Have any of you had to cut off Contact with a grown child?

[BFP]

Yes, he is firstborn, and yes I am very aware of generational curses:>) There are definitely some involved on the part of his biodad...alot of old european occultic stuff going on there...but there is nothing I can do about it. I have tried and prayed...thought they were broken at one point but he also had 'visitors' at night...lady in a red dress. Long story...I got tied up in it myself and almost lost my mind. I can't go back there...

For my families sake I have to let the Lord deal with Him and stay out of it:>)

[kat8585]

I'm so sorry to read of your trials with your son. He sounds as if he needs meds, therapy and prayer. A tall order if Canada won't really treat him. Is he a firstborn son? Any awareness of generational curses? I'd check into that and be in a support group if there is one. I have a wonderful Christian friend whose daughter has cut her off, my mother cut me off about a year ago, another friend's mother cut her off a few years ago. I wonder if this is happening more and more. It seems so. The positive side of all this is that breaking a cycle that is so unhealthy can produce positive results. It sounds, though, like your son isn't really able to make good decisions and may not learn much from being cut off. However, you have to protect yourself and the rest of your family and it sounds like you've taken a good stand. Thanks for bringing this before us so we can support you in prayer.

It sounds to me like he needs meds, too. It's a shame if you can't get them in Canada.

[Trusting Jesus]

It's so hard to cut off someone we love, but it sounds to me as if you cannot help him. Do you think you are in any danger from him? He sounds a little unstable. Even though you cut him off you don't have to stop loving him or praying for him. God is still in the miracle business and can help your son.

<>< ><>

Nathele

[His_Own]

bfp, i don't believe cutting off contact with your son is unbiblical. in the OT, you see God commanding parents in similar situations to put their son to death. i'm not at all suggesting that you literally kill your son, but i do believe that cutting off all contact with him is a modern day equivalent. i'm so sorry that you are going through this ordeal. but i will lift your family up in prayer!

In Matthew 18:15-17 it describes an NT cutting off process:

Matthew 18:15 "Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican."

If you have not already, you may want to consider writing a contract which describes acceptable behavior that is mutually agreeable, with consequences. I have found in less severe situations that having a written guideline they helped to create and to which they agreed can help bring some reality into the situation. It could be a "witness" that Matt 18:16 requires. Since he helped create the document, he can't honestly blatantly reject or dismiss it (as 'prejudiced', or that 'they don't understand' or some other such thing which he could use to dismiss and disregard a human witness). It can help point out that they are the ones not abiding by the agreement. That does not mean it stops, but it can bring in a shred of truth into a very dark place. And yes, the agreements should have conditions - if you xxxxx (call screaming after 11PM) then xxxx - (we will not answer your calls for a week/month/whatever.)

You and your family are in my prayers.

Edited March 28, 2008 by His_Own

[Guest Biblicist]

I can offer you God's word and a song...And say I will pray for your son and the situation.

Luke 15

11 Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons.

12 The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.

13 "Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.

14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.

15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs.

16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

17 "When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!

18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.

19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.'

20 So he got up and went to his father.

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21 "The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'

22 "But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate.

24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

Contradiction

by The Kinleys

Joel was her only son

Trouble was his way of having fun

With the wrong crowd

He was heading for kingdom come

What should a mother do

She'll have to let go to get through

If she could she'd send him away for his own good

It's such a contradiction

To love someone enough to walk away

The curse of benediction

Is the pain that just won't go away

La la la la

It's such a contradiction

Penny was just sixteen

Answering someone else's dream

With her child

'Cause they had what she couldn't provide

What should a mother do

She had to let go to get through

If she could she wouldn't do what's for his own good

It's such a contradiction

To love someone enough to walk away

The curse of benediction

Is the pain that just won't go away

La la la la

It's such a contradiction

[BFP]

Thank You all for your prayers:>) Medication is something that I always hoped would help him but we have tried quite a few and they all seem to send him into one form of psychosis or another. It wasn't worth trying anymore:>) Much more difficult on meds than off...

Apperently he was recently told by a psychologist that he has a personality disorder...he didn't tell me what. Different psychs say different things...no formal diagnoses beyond ADHD as a child, oh, and a misdiagnoses of Tourette syndrome. I personally feel that he is pure and simply a psychopath...and there is no help or meds for that.

I pretty much just needed a little agreement about the "no contact" idea. I didn't want to do that if it was wrong. Thanks to all the biblical references form you I realize that I have every right to do just that...no contact.

Thank you:>)

[Honeybee88]

[patricia1]

My sister is like my daughter. nine years difference. I took care of her and she lived with me ....It hurts ...it hurts....it hurts. It needed to be done though. My best friend had to do this with her daughter...the horrific devestation of the soul, the wondering constantly about everything in regards to her daughter from did she(the mother) do anything wrong as they grew up to What in the world did I do to deserve this today. Healing does happen and God/ Jesus grant you His peace... all of you...

[BFP]

I hear you Patricia...and thanks

[Guest]