The divorce and remarriage question

[deut31:12]

Many people who have committed adultery will be in heaven.

True, but the difference is those who have committed the act and repented and those who purposely live in it without repentance.

[Abigailwc]

Dear HisGirl, do not mind what other people say about you. I would advise you to take it to God and ask Him to search your heart and ask Him to let you know if you are doing anything against His will.

I did just that after so many christians told me how wrong I was to have divorced my abusive husband. They were pronouncing words of condemnation to me and some of them decided not to see me again. These people filled me with doubts about my actions and one evening as I was fighting to fall asleep because of my doubts, I uttered a prayer asking God to search my heart and to let me know if I did wrong by getting a divorce. I asked Him to clearly convict me if I made a mistake. After I finished my prayer I felt a wonderful peace come over me and that night I slept like a teen!

After 4 years of being a single mom, I did not want to marry again. But then one day, I felt a desire to marry again. I prayed asking God if He was the one giving me that desire and that if I am not to get married again, that is, if it is not His will, to take away my desire and give me contentment in my singleness. So far, that desire to marry is still here. I am now praying that He lets me know who He wants me to marry and to indicate clearly to me, in His time, who that person will be when I'll meet him. I put my trust and my life in His hands only.

God loves you, HisGirl. May you rest in Him and seek Him in your situation.

[deut31:12]

I wouldn't be so rigid on who God will allow to enter into Heaven or not. You must also remember that what you judge will be jugded upon yourself (Matthew 7:1-5), and the merciful will obtain mercy. If you haven't committed physical adultery, I'm quite sure you have done so in your heart (we all have), like Jesus says in Matthew 5:27- 32. Read Romans 2:19-22, especially in the Amplified version, which talks about adultery in thought as well. The sin of adultery doesn't hang over someone's head and automatically cause them to go to hell. Let God be the judge on who goes to hell, and let us learn what this means (Please read Matthew 9:13)

You are missing the point. Nobody is judging anybody when we can plainly see what the scriptures have laid out for us who will enter into heaven and who will not.

1 Cor. 6:9, 10 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Ephesians 5:3-6 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.

Galatians 5:19-21 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

By verses such as these we learn what sin is and what God will do about it. We aren't doing the judging God is and he does that starting with the scriptures. They are here to learn of the will of God and to put these sins our of our lives or we will be subject to his wrath.

Learning, guiding, and counseling the scriptures on sin to help us live more Christ-like is not judging and is not done from pride. It is out of love for the soul that we don't want to see go to hell in their sins.

Please tell me if you have lived totally sin free since you've become saved. I'm really trying not to be funny, but we cannot allow the leaven of the Pharisees creep into our spirits. God has a way of putting our pride and lack of mercy into check. God bless you.

Again, you miss the point. Yes, people are subject to sinning everyday. The difference is if we are doing our best not to give into it or if we don't care and allow it in our lives. Christianity isn't about living a sin free life of never, ever sinning again. It is about giving up my carnal life to live the life that God set down for us to live. He told us that we cannot give into fornication, adultery, lying, stealing, etc. If we happen to slip up and fall into it we are expected to repent of it and seek forgiveness. If I choose to keep those sins in my life not willing to give them up then I am in trouble of God's wrath and possibly going to hell.

Living in an adulterous relationship is not the same as having a stray sexual thought about the opposite sex.

[deut31:12]

The point that you missing is that Jesus doesn't separate then like you are doing. Whether you commit a sin as a sinner or a Christian it is still a sin. What God looks at is what you do with it. The reason why we become Christians is because we have told God that we will surrender our own lives to live after his commandments and that includes that if we divorce and remarry save for the cause of fornication we are living in adultery and no adulterer will enter into heaven.

And the point you are missing is this: It's only constant adultery if you are unmarried. Your saying that once two people marry, they are in a constant state of adultery, and that is 100% bogus. If a divorce was done on un-biblical grounds, then yes, the intitial act of marriage was adultery, but it does not remain that way day after day, especially if and when you truly seek forgiveness.

I also want to make sure everyone realizes exactly what you are saying here. You just stated that anyone who divorces and re-marries without good cause will go to hell. You have said, although not plainly stated, that divorce is an unforgivable sin. I'd sure like to see you display the validity of that position scripturally.

If I put away my spouse for anything except for the fact that they cheated on me and then remarry anybody then I enter into an adulterous relationship because God is still recognizing my other marriage. Jesus plainly stated in a few verses that except if be fore fornication and I remarry then I will be committing adultery. Basically every time my new spouse and I come together it will be an adulterous act. It isn't so much as we are together in marriage that is the sin. It is that we are joining together in adultery as I am legally still married to my other spouse. The only way to repent from this is to stop the relationship and separate.

If you truly seek forgiveness then you will depart from one another so that you are not committing adultery every time you come together.

Another commandment -

1 Corinthians 7:10-12 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

There are steps and commandments that are laid out in the scriptures for us to follow and they have to be followed. If you did not divorce for your spouse cheating on you or if they have not passed away then you are not free to remarry.

[deut31:12]

It is a very interesting question and I think one that we do not address very well.

Obviously divorce is not a sin from a scriptural basis, Christ Himself gives us some conditions for divorce and Paul furthers these conditions. I don

[deut31:12]

It is a very interesting question and I think one that we do not address very well.

Obviously divorce is not a sin from a scriptural basis, Christ Himself gives us some conditions for divorce and Paul furthers these conditions. I don

[deut31:12]

I participated in the poll but I'm not sure that I liked the possible answers on the poll. My views on divorce have changed because of a personal experience. My first wife had an adulterous affair, refused to reconcile, and abandoned the family. I granted her a divorce 18 months later, because I was just forcing her to live in sin with the man with whom she left if I didn't. I was a pastor at the time and I felt my minstry was over. Through much prayer and counseling I returned to the ministry and now am remarried. The end result is that I am not quick to jump to judgment. I still believe divorce for irreconciliable differences is a sorry excuse. But, marriage is a covenant and two people's faithfulness is needed to it keeps it alive. But, you can't keep someone in a cevenant that they do not want to keep. If your partner wants out, sometimes there is nothing you can do to keep them in it. I believe God will eventually release you from the obligation.

Divorce isn't the sin. Unlawfully remarrying is the sin.

You were not forcing her to live in adultery because you were still married. By way of the scriptures no matter what she does with another man she is in adultery.

Matthew 19:8,9 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Just this scripture alone lets us know that whosoever puts away his wife and marries another commits adultery, unless she was put away for cheating and whosoever marries the one that was put away for cheating commits adultery

[deut31:12]

The reason why we become Christians is because we have told God that we will surrender our own lives to live after his commandments and that includes that if we divorce and remarry save for the cause of fornication we are living in adultery and no adulterer will enter into heaven.

I am just going to step into this for a brief moment.

This statement is just wrong and on so many levels that I can not cover them all.

Salvation is a free gift that is not contingent of what we do. It is not a situation where JESUS has said, "I covered your sins and if you are good enough you can be with me in paradise." I could quote numerous scriptures, but that doesn't mean you would accept them.

It is the work of the HOLY SPIRIT in us that determines our sanctification. Justifiction is imediate and permanent. (there are more scripture to support this that I will not post at this time)

Your notion that having a sin or two in your life when you die condemns you to eternal damnation is just wrong. You have lost the Christian liberty that Paul very clearly told us not to give up to people who preach these things to put us back in bondage again. Run away from that type of teaching and spend some time truly studying grace.

I am praying for you. This post has truly grieved my spirit.

HIS Love and Peace abide on you.

No, it is not wrong. Yes, salvation is a free gift, but we are still required to live our lives without sin. Not to mean that we will never sin, but that our lives are no longer given over to sin. Just because I sinned once or twice will not keep me out of heave, but if I have sin in my life that I will not repent of then I will not inherit heaven.

Eph. 5:3-5 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

"As becometh saints" means that after we have become Christians. None of these sins are to be once named amongst us or we will not have any inheritance in the kingdom.

Just as many scriptures that you say you can pull up I can also saying that we are keep sin out of our lives. This is not to mean to never sin again, as many people take it, but that our lives are give over to Jesus and that we will live by his commandments and not according to the flesh.

I accept all scriptures, but many times people will only support the ones that make every easy. I accept everything that you could say, but you also have to keep every other scripture in play with it.

You are wrong again. It is also contingent on what we do. Salvation was full and free to everyone and there was nothing that we could do to earn it, but once we are saved we still need to continue living Christianity in striving to be Christ-like, taking up our cross to follow, and to lose our life to find it with God.

Romans 8:11-13 But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you. Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.

We mortify our deeds by putting away the filth of the flesh, our sins, our lusts, and when we learn that we are in a sin we repent of it.

Romans 11:21-22 For if God spared not the natural branches, take heed lest he also spare not thee. Behold therefore the goodness and severity of God: on them which fell, severity; but toward thee, goodness, if thou continue in his goodness: otherwise thou also shalt be cut off.

You will see that we have to continue in the goodness of God, which means living as a Christian and not to sin, or we will be cut off.

[deut31:12]

Yes, all sin can and is forgiven and indeed many of us struggle with sin every day, I know I do, and I pray that I can turn from this sin.

But as far as a scarlet letter for divorce I think that is frankly a joke. Within most Evangelical Churches today a little over half the people who are in the church are divorced, and a good portion of the pastors are divorced, Evangelical Churches today I think are fully accepting of divorce, which is fine but we need to get a better handle on this instead of pretending it is not a problem or focusing on things like gay marriage etc.

Divorce is not the problem. Divorce is not a sin. Where the sin lies is in the remarriage if my divorce was not for the cause of my spouse committing fornication against me or if they have passed away. If I put away my spouse because we could not get along, they were abusive, etc. and get remarried then I am now in an adulterous relationship against my divorced spouse. If my spouse, that I put away, chooses to get remarried under same conditions then they also marry into an adulterous relationship.

[deut31:12]

The point that you missing is that Jesus doesn't separate then like you are doing. Whether you commit a sin as a sinner or a Christian it is still a sin. What God looks at is what you do with it. The reason why we become Christians is because we have told God that we will surrender our own lives to live after his commandments and that includes that if we divorce and remarry save for the cause of fornication we are living in adultery and no adulterer will enter into heaven.

Absolute nonsense.

Christ said the adultery is COMMITTED in such a case...He did NOT say that this is any 'state' of ongoing adultery.

Now please...tell me that the greek is linear or whatever other word you can find so we can expose that nonsense as well.

You have to go back to the root that the only things that let you out of being married are your spouse cheating on you and death.

Matthew 19:5-7 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

When you marry your spouse you become one flesh in the eyes of God and no man can separate the two, but we let make separate us every time we go to divorce court.

Moses was allowing the Jews to give their spouses a divorcement, which allowed a "man" to put them asunder, but Jesus went on to say this -

8, 9 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

You are in adultery against your previous wife because you have joined yourself to another woman that did not cheat on you for you to divorce her and/or she is still living.

You in essence are still married to you spouse in the eyes of God. So, yes, you are living in adultery.