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Afal

Afal

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I have made it through today without tears and without suicidal thoughts!

:P:noidea::thumbsup::)

Thank you for your prayers and support! :)

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RustyAngeL
RustyAngeL

Hi Afal, I can only say that I too have felt like you do. Since my husband has become ill with cancer and we are facing months of chemo depression has been a constant thing. Yet the Spirit in me r

shepherdsgrace

shepherdsgrace

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Praise God! I am so happy for you. We are praying for you. And we know you are seeking the LORD. Be encouraged and keep posting so that we can stick with you. Better days are ahead.

WayneB

WayneB

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One day at a time... :blink::o

onetiggerroo

onetiggerroo

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Praise the LORD! :taped::blink::24: I know you can beat this. :o:24:

Afal

Afal

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I am very embarrassed to admit that things have already gone wrong today ... What I wrote last night was true ...This morning, I am back to feeling that I can't fight these thoughts any more.

Sorry ;):)

Northern lass

Northern lass

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We will keep praying Afal! Don't be embarrassed! :);):):)

shepherdsgrace

shepherdsgrace

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That is the way it works Afal. Don't be discouraged. Just keep pressing on. Do the spiritual work that you need to do. Keep trusting in Jesus. One day it will be gone completely. It takes time. This is a battle you are in. You will win. We are praying for you.

FreedbyHim

FreedbyHim

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Posted

Hey Afal. I am so happy that when I came on here when I came home that you made it through the weekend. I can see through your posts that you had your ups and downs. But Afal there is no reason to be embarrased about feeling down again. Rollercoasters of emotion happen, you are trying to heal and there will be ups and downs - as you heal more the downs will become less frequent. I'm still praying for you Afal, I hope that the support everyone at WB's is providing you with is enough to help you through this. ;);)

God Bless,

Morgan

onetiggerroo

onetiggerroo

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Posted

Afal, remember you are blessed!

Blessings come from the LORD.

The LORD blesses HIS Children! And, you are one of HIS Children! :):wub:

I am standing in the gap for you. :whistling:

Afal

Afal

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Last night things came to a head again. I was suicidal. No longer was I fighting to stay alive. This time I wanted to die. I rang the Samaritans. Their policy has now changed. They don't try to encourage you to stay alive. They do however offer to stay with you on the phone while you die. The lady asked me if I was ready to die. I said no because I hadn't written my suicide note. A suicide note is important, I believe, and it would be very unfair to die without leaving one. :21:

Once again today, I have read through the whole of this thread - each of the beautiful answers and replies that you wrote. Thank you for the love and encouragement that is so evident in them. :24:

But things have gone from bad to worse since this thread started. I don't know why I am writing this really because I know that nobody can help me. I am here and you are there. But I do believe in God, I do believe in miracles and I do believe in prayer! :24:

My only known way of avoiding these suicidal thoughts is to take enough medication to knock myself out. This was the advice of the doctor when I discussed it with her. :laugh: Even the doctor couldn't suggest anything else. :blink:

Last night I ended up in chat for hours talking about the situation with one exceptionally kind person. :cool: But I can't do that tonight, tomorrow night, Sunday night, next week , next month etc. I have to learn to fight these suicidal thoughts by myself.

Any ideas? Any advice?

PS - I have already tried exercise, taking a bath, listening to relaxing music, watching TV, praying, reading the Bible etc. All failed to alleviate the suicidal thoughts. Knocking myself out seems to be the only thing that works, BUT I DON'T LIKE DOING THIS!

PPS - Please don't tell me that suicide is wrong, because I already know that. What I want to know is how can I overcome these suicidal thoughts?

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