Hubby and I Aren't Speaking

[Treasure]

Hi Mathy Boy have I been there. I used to get angry and just couldn't stand to look at my husband so I'd leave, slam the door behind me, get in my car and drive. No idea where I was going but I'd drive and I'd pray. I remember one time specifically asking God "how can You love him?" I was certain that God was tapping His foot angrily just like I was. I was right after all. God spoke so clearly to me in the midst of my ranting......."the same way that I love you". That was a turning point in my marriage. I highly recommend that you read Power of a Praying Wife (link)by stormie Omartian. I had no idea how far off base I was in my role as a wife until I read this.

I'm not saying that you do have a pride issue but I learned that I certainly did and let me tell ya, the process of getting rid of it is like swallowing glass but your marriage is worth it. By the grace of God I've been married for almost 21 years (5 of them happy) and am looking forward to another 21 at least.

I don't want to take over your thread but there is so much more I could say. Feel free to pm me if you wanna talk. I'll try to remember to check back in this thread also. Know that I'm praying for you and your hubby.

[GloryToGod!]

Hi Mathy Boy have I been there. I used to get angry and just couldn't stand to look at my husband so I'd leave, slam the door behind me, get in my car and drive. No idea where I was going but I'd drive and I'd pray. I remember one time specifically asking God "how can You love him?" I was certain that God was tapping His foot angrily just like I was. I was right after all. God spoke so clearly to me in the midst of my ranting......."the same way that I love you". That was a turning point in my marriage. I highly recommend that you read Power of a Praying Wife (link)by stormie Omartian. I had no idea how far off base I was in my role as a wife until I read this.

I'm not saying that you do have a pride issue but I learned that I certainly did and let me tell ya, the process of getting rid of it is like swallowing glass but your marriage is worth it. By the grace of God I've been married for almost 21 years (5 of them happy) and am looking forward to another 21 at least.

I don't want to take over your thread but there is so much more I could say. Feel free to pm me if you wanna talk. I'll try to remember to check back in this thread also. Know that I'm praying for you and your hubby.

I heaartily reccomend this book

[mathqueen]

i come wandering in humming "morning has broken...."

are you two speaking yet?

He had to go to work early this morning before I was up, but I did get a text message from him saying we can talk after he gets home from the gym (after work). We shall see. And I know this will definitely be ok. We've been married a long time and have had worst fights than this!!

Godslove, thanks so much for your post. Even though you aren't married, your post was GREAT and had wonderful words of wisdom that fit my situation very well.

[mathqueen]

I highly recommend that you read Power of a Praying Wife (link)by stormie Omartian. I had no idea how far off base I was in my role as a wife until I read this.

Yeah yeah, I have it. Read it numerous times but am currently still in a bit of pout-mode. God will help me out of it before hubby gets home from work though. *sigh* I am a hard case. Not as difficult as HUBBY though.

Thanks for your prayers my friend. I'm/God's working on my pride/stubborn issue!!

[Treasure]

The most important thing is that you're working on it

[Kansasdad]

Hope this helps a little.

The world tells us a marriage should be 50/50. Well news flash it will never be 50/50. The reason is because we measure it differently. What you consider to be his 50% is of about 20% importance to him and what he considers 50% from you is about 5% importance to you. ( sorry male bias showing) To really make it work you need to give 100% and expect 0 and he needs to do the same. Your focus then becomes on him and your only hope for yourself is to completely, 100%, rely on God to take care of your needs through your husband.

Now have you ever heard Oprah say something like that

God Bless,

K.D.

[mathqueen]

Hope this helps a little.

The world tells us a marriage should be 50/50. Well news flash it will never be 50/50. The reason is because we measure it differently. What you consider to be his 50% is of about 20% importance to him and what he considers 50% from you is about 5% importance to you. ( sorry male bias showing) To really make it work you need to give 100% and expect 0 and he needs to do the same. Your focus then becomes on him and your only hope for yourself is to completely, 100%, rely on God to take care of your needs through your husband.

Now have you ever heard Oprah say something like that

God Bless,

K.D.

Great advice. Thank you.

I can't believe how helpful you all have been and what wonderful wisdom you are blessing me with.

[mathqueen]

He's on his way home and will be here in a few minutes. I would appreciate any prayer. Thanks worthy friends.

[artsylady]

Then I played a card that was a little extra, if you know what I mean.

I don't know what that means at all. Sorry.

Apologize sincerely for what you did wrong, leave it alone and pray for him and yourself - that God will show you how to do things better and that God will show you what he needs.

Hopefully his heart will soften when he sees your sincere apology and perhaps only then will he look at his own wrong doing. If not, keep praying for him and for you. You can't change him, only yourself, so see how God can work on you.

And take heart, it's not the end of the world. Thank God for this experience - even though you don't want to - knowing it's a period of growth, as scripture says.

One of my favorites for you.

Romans 5:3-5 (New International Version)

New International Version (NIV)

Copyright

[hr.jr.]

We had a stupid fight and he was being a ROYAL jerk. Then I played a card that was a little extra, if you know what I mean. Now I'm upstairs and he's downstairs, and we're not speaking. He doesn't want to "see me, hear me, or talk to me" for now. Part of me could care less. The other part wants to make up. But I know if I go down there and try to do so, one thing will happen: I will not a get a gracious response and I WILL MAKE IT WORSE. I'm outstanding at doing that. So what do I do?

When you peel away the outward masking, all marital disputes are over selfishness. People have to let self die if they wish to have a happy marriage. If both parties shift the focus away from "me" and onto "us," the fight will be over. I find it hard to believe that couples will fight over things that are trivial. The damage done from these trivial fights is permanent. Add enough permanent damage, and the relationship is destroyed. Me and my wife disagree, but through effective communication, we never fight or get mad at each other. Most women do not make an effort to understand how men think. Most men are incapable of understanding how women think. Effective communication can bridge that gap. There are many things that my wife does that I honestly think are utterly Stupid. They are important to her, so they are OK with me. I do not have to understand it to accept it. When we first started dating, she wanted to argue about something. We sat down and I told her plainly, I will not argue with you. I will discuss things with you. We can talk about something as long as you want to. However, the goal must be to resolve the problem. The conversation will not turn to attempts to hurt or demean each other. If your goal is to solve a problem, we will talk ten hours straght if you want to. However, the minute the conversation turns to laying blame, finding fault, and in general attempt to hurt and cause emotional response; the conversation is over. That was the first and last arguement we had. It is absolutely worthless to drag up "you did this that and the other," and I will never let you forget it. Many people do not want to solve a problem, they want to hurt the person they are angry at. They attempt to hurt, and then they wonder why the person they hurt is so mad at them. If you try to provoke a response, do not be surprised when you get it.