A fine line between kindness and weakness?

[DarkNebulaWelder]

How do we equate Christian kindness with wisdom?

When do we draw the line with people who continually take advantage of our Christian kindness?

[artsylady]

Good question. I would like some insight too.

[Guest]

I'll take a shot at this.

I spent some time on the street homeless, and while in the shelters and missions I listened to what some of the more "experienced" folks had to say. I learned more about how to scam folks in the course of a 30 minute conversation with one guy than some people learn their whole lives. How to panhandle, "fly a sign" at a free way ramp, all kinds of things.

The best example of being true to our beliefs and walk in wisdom that I can think of is this:

If a homeless looking person asks you for money because they haven't eaten (supposedly) do not give cash. Get a book of coupons from McDonald's or where ever and give them a coupon or two. They can be used for food, but unlike cash they can't be used for alcohol and drugs. Doing this allows me to help someone who needs it without allowing them to get that next drink or fix they may want. Best of both worlds.

I use that as an example because where I live many homeless are that way because of addictions of various kinds. The food coupons are an immediate turn off for someone wanting a fix -- its useless at the dope house or bar. If the person is genuinely hungry and I've got some time to sit with them (or buy the meal), it can turn into a chance to share the Gospel with another that needs to hear it. I don't have any verses to back it, but it works.

[TheoMike]

How do we equate Christian kindness with wisdom?

When do we draw the line with people who continually take advantage of our Christian kindness?

This is a very good question. As believers we are all filled with the Holy Spirit, and the Bible does say that He will lead us into all truth. So I think the first thing we need to understand is that we need to continually walk in the Spirit and be aware of His voice and guidance.

The second thing is an old saying: Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. I've pastored numerous churches and I was always amazed at the ease with which total strangers would approach the church office looking for a handout. As a young pastor, I was pretty free with our petty cash fund. But it didn't take long before I realized that for every genuine need I saw, there were dozens of scam artists who every month worked "the system," calling churches in town looking for an easy mark. With amazing regularity, usually when the electric bills came out, the people would come.

So, while the Spirit will lead us, we also need to exercise some discernment. Being taken advantage of does not glorify God in any way and doesn't help the person taking advantage of you. By giving without accountability or thought, you are actually encouraging some people to continue living off the graciousness of others. What kind of life is that?

I think that if we walk in the Spirit, He will fine tune our spiritual senses and we will easily see that fine line.

[Guest * Michelle *]

How do we equate Christian kindness with wisdom?

When do we draw the line with people who continually take advantage of our Christian kindness?

It seems to me that Jesus was kind to everyone. But God also gave him revelation to see into people's hearts. We have to understand the nature of being human...we have our own secret motives and desires. I think it is important to continue to be kind to everyone even when they use you. The important thing to remember though is that we were made to love one another. But that doesnt mean you have to be a pushover. God gives his people discernment and wisdom shouts out to us! You have to realise and pick up when people are being manipulative. Usually when people are manipulative or have a low self esteem and try to take advantage its because they have needs and areas in their lives that havent been dealth with yet.

Jesus ministered to many people by being kind to outcasts, the poor and people who were often rejected in society. I guess sometimes the people who use and abuse your kindess can sometimes be those who need the most help. Maybe God will direct you to help them and other times he gets us to forgive and forget and love them from afar. The important thing is to stay submitted to God and make sure your not getting distracted in your walk.

Edited June 6, 2007 by * Michelle *

[EricH]

Gentleness or meekness in the Bible is an interesting concept. I think of the sermon on the mount:

Blessed are the gentle, because they will inherit the earth.

Matthew 5:5 HCSB

The word picture of meekeness in the greek is strength under control. When we demonstrate meekenss towards God it means that even though we could resist Him, we don't because we trust in His character to do the right thing in our lives. When we act meekly towards those who abuse us, we do so because even through we could seek revenge ourselves, we trust in God to make all things right.

The kind of meekness God desires is one that sets aside ones desire to anipulate situations and act on ones on behalf. That is replaced with a trusting in God to be our defender and provider. This does not make us milquetoasts. This is a willing setting aside of strength. It is an act of faith

You have heard that it was said, An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. But I tell you, don't resist an evildoer. On the contrary, if anyone slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. As for the one who wants to sue you and take away your shirt, let him have your coat as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to the one who asks you, and don't turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Matthew 5:38-42 HCSB

Biblical meekness is not passivity. It is asking God how He wants us to repsond in each situation, then setting aside our desired response, for the response God would have us make. It is the opposite of self interest. It is always acting for the good of God and others.

[INLJ]

There`s a really thin line between kindness and weakness.. An example of kindness is being strong enough when you can forgive a man, who betrayed you...

[methinkshe]

2 Corinthians 12:9

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

In Jesus,

Ruth

[MeCajunboy]

How do we equate Christian kindness with wisdom?

When do we draw the line with people who continually take advantage of our Christian kindness?

Cajunboy:::: I know one main principle that I live by in response to your quest! If you allow people to take advantage of you merely because you're a Christian, you may be sinning a greater sin than not. Too much of anything can lead to sin. There is nothing wrong with standing for God's Word and being firm on IT ! If we are too wishy-washy with our lives, we will probably be the same with God's Laws/Words. I can be just as nice in getting my views out on the Word of God, but if someone is just trying to see how far they can push me into how they want me to perform, I will simply not entertain it. I will stand firm on my beliefs and walk away. The thing I always like to leave a non-believer with as food for thought is, "What if it is they that are wrong in their quest and zest for life??" The way I see it, "what do I have to lose by being a decent person and not being trapped into doing things that I really don't want to partake in." In the end if I was wrong, I've not hurt of offended anyone but I would die with the fact that the non-believer would have been right...THAT! I can live with. But what if all that we hold to be truth of God, to be THE TRUTH? There will be a Heaven as we know it and we will be with God for an eternity! Now that doesn't sound like too much to relinquish here on earth to me! How about you guys/gals?

Blessings

Cajunboy