DOES ANYONE HAVE AN UNSAVED SPOUSE?

[aburgess]

I WAS JUST WONDERING IF ANYONE HERE HAS A SPOUSE THAT IS UNSAVED? HOW DO YOU HANDLE BEING A CHRISTIAN WHILE LIVING WITH SOMEONE WHOS NOT?

[Trusting Jesus]

My husband and I have been married 19 years. When we were first married I was a Christian, but in rebellion. He thought he was a Christian because he lived in America! No, he wasn't saved. It was tough, but we did love each other. I was in rebellion, but I still prayed every day and I did pray for his salvation. After we had been married a few years, I was close to a nervous breakdown over various things. Finally I knew what was wrong - I needed to get right with God. I told my husband that I had to get back to church. He told be to find one and he would go the first Sunday with me, but not to expect him to go every week. Well, he went the first Sunday....and the second....and the thrid. He accepted Jesus as his Lord and Saviour and today 12 years later he is on fire for the Lord and can't study enough. He leads a Bible study at our local residential care, he emails weekly commentaries to anyone who wants to be on his mailing list, he is doing a Bible study by mail with the son of his cousin who is in prison. He would also like to go into the ministry. We'll watch and wait to see what God has planned there.

Those first few years of our marriage were rough, though. He drank quite a bit and had lots of anger. I know that prayer made the difference. I prayed and also a very dear friend prayed. I don't know if my experience can help you, but I hope so.

<>< ><>

Nathele

[mtmom]

You have a difficult road - not something you don't know. I was married to an unsaved spouse for ~25 years. I prayed for ~25 years. To get through we made deals about how I could go to church and he would get to do something he wanted. I could take the children to Sunday school until age 12 then they would decide. I was not allowed to "badger" him about accepting Christ and he was not allowed to use the Lord's name in vain. I could only read the Bible out of his sight and he wasn't allowed to belittle it. But every decision we veiwed from different directions. As I am sure you know being a Christian gives you an entirely different set of values and morals then most of the unbelieving world. I would not divorce him because I believed it was contrary to God's law. I prayed for the Holy Spirit to soften his heart toward Christ - to prepare him to hear the good news and I prayed that God would help me to love him. The marriage survived through alcohol and AA, physical abuse, affairs, post traumatic stress disorder from Vietnam and his anger. I saw first hand what being unforgiven and unforgiving does to a person - my heart bled for him but he would not accept the cure. Your love will bring you more pain than those who are equally yoked - but in a way the pain makes the joyful moments even better. I do not know the "right" answer I have only travelled the journey. Lean heavily on the Lord - He will never let you fall. Praise Him in all circumstances (not for them but in them). Your worship will be deeper, your praise higher, but your path bumpier.

[aburgess]

THANK YOU FOR SHARING! I BELIEVE THAT GOD WILL BE FAITHFUL TO ME AND MY HUSBAND I JUST HAVE TO BE PATIENT AND WAIT ON GOD ITS IN HIS TIMING

[kitty1]

I have just married my guy after 8 years of living in sin, we have three little girls and another baby girl on the way. He is not saved, and I just started to find my way back to the Lord. I knew living together was a sin but I was waitting for the right time to leave.

I found a family church and was very happy, my girls loved it and we were spending lots of quality time talking and learning about the Lord.

I joined the Ladies bible study and opened up to them.

The next thing I knew I wasn't allow to have commun or join as a member of the church and my salvation was brought into question.

I felt rejected but I understood I was sinning and had to get right with God.

I just didn't know what to do.

I knew I didn't want to marry him, that's why I was waitting for the right time, but it was all happening so fast and I even started questioning my salvation.

I thought maybe I could lose it.

The pastors wife was trying to say maybe I was never saved, but I know that is not right.

I was saved at 22 and know that Jesus came into my life, but I back slide. Does that mean I lose my salvation????? I don't know. What I do know is that I WAS saved, there is no question in my heart or mind.

But what if Jesus returned and I was still living in sin???

So I accepted the consequences for what I sowed and married him.

I reaped what I sowed, and life is very hard now. I don't know if I made a mistake because I paniced. I often feel like I was trapped and am now stuck in my husbands world.

I stopped going to the church and my kids miss it so much, my husband resents me because he knows I married him because of what was going on with me and the church and wanting to not be in a state of sin when Jesus returns.

I am so lost and confused and feel utterly alone.

My children are my joy and God is our favorite topic, but my husband belittles me if he catches me talking about God or reading my bible, and it's painful to hear him use the Lords name in vain constantly.

I married him because I wanted to be right with the Lord, because I wanted to be responsible and accept what I sowed and as my husband likes to point out, I wanted to be accepted and belong to the church.

I am constantly praying to Jesus, telling him how sorry I am for the mess I have made, praying that he will forgive me and not reject me, praying for a christian home.

When I pray with my girls we are thankful and pray for others, when I pray alone it's always painful because I am so ashamed.

I love the Lord but feel like I am always letting him down and messing things up.

I don't know what to think any more because I am unequally yoked what does this mean for me?

[kitty1]

I would just like to add that finding Worthy has been a true blessing from God. I am so greatful to all of you. The Lord knows that I need other Christains to talk too and share my life with. You all have been so kind here. Opening up and talking about my home life with my husband is not a difficult thing to do because of the Lord. I had been trying to deal on my own and failling miserablely but finding Worthy has given me some hope. Thank you for letting me share my situation with you all, it feels so good just to be able to talk about it.

God bless you all.

[aburgess]

kitty,

I CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO YOUR SITUATION ALTHOUGH IVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 14 YEARS (IM ONLY 33) I WAS NOT SAVED UNTIL A LITTLE OVER A YEAR AGO. JESUS HAS COMPLETELY CHANGED WHO I AM AND MY HUSBAND DOES NOT UNDERSTAND HOW I CHANGED SO MUCH AND IVE TOLD HIM ITS NOT ME ITS GOD. MY BOYS (I HAVE 2 AGES 15 AND 12) DIDNT LIKE IT AT FIRST EITHER BECAUSE ALL MY MORALS CHANGED AND I STARTED LIVING FOR CHRIST . NOW I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP SOMETIMES ALTHOUGH I KNOW GOD WILL NEVER LET ME GO AND I AM CHANGED FOREVER IT JUST SEEMS SO HARD SOMETIMES WITH THE WORLD AROUND ME I PRAY AND ASK GOD FOR STRENGTH AND I HAVE GOOD AND BAD DAYS WITH THIS WALK ALL I KNOW IS I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME SINCE JESUS CAME INTO MY LIFE AND I WOULD NEVER WANT TO GO BACK TO THE OLD PERSON BECAUSE I HAD NO PEACE BEFORE I JUST WANT MY FAMILY TO SEE HOW MUCH THEY (WE) NEED CHRIST IN OUR LIVES WITHOUT HIM LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING

[mathqueen]

My husband was saved about 11 years ago, but his walk was short-lived and has been sporadic at best. I can't remember the last time he went to church (I go by myself and serve in multi-media and am also involved in Bible study). He is very supportive in all those things and there is no contention at all with my going and serving. He believes in Jesus and will talk about Him with others should it come up. He can be very powerful in these conversations, which are rare anyway. Except for those sporadic episodes, there is no fruit, no relationship. I pray every day. Keep praying yourself!

[mathqueen]

Oh WOW my husband's son just called from Texas to tell his father that he just accepted Jesus!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest Biblicist]

My best friend and her husband married when they were not Christians. She became a Christian a few years back and through her submission to his authority as her husband, and through God's leading, he just received Jesus Christ as his Saviour a week ago.

It's been a long difficult road, sprinkled with prayer and lots of tears, but they are now both Believers and he proposed to her to renew their vows as husband and wife in the LORD, a united front against the enemy. It's exciting and beautiful. I'm so blessed to have been witness to the awesome miracle.