Teenage Girl

[sierra21]

As most of you know I'm a social worker.

I'm having a lot of trouble with one of my 16 year old girls (she is a temporary ward due to behaviour problems-drinking, smoking up and having sex).

She was at a foster home that was working out but a younger girl moved in there which somehow stirred things up. Long story short, she ran away this afternoon and didn't come back to the foster parents place for 6 hours. The foster parent is convinced that she is doing drugs and wants her moved by monday.

There has also been rumours that she has been bring drugs from her home community into the foster parents community and selling it.

I have tried so many different methods of trying to get through to this girl- I've been nice, I've been tough, I've been understanding....and I'm really at my wits end.

Some workers would probably just take her out of care because she's too much trouble but I just feel like there's something about this girl.....

God is telling me to help her, but I am seriously out of ideas. I see something in this girl, I'm not sure what it is, but I don't see it in any of my other wards. She's different, and I believe she is so on the line of becoming a good person, but I don't know how to guide her into the right direction. I've spent so many hours praying on this...but nothing is coming to me. I know that I won't give up on her, but I'm wondering if anyone else has any ideas?

The last thing I want to do is make a mistake and push this girl away which could result in terrible things. How do you show love toward someone, but also (for lack of a better term) "give them crap" for what they've done. Discipline is really hard to enforce with these kids because they don't understand what it is. They don't understand that we discipline because we LOVE. They just see it as "mean" and go the other way.

Anyways, if anyone has any ideas I'm going to talk to her tomorrow in the afternoon. The foster parents are also upset and I wish that I could somehow patch up this placement (though I don't have high hopes). If you don't have any advice, could you at least just say a prayer that direction might be revealed to me? Thanks everyone.

[Guest]

[OneLight]

I understand that you are looking for suggestions outside your own. This is just a idea, but have you tried taking her to YDC so she can have a look at her other options? This may be like a "scared straight" visit to her. By allowing her to continue in the same manner is like enameling her and her habits. She needs to realize that in a couple of years, she will not have a YDC option in the court system. She will be with the more harden criminals and have a permanent record.

I will hold you and her in my prayers.

God Bless,

OneLight

[jaci]

This may be two obvious questions, but I was wondering if she has seen a addiction counselor? Also, is it possible to prohibit her from visiting her home community unsupervised? I really wish I could be of help and I pray that something will come of this. She's just too young to give up on.

Edited October 4, 2008 by jaci

[Floatingaxe]

I have been dealing with an incorrigible 12 year old who has run the gamut in the system, and is now in another foster home with a 23 year old young woman who is not too effective. She is into pot, cutting, was into sex, and is uncontrollable. I am not a social worker, but I have been her "mommy" for about 2 years now. I led her to the Lord and got her into our church and into a teen cell group. Her behaviours are pretty much indicative of mental illness andf she acts much like the girl in your care, sierra. Everything has been done for her, and I have no more ideas even for her! She is entering some sort of youth activities group run by our municipal social services sector, as she refuses to go to school---hasn't been a full year yet, and has NEVER gone for a full week, ever.

I know what it's like to be at one's wit's end! I will pray for you about this, that God will give you some of His wisdom toward this girl He loves.

[Guest]

[Guest Biblicist]

Hello Sierra, Long time, eh?

If God is leading you to this young girl, to help her, be assured He will open doors for you and give you the resources and ideas you need to do what He wills for you to do.

God doesn't guide you to a person and then leave you hanging. He's got a plan in place, be willing to follow it, even if it seems really difficult.

Is it possible to bring this girl to your home? That's usually my answer to everything. They need a mother, I am one, therefore they should just live with me. Thankfully I have a husband who has his head on straight, and realizes that children are not puppies...

Anyway, praying that you see God's plan, and soon!

[Bellapink]

I've prayed for you. God will open up the doors you need.

[sierra21]

Well the meeting didnt go as I'd hoped. The foster parents are good people, but do not put up with drugs in their home (who can blame them really).

So I will place her in a new foster home on monday. It's not my first choice as it is esentially a group home, so I will likely move her again once I find a better place for her.

*Sigh*.....this job can be really hard sometimes.

[Floatingaxe]

Well the meeting didnt go as I'd hoped. The foster parents are good people, but do not put up with drugs in their home (who can blame them really).

So I will place her in a new foster home on monday. It's not my first choice as it is esentially a group home, so I will likely move her again once I find a better place for her.

*Sigh*.....this job can be really hard sometimes.