discussions

[jackie d]

I started to post this earlier, decided not to and saved it instead. I then prayed over this. After much prayer I realize this simply needs to be said. So here goes...

I have children, I am not fooled by temper tantrums and emotional outbursts. I look at the actual situation and do not let the person's emotional display define the situation. Anybody can play the victim card, but it doesnt make them a victim. It is starting to seem like some people are too eager to be a 'victim' and want to point fingers, and as a result, they judge very wrongly the other person's intentions very wrongly.

that's a very good point you've made Emily~Anne. You should never be a fool when it comes to your children. They need you to stay on them like flies on stink. Aren't we fortunate that the people here at worthy aren't our children?

and then there is the fact that people just don't care to hear too, getting to close and personal would be an emotional shipwreck for them. To try to get to know people and care about them would move them beyond a name without a face and make them a real person, and heaven forbid those things happen.......God forbid we become emotionally attached to anyone or care if someone hurts....that's just too much to ask. It's like hearing or seeing a crime being committed against someone but being to afraid to get involved to help. It's much easier not to get involved..this kind of stuff is a perfect example of how desensitized people have become.

[Ddavid from NC]

I have found few people who can have a truly objective discussion. Finding the truth should be the only reason for discussing, not winning the argument. I think many people confuse being a good debater with being right. A debater thinks only how to counter, it doesn't matter about truth. Here we don't need to debate but earnestly seek truth. I have encountered some people here who have differences about issues that I consider being fundamental to good doctrine and good exposition. But I want them feeling free to express themselves because in the discussion I'm looking to learn how they formed their opinion. One sure way to keep things from getting so personal so quick is not to make adamant statements, but ask questions. If you want to reveal error, ask a question they can't answer with their current belief. In intellectual conversation the person asking questions is leading the conversation. Somebody will learn something, you or them.

[jackie d]

I have found few people who can have a truly objective discussion. Finding the truth should be the only reason for discussing, not winning the argument. I think many people confuse being a good debater with being right. A debater thinks only how to counter, it doesn't matter about truth. Here we don't need to debate but earnestly seek truth. I have encountered some people here who have differences about issues that I consider being fundamental to good doctrine and good exposition. But I want them feeling free to express themselves because in the discussion I'm looking to learn how they formed their opinion. One sure way to keep things from getting so personal so quick is not to make adamant statements, but ask questions. If you want to reveal error, ask a question they can't answer with their current belief. In intellectual conversation the person asking questions is leading the conversation. Somebody will learn something, you or them.

so this is a place NOT to get personal or talk about our personal lives? Okay, well then I guess that's where my problem has been....

I'm looking in the wrong place for friends. I'll keep my "self" out of it from now on..thank you Ddavid

[Ddavid from NC]

I have found few people who can have a truly objective discussion. Finding the truth should be the only reason for discussing, not winning the argument. I think many people confuse being a good debater with being right. A debater thinks only how to counter, it doesn't matter about truth. Here we don't need to debate but earnestly seek truth. I have encountered some people here who have differences about issues that I consider being fundamental to good doctrine and good exposition. But I want them feeling free to express themselves because in the discussion I'm looking to learn how they formed their opinion. One sure way to keep things from getting so personal so quick is not to make adamant statements, but ask questions. If you want to reveal error, ask a question they can't answer with their current belief. In intellectual conversation the person asking questions is leading the conversation. Somebody will learn something, you or them.

so this is a place NOT to get personal or talk about our personal lives? Okay, well then I guess that's where my problem has been....

I'm looking in the wrong place for friends. I'll keep my "self" out of it from now on..thank you Ddavid

Hey thanks for the smiley face at the end or I would have to write another apology letter today. I take it you are jesting. But in case not, this is the place to be passionate and share from our personal experiences, but just keep it in perspective. Do you remember that old Warner Brothers cartoon with the sheepdog and the coyote. The episode always began with the two headed to work with their lunch boxes in hand and a smile on their face. The work whistle would blow and the coyote would begin to try and steal a sheep. The Sheepdog would bang the coyote over the head over and over. Finally, late in the work day the sheepdog would get a hold of the coyote by the throat and is about to knock his block off and the 5pm whistle blow. The dog would put the coyote down politely and then they would walk to the clock and punchout and grab their lunch boxes. On the way home they would exchange pleasantres and ask about each other's wives and children. Then finally they would say, Ralph enjoyed it see ya tomorrow...Yeah Bob see ya tomorrow. Great cartoon and a lot of truth in it. Keep things in perspective.

Oh by the way, you misspelled my name it is not "Ddavid" its "dDavid" The truth of the matter it was a typo at my registration I didn't correct!

[chin]

i'm glad you reminded me to think before i post, thank you.

[jackie d]

This has been a good conversation for me at least. I have figured out a very important thing about myself. Using drugs and alcohol starting at the age of 15 and going until I was nearly 35 has emotionally stunted me. So where most people are at the proper emotional maturity they should be because they didn't abuse themselves the way I did, I'm still kinda stuck at about 21 or 22....Now I see..and I always forget this about myself until I am faced with being in the company of people I don't know and that it takes time to get to know people and for them to get to know me.

Well then, I feel better, thanks for talking with me about this you guys. And I'll do my very best not to get to emotional, and I'll try my best to not bring my self into discussion, and I'll try really really hard to believe that when someone tells me that they are speaking to me out of the same kind of love and understanding that Christ would have for me, that they really mean it. AND I mean this, I will try really hard to be just like you guys and not be so...how's that Vickilynn said?....oh yeah, "emo"

LOL!! I'm just a silly little girl with a whole lot a growin' up to do. I truly see how very childish I have been with some of you and I am truly sorry...

[jackie d]

Oh by the way, you misspelled my name it is not "Ddavid" its "dDavid" The truth of the matter it was a typo at my registration I didn't correct!

yeah I realized that and went back and fixed it, and now I see that I had it right the first time and that I hadn't fixed it at all, not only am I 15, I'm dislexic too!!....

[jackie d]

i'm glad you reminded me to think before i post, thank you.

you are welcome. And though I have come to the conclusions about myself and the way I have been lately, I will also remember to think before I post, because I don't ever want to give anyone the impression that their heart is not my first concern when I speak to them.

[Ddavid from NC]

Oh by the way, you misspelled my name it is not "Ddavid" its "dDavid" The truth of the matter it was a typo at my registration I didn't correct!

yeah I realized that and went back and fixed it, and now I see that I had it right the first time and that I hadn't fixed it at all, not only am I 15, I'm dislexic too!!....

One guy told me he couldn't say it without stuttering...I thought that was funny...so I haven't bother to correct it...I don't know if I could anyway...nobody would know me

[jackie d]

Oh by the way, you misspelled my name it is not "Ddavid" its "dDavid" The truth of the matter it was a typo at my registration I didn't correct!

yeah I realized that and went back and fixed it, and now I see that I had it right the first time and that I hadn't fixed it at all, not only am I 15, I'm dislexic too!!....

One guy told me he couldn't say it without stuttering...I thought that was funny...so I haven't bother to correct it...I don't know if I could anyway...nobody would know me

I always say it with a stutter too....LOL

have a blessed evening Ddavid