Internet Dating sites for Christians.....

[speckles]

I would be glad for the Chrisitian person who didn't date me before I became a beliver because I had a different rational. I was not a bad person per say but didnt know that the Devil was manipulating me and I can see what burden it would be to a christian who is looking to build a relationship. God was working on me, like he is working on all non-belivered. Would you move into a house that is still under construction? No way!! And certainly not without God's approval first!

But if you could, would you not help in the construction of that house?

You don't have to date someone to witness to them. In fact, witnessing while dating confuses issues.

[LadyRaven]

Shunned, no. Not considered as a spouse...definitely. Yanno, the problem isn't taking another person out to eat or going to the movies together. Or even sitting in the shade and reading each other's poetry. Those things are fine in and of themselves. But you have to consider, if you are a believer, if there is a Christian view of dating.

You'll have to excuse me, I'm kinda new to this "christian only" thing.

I didn't know that christians married after the first date.

IMO, since we have a choice in the matter, that would not be wise. You cannot know anyone's character after one date. However, the fact that one is dating indicates that one is seeking a marriage partner, that is the only legitimate reason for paring up/off in the first place. Ergo, a Christian is seeking to be married from BEFORE the first date.

I thought there was a time for each individual to get to know one another. ( most couples do this in the secular world )

The fact that secular people do this is irrelevant. But I am in favour of getting to know one another.

My point is that as we do so, we are seeking a mate, and ONLY a mate. You are seeking marriage, the only question to be answered is...is this person the one I should marry? The second you determine, or they determine, that a marriage is not happening between the two of you, dating is not an option any more.

You can be friends, you can have all sorts of friends if you like of either sex. But you do not date these people, flirt with them or mislead them into thinking they could ever be your mate. And you do not place yourself in a place where you could fall for someone who is not an acceptable mate.

Here's my thinking, ( silly me ) that somewhere in the courtship the believer would be sharing the "good news" about our Lord and Savior and that just maybe, the non-believer would be drawn to the truth.

If the unbeliever is to be saved, he or she will be regardless of whether or not you date them. God saves, we dont. It's so much less complicated emotionally if you are friends and not courting.

Missionary dating is a mistake, and IMO a sin because you are lying to the person you are dating. When you date you are saying "I am interested in you, just the way you are, and at this moment in time I believe that we might be compatible for marriage." This sentence is a lie if you are dating an unbeliever. You two are not compatible for marriage and will not be until that other person changes. Not just this, but you KNOW that already. If you date someone you dont KNOW is an unbeliever, and you find out, that is different, but if you know from the start...you are leading them astray.

Or worse, you could be manipulating them. "I see that you care for me, so I will use that feeling to introduce you to an idea that you may not like. Your acceptance or rejection of it will determine whether or not you will be allowed to continue to care for me." In the end we are forbidden to marry outside the Lord, so, in the end, if they do not come to Christ we would have to break up with them. They might do so for us, saying we were attempting to make them something they were not, but if they want to marry us, we will be forced to break their heart.

Or you could be setting yourself up for deception. "I see that this is important to you, it isn't to me but I will be whatever you want so you will love me" A few years into the marriage you discover you are unequally yoked and they refuse to allow your child to be taught the truth, then what?

I was kinda thinking along these lines.

Luke 6

31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.

32

[Guest]

I Love You Dear

But......

He that believeth on him is not condemned:

but he that believeth not is condemned already,

because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God John 3:18

So......

Kiss Me You Fool

[Guest man]

I would be glad for the Chrisitian person who didn't date me before I became a beliver because I had a different rational. I was not a bad person per say but didnt know that the Devil was manipulating me and I can see what burden it would be to a christian who is looking to build a relationship. God was working on me, like he is working on all non-belivered. Would you move into a house that is still under construction? No way!! And certainly not without God's approval first!

But if you could, would you not help in the construction of that house?

You don't have to date someone to witness to them. In fact, witnessing while dating confuses issues.

Did you know you can witness to someone without actually talking about God?

[speckles]

I would be glad for the Chrisitian person who didn't date me before I became a beliver because I had a different rational. I was not a bad person per say but didnt know that the Devil was manipulating me and I can see what burden it would be to a christian who is looking to build a relationship. God was working on me, like he is working on all non-belivered. Would you move into a house that is still under construction? No way!! And certainly not without God's approval first!

But if you could, would you not help in the construction of that house?

You don't have to date someone to witness to them. In fact, witnessing while dating confuses issues.

Did you know you can witness to someone without actually talking about God?

And just how long would one plan on not speaking about God so that his/her sig other could find the truth?

Well, I dare say that if you are in a relationship with someone who is not a believer and you dont mention it...you're not doing your duty to them as someone you supposedly care about.

I have plenty of friends who are not believers. Some of them are male. We talk on occasion and they watch me and ask questions. They know where I stand and none of us are even on a relational level where I would have considered marriage before I got saved, much less afterwards. Why would you withhold that from someone you cared about enough to date? Honestly, even as a brother in the lord I would never date someone who would not share what God was doing in their lives.

[Guest man]

You do no good by lying to the unbeliever by treating them as if they are already saved.

Who said anything about lying?

Who said anything about treating them as if they were already saved?

You talk about a lot of lying taking place. Where's that coming from? That's not me.....I don't have to lie to anyone.

This notion that christians can only hang with christians is just so wrong.

Where would we be if Christ looked down His nose at the non-believer?

People wonder why the world is in the shape it is today.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have a question for you.

When 2 christians date, does that automatically mean they're gonna get married?

[Guest man]

And just how long would one plan on not speaking about God so that his/her sig other could find the truth?

I'm not saying you should try and deceive someone into thinking you're not a believer. But you don't have beat them over the head with the bible everytime you're together.

I'm a believer, but I have other interests besides that. I have hobbies, I have other likes and dislikes. No doubt they will too.

Or do you believe that since they don't believe in God, they're gonna sit around and talk about the devil all day?

[Guest man]

If you are angry at some specific Christian or Christians for something they've said or done to you, please take that up with them and not attack people here.

I'm not attacking anyone here. I'm asking questions and I would like to know why.

No one has done anything to me personally, it's an attitude I see. And that attitude I see is "We as christians are better than they are". And no, not everyone has that attitude, and I'm not pointing fingers at any one person or group.

But I would like to know why, and have it make some kind of sense, is it so bad and evil to have a boyfriend or girlfriend who is a non-believer?

As I've stated before, not all non-believers are evil God rejecting pagans. Some people just don't know who Christ is. No ones ever took the time to explain it to them. If they don't know about Christ through no fault of their own, what does that say about us? We should at least give them a chance to make a decision before we condemn them.

You very well know the answer to your last question. Why ask it? Why not just make the point you want to make?

I ask that question because this was stated.

we are seeking a mate, and ONLY a mate.

What if that person you see as a God rejecting non-believer is sitting on the fence, weighing his/her options? What if someone had planted some seeds in that person and all they needed was just a little more watering? But the christian only sees that he/she is a pagan and not worth their time, so the non-believer continues to remain in that lost state, searching.

I don't understand this christian only thing. I really don't.

If Christ had that attitude, there wouldn't be one christian on this planet.

[Guest]

I Found This To Be An Interesting Take

And I Agree With His Conclusion.

I don't know how it could be clearer. Marriage is a sacred bond between two individuals. Even if one is an unbeliever, this in and of itself does NOT change the nature of this sacred relationship. In circumstances where a Christian is married to an unbeliever it is the responsibility of the Christian to work that much more diligently to profess Christ in word and deed, in every action and attitude, prayerfully "walking in the light" (1 John 1:7) with the desire to lead their spouse to Christ.

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

1 John 1:7

And Here Is Mike And Kathy

[MorningGlory]

Unless he says "take this person" its useless to do anything else.

And how would this happen?

If HE wants to make you aware of something, there is no question you will know. The LORD who simply spoke this world into existence is not limited that He can't do something as simple as communicate directly with you.

I don't think I've ever heard this simple truth put forth more clearly, Blein. We would all do well to remember that the Lord of the universe is always in control.