Question

[nebula]

Chiquita-

I've found that one of the hardest things we have to accept in this life is that there are things we will never know nor understand . . . especially when it comes to pain and tragedy.

As I read through the Scriptures, I do see this common theme - men and women crying out to the Lord yet not getting the answer they desired, either.

Why did Abraham and Sarah have to wait decades for the Lord's promise of a son to be fulfilled?

Why was Joseph sold into slavery, wrongly accused, and spent years in prison?

Why did the Israelites in Egypt who first cried out to the Lord for deliverance never live to see the deliverer finally come? (Did they know God answered their prayer - it just took time for the Answer to be prepared for his mission?)

Why did David have to live in hiding from King Saul, his own father-in-law?

The list can go on.

But in all things we see that we are called to worship the Lord through our trials and tears and pains and tribulations and discouragements and heartaches.

I know this is easy to acknowledge with your head, but hard to receive in your heart. I know because I have struggled with this.

I shared about it here in the Praises forum, but the moment I was able to thank the Lord from my heart for the pain in my life (after He gave me an understanding of how the pain worked as His refining fire in my life), I was finally delivered from the spirit of death that held me in chains for most of my life (manifested as chronic depression).

It truly is a hard thing to submit your struggle with pain to the Lord this way, but it does lead to freedom and peace.

Edited May 21, 2008 by nebula

[warnerfranklin]

I have been debating with this question for quite some time now. If God is all powerful (which to my knowledge is more powerful than my lil brain can wrap around) then why can't He answer certain prayers.

See, when I was young, my mother was an abusive alcoholic. Her 4 children all have a variety of psychological issues because of it. But I remember we used (her 4 kids) pray and pray for God to make her stop either drinking so heavily, stop drinking period, or just stop the abuse. She never did stop drinking but shes not abusive to anyone anymore. She goes to sleep at 10 30 where before she'd be up wrecking havoc until 4a.m. It's just too late. We are all adults now and it doesn't matter that shes changed now, the damage is done. So my question here is, if He is all powerful, why didn't He do this before when we were all suffering so much b/c of her? When we were kids and living with her? I understand all the free will stuff but the thing is, she still drinks and its her will to do so as she hasn't sought treatment but she's very different now. Why couldn't she have changed when we were kids? I remember she'd come home with a 24 pack and we'd all be hurrying up and making plans to spend the night at friend's houses to avoid the abuse. But sometimes she'd tell us we couldn't go anywhere b/c she had to "talk to us", which we knew meant she had to emotionally and mentally abuse us. "Stupid, losers, bimbos", and other words that are curse words. Then she'd sometimes start with the psychical abuse. It wasn't so much that it hurt physically, it was how she did it like tying us up to poles in the basement while she drank and smoked. She alienated all of her relatives that could've help us like her sisters, brothers, and grandparents. She'd tell them to stay away from her kids. She'd tell us that if we got close to them they would just hurt us like they'd hurt her. Come to discover later on that she was the oldest of her siblings and that she used to do the same to them. On top of it, she was a huge liar. She drank so much she'd twist everything up in her head so that she wouldn't feel guilty and place the blame on everyone else.

She doesn't remember the abuse she did to us or her siblings. See, there comes a time when you black out after drinking so much you can conveniently forget. She claims, "my drinking never hurt anybody!!!". God help me but I want to shake her violently when she says that... I have to remind myself that God commands love and forgiveness and then I change the conversation. Its just useless if she doesn't remember and the damage is DONE. Only one of us got to graduate from H.s., one got pregnant at 16, one became a drug dealer, and the other one almost went nuts herself (me). She denied me of going to college when I was 19. She said no, she wasn't going to let me go to. She said it was too expensive so without her financial aid (W-2 s) I couldn't go. I did nothing with my life except drink and get into things that I had no business in. After all that abuse, I STILL had ambition and she killed that too.

I have a very strong faith NOW but my question is, where was He then??? Why didn't He do something...ANYTHING to stop her??? Was it all her??? Was she really that selfish??? Was God tugging at her heart to stop and she shushed Him off b/c she didn't care that much about us??? Can someone behave that way and never ask God for forgiveness and still get into heaven??? I blame her for everything that went wrong in my life because the decisions I made, I made to get away from her, b/c of her abuse, and because of her neglect. She ruined the beginning of my life.

I know I sound bitter but its because when I think about it, it still hurts.

One of the apostles tell us, "All things work for the good of the glory of those who serve Him." He did not say that all things are good.

Peter tells us in I Peter 5:8-11 Be self controlled and alert for the devil prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of suffering.

Christ tells us in Revelations 2:10-11 Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer . I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you.... Be faithful to the point of death and I will give you a crown of life. He who has an ear let him hear what the Spirit of the Lord says, He who overcomes will not be hurt by the second death.

[warnerfranklin]

One of the apostles tell us, "All things work for the good of the glory of those who serve Him." He did not say that all things are good.

Peter tells us in I Peter 5:8-11 Be self controlled and alert for the devil prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of suffering.

Christ tells us in Revelations 2:10-11 Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you.... Be faithful to the point of death and I will give you a crown of life. He who has an ear let him hear what the Spirit of the Lord says, He who overcomes will not be hurt by the second death.

Continuing my thought as the computer hickupped on me....

When I was growing up I had a family life that was, in many ways, similar to your own. I am sorry for your suffering and the tragic events the followed in the wake of your mother's poor decisions.

I used to ask the same questions you did, if God is so loving and all powerful, where was he in the midst of my suffering.

Why didn't he answer my prayers?

Where were the shining lights and avenging angles?

"In this life you will have trouble..." Christ warned us. It was true in the days that the Israelites where in Egypt. It was true in the time of the Judges and prophets. It was true in the time of the early church and it is true today around the world.

The choice I was left with after all the abuse was not that I hurt (because sometime, even today, I still do) and will continue to do so, but what am I going to do with my experiences to further our Lord's Kingdom.

I found that my experiences placed me in a position where I could help others who had gone through similar circumstances, but could not yet find a way out.

I found that my experience taught me that my joy, strength, and happiness did not depend upon other people but were found soley in the Lord.

I found, that the words in Isaiah 63:1-3 were especially true: The spirit of the sovereign Lord is upon me, because He has annoited me to preach the good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom to the capitives and the release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of the vengence of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and to provide for all who grieve in Zion.

God did not forget about me even in my darkest days. God has not forgotten about you and your family. But you must remember we live in a world that is ruled by Satan (see Ephesians 6:11-12) and it is with that system that we are at war. Christ tells us that our enemy is a liar, a thief, and a murder. Your own experiences can testify to that. When God saved us from our circumstances that was a victory against our enemy - a victory he has not forgotten. A victory he wants to rob you of by reminding you of all the pain, by lying to you about our Father not being there, by murdering your relationship and victory in Christ Jesus.

I know it is hard, but you must forgive your mother. You must tell her personally that you forgive her and that because of Christ you love her still.

If your mother does not change you should put some distance between you and her. It is still possible to go to school. There are many opportunities out there for you to get the education you want. One option is the military (I joined the air force when I was younger). They provide paid job training and offer a great educational package. But aside from that look around and do some research. Talk to the counselors at your school as they should be able to point you in the right direction.

My prayers and thoughts are with you this day.

[irishcowboy]

God gave us free will, He gave us the privilege to make choices, good, bad or other.

the original choice to sin escalated until we are in this place today. we have chosen sin over righteousness, and thus we also reap the rewards as such, for a sinful nature brings on death.....

this does not mean each and every sin is rewarded to the one that deserves it, but what goes around, comes around.....

I do believe that the sins of the parents can be inherent in the children, not inherited, but instilled... you see, we all have to be responsible for our own actions as well as our inactions..... we can choose to break the cycle of abuse, as well as sin....

we also have to remember that the rain falls on the just and the unjust alike......

here is something to think about also.......

A young man comes up to Christ and ask him, What is it I need to do to get into Heaven?

Christ told him he needed to keep the commandments, and the young man said All these i have kept since my youth....

Christ then told him that he lacked, and said he needed to sell all he had and give it tothe poor.... the man was very sad, for he was very wealthy......

was it his wealth that is keeping him out of heaven? maybe, or maybe because there is more then one way to murder some one, such as allowing them to starve.... are the poor the ones that are sinful being they are the ones suffering and starving? or is it the rich man being selfish with the means God has blessed him with.....

whos sin was it that caused the man to be blind from birth? the parents? or his? Christ said neither..... although his blindness stemmed from sin.....

abuse is a sin of selfishness, wanting ones own way.... unfortunately sin affects others then just the one committing the sin, and can be carried from generation to generation.... not everything that happens can be directly linked to a specific sin, but all bad things do stem from sin in one way or another...... there is only one way to stop these things from happening, and that is to

REPENT

and turn back towardsthe Lord, seeking the Lord.... and following/keeping His commandments....

Christ never said that being a True Christian would be easy..... if we have not been under attack by satan a couple times aday, while serving the Lord, maybe we need to step back and see where we are in our walk..... do we feel we are doing alright and staying in the same place? or are we just being deceived and actually sliding backwards where we are no longer a threat to satan? or are we actually advancing towards God and this is where satan does not want us.... satan would like it if we thought we were staying in one place... you know, growing stagnantb and luke warm......

if we are just luke warm, we also have no protection..... for there are only to statuses for God, one going towards God, the other going away from God....

another reason for trials and tribulations is that we are actually going the wrong way, and God is trying to get us back on the right path.... and until we tell God to lay off, then He will continue calling us..... once we tell Him to stop bugging us, then He will back off and allow you to do what ever it is you like......

i can keep on, but it is bed time.... and tomorrow is a time we get the privilege of worshipping with other brothers and sisters..... and giving back to the Lord.....

Blessings all....

mike