Unholy Union?

[Openly Curious]

I see well at least you both love one another and have learned to stay out of arm's swing of one another tee hee I am just kidding with ya none just kidding

OC

[Emily~Anne]

I have to give up nagging????

[None]

Yes you do, Emily Anne, and just when we perfected the art of it.

[LadyRaven]

I am married to an unbeliever. He believes in 'a' God, however doesn't go to church or read the Bible, etc. I was saved about 5 yrs ago, and there have been instances where I have been told I'm no fun anymore, that I get 'bent out of shape' because I am trying to teach my son to live a moral life, etc. My spouse does things that I really don't want him to do, because I believe that even if I am trying to live right, becasue of my hubby's actions we aren't being blessed in certain ways. So yes, we are 'unequally yoked.' There have been may times I have almost said "I don't want this or that in this house" but I know that if I did that he would leave, or there would be much tension. So then a believer may wonder if they are 'compromising' to keep peace, and how God may look upon that. Its a tough road to be on.

My husband claims to believe in Jesus but hates when I even mention His name in front of him. The only time my husband says the name Jesus is in cursing. Just because someone claims to believe does not mean, in any way, that they do. He was baptised catholic and it's what his mom wants to hear from his lips, so he says it to please her, NOT because it's true.

It's a very unfortunate situation, as believers, to place ourselves in but we have to make the best of it, as I'm sure you know.

13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife...

Would't that then make the wife the "head of the home" being the one directly under God's rule in their home?

I'm still a little unclear on all of this leadership arguement that varies so much around here as far as man vs woman goes.

I know what God tells me and that's that, in a Christian home, where BOTH man and woman believe in God, the woman can rest her submission onto her husband and "question the spirits" when being instructed by said husband.

Women being naturally submissive by nature in the first place.

I believe men and women are judged seperately on our "day", not together. Jesus said, "like the angels...".

So if the husband is "sanctified" through the wife, how can the wife "submit" to a nonbeliever who does not consider himself under God? She is to consider her husband under God through herself but the husband denies this? then wants her submission?which goes against God's Word? It's very confusing.

The sanctification through the wife does not imply any leadership other than being an example of true christianity. It is a covenant term indicating that while the husband is not a believer the home is holy to God in covenant.

[None]

The sanctification through the wife does not imply any leadership other than being an example of true christianity.

That's what I believe as well.

My whole point in all of this is, I don't believe a wife SHOULD obey a husband who's Lord is not Jesus. She wants to, at least most of us long to, but her submission should be towards Jesus only, until the husband recieves Him as Lord also.

[Openly Curious]

'LadyRaven'

The sanctification through the wife does not imply any leadership other than being an example of true christianity. It is a covenant term indicating that while the husband is not a believer the home is holy to God in covenant.

My perspective on this is that the husband is the head of the home whether he is saved or not. But when it comes to leadership in spiritual matters of course the unbelieving husband is not qualified to lead in the Lord so the believing wife has to follow God on her own. And as the believing wife follows God she is setting herself apart or sanctifying herself to God's use and because a husband and wife are one bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh then God see's her as being clean in her body which is the temple of the Lord.

Now as far as in worldly matters things that do not pertain to christianity or spiritual leadership I think the believing wife would be doing what is right to follow her husbands lead in those matters as long as they were not sinful and wrong things to be doing according to the word as that would fall back under the believing wife not following the unbelieving husband spiritually. Because when it comes to spiritual matters she has to stay seperated unto God sanctified for the master's use.

But in the natural things as long as it is not leading into sinful practices I think it would be a good christian witness if she obeyed her husband. But in spiritual leadership absolutely not as the blind leading the blind both will fall in the ditch for sure.

just some thoughts for consideration.

OC

[None]

The really great thing about our loving and caring God is, He doesn't allow situations of suffering for His children for long and when a naturally submissive wife loves the Lord with all her heart, God makes even her enemies to live at peace with her. I take much comfort in that.

Proverbs 16:7

7)When a man's[woman's] ways please the LORD,

he maketh even his[her] enemies to be at peace with him[her].

[Openly Curious]

The really great thing about our loving and caring God is, He doesn't allow situations of suffering for His children for long and when a naturally submissive wife loves the Lord with all her heart, God makes even her enemies to live at peace with her. I take much comfort in that.

Proverbs 16:7

7)When a man's[woman's] ways please the LORD,

he maketh even his[her] enemies to be at peace with him[her].

"Right On"

oc

[Phil.2:12]

There are many stories in the bible regarding relationships between a man and a woman with both scenarios of one being a believer in our Lord Jesus and the other mate not being.

There are many doctrines of men running around regarding the same subject matter. Some helpful, some harmful.

Of course, the new testament accounts for our minds being on our relationships "in the flesh" and having "trouble in the flesh" if we are to be married people, and not single and devoted soley to Jesus without a fleshly partner.

My topic wishes others views on this:

A man & woman wish to marry.

One is born-again, the other believes in "God" being raised Catholic, but has left that church and does not practice at all, and has not experienced being born-again.

Several questions enter my mind:

1) Would God bless such a union.

2) Would God honor the born-again's prayers for the lost Catholic to become born-again.

3) Does it say specifically anywhere in the bible that this marriage should not occur? If so, Book & Verse.

4) Does God place two people together for the benefit of another (being the lost partner).

All feedback appreciated.

New to this bulletin board, and happy to talk with other believers.

Zuriel (Carol) Age 50

Born-again since 1979

My eldest daughter is in exactly that kind of a marriage. She is a dedicated servant of Jesus and her husband is lost. They have been married now for 23 years and have 4 adorable children, the eldest married and now has a son, my great-grandson. Their third child just graduated from high school. These children have had a good upbringing in part because, as young children, their mother required them to attend at least one service on Sunday. Three of the children are saved while the fourth child is leaning rather strongly in that direction. My daughter's husband has been somewhat supportive over the years, but that support did come with a price tag.

At the beginning of their marriage, my son-in-law made it clear that he did not like the fact that his wife was as active in the church as she was. To him, an occasional visit to a church would be fine, but the constant attendance was grating on him. My daughter made it very clear to him that she would not give up her church activities for him. The result was that many comprises were made down through the years to keep peace and harmony in the home. My daughter walked a fine line (like a high wire act with no net) for years, but her diligence and persistence paid off. Had she been a less dedicated Christian when she married, she would not now be an active dedicated Christian.

Yes, it is possible for a believer and a non-believer to be in a union that will produce godly children, but it is by no means an easy thing to do and many a child of God will not have the spiritual maturity to succeed when yolked with an unbeliever.

The price is high for a believer non-believer union, so those contemplating such a union must carefully count the cost.

[FighterforJC]

There are many stories in the bible regarding relationships between a man and a woman with both scenarios of one being a believer in our Lord Jesus and the other mate not being.

There are many doctrines of men running around regarding the same subject matter. Some helpful, some harmful.

Of course, the new testament accounts for our minds being on our relationships "in the flesh" and having "trouble in the flesh" if we are to be married people, and not single and devoted soley to Jesus without a fleshly partner.

My topic wishes others views on this:

A man & woman wish to marry.

One is born-again, the other believes in "God" being raised Catholic, but has left that church and does not practice at all, and has not experienced being born-again.

Several questions enter my mind:

1) Would God bless such a union.

2) Would God honor the born-again's prayers for the lost Catholic to become born-again.

3) Does it say specifically anywhere in the bible that this marriage should not occur? If so, Book & Verse.

4) Does God place two people together for the benefit of another (being the lost partner).

All feedback appreciated.

New to this bulletin board, and happy to talk with other believers.

Zuriel (Carol) Age 50

Born-again since 1979

First of all, I absolutely believe that it is best for a true, born again believer to marry only another believer. The main practical reason is that a marriage between two genuine Christians will have fewer problems. Most marriages, Christian or not, have their share of problems. A marriage between a Christian and a non-Christian will have more. Having said that, I don't believe that a Christian is sinning if he or she willfully chooses to marry a non-believer (this is to be checked with the Bible verse that states "whatever is not from faith is sin," meaning that if the believer does not have a peace in marrying the non-believer, then that believer is in sin). I do think that it is the most foolish thing a Christian can do. But my personal opinion is that it is better for a Christian to marry a non-believer than to stay single the rest of his life. My wife is a believer, but I've jokingly told my still single friends who are getting older, that it's okay to marry an unbeliever so long as that person is "saved enough." I think there's a sound principle in that. A Christian should not marry a practicing devil-worshipper or anyone that would cause you to compromise your faith. But to marry a "normal" person, complete with his or her flaws and inadequacies, is alright. I'll try to answer your questions.

1) Yes. I think I answered that in my first paragraph. That is, if you define "bless" as God being okay with it. Don't underestimate the Holy Spirit working through your conscience. If you don't have a peace about marrying a person, Christian or not, you should not marry that person.

2) Definitely. We are encouraged to always pray for others and God has expressed Himself in the Bible that He wants everyone to come to the knowledge of the truth, including Catholics. However, marrying a non-believer and praying for them doesn't guarantee that they'll be saved. In the end, only God knows who'll get saved. It is still our duty as believers to always pray for the lost, whether we're married to them or not. God honors your prayers for the lost by giving the lost plenty of opportunities to believe the Gospel.

3) While it doesn't say specifically in the Bible to not marry a Catholic, Paul in his epistles advised that we should not be unequally yoked with a nonbeliever. Many Christians and their churches interpret this passage as the definitive instruction for Christians to not marry a non-Christian. I completely disagree. While that principle can certainly be applied to marriage, the whole context of that passage has nothing to do with marriage. There was a portion in Paul's writings that deal specifically with marriage, and if Paul had the opportunity to explicitly spell out that Christians shouldn't marry non-believers, that section should've been it. But instead, he instructs believers to NOT leave their non-believing spouses. If anything, the whole of Paul's writings suggests that Paul has nothing against believers marrying non-believers. Some have argued that Paul was referring to marriages that started out with two unbelievers, with one of them getting saved later on. That is called arguing from silence, very weak, don't listen to that. So the answer is no, nowhere in the Bible are Christians instructed to not marry non-Christians.

4) Well, all things work out for the good to those who love God, the Bible said. I'm sure in many cases God put together a believer and a non-believer, resulting in the non-believer getting saved. But I also believe that more often than not, the believer disobeyed God and violated their own conscience as well as sound Biblical guidelines in order to pursue a relationship with a non-believer because of their rebellious heart, resulting in a miserable and failed marriage.

Bottom line, it is best for a Christian to marry another Christian. It doesn't guarantee anything, but it's good to have your bases covered! Marry the one you love, but while you can still help it, look only to fall in love with a believer.

Edited July 2, 2007 by FighterforJC