Need REAL Christians in my life

[Tomi]

Praying for you also Trisha-Anne. Welcome to worthy. Stay awhile.

[Tomi]

I know it's dissappointing sometimes when people let you down. I've learned to focus on God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I learned that focusing on christians led me astray and discouraged. People are not perfect but when they are christians we expect them to be all the time. Forgive your friend, ask God to forgive you, and forgive yourself. Let me know how it goes.

[meforevidence]

I am going through a lot lately with friends AND family who claim to be Christians. And they've hurt me more than those who claim nothing!

I need to know - how do I discern a real Christian from a fraud?

Or, as a Christian myself, should I try to judge other people?

My emotions are suffering mightily from the brutality shown be by a friend who said she was Christian.

Please, prayerfully, help me with this!

Thanks!

Dear Trisha-Anne

First of all, I understand. When I was younger, my family was not as rich (financially) as were most of the people at the congregation we went to. I can't tell you how many times we were hurt by words and actions of the very people that we looked to for encouragement and support from the world.

This was a fork in the road for me. It would either make me or break me. I used the hurt and anger and turned that energy around into something positive. I realised that I am not living for them. I am living for God. Remember our Lord Jesus was not among the religeous popular either.

Secondly, sometimes I believe we are hurt because we lack self love and self respect. We are hurt because we begin to believe the things told to us even when they are not true. Let God be your confidence. You might not only try prayer but meditations (Christian based of course). Look within and listen and let God fill you with His love.

Well, I guess I rambled a little to much. Be strong. You are a child of the living God. I pray He will lead new friends and relationships to you for strength, happiness, peace and encouragement.

God bless, Billy

[Fraught]

First, Welcome to Worthy!

Second, I can say in my own life that some of my biggest hurts have come from trusting people who say they are Christian. I cannot know their heart. I can only say that I've learned that the only place to put 100% of my trust is in the Lord. That's not to say I don't have faith and trust in my fellow Christians, but I guess it is just harder to be surprised by anything anyone does anymore. I don't like how cynical that sounds, as I type it, but many people - Christian or not, will let us down in our lives.

She is absolutely right.

Psalm 32:7

You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble;You surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah.

sometimes we just have to hold tight to God.

[MeCajunboy]

I am going through a lot lately with friends AND family who claim to be Christians. And they've hurt me more than those who claim nothing!

I need to know - how do I discern a real Christian from a fraud?

Or, as a Christian myself, should I try to judge other people?

My emotions are suffering mightily from the brutality shown be by a friend who said she was Christian.

Please, prayerfully, help me with this!

Thanks!

Dear heart.....You just figured it our on your own....You don't need advice from anyone....You've found the answer......the ones who have hurt you ......ARE THE FRAUDS. Particularly, if they persist in doing the same hurting over and over again. Whether they will be granted forgivenesss and become full Christians again later, is up to them and God Himself....But in the meantime, you don't have to associate yourself with them now....Eventually as you become closer to God you will learn to discern the difference in a True Christian.....Simply, what you know of yourself and how you act and love and worship God should be a good indicator as to how you should pick your friends...

Blessings

Cajunboy

[sierra21]

I am going through a lot lately with friends AND family who claim to be Christians. And they've hurt me more than those who claim nothing!

I need to know - how do I discern a real Christian from a fraud?

Or, as a Christian myself, should I try to judge other people?

My emotions are suffering mightily from the brutality shown be by a friend who said she was Christian.

Please, prayerfully, help me with this!

Thanks!

Dear heart.....You just figured it our on your own....You don't need advice from anyone....You've found the answer......the ones who have hurt you ......ARE THE FRAUDS. Particularly, if they persist in doing the same hurting over and over again. Whether they will be granted forgivenesss and become full Christians again later, is up to them and God Himself....But in the meantime, you don't have to associate yourself with them now....Eventually as you become closer to God you will learn to discern the difference in a True Christian.....Simply, what you know of yourself and how you act and love and worship God should be a good indicator as to how you should pick your friends...

Blessings

Cajunboy

I disagree. Even Christians make mistakes. You can forgive them, but you dont have to risk making the same mistake twice by continuing to be friends with them. Pray for them, give them your best, and move on. You need people in your life that help you move closer to God and gosh darnit make you feel good.

If I had a quarter for every person I thought would turn into a great friend and didn't....well lets just say I wouldn't have to worry about money too much

[luckylexy]

Trisha-anne,

This is such a hard thing, and something that I've struggled with also, over the years. As Sierra said, you need people around you who will help you grow closer to God and feel good. As far as discernment goes... Open up slowly to people... Get to know them, their attitudes, their responses, etc. before sharing "heavy" stuff. Pray during this time, both by yourself and with your new friend. Don't be cold or closed-off, but go slow.

As far as judging goes... You can acknowledge sin, forgive it, and modify your "ground rules" and boundaries with someone without venturing into the area of judging another. It's a fine line, but it can be done. You can simply say: It really upset me when you _____. I forgive you, and I still love you, but I want to see you turn away from these hurtful behaviours. I'm going to pray for you and I want you to keep me updated on how you're doing. I need to see that you're making progress in this area before the trust can be restored in our relationship. Until then, I need to set a few boundaries....

I think that "real" friends in this life a few, but that's okay! A true friend will not want to hurt you and will want a mutually encouraging relationship, where you can both point each other towards Christ. I think you can weed out those who will not make good friends by keeping the focus on God. Those who won't be true friends will likely just start leaving you alone!

Hope this helps a little :-)

[Ms Lucy]

This is a good topic

About Christian friends, it's a two way street ! But you can't alway's have your cake and eat it .

If i was a minister i would love to preach on this topic. I see too often, and heard also, along been

and now in this sisuation. Sorry for the spelling.

Maybe God is showing me something here for His Church

The word talks about : Donot forsake the assemblies of the saints . Right ! Alot of believers think it has to do with Church. Where does it say "Church " ?

The Church is "Christ Himself ". We are the body, the saints. God, is telling us to have "Unity ", with each other . Fellowship together. Like hang around with each other as friends ! Not just seeing

friends in the building a place of worship on Sunday's ! But we need each other during the week also !

To build one another up, share burdens, pray for one another, encourage one another. Love one another . We as Christians need contact with one another . I'm not saying everyday, but go out of your way and visit or pick up the phone even if it is long distants. God, would rather see us hanging around with each other than hang around with the worldly people. Also, Jesus, sat with sinners the worldly people. And yet we are too called sinners ! As Christians we have our faults, were not perfect, only God is ! We have to be careful when we get caught up with worldly, so we don't fall into sin. Were to pray for the unsave and bring them to Christ .

But back to Christian friends , remember they can hurt you too ! Sometimes they can be your worst enemies, i been their and hurt many times. And i learn to forgive & move on ! And the world can really be the worst !! I have one true friend, that is a two way relationship . Wer both go out of our ways to call on the phone & visit each other. Shes 62 & dying of cancer, she does'nt complain, her spirits are up ! Shes looking forward to going home with the LORD ! Her name is Dee. As she suffers,

shes the one who's lifting me up when i'm down. God Bless her ! The greatest friend i have is Jesus Christ, my all & all !!! Then my husband ! I wish i had a friend my own age. i'm 51. But i don't . Am i gonna get down, no ! I had friends one time, they all died of cancer , and yes they were my age.

that was 10 yrs. ago . Their with the LORD now in a better place. Pray to the LORD, to send friends into your life, to grow together & lift each other up for God's Glory ! And don't ever forget the assemblies of the saints ! We need each other-------for the Glory of the LORD !!!

God Bless !

[OneLight]

If we hold the light of Jesus up to any life, we will find faults. Especially, the lives of those who try to follow Jesus. All through the Gospels, we find Jesus talking about Love and Forgiveness. He instructs us to follow His examples, not our flesh, for we are always being changed by every good and bad experience we live through. Find the love in your heart to forgive and be an example to those who have hurt you. We can not judge the heart of others and should not. That is God's job.

I know the feeling. The first church I went to, after returning to Jesus, caused me pain through lies and neglect. I still, today, have not found anyone who I can call a friend that is a Christian and lives near enough to see whenever I need someone to talk to. I am just from a different background then those who are in the church I attend, but my best friend if Jesus, and I trust Him with everything I am. Every human will let you down in one way or another. They are just like you and I. We, in turn, will let others down. We are to treat others as we would like them to treat us. Allow the love that Jesus gave you to grow and don't give in to the hate that Satan would have you follow.

Love In Christ,

OneLight

[desi2007]

I am going through a lot lately with friends AND family who claim to be Christians. And they've hurt me more than those who claim nothing!

I need to know - how do I discern a real Christian from a fraud?

Or, as a Christian myself, should I try to judge other people?

My emotions are suffering mightily from the brutality shown be by a friend who said she was Christian.

Please, prayerfully, help me with this!

Thanks!