Does the Spouse Come First? No Matter What?

[Khristeeanos]

This is the verse that came to mind for me.

1 Timothy 5:7-8

7Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame. 8If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

[soshine]

I've heard it said that ones spouse is suppose to come first above all things... What about in front of and before children? What is someone has a child and remarries - should the new spouse now have precedence over the child? Should a man or woman cling to thier spouse and regard the feelings of their spouse above thier child?

Please give me your thoughts, and what you think that

Dear Metadyjital

I found myself scratching my head, so to speak, at this question. I've been married 27 years, and the last few years have been the best. I don't know who told you that, but my spouse does not come first above all things. Jesus comes first above all things. If you love your wife, husband, children, or even yourself above God, God says you are not worthy of Him. If you have a child, and re-marry, the weakest member is the one who gets the most attention, and that would be the child. God forbid that I should love my wife above Him, or reckon that I can properly love anyone without Him.

Yours in Christ

soshine

[Xan]

I've heard it said that ones spouse is suppose to come first above all things... What about in front of and before children? What is someone has a child and remarries - should the new spouse now have precedence over the child? Should a man or woman cling to thier spouse and regard the feelings of their spouse above thier child?

Please give me your thoughts, and what you think that

Dear Metadyjital

I found myself scratching my head, so to speak, at this question. I've been married 27 years, and the last few years have been the best. I don't know who told you that, but my spouse does not come first above all things. Jesus comes first above all things. If you love your wife, husband, children, or even yourself above God, God says you are not worthy of Him. If you have a child, and re-marry, the weakest member is the one who gets the most attention, and that would be the child. God forbid that I should love my wife above Him, or reckon that I can properly love anyone without Him.

Yours in Christ

soshine

Metadyjital was talking about putting a spouse above the children, not above God. However, you are right. God comes first in all things.

[Smalcald]

Well I go back to the fact that in a healthy marriage both parents want what is best for their kids and work for that benefit equally and together, both love the kids and would BOTH give their life home property and all that they have for their kids. Without that love from one of the marriage partners you are going to have big problems. Kids need to be loved by both of their parents, not in some sort of sick competition for the affection of one of the parents.

I don't really know what to say about broken families and remarriage, often in my opinion it would be better to wait for all of the school aged kids to be out of the home until remarriage.

But if God forbid my wife ever died and I did re-marry it would have to be really really agreed upon how we would raise the children prior to marriage, but the fact is the love I have for our children would never be trumped by a romantic love I would ever have for some other women who is not their mother. Given that and given that I know that about myself, it would probably be best that I never remarry if I am in that situation!

[methinkshe]

Read about David, Nabal and Abigail in 1 Samuel 25 and let the Holy Spirit instruct you and guide you into all truth.

[Smalcald]

Yes thanks I enjoy that account.

Samual was given to the Lord as an answer to prayer. But I am trying to figure out how this fits our discussion?

[Xan]

Yes thanks I enjoy that account.

Samual was given to the Lord as an answer to prayer. But I am trying to figure out how this fits our discussion?

I think methinkshe's talking about Abigail, not Samuel. I would have to go back and re-read that ch in Samuel, but I think that is the story of the woman whose husband plotted to kill or overthrow King David, and she informed the king. After her husband died, King David married her. She had children through her first husband. I could be completely wrong since I haven't looked it up, yet.

[Smalcald]

Thanks I bet your correct.

I hope people don't think I am saying that it is impossible or not right to remarry with kids.

I just know that I would have a hard time with loving someone else not the mother of my children as strong as I love my children. I realize that would be unfair in a marraige, thus I would not be able to handle remarriage with kids but I think many people can.

[methinkshe]

Yes thanks I enjoy that account.

Samual was given to the Lord as an answer to prayer. But I am trying to figure out how this fits our discussion?

I think methinkshe's talking about Abigail, not Samuel. I would have to go back and re-read that ch in Samuel, but I think that is the story of the woman whose husband plotted to kill or overthrow King David, and she informed the king. After her husband died, King David married her. She had children through her first husband. I could be completely wrong since I haven't looked it up, yet.

Yes, that's right. The account of David and Nabal and Abigail is found in chapter 25 of the First Book of Samuel.

Sometimes there aren't yes/no answers to questions like the one posed in the thread title. This account of Abigail and her husband Nabal describes an instance when the right thing for Abigail to do was NOT to put her spouse first.

Perhaps the best answer is: ".........whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

As far as I can tell, invidual circumstances will require different responses at different times, but always the best reponse is the one that is done for the glory of God. And we can trust the Holy Spirit to guide us concerning what does or does not glorify God.

[Massorite]

I've heard it said that ones spouse is suppose to come first above all things... What about in front of and before children? What is someone has a child and remarries - should the new spouse now have precedence over the child? Should a man or woman cling to their spouse and regard the feelings of their spouse above their child?

Please give me your thoughts, and what you think that

Yes your spouse be it your first, second or third always comes first and foremost before your children. If your commitment to your spouse was made under the presents of God your flesh has become one. Spiritually speaking your spirits are also meshed together as one. The flesh and spirit of your children is separated from yours as well as their life. But the life of your wife is also your life.