Is divorce ever permitable?

[gop_jeff]

My wife was the victim of an adulterous husband in her first marriage. I had no issues marrying her, because Jesus did explictily say that adultery was a permissible reason to divorce (Matthew 5:32).

Now we are happliy married, and I feel that there is nothing wrong with it.

[Work in Progress]

Happy Anniversary Yod!! When my oldest son was born, we had season tickets to the Yankees. I made the mistake of giving birth to my son on a Sunday. My husband stuck around for the required length of time and then high-tailed it the Yankee game, where the announcer (Phil Rizzuto?) announced the birth on t.v with congrats. LOL - so good to know you guys have your priorities straight, lol.

As for divorce - I would hesitate to do anything that God clearly says he "hates". But yes, from what I can see in those verses, Jesus permitted it for adultery and then makes clear that regardless, remarriage is not an option for the believer unless the spouse or exspouse dies. From what I see in Scripture, marriage is sacred and not to be passed around like a loaf of bread. I think the teaching is there so people will take very seriously what they are doing, realizing that their choice is for an entire lifetime. Like others here, I see nothing that says a woman has to stay in an abusive relationship. By all means, she should get away from him. But that is different than saying she is allowed to divorce and remarry from what I can see in those verses. But like so many other things, the verses are argued over and debated.

I've seen many people use lots of excuses for divorce. The most popular is "I wasn't saved then" and "well, abandonment is a Biblical reason, and he abandoned me mentally". It's human nature for us to rationalize.

[Catsmeow]

I Corinthians 7

12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

17Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

WIP: This verse is scripture and clearly states that if the unbeliever departs, let him go ...the believer is no longer bound.

[Work in Progress]

Cat, thanks. I know about that Scripture, but from what I can see on the teachings about divorce, it is never recommened, and only permissable when the spouse commits adultery. Remarriage is not an option for a believer, unless the spouse is dead. That is my understanding of the Scripture.

My point about the abandoning was that I've actually heard people say that, since the spouse "abandonned them mentally", they were permitted to divorce and remarry, lol. As in "he never helped me with the house!" or "He doesn't communicate!".

Sorry for any confusion. I understand that an abandonned spouse has no choice but to watch the other one leave, and that they are not held accountable for the other's actions. That is very different , IMO, than Jesus's teaching on divorce and remarriage.

[Guest LadyC]

cats, i have no doubt that God brought mark and i together also. another long and complicated story, but it was definitely the hand of God.

my first marriage was anything BUT God's doing though. of course, i was wise enough back then to know that i married my first husband for all sorts of reasons, and none of them were about God's will. it was a disaster... he was emotionally abusive, substance addicted (at the time and for many years to follow), and eventually became physically abusive. and yes, he committed adultry, but so did i, and when the divorce finally came, it was me that filed it.

i spent years wondering how God could forgive, because when He forgives, He forgets.... and how could He forget when there were two small children that resulted from that marriage? but God's ways are not ours, and His forgiveness is unconditional. i still count my blessings that He brought mark and i together.

still, i've known so many people in bad relationships, and often they aren't even married yet. sometimes they insist on going through with getting married to someone who won't work, who won't put down the bottle, who won't put down their fist, because they think they are in love, and think that God brought them together... 'it had to be God or we wouldn't have made it this far'. they just don't understand that not everything is of God.

[Catsmeow]

My "Ex" asked me for a divorce and I asked him if he was sure that was what he really wanted. He said, "Yes!"

I quietly agreed to grant that and he filed and sent me the papers to sign. He was thrilled; secretly ...I was relieved.

I wouldn't be a punching bag again.

A while later I he told me of his sexual liasons with others women since the divorce. I figure that made it solid for me...now I was completely free to remarry, since my "ex" was having sexual affairs with other women since our divorce.

I am absolutely certain and totally positive my marriage with Bill is a marriage God himself put together.

It's not always perfect and we fuss at each other but for the first time I know what it's like to have a husband given to me by the Lord. There's something about a marriage the God puts together Himself. There's a love and intensity there that nothing can compare to.

[Catsmeow]

LadyC: I figure if Jesus could forgive a prostitute or if God could forgive fornication, he can certainly forgive our weakness in leaving a dead marriage.

I married my "ex" long, long before I ever got saved. He was into all kinds of occult stuff and I was a flaming New Ager and wore a "crystal" and messed with Tarot cards and we were a mess....He was terribly abusive and I was miserable.

Fortunately, after I got saved, he couldn't deal with having a Christian wife, since he absolutely despised Christians. To be married to one was a sentence worse than death to him.

I haven't known too many people who hated Christians as much as he did. My conversion just knocked him over. He became even more abusive and hateful.

I have no regrets that I gave him the divorce....it's nice not having to run and hide at women's shelters.

[Guest LadyC]

my ex was a preacher's kid... not the best kind of preacher, but the kind that had affairs with the young women in his congregation. but knowing God didn't mean we were living for Him at the time!

you're right about the intensity of a marriage brought together by God. mark and i have had our share of difficult times, and i can't imagine any year ever being full of more trials than the last year has been. but through it all, the love continued to grow between us, never diminish.

i married mark when i was 34. i'd had lots of relationships, some long term, some not so long, during those 34 years. it seemed that after a period of time, the "love" always faded. boredom would set in, then restlessness, then the wandering eye....

ya know, it's interesting to note that movies or songs that dealt with infidelity never bothered me until i married mark. now i can't stomach anything that doesn't promote the sanctitiy of marriage. we bought a movie once, "unfaithful" with richard gere. i LOVE richard gere. we tried watching it together, and we were both so disgusted by the storyline we couldn't watch it. i ended up giving it away. that was the first time i realized how turned off i was by even the thought of infidelity.

laugh if you want, but i've been hooked on one soap opera for most of my life. general hospital. this last week my favorite couple both embarked on affairs... the wife walked in on the husband and his lover so she ran off to someone else. i have now quit watching the soap i've followed for 25 years.

my mom has a little framed piece of artwork that says 'marriage takes 3', and has a little poem with it. she always said she'd leave it to me in her will. now that my dad is gone, i'm hoping she'll give it to me sooner. it's such a subtle reminder that for a marriage to work, God has to be the central figure in the relationship!

[His son]

Okay I guess I best testify here,

I am 75 years old been married to my present wife for 20+ years, was married 8 times before I got Saved. I was going to stay unmarried after my 8th wife left me after I got saved. But God had my wife waiting for me. We met, I was doing everything in my power to stay single, and not get involved on more than a pastor, seeker level. Well God gave me a dream in which my wife made a statement about getting married, and approximately one week later as church ended she said to me "quote if two people love each other should they not be married." Exactly word for word the dream. We have been used in a pastorate, YWAM street evangelizm, Teen Challenge directors, And as Chaplains and Directors of an Association of Chaplains. So I guess I'm here to say that God forgave me of my foolishness, changed me heart and made me a new creature.

[gop_jeff]

Cool story His Son. Glad that it worked out for you after all!