Willa

When God speaks you can definitely tell it is righteous and authoritative; and it never contradicts Scripture.  Often God has spoken to me after or during prayer.  The idea conveyed is often the last thing I would have thought of.  
I do not believe this is the conscience speaking but that it is the Holy Spirit.  The first time God spoke to me was right after I had again repented and was broken, knowing I was lost.  The Bible study had been on how life becomes prioritized and full of joy and peace when we are filled with the Holy Spirit.  It was also about trusting God and praising Him in all circumstances.  I was advised to ask God to refill me with the Holy Spirit, to praise God and thank Him for my impossible failure to do God's will!  I did this and a short time later God spoke to me about something entirely different that gave me hope.
 Luk 11:13. ESV. If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
Eph. 5: 18-20. Wuest.   And stop being intoxicated with wine, in which state of intoxication there is profligacy. But be constantly controlled by the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your hearts to the Lord, giving thanks always concerning all things in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father, putting yourselves in subjection to one another in the fear of Christ.

I asked my pastor that question and he gave me the same answer that God had given me.  So I think it is true.  It is like food laws.  It may be fine for you but it may cause someone else to stumble.  So if you are convinced it is OK for you, you are free to listen to it (but not too loud and go deaf).  However, it might be best to do it by yourself.  Some people used to do drugs and drink to rock and it brings back the old life to them.  It is wrong for them.  So you should avoid it around those people who came out of that life.  Like you I believe that it is the lyrics that makes the difference.   This is the Scripture that God gave me.
Rom 14:13  Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.
Rom 14:14  I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean.
Rom 14:15  For if your brother is grieved by what you eat (listen to), you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died.
Rom 14:16  So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil.
Rom 14:17  For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
Rom 14:18  Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. Rom 14:19  So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.
Rom 14:20  Do not, for the sake of food (music), destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats (listens to).
Rom 14:21  It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.
Rom 14:22  The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves.
Rom 14:23  But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats (listens), because the eating (listening) is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.
The answer here is to be fully convinced in your own mind, because if you doubt it is sin to do it.

Hi, found.  Baptism by immersion represents the death of the old man and his sinful lifestyle and being reborn as a child of God, cleansed and putting on the life of Christ.  It is a testimony as to what God has done in our lives and is an act of obedience to Christ.
 Rom 6:3  ESV Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?  Rom 6:4 We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.  Rom 6:5 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his  Rom 6:6 We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.

It is best to do what we are directed to do in Scripture instead of what "feels" right.  Our emotions can play havoc with us.  On the other hand we are told to allow the peace of God to act as a referee in our hearts.  
Col 3:15  And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].

Welcome, Jason.    However, the first question is are you both strong believers in Jesus Christ? That means have you both turned away from sinning and turned to God for forgiveness?  Do you believe that you can only be forgiven because Jesus died for you on the cross to pay the penalty for your sin?  Have you confessed that Jesus is your Lord and God and do you desire to serve Him?  
In answer to your question, the Bible says that living together outside of marriage is sin.  It is called fornication.  Divorce is also frowned upon by God;  the possible exception is if her husband committed adultery and left her.  
But God forgives all who in humility truly hate that they have sinned against God and who turn to Him for forgiveness.  God demonstrated His love for us when He sent Jesus into the world to die for us sinners.   When we turn to Him for forgiveness He also confers Christs' sinless righteousness on us and gives us a new life that is cleansed by the reading of the Bible.  We are empowered to follow and serve Him by His Spirit.  God changes our desires and our hearts to be more like Jesus as we surrender our lives to Him.  It is a process.  He also grows these qualities in us: love, joy, peace, patient endurance, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.  They are produced by His Spirit dwelling in us.
I urge you to read a Bible such as the ESV (English Standard Version) and start reading past the middle in the New Testament.  The Gospel of John is a good place to start, or any of the Gospels since they tell about the life and words of Jesus.
Blessings,
Willa
 

I don't think so.  A woman usually changes her last name when she marries and that is not dishonor even though it is the family name.  Many actors change their names.  John Wayne was Marion Robert Morrison, to Marion Mitchel Morrison, to John Wayne.   So unless your purpose is to remove yourself from your family, I can't see how it would dishonor them.  However, different cultures may view it otherwise.

Tit 3:4 ESV But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, Tit 3:5 he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, Tit 3:6 whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior,  Tit 3:7 so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
 Rom 4:5 And to the one who does not work but believes in him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness, Rom 4:6 just as David also speaks of the blessing of the one to whom God counts righteousness apart from works: Rom 4:7 “Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered; Rom 4:8 blessed is the man against whom the Lord will not count his sin.”
Joh 3:16  "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Joh 3:17  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
Joh 3:18  Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.
Joh 1:1  In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. Joh 1:2  He was in the beginning with God. Joh 1:3  All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.  Joh 1:14  And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.
No one can be saved by being good.  We are saved by confessing our sin of unbelief and trusting in the blood sacrifice of Jesus on the cross as payment for our sin, and believing in His resurrection from the dead.  Jesus was God in human flesh, God With Us, Immanuel, our Creator and King of Kings, Lord of Lords.
Rom 10:9  because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  Rom 10:10  For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

Be patient, lead by example, and limit but don't eliminate her spending on unnecessary things.  But I don't know what your idea of earthly treasures is or what hers are.  If you are thinking of aesthetic existence with the bare minimum for survival, there are some comforts that a woman appreciates.  
If you are meeting her emotional and spiritual needs she may not value those empty things as much.  My husband made me feel treasured and would do most anything for me and to protect me.  He gave me a good deal of responsibility and appreciated that my talents complemented his own, making me a helper.  He prayed aloud with me and for me each night.  This meant more to me than words can express.  He was my prayer partner.  
Eph 5:25  ESV Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
1Pe 3:7  Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
 Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

No, God does not always heal people.  Why are you scared to go to your doctor?  Fear is not from God.  And the sooner a disease is addressed it is less likely to spread or worsen.  God gave us doctors.  Luke, who wrote the Gospel of Luke, was a medical doctor.  
Father God, please help Trish and take away her fear.  You said in 1 John that perfect love takes away fear.  Thank you for Your precious promises and your great love for Trisha.  Enfold her in Your arms, dear Jesus, and pease make her whole.  Protect her from the lies of the enemy.  Thank you that you care for us so much that you died for us, Blessed Jesus.  Holy is Your Name.  Amen.
Mat 8:14  NKJV Now when Jesus had come into Peter's house, He saw his wife's mother lying sick with a fever. Mat 8:15  So He touched her hand, and the fever left her. And she arose and served them. Mat 8:16  When evening had come, they brought to Him many who were demon-possessed. And He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were sick, Mat 8:17  that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Isaiah the prophet, saying: "HE HIMSELF TOOK OUR INFIRMITIES AND BORE OUR SICKNESSES."
1Jn 4:14  And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. 1Jn 4:15  Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 1Jn 4:16  And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. 1Jn 4:17  Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world.
1Jn 4:18  AMP There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love's complete perfection].
1Jn 4:19  We love Him, because He first loved us.
 
Blessings,
Willa

WE must come to God on His terms, not our own.  He is the One in control.  He is our Creator God.  We bow and submit to Him.
 So you can't realy bargain with God saying I will obey you if your give me this girl, which is sin.    Instead you say I will stay with my wife--nevertheless not my will be done but thine.  I choose to love her and repent of the sins of coveting and adultery.  God hates divorce.  Repenting is choosing to do things God's way and turning away from sin.

The 10 commandments say to honor our parents.  I agree that this can be very hard.  Perhaps sending her a card or a small gift for holidays, or a photo of your son would be ways to honor her without exposing either of you to further abuse.  Tell her that Jesus loves her.  
We are told to love our enemies and pray for those who spitefully use us.  We have to remember that it was while we were yet sinners that Jesus died for us.   We don't deserve God's grace either.  But I don't believe that means we have to be doormats and to be abused.  We are told to avoid people who call themselves Christians but continue in sin, and not even to eat with them in regard to church discipline.  This is one time that it is probably advisable to do so.  Paul warned Christians about Alexander the Coppersmith who had done him much harm.  
We have to forgive for our own well being.  That doesn't mean we need to place ourselves in harm's way or condone their sin.  We need to have pity on them as God has also had pity on us.   Pray for her deliverance.  
 

It depends on what the cause of the mental illness is.
 Jesus cast out demons from many.  
Sin can also cause mental problems, and guilt, and to these He told that we are to confess our sin and He will cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  The blood of Jesus paid for our sin and when we receive the Messiah as our Savior and our new Master, we are removed from the kingdom of darkness and placed into God's Kingdom of light.  
Some He healed.
Today He also provides help through men and medicine.  This sometimes requires our obedience.  He told some to wash themselves in a river or a pool, and He spit in dirt and made mud to  place in the eyes of one.  These were example of medicine of their time.  

It is fulfilling, overflowing, and full of contentment.  It contains  an abundance of fruit of the Spirit--
Gal 5:22  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,  Gal 5:23  Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

The first thing you should do is introduce yourself in Worthy WELCOME and tell us something about yourself.  
Are you a Christian who believes and reads the Bible and prays often each day?  Does Jesus live in you?  If so then you might want to pray for those who request prayer.  If not you are free to ask questions about our faith but you not be able to post in the "Inner Court".  
We also have fellowship areas for believers, hobbies, and an area where Worthy leaders present teaching subjects.  There is questions and answers for believers.  There are videos on various subjects as well as music.  
 

It would be best to stay away from churches that do not embrace the trinity.  I would overlook all but that.  You will never find a perfect church.  They are made up of imperfect people.

Trust is earned.  He has not earned it.  God is trustworthy and has earned that reputation.  He is not God.   Get counseling for yourself if he will not go.  I don't know where you live or what churches are near you, but one pastor I know used to go to a distant city for marriage counseling.  It was a long drive of 160 miles!.  

I asked God about someone else who wondered why they couldn't believe.  Finally God gave me a verse from the Bible, that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.  The person as well as my dad had worked their way through higher educations during the depression era and were very proud of their education.  They chose to resist the truth found in the Bible in favor of the world's knowledge.  Not everything according to man's logic is wrong.   But it isn't good to assume that the Bible doesn't apply to us, or that it is outdated, or that it has been superseded by man's knowledge.  
I don't know if any of this might apply to your case.  But we must humble ourselves to receive any gift, let alone the free gift of salvation.  It involves turning from the ugliness we find in ourselves and asking God, if there is a God, to forgive us.  He forgives because God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.  He didn't wait for us to be good enough.  Only Jesus was good enough to go to heaven. Only God is good.  So realizing how unworthy we are, receiving Christ as the expression of God's love for us, and then accepting the historical fact that Jesus Christ arose from the dead, is the path to belief.  
I had been an agnostic when God revealed Himself to me in nature.  

Joh 1:1  In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  Joh 1:2  He was in the beginning with God.  Joh 1:3  All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.  Joh 1:4  In him was life, and the life was the light of men.   Joh 1:14  And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.
Php 2:5  Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,  Php 2:6  who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,  Php 2:7  but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  Php 2:8  And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
 1Co 8:6  yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.
 2Co 5:19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.
 Eph 3:9  and to make all see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the ages has been hidden in God who created all things through Jesus Christ;
 Isa 7:14  “Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel.[fn]
 Mat 1:23  “Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,”[fn] which is translated, “God with us.”
 2Co 5:21  For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.
"Behold, I and the children God has given me."
Heb 2:14  Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil,
Heb 2:15  and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.
Heb 2:16  For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham.
Heb 2:17  Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people.
Heb 2:18  For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.
Heb 3:1  Therefore, holy brothers, you who share in a heavenly calling, consider Jesus, the apostle and high priest of our confession,
Heb 3:2  who was faithful to him who appointed him, just as Moses also was faithful in all God's house.
Heb 3:3  For Jesus has been counted worthy of more glory than Moses—as much more glory as the builder of a house has more honor than the house itself.
Heb 3:4  (For every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God.)
Heb 3:5  Now Moses was faithful in all God's house as a servant, to testify to the things that were to be spoken later,
Heb 3:6  but Christ is faithful over God's house as a son. And we are his house if indeed we hold fast our confidence and our boasting in our hope.
Heb 4:15  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.
 
We worship Jesus Christ God, with His Father in the beginning, Creator, born in human flesh of a virgin by the Holy Spirit, Son of God, Savior of mankind who receive Him as Savior and Lord; and His Holy Spirit Who abides in and with all believers, sent by our Father and Savior as another Comforter so that we shall never be alone.  We know Him as a real living God Who has revealed Himself evident in our own lives. We fear Him as our Almighty Creator but love Him as He first loved us and gave His Son for our sin. He has given His Spirit crying Daddy, Abba, in us, testifying that we are His children.  ONE GOD in 3 PERSONS BLESSED GOD FOREVER!  AMEN.  
Added some passages (George)
Isa 9:6  For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 
Isa 9:7  Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this. 
Rev 22:12  And behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give to each according as his work is. 
Rev 22:13  I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the Ending, the First and the Last. 

Word Study Dictionary:
In 2Th 2:3 the word apostasía does not refer to genuine Christians who depart from the faith, but mere professors who, without divine grace, succumb to the Satanic deception of the Antichrist.
 
2Th 2:1 AMP   BUT RELATIVE to the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah) and our gathering together to [meet] Him, [[rapture]] we beg you, brethren,  2Th 2:2  Not to allow your minds to be quickly unsettled or disturbed or kept excited or alarmed, whether it be by some [pretended] revelation of [the] Spirit or by word or by letter [alleged to be] from us, to the effect that the day of the Lord has [already] arrived and is here.
2Th 2:3  Let no one deceive or beguile you in any way, for that day will not come except the apostasy comes first [unless the predicted great falling away of those who have professed to be Christians has come], and the man of lawlessness (sin) is revealed, who is the son of doom (of perdition), [Dan 7:25; Dan 8:25; 1Ti 4:1]
2Th 2:4  Who opposes and exalts himself so proudly and insolently against and over all that is called God or that is worshiped, [even to his actually] taking his seat in the temple of God, proclaiming that he himself is God. [Eze 28:2; Dan 11:36-37]
2Th 2:5  Do you not recollect that when I was still with you, I told you these things?
2Th 2:6  And now you know what is restraining him [from being revealed at this time]; it is so that he may be manifested (revealed) in his own [appointed] time.
2Th 2:7  For the mystery of lawlessness (that hidden principle of rebellion against constituted authority) is already at work in the world, [but it is] restrained only until he who restrains is taken out of the way.
2Th 2:8  And then the lawless one (the antichrist) will be revealed and the Lord Jesus will slay him with the breath of His mouth and bring him to an end by His appearing at His coming. [Isa 11:4]
2Th 2:9  The coming [of the lawless one, the antichrist] is through the activity and working of Satan and will be attended by great power and with all sorts of [pretended] miracles and signs and delusive marvels—[all of them] lying wonders— 2Th 2:10  And by unlimited seduction to evil and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing (going to perdition) because they did not welcome the Truth but refused to love it that they might be saved.
2Th 2:11  Therefore God sends upon them a misleading influence, a working of error and a strong delusion to make them believe what is false,  2Th 2:12  In order that all may be judged and condemned who did not believe in [who refused to adhere to, trust in, and rely on] the Truth, but [instead] took pleasure in unrighteousness.
In 2 Thes. the Amplified Bible identifies the man of lawlessness as being the Antichrist.   I don't believe that this is wrong. And I don't believe that preachers are in error for preaching this truth.  They may be in error for many other things, but not this.  
2Ti 3:1  But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2Ti 3:2  For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 2Ti 3:3  unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 2Ti 3:4  traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 2Ti 3:5  having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!"  
We are told that when the Holy Spirit comes upon us we shall receive power.  So to deny the power of godliness is to deny the Holy Spirit.  The New Paradigm churches and progressive churches that deny the Holy Spirit and His power fall into this category.  They try to turn the church into a socio/political gathering to benefit the poor.  Most don't teach that a person must be born again of the Spirit.
 It also speaks of a spirit of lawlessness that has been around for a long time.  This would be anarchy.  God tells us to respect civil authority.  
The man of lawlessness or the antichrist will take over the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem and demand to be worshiped as God.  
Added by George to complete the answer
2Pe 2:2  And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. 
2Pe 2:3  And in their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep. 
2Pe 2:2  Many will follow their immoral ways, and as a result, the way of the truth will be maligned. 
2Pe 2:3  In covetousness they will exploit you with deceptive words: whose sentence now from of old doesn’t linger, and their destruction will not slumber. 
Gill's Commentary
2 Peter 2:3
And through covetousness;.... Which is generally a prevailing vice among false teachers, they having no other end in view than themselves; either to gain popular applause and vain glory, which they are always covetous of; or to amass riches to themselves, after which they have an insatiable desire: 
shall they with feigned words; made words, words of their own devising, and not which the Holy Ghost teacheth; whereby they cover themselves, and privily introduce their pernicious principles; and therefore new words and phrases are always to be suspected and guarded against, especially in articles of moment and importance: or with flattering words and fair speeches, great swelling words of vanity, having men's persons in admiration, because of worldly advantage; and in this way they gain their point: 
 

KJV translates the Greek word agape as charity.  But neither that word or the word love adequately translate agape.  It is pure and godly self sacrificing giving of self, time and resources for the good of others.  It is motivated by our Creator and demonstrated by the Father giving His only begotten Son to die for our sins while we were yet undeserving sinners--so that we may have fellowship with Him.  
 
G26   (Word Study Dictionary)
ἀγάπη
agápē; gen. agápēs, fem. noun from agapáō (G25), to love. Love, affectionate regard, goodwill, benevolence. With reference to God's love, it is God's willful direction toward man. It involves God doing what He knows is best for man and not necessarily what man desires. For example, Joh 3:16 states, "For God so loved [ēgápēsen] the world, that he gave." What did He give? Not what man wanted, but what God knew man needed, i.e., His Son to bring forgiveness to man.
 
Love  (Vine)
(Noun and Verb)
A. Verbs.
1. agapao (G25) and the corresponding noun agape (B, No. 1 below) present "the characteristic word of Christianity, and since the Spirit of revelation has used it to express ideas previously unknown, inquiry into its use, whether in Greek literature or in the Septuagint, throws but little light upon its distinctive meaning in the NT. Cf, however, Lev 19:18; Deu 6:5.
"Agape and agapao are used in the NT (a) to describe the attitude of God toward His Son, Joh 17:26; the human race, generally, Joh 3:16; Rom 5:8, and to such as believe on the Lord Jesus Christ particularly Joh 14:21; (b) to convey His wiil to His children concerning their attitude one toward another, Joh 13:34, and toward all men, 1Th 3:12; 1Co 16:14; 2Pe 1:7; (c) to express the essential nature of God, 1Jn 4:8.
"Love can be known only from the actions it prompts. God's love is seen in the gift of His Son, 1Jn 4:9, 1Jn 4:10. But obviously this is not the love of complacency, or affection, that is, it was not drawn out by any excellency in its objects, Rom 5:8. It was an exercise of the divine will in deliberate choice, made without assignable cause save that which lies in the nature of God Himself, Cf. Deu 7:7, Deu 7:8.
"Love had its perfect expression among men in the Lord Jesus Christ, 2Co 5:14; Eph 2:4; Eph 3:19; Eph 5:2; Christian love is the fruit of His Spirit in the Christian, Gal 5:22.
"Christian love has God for its primary object, and expresses itself first of all in implicit obedience to His commandments, Joh 14:15, Joh 14:21, Joh 14:23; Joh 15:10; 1Jn 2:5; 1Jn 5:3; 2Jn 1:6. Selfwill, that is, self-pleasing, is the negation of love to God.
"Christian love, whether exercised toward the brethren, or toward men generally, is not an impulse from the feelings, it does not always run with the natural inclinations, nor does it spend itself only upon those for whom some affinity is discovered. Love seeks the welfare of all, Rom 15:2, and works no ill to any, Rom 13:8-10; love seeks opportunity to do good to 'all men, and especially toward them that are of the household of the faith,' Gal 6:10. See further 1 Corinthians 13 and Col 3:12-14."*
* From Notes on Thessalonians, by Hogg and Vine, p. 105.
In respect of agapao as used of God, it expresses the deep and constant "love" and interest of a perfect Being towards entirely unworthy objects, producing and fostering a reverential "love" in them towards the Giver, and a practical "love" towards those who are partakers of the same, and a desire to help others to seek the Giver. See BELOVED.
 

John was the only one who followed Jesus to the cross, and he mentioned that he was the one whom Christ loved.  But I believed He loved all the disciples just as we love our children.  They are all different and we have a slightly different relationship with each.  Peter James and John were at the transfiguration.   But Jesus left the care of his mother to John.  

One plants, another waters, but God gives the growth.  As long as a person produces fruit of some kind, it is pretty much God's problem.  We can urge them to read their bibles and pray daily, and to attend church regularly, and we can pray for them and that is about all.  We could form a small group bible study and invite them.  Many people do a lot of growing in this environment.  But it still comes down that this is the work of the Holy Spirit.  
We always say, it is our job to catch the fish but it is God's job to clean them.  And as long as they are connected to the vine, Christ will produce fruit in them.  I worry about the ones that find God's word being choked out by the world, the flesh and the devil.

There are many reasons for churches being established.  In the beginning it was because of language.  There was a need to hear the Scriptures and sermons in their own language.  But in time many churches departed from the teachings of Scripture and went their own way, slowly dying without the life of the Spirit working through God's Word.  So a remnant of true believers split off and restore Bible believing churches.  And history repeats itself.  
Some churches are established to reach certain groups that had been shunned by the other churches.  One reaches out to the homeless, another to alcoholics, another to disenchanted hippies.  Praise God for hearts of compassion!  We are always finding "unreached people groups" whether abroad or among ourselves.  

Luther believed he was living in the end times, and that the pope was the antichrist.  He makes the Revelation and allergy of his current events.  In "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God" he refers to the pope as satan himself.  He had good reason for his beliefs.  The pope was ignoring the Bible, trying to control all the catholic countries and to extract money from rich and poor alike to build the Basilica.  He did this mainly by the sale of "Indulgences" which were sold so a person could buy his way out of purgatory, a place that is not even mentioned in the 66 books of the Bible.  He claimed to be infallible in matters of faith yet he consistently refuted the Bible and made ungodly judgements.  He had excommunicated Luther for these reasons, refusing to reform the Catholic Church in the light of the teachings of Scripture, so Luther felt he had no choice but to go to war against the pope in defense of Scripture, especially since the pope was trying to have him killed.  
When believers trust in Christ's death and resurrection, God declares them righteous.  Their names are written in the Lamb's Book of Life.  There deeds would be evaluated as to whether they had done them following the Holy Spirit by faith--the Just shall live by his faith, and would be rewarded accordingly.   Their sins had already been paid for by the blood of Christ.   They would not appear before the great white throne judgement.  But unbelievers would be judged by their sins, especially for the sin of rejecting Christ.  
Rev 20:6  Blessed and holy is he who has part in the first resurrection. Over these, the second death has no power, but they will be priests of God and of Christ, and will reign with him one thousand years.
Rev 20:11  I saw a great white throne, and him who sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away. There was found no place for them. Rev 20:12  I saw the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne, and they opened books. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged out of the things which were written in the books, according to their works. Rev 20:13  The sea gave up the dead who were in it. Death and Hades gave up the dead who were in them. They were judged, each one according to his works.  Rev 20:14  Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire.  Rev 20:15  If anyone was not found written in the book of life, he was cast into the lake of fire.
Luther excluded those Old Testament books from the Bible that had been excluded by the Masoratic Jews.  Recent scholarship shows that this text was used in the Temple while Christ lived on earth and it was written in Hebrew. They were most meticulous in copying the old testament and it was found to be the most reliable.  Books written after the book of Daniel and before Christ were held suspect due to errors and lack of authenticity, so they were placed in a separate section and he held them unfit as a basis for doctrine.  But the warning at the end of the Revelation applies strictly to the scroll of the Revelation.  The scrolls were not printed in book form or assembled into a single book for several hundred years after their writing.  Calvinists and some German printers excluded the apocrapha from their bibles.  
He also wanted to exclude the book of James for its inclusion of works being necessary for salvation.  The rest of the New Testament is not as terse concerning this, claiming that salvation is a gift given to those true believers who have faith in Christ's death and resurrection for their sins. James claimed that saving faith will produce works.  Luther, like most catholics, had been in bondage to works, and was set free when the Holy Spirit showed him the verse "the just shall live by his faith'.  So he resisted any hint that he must return to the horrible bondage he had been freed from.  Jude was also suspect, as well as Hebrews because it is the only book that does not reveal it author.

I do read the Bible on my own.  But it is good to compare my interpretation with that of my pastor as well as that of other commentators.  My own pastor most often has agreed with what God has revealed to me, and he also compares his teaching with that of other great teachers.  
Even the apostle Paul compared his teaching and gospel with that of the church leaders in Jerusalem.  If we are too far afield from what others are teaching we may want to pray about it and reconsider our understanding.  I have had to do this several times while here on Worthy, the last time because I had confused God's foreknowledge with His predestination.  And God always gives us peace when we understand the teaching of the Holy Spirit.  He sets us free with the truth.  Lies or imperfect interpretation create confusion and a troubled spirit.  So we let the peace of God rule or act as an umpire in our hearts.  
There are foundational truths in Scripture that help us to understand other parts and subjects in the Bible as well.  They cause lightbulbs to go on in our mind and the new comprehension is exciting as Scripture interprets Scripture.  

Rom 8:16  The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, Rom 8:17  and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.  Rom 8:18  For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
ROMANS 8 is such a beautiful blessed chapter, until we come to those 5 words.  WHAT????  We have to suffer with Him to be glorified with Him?  But the next verse puts into perspective.  That our sufferings are outweighed by the glory that is to come.  We must keep our eyes on the prize.             
1Pe 4:12  Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.  1Pe 4:13  But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.  1Pe 4:14  If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.
That verse in  1 peter 4 always makes me laugh.  Speak about understatements.  We seem to get stuck in the middle of such drama and so often! One impossible predicament after another out of which only God could possibly have an answer and rescue us.  Maybe that is the point of it all that we have to learn--to lean all of our weight on God.  Our pastor says he doesn't need religion for a crutch.  He needs it for a gurney!  He needs God to carry him because he has no strength or answers for the trials of this life, let alone the trials of all he counsels.  
Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. Psa 61:2  From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.  Psa 61:3  For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy.
I finally told the Lord that I don't want any more mountain top experiences.  I don't want to fall from there into the valley of the shadow of death even if there are green pastures and still waters down there.  I just want to stay in the cleft of the Rock.
 Exo 33:21 Then the LORD said, “Behold, there is a place by Me, and you shall stand there on the rock;   Exo 33:22  and it will come about, while My glory is passing by, that I will put you in the cleft of the rock and cover you with My hand until I have passed by.  
Yup that's where I want to stay-- in a place by my LORD and covered by His hand.  Cozy and secure.  Trials come and go, but I remain covered by His hand and next to Him.
There is an example in the devotional Streams in The Desert that has stayed with me.  It is of a tree branch holding a birds nest.  This nest was hanging over a raging waterfall and swayed in the wind and turbulence.  But mama bird sat securely on the nest and safe from many threats and predators .  This was an illustration of God's peace.  It exists in the midst of those fiery trials when we are hidden in Christ in complete confidence of His provision and loving care.   Blessed be the Name of the Lord.