The divorce and remarriage question

[Smalcald]

Do you really think GOD wants you to live in misery because you made a mistake? Really? IS that how you see GOD? We screw up. We correct that screw up. We move on. All is forgiven. All is made new.

I totally agree with this statement.

However, it is not a mistake, it is an intentional sin, let

[JCISGD]

Hi Kross and Smalcald i am a christian man, who married a divorced woman before i knew Jesus or the bible. 6 mths before recieving Christ i found myself seperated and tormented by the infidelities on both sides. For 4 yrs i tried to do what i thought was the right thing, and win my wife back.

All the counsel i recieved from pastors and leaders was varied and vague. None told me i should not try to save my marriage.

After 4 yrs i did, i thought follow scripture and divorced amicably for the sake of peace.

18 yrs later while crying out to God for clarity about possible remarrriage to a lady that i had a 5 yr relationship with but could get no peace about, i came accross the above teaching by Dr Tim Birkitt and Dr Mike Gorrie that the word for fornication (premarital sex) is in every instance Porenea and is the word used as the only reason for divorce not sexual immorality or adultery-Mochiahia ? as some bibles use.

It has therefore been mistranslated in many bibles and appears to sanction divorce/remarriage for the cause of adultery, but this is wrong and the only execption is divorce because of fornication committed by ones fiancee during the engagement period, and this was only written in Matthew for the Jews who had this custom of calling the espoused, husband and wife before the actual marriage ceremony. This is why Mark and Luke written to the Greeks do not have this exception.

If you can recieve this then it is not bondage to repent of all wrong marriages but liberty from sin which always misses Gods best and causes more problems than it appears to solve. It is a very hard thing to accept especially where children are now involved, and each person should not make a move without clear and unwavering direction from God. Do not add doubt to the situation as this doubt is unbelief and a sin.

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Finally my brothers and sisters know this, there is NOTHING OUR GOD cannot REDEEM. He always rewards obedience with blessing far greater than we can ask for or imagine. Our God is a expansive giving God, not a restrictive denying god as mens idols are.

Im sorry but if you believe God will overlook the breaking of any marriage, Christian or Pre-Christian there is no biblical grounds, and dealing "treacherously with the wife of your youth" will cause your prayers to go unanswered. John the Baptist lost his head for telling pagan Herod he must leave his brother Phillips wife and return to his.

I cant supply all the answers here and others have already supplied excellent responses to every objection, i recommend doing a web search especially " Spirit of Hosea". God bless Arthur

[Smalcald]

Hi Arthur,

So are you saying that your interpretation of scripture is that the only possibility for divorce is forncation during the engagement period? Outside of that further marriages would not be valid? I just wanted to understand where you are going with what you are saying. Outside of that further

Thanks.

[mjrhealth]

This is such a touchy subject, even today marriages are falling apart because of lust. People want everything to be easy and when its not they just swap partners as if they where a throw away item. My wife left me 7 or so years a go. I still live alone, and i do hate being alone it has caused me no end of issues, but i still Love her and for that reason ( and a huge amount of Gods grace) i am still waiting for her to come back. I know that she was given to me from God, and through this I have learnt much though being rather painful even to this day. I know i could never love another like Her and it would just be smoke screen and mirrors if i met up with someone else. There is a wedding feast coming, Jesus is coming for His bride, us His Church,we are supposed to be clean, spotless without blemish just like a bride is supposed to be on her wedding day, but we are far from it, we have polluted ourselves with this world, and soiled our garments, yet Jesus is the only one who can clean us up, and dont for one moment think that only the bride is supposed to be clean, so is the bridegroom, at least Jesus is perfect, now we need to be made that way, by giving up ourselves so He can change us and ready us for this. I dont think that one of us would want to be left out on this, so how would it be if Jesus said, enough is enough i dont want you lot for you are all polluted, and we are at that, yet He has given us a way. Is it not the same for us, should we divorce over infidelity or forgive and go on. Jesus said it was because of the Hardnes of our hearts that this law was given and God did not want it to be this way. Oh we are such a horrid thing I am glad for Gods grace that He should still want me even as rotten as i am. Only He can change me.

In His love

[JCISGD]

Hi Arthur,

So are you saying that your interpretation of scripture is that the only possibility for divorce is forncation during the engagement period? Outside of that further marriages would not be valid? I just wanted to understand where you are going with what you are saying. Outside of that further

Thanks.

Yes that is my interpretation ( i am not a recognised teacher but have gleaned this from serveral others that are/were).

I now believe that God counts all first marriages only as joined by Him unless and untill death. It matters not what i believe though, its what God who does not contradict Himself says in the Bible and through His Son.

Jesus said " it has been said ( Moses said such and such, or atleast people claim such and such is allowed )" " But im saying WHOEVER divorces....commits Adultery"

For years i tried to harmonise what others taught, with this very clear and staight forward command of Jesus Himself, but i could never get any peace.

[Smalcald]

In some ways it does make things simpler and really easier. Once married I don't have to worry about what is going to happen in the future, that is it, if she leaves or cheats or whatever, that is it; my vow to God has been made and I can rest in that. There is some logic to that.

In addition St. Paul was clear that it is totally acceptable and sometimes desirable to live celibate and free to serve God.

[JCISGD]

Yes God will and does supply the grace we need for every circumstance, even celibacy if we find ourselves in the divorce/remarriage trap.

Again i must emphasize seek God on every matter and do not choose celibacy unless specifically led to. This is the problem when men/women who try to live a celibate life when God has said "go forth and multiply" they are unable to control themselves. Celibacy is grace empowered and not the normal way, most famous preachers and revivalist married and even remarried upon the death of their wife/hushand.

God is not the author of confusion, but oh man the confusion i went through trying to fit square pegs in round holes untill God shone His light on my error and the error of divorce and remarriage.

I have 2 siblings and 1 friend who were divorced and then remarried and even though i gave them my blessings, i could not bring myself to attend their weddings. I see now that the Holy Spirit within me was grieved and although i tried to supress my feelings, i had no relief until the next day.

I wish i did not have to be the one to now tell them they are committing adultery in Gods sight, but i know of no other way for me. Ezek 3:18-21.

[KC02]

Excuse me, but that sounds even more frightening than your doctrine! If God has blessed someone's marriage and you try to break it up, will you be innocent? What happened to the people who spoke against Moses' marriage to a biracial woman?

It's not your job to size up everybody's marriage. Our job is to love God and others. Proof text all you want, but you are dealing with something sacred -- marriage.

You are adopting the enemy's job and I fear for you and your soul.

Lord, illuminate our minds so that we can understand your Word! Amen.

Yes God will and does supply the grace we need for every circumstance, even celibacy if we find ourselves in the divorce/remarriage trap.

Again i must emphasize seek God on every matter and do not choose celibacy unless specifically led to. This is the problem when men/women who try to live a celibate life when God has said "go forth and multiply" they are unable to control themselves. Celibacy is grace empowered and not the normal way, most famous preachers and revivalist married and even remarried upon the death of their wife/hushand.

God is not the author of confusion, but oh man the confusion i went through trying to fit square pegs in round holes untill God shone His light on my error and the error of divorce and remarriage.

I have 2 siblings and 1 friend who were divorced and then remarried and even though i gave them my blessings, i could not bring myself to attend their weddings. I see now that the Holy Spirit within me was grieved and although i tried to supress my feelings, i had no relief until the next day.

I wish i did not have to be the one to now tell them they are committing adultery in Gods sight, but i know of no other way for me. Ezek 3:18-21.

[Smalcald]

Yes God will and does supply the grace we need for every circumstance, even celibacy if we find ourselves in the divorce/remarriage trap.

Again i must emphasize seek God on every matter and do not choose celibacy unless specifically led to. This is the problem when men/women who try to live a celibate life when God has said "go forth and multiply" they are unable to control themselves. Celibacy is grace empowered and not the normal way, most famous preachers and revivalist married and even remarried upon the death of their wife/hushand.

God is not the author of confusion, but oh man the confusion i went through trying to fit square pegs in round holes untill God shone His light on my error and the error of divorce and remarriage.

I have 2 siblings and 1 friend who were divorced and then remarried and even though i gave them my blessings, i could not bring myself to attend their weddings. I see now that the Holy Spirit within me was grieved and although i tried to supress my feelings, i had no relief until the next day.

I wish i did not have to be the one to now tell them they are committing adultery in Gods sight, but i know of no other way for me. Ezek 3:18-21.

But the fact is though celibacy may be the very common state we will end up in if we follow the doctrine you are speaking of.

Let us say that someone gets married at 18 (too young), his wife cheats on him ten years later, he cannot abide that and they divorce at the age of 28; he meets someone else and they marry when he is 30. Now it is 20 years later he is 50, he hears your teaching and agrees with it, he divorces his current wife of 20 years. His first wife has long been married to someone else; there is no chance that will be reconciled. This man will be celibate for the rest of his life still married to his one and only wife.

This is not some odd case; this would be a very common case if all second marriages are adultery.

I just don't see direct scripture for breaking up that second marriage. Now I do see direct scripture about not divorcing, I see direct scripture about seeking to reconcile versus seeking to divorce and remarry indeed you have posted them.

But human beings sin, it would seem to go against the Gospel message to require this sort of penance from someone who has been married for 20 years even if it is a second marriage. The point is to repent ask for forgiveness and know that we are truly forgiven, and also realize that we cannot do it again and think that we have faith.

I am tough on divorce, but it would seem that encouraging second marriages to divorce is at some level, well insane.

[JILLAROO]

Hi, I'm really new here but I would like to ask a question - I was married for 4 years when I found out my husband had committed adultory. We have been separerated fro 8 years, divorced for 6. I know God says adultory is grounds for divorce, but then am I free to remarry? I'm not sure what the bible says about that?