Out of Order?

[Guest Biblicist]

Oh yea...Suzanne..what would you tell your daughter?

Dads, I hope you already know this...................

To respond to tah's question, she, fortunately, wants to marry someone like her father. She knows the principals for what makes a good husband. She has seen what can cause troubles in marriages, and she also knows that the Covenant of Marriage, is nothing to fool around with. (She's 16, by the way), but we've talked about life issues since she was old enough to understand. We discuss things like divorce, because it's all around, so it's an issue that has to be addressed. We talk about the mistakes we made early on, as her parents. We talk about, her value, as a young woman, and how she should view herself, so that young men, will think no less of her, than she does. (Dads, the way you show value to your daughter, is priceless to her in her self-respect!)

We talk about money issues, and learning self-control. We talk about how a husband needs to put his family first, in all matters, including money and spending. We talk about sacrifice and her role as a woman. But, most importantly, we talk about what God says with regard to her. That's THE most important discussions we have.

Really though, Dads, you have an awesome responsibility in the shaping of your daughter, and her relationship with men. (I have to wonder why, so many young women are living with men who are not their husbands? Ever wonder about the psychology behind that, with regard to young women?)

Malachi 4

5 "See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. 6 He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse."

In His Love,

Suzanne

Luke 1:

I believe Dad's should "date" their daughters. Treating them the way they should expect a perspective "husband" to treat them. If you raise the standards of man your daughter spends time with, she will not "settle" for just any guy. All girls want to marry men like their Daddies. I did. Sometimes it's weird how much my husband is like my father.

[patricia1]

I will only put myself in place to a man who loves me as much as Christ Loves the church. That was and is two pastors. I have never found this true in relationships to another, like in marraiges.

In verse 26 it is God who sanctifies her not the man. Have you ever met a man who loves a woman more or anywhere near the amount of love for his own body.!!!

Verse 31...yeah right and verse 32..a true mystery...

I am rather like the woman of proverbs, the wife who is able to make decisions without her husband.

[jackie d]

Okay, now that's something I can hear and heed. Now the question I have is how does a person who has lived certain patterns in their lives recognize when they are falling back into those patterns of learned behavior for self preservation or what have you?If we don't examine the problems of the past how can we stay out of them in the future? Do you really believe that the Samaritan woman just woke up the next day a completely new person never to mistakenly pick up the old patterns or was there a process of healing and growth? Was there another person to guide her, listen to her pain and/or cry with her or was she left flailing with strict instruction of what do? That's what all of life is isn't it....growth and submission to Christ? Roles and order?

You speak of the older Christian woman having a role to play regarding the younger...so I wonder what does her role look like to the person in need of her wisdom? How does that older Christian women get through to the younger that she can trust to even be submissive to her instruction?

You ask some very poinient questions. And I believe that the secret is in submitting to the authority of a local church. NO I do not believe the Samaritan woman woke up the next day and was a completely new person. She needed discipleship. We all do. If we do not have Christians around us who understand us, where we came from, then we have no one to hold us accountable. We need someone to submit to, an older Christian lady, a pastor, deacons. That's why God created Church congregations, and the order there. So we would have support, for our protection against the temptations of the Devil. No man is an island. [to coin a phrase]

I don't think that you can ever expect someone to submit to your authority, or instruction, unless they are your children . But that does not mean you should not share what God has laid upon your heart for that person when it is called for. It's up to God to do the changing, but it is up to us to do the witnessing, sharing and counseling. Conviction is the work of the Holy Spirit, and we can not help it along. However, we are also told that the Scriptures convict men of sin, in 2 Timothy 4:2b, Paul commands the minister of the Word to "convict, reprove and urge...." Here, as you can see, it is not enough to say, "I just minister the Word and let the Holy spirit do the convicting," The minister of the Word himself is requred to convict. And there are other passages to the same effect. (1 Tim 5:20; Titus 1:9) That means bringing conviction to counselee's itself is a part of the ministry of the Word.

So what does the role of a woman offering wisdom to younger women look like? Scripture is quite clear on that.

Titus 2

3The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

likewise...meaning like the men v.2 they are to be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

So when you are looking for a woman to be your mentor, look for these attributes. If you wish to mentor another, these are the attributes you should strive to have.

see now this is what I'm talking about!! this is what will help to give me and others like me (I think), the hearts desire for a changed heart and mind toward "rules", "regulations", "order", what have you.....but I must absorb it slowly or I might pull my head back into my turtle shell....

I want with all my heart to be submissive to the wonderful order and good things that God has created, within the church and within marriage and family....I love the Lord with everything that I have...if you knew me well you would realize it is true that there isn't a bone in my body that wishes to rebel against the proper order of God's created things, but I must be sure that who I am listening to is listening to me and that the spirit of the teaching does not hold personal agenda. My ears and eyes are open now....I'm listening

thankyou Biblicist very very much

[Vickilynn]

And I believe that the secret is in submitting to the authority of a local church. NO I do not believe the Samaritan woman woke up the next day and was a completely new person. She needed discipleship. We all do. If we do not have Christians around us who understand us, where we came from, then we have no one to hold us accountable. We need someone to submit to, an older Christian lady, a pastor, deacons. That's why God created Church congregations, and the order there. So we would have support, for our protection against the temptations of the Devil. No man is an island. [to coin a phrase]

Shalom Bib,

Amen and amen. Exactly!

[Guest Biblicist]

see now this is what I'm talking about!! this is what will help to give me and others like me (I think), the hearts desire for a changed heart and mind toward "rules", "regulations", "order", what have you.....but I must absorb it slowly or I might pull my head back into my turtle shell....

I want with all my heart to be submissive to the wonderful order and good things that God has created, within the church and within marriage and family....I love the Lord with everything that I have...if you knew me well you would realize it is true that there isn't a bone in my body that wishes to rebel against the proper order of God's created things, but I must be sure that who I am listening to is listening to me and that the spirit of the teaching does not hold personal agenda. My ears and eyes are open now....I'm listening

thankyou Biblicist very very much

God bless you dear sister.

[jackie d]

see now this is what I'm talking about!! this is what will help to give me and others like me (I think), the hearts desire for a changed heart and mind toward "rules", "regulations", "order", what have you.....but I must absorb it slowly or I might pull my head back into my turtle shell....

I want with all my heart to be submissive to the wonderful order and good things that God has created, within the church and within marriage and family....I love the Lord with everything that I have...if you knew me well you would realize it is true that there isn't a bone in my body that wishes to rebel against the proper order of God's created things, but I must be sure that who I am listening to is listening to me and that the spirit of the teaching does not hold personal agenda. My ears and eyes are open now....I'm listening

thankyou Biblicist very very much

God bless you dear sister.

[Vickilynn]

Shalom,

What we tell our children...

We have a 23 year old son and several times he has called home to ask if he could date a certain girl and what we thought about it. Now, he is a Christian and so he has a responsibility to date only Christians and not be unequally yoked. This has caused him great consternation and several times, he rebelled and dated non-Christians anyway. At the end of each relationship, he admitted it was better to be alone than to do things his own way and defy G-d's design. FINALLY, he has learned. We taught him this all his life, but in real life, he had to find out for himself that G-d's ways are right, even if they go against our flesh.

We teach our daughters this as well. Our 19 y/o knows about purity in relationships and when she gets married, her Christian husband will be the spiritual authority in their home. This is something we, as parents, should teach our children from a young age. Our other children also know about Christian relationships and how they are in G-d's order.

We, as parents, can only pray that when our children are grown, they will embrace G-d's way and not the ways of the flesh.

[jackie d]

Shalom,

What we tell our children...

We have a 23 year old son and several times he has called home to ask if he could date a certain girl and what we thought about it. Now, he is a Christian and so he has a responsibility to date only Christians and not be unequally yoked. This has caused him great consternation and several times, he rebelled and dated non-Christians anyway. At the end of each relationship, he admitted it was better to be alone than to do things his own way and defy G-d's design. FINALLY, he has learned. We taught him this all his life, but in real life, he had to find out for himself that G-d's ways are right, even if they go against our flesh.

We teach our daughters this as well. Our 19 y/o knows about purity in relationships and when she gets married, her Christian husband will be the spiritual authority in their home. This is something we, as parents, should teach our children from a young age. Our other children also know about Christian relationships and how they are in G-d's order.

We, as parents, can only pray that when our children are grown, they will embrace G-d's way and not the ways of the flesh.

this part of the role as mother and woman of God is difficult for my life because my daughter is in the custody of a man who does not believe in God and has no idea what it is to be a good role model for the husband to be in my daugher's life. To top it off I have no example to show her regarding my life....But I have chosen a different walk from the life of addiction and debauchery since she was born and I can only show her of what my life was and what it is now.....I give her what I can, I take her to church with me, we read and study the word together.....but is it going to make a difference? I want her to have all the things I never had. How do I show her how to get them? How do I show her how be a mother and wife properly, especially the wife part? this is a tough role, to be a woman and one to be respected that is for sure.....

[Vickilynn]

this part of the role as mother and woman of God is difficult for my life because my daughter is in the custody of a man who does not believe in God and has no idea what it is to be a good role model for the husband to be in my daugher's life. To top it off I have no example to show her regarding my life

Shalom Jackie,

This is a tough, tough situation and my heart goes out to you. How old is she?

....But I have chosen a different walk from the life of addiction and debauchery since she was born and I can only show her of what my life was and what it is now.....I give her what I can, I take her to church with me, we read and study the word together.....but is it going to make a difference?

YES! This is where trust in the L-rd as your husband and her Father come in. Dedicate her to the L-rd and trust HIM to keep her. You are doing all you can and this is great. You also should know that Jesus loves your daughter. Take her to church, teach her the Word, walk uprightly in front of her, these are the wonderful things you can do! And, Jackie, cut yourself some slack, you can't do it all - Jesus wants to take your burdens.

I want her to have all the things I never had. How do I show her how to get them? How do I show her how be a mother and wife properly, especially the wife part? this is a tough role, to be a woman and one to be respected that is for sure.....

Exactly as you said above - Take her to church, teach the Word and live it in front of her and trust G-d to do the rest!!

[psalmone]

I agree fully that Godly Order ought to establish. May this effect due to merit and genuine strength rather than the eye-service and lip-service that can endure too long in places where integrity is important. may we also be personally challenged in these things primarily. I believe things could be really good if we allow pessimisms to be redeemed toward the things of light.

May God strengthen us in these things.