Guest HIS girl Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~ angelique ~~ Posted October 20, 2008 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 85 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 665 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/11/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/24/1968 Author Share Posted October 20, 2008 This aloneness I'm feeling is stronger tonight. It's been two months as I am posting this. I have the whole night flashing through my mind. Seeing him in the seizure and feeling helpless. Watching him die in our bed. Feeling his presence leave. Seeing him to id him for cremation. I know it's been two months (90 days) but it feels like yesterday. My mom came to visit this weekend because of what I had to do friday (probate court, tax office, and dmv). I have cried so much this weekend. Then, my sister's other half is in the hospital and it's serious. I'm having a really hard time with God right now. I don't feel like he's listening. I don't understand. I had something happen last week that really upset me spiritually as well. When one looses all hope, is it possible to find it again??? How long were you together? 20 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afal Posted October 20, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,249 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/12/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted October 20, 2008 I don't have any words ... but I do have some hugs for you ... Praying for you too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~ angelique ~~ Posted October 27, 2008 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 85 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 665 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/11/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/24/1968 Author Share Posted October 27, 2008 A Poem: As my heart feels so ripped apart The one who was always there for me is gone away This sadness and pain can't be put at bay No one confide in or to hold and comfort me I don't see why I just shouldn't leave If I should die tonight, who would be by my side Alone is what I would be without the one who loves me. If I should die this week, who would truly weep? The darkness of grief shrouds my eyes I didn't ask to be forced to say goodbye Sadness grips my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xan Posted October 27, 2008 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 32 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,060 Content Per Day: 0.18 Reputation: 18 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/02/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/23/1970 Share Posted October 27, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
browneyedgirl2 Posted October 27, 2008 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 12 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 117 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/16/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted October 27, 2008 (edited) You dear lady...I'm so sorry for your loss... I can't imagine being married to someone and losing them in such a way... My thoughts and prayers reach out to you today.... May GOD intercede and bring you comfort and peace, as only HE CAN!!!!!!!!! GOD bless!!! Edited October 27, 2008 by browneyedgirl2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~ angelique ~~ Posted November 9, 2008 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 85 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 665 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/11/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/24/1968 Author Share Posted November 9, 2008 Hey, I wanted to give an update. I'm recovering from pneumonia and bronchitis. The doc says it's because I'm so worn down with work, school, and grieving. I went to a seminar yesterday on grieving and the holidays. It was good. I have decided to attend another grief group in January. I went to soon to the first one. I went less then two weeks after he died and it was way too soon. I'm feeling alone. But, the shock has worn off and the reality has definitely set in. Anyway, the doc upped my zoloft which is helping some. I go back friday. I think the zanex would help the panic attacks if I actually took them. But, I am very scared of getting addicted to them. An addiction is the last thing I need right now. I am going to ask for something less addictive this friday. Please be praying cause I'm really struggling right now. Hugs to all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afal Posted November 9, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,249 Content Per Day: 0.36 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/12/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted November 9, 2008 Praying and hugs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angels4u Posted November 13, 2008 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 56 Topic Count: 1,664 Topics Per Day: 0.20 Content Count: 19,764 Content Per Day: 2.38 Reputation: 12,164 Days Won: 28 Joined: 08/22/2001 Status: Offline Share Posted November 13, 2008 I'm so sorry to hear about you loss and I'm praying for you too, I don't know the right words but I want to give you a Big hug and you might not feel it but Jesus loves you and He's as close as a mention of His name! Cling to the Rock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stacey c Posted November 13, 2008 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 37 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 913 Content Per Day: 0.16 Reputation: 19 Days Won: 2 Joined: 03/29/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/02/1969 Share Posted November 13, 2008 Sweety, I'm so sorry for your loss. I haven't been on much lately and just now read this thread. I lost my first husband, it will be ten yrs. ago on Jan.13. He was only 35 when he was killed. So although time has lessened the pain the horrors are still very imprinted in my memory. Honey if you need any one to vent on or share with pm me any time. I'll be praying for you, and may the peace that passeth all understanding invade your heart. God Bless you, Stacey c. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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