Ghostdog

please don't kill yourself by clayton jennings Please, don't kill yourself I'm talking to you And I don't pretend to know everything that you've been through But if it's shame you feel, just know that I've sinned too And if it's pain you're feeling Just know that that's something I went through I don't know your story, but I know you and me are a lot alike So let me talk to you for a minute while I've got this mic I was 18 when I pulled a gun out At the time it felt like my options had run out So I put that barrel to my chest, and I pulled the trigger halfway I tried to muster up the courage to put myself away that day But halfway with that trigger pulled, I stopped Tears flooded my eyes and that pistol dropped And I sat in my room and I sobbed for an hour On the outside I was fine, on the inside a coward The noise of my depression had gotten louder and louder I had planned a way out on a baptism shower of gunpowder I've been lied to just like you're being lied to now Other people can't help you, but I might know how Because I've walked in your shoes and I've been at my lowest And if you don't know anything, know this You might tell me you're gonna kill yourself and you're close to this But God wants to meet you in the middle of your hopelessness God wants to give you a way out of these feelings of doubt And the sounds of chaos might be reverberating around you like heavy metal But confusion isn't from God, it's straight from the devil And he wants to silence the noise and bring peace to you And I promise if you just ask him, he'll see you through You got to this place because you tried fighting your own fight And where did that get you except contemplating about taking your own life? And if you got bullied to this point I'm sorry you went through that But God wants to take those words From your attackers and send them back You don't have to be defined by what people said about you Let me pick you up if you don't know how to You're not alone, man, you've got a friend in me You got better days ahead of you, I just pray you begin to see Know that everything the devil did to you, he wants you to replay But everything the devil took from you, God wants to replace Listen to me right now, you better look me right in the face You were created for more than to die in this place Don't do it man, please, don't take your life Just take my hand we'll make this right I promise if you do this you'll regret it You wake up in eternity remember, I said it And you wished so bad you could just go back I'm here for you right now, please, just know that And if you think you're alone in this fight, you've been lied to That depression came after me and I nearly died too I thought suicide was the only way and death was meant for me The devil played his music and I sat front row through that symphony I walked through the fire and I felt that heat But I pushed past the clutter and I stood to my feet I walked out and I refuse to look back I took my depression and threw it right back, into that wood stack And that fire must have blazed 50 feet high And now I plan on leaving a legacy to look back on some day when I die And right now I'm telling you to stand up too Deep down inside, you know it's the right thing to do Think about your family, think about you Don't kill yourself, please, don't do it Whatever you're facing God will see you through it I had a fan kill himself and his mom asked if I could come see her She was depressed and asked if I could meet her Two weeks later depression beat her She ran into a telephone pole without a seat belt in a two seater And I wish right now I could crawl through these speakers And somehow convince you not to go the same route she did I wish I could change the fact that you feel defeated I wish I could lock my arms around you and tell the devil to beat it But I can't reach everyone even though I do my best to try Some people believe the lie that it's just best to die And they think it's the simple way out But they're not here to see the way things play out They don't see the hurt they caused, the pain they leave I take this seriously, this isn't a game to me Even thinking about ending your life is living dangerously So please, just listen to my voice, right now you have a choice You can choose life or you can get drowned by the noise Please, don't do it, please, just ask for help If not for your family, do it for yourself

this where i go sometimes please die by clayton jennings Look at you, you're pathetic And this isn't the first time I've said it Look at you standing tall with that chest puffed out Inside your insecurities are just dying to bust out You're a bust now You're lucky those pills haven't snuffed you out You cut your friends off, so you got nobody to trust now But you did this to you I hope you're proud every time you end up back in the news And you really think we care when you announce you're back in the booth Nobody's got your back, and it's true I hope I see you beat until you're black and you're blue Give me that head, and I'll crack it in two 'Cause the old you is missing when you were back with the crew Back then you had the anointing, and you were passionate, too I know you've thought about it, just do it you coward and fasten that noose That guilt keeps piling up, so who you passing it to? 'Cause God knows you never own up to your own mistakes You're a fraud in an industry of fakes Stiff spine? Yours bends 'til it breaks And you talk about Jesus, but you don't live like Him And you tell people to help others, but you don't give like them What ever happened to the old you? I knew you'd end up like this, man, I told you You spent more time dating than praying Cat got your tongue? Do you hear what I'm saying? Well, that cat's out of the bag now, and that spotlight's fading You could have been somebody, you could have done things right You got an army behind you, but you'd rather run than stand up and fight What's wrong with you man?! Wake up For God's sake, stop sulking your regrets and shape up This is bigger than you Don't you see? This is bigger than me Is this the man you want your daughter to see? One day, she'll grow up and say, "He was no father to me" And what about those kids who look up to you? You can't even drag yourself out of bed, man, what's up with you?! You were called to be different, and you were made to be great But when I see you, I see everything that I hate You're a messenger who's a mess, you're down and depressed And if you don't get help, you're gonna die like this I told myself I wouldn't cry like this But look at you man, what are you doing?! Watching you suffer like this is grueling But you chose to love your sin more than your Maker And you blame them for what happened, but you're the faker And you keep playing in the dirt like it's gonna satisfy you I might just pull this trigger, would you be mad if I do? Do it, coward, you won't because you're scared, too And don't blame me for where we're at, you were there, too You could have done something (I couldn't stop you!) You could have asked for help, but you didn't because of your pride Our sins are out in public now, and we have nothing to hide, and that kills you inside I'm the part of us who doesn't care about the past or what we do And you have no idea what your high expectations have put us through And now that we're failures, it kills you, too Give up the chip on your shoulder, Clayton, don't lie You're really the one who wants us to die So if you wanna pull a gun on us, here, so will I

years ago i messed around with a married woman i met here. i rewrote dan seals everything that glitters about that. Saw the picture that you posted, in a cafe out in Phoenix Guess you got a new sweetheart whose name is Joe As for me I’m still Ghosty, and I still chat at Worthy But in a hotel room that I now call home And I still pray for you all the time But I guess I never even cross your mind But oh sometimes I think about you And the way we used to hang out In my rebellion and your secrets With all the lust in the air And other men will always love you But as for me I've come to know Everything that glitters is not gold Well my faith is getting older, but last Saturday I stumbled But you know I never let that sin show In the Lord I’m still growing and I’m starting to ask questions Cause there's certain things a man just doesn't know Many birthdays came and you never even called I guess I never cross your mind at all But then sometimes I think about you And the way we used to hang out In my rebellion and your secrets With all the lust in the air And other men will always love you But as for me I've come to know Everything that glitters is not gold Everybody said I’d regret you one day And I guess that they were right is all I can say But someday I'm sure your gonna know the cost Cause for every heart you win, parts of yours is lost But oh sometimes I think about you And the way we used to hang out In my rebellion and your secrets With all the lust in the air And other men will always love you But as for me I've come to know Everything that glitters is not gold

thanks for more of these replies. its good to know that im not alone in struggling with addiction. sometimes it feels that way. there have been times when i wanted to end my life because i thought that would stop the pain and agony over going back and forth. especially after my first arrest. i lost everything. i lost my job, where i lived, all my money, friends and family, relationships with females and i ended up homeless. up til that point i was living good. i had a good paying job, i had many things, i had both self-respect and respect from people, i was sort of popular. i said that " my kingdom burned" and there was nothing i could do about it. toady im trying to rebuild some of that back and im working on getting this out of my life because if i dont then im just gonna lose what i managed to rebuild already. the other day when i was reading what was said i was reminded that a person from an organization asked me if i was intrested in a mens group that they have for other people who struggle with addictions and its not a na or aa type of thing but its just a group of guys who meet up every 2 weeks and encourage each other. i told him i would be and he said that he would get back to me about the next time there was a meeting. i havent heard back from him and i forgot about it until yesterday. im gonna call him and see when the next meeting is.

thank you for your responses. i wasnt sure what kind i would get so i was hesitant to post this. i 1/2 expected resondes like "youre not a christian at all". when i was in prison i took some programs that helped me figure out the why of my addiction. and i learned that i do it to offset the negitive emotions i feel. i deal with loneliness, some depression, unhappiness, a lot of it centers around what i perceive as a man. i see what a man should be and i dont measure up. to me a man is physically strong and im not. most of my life i weighed less than 120 lbs im built lean and skinny. so i tried to prove myself worthy of a woman and when that failed i would go into negative feelings then to my fix.

for most of my life ive had an addiction. when i started i was young and i didnt realize it would lead to an addiction. this addiction lead to my first arrest in 2011, then in 2016, 2018 and finally may of this year. i served 2 prison sentances in between those times. the last few years i finally admitted i have a problem. back when i was younger i prayed many times for God to remove this from my life and it seems that He wont. i guess i thought that i would pray and God would answer and remove it and then life would be good. i havent had any cravings lately but i did go back to it a few weeks ago. there are days when i question my salvation over it. can a person be a christian and still go back to an addiction? i would think not. its the whole putting away the flesh and all that. idk.

it is meanless unlees your in high school or want to get elected

a person can learn to appreciate money when they have none and are homeless. at least that's been my experience.

nope i dont care if a person is vaccinated or not ill hang out with them

its not that im afraid to die its the fact that i dont want to get sick and then pass it on to my loved ones or cause an outbreak in the building im living in

There's been times in my life when I wanted to end it. I even begged God to take me away. When i reach those points i remind myself of all the times of people who needed a smile and i provided one.

according to ecc 1:4 the earth will not pass away but in rev 21:1 it says that there will be a new earth so which is it? Ecc 1:4 One generation passes away, and another generation comes; But the earth abides forever. Rev 21:1 Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea.

welcome back

my first memory of church was when i was maybe 4 and my family lived on the rez at the time so the only church there was was an rcc. my godmother took me but i dont really remember anything bout it other than that.

im a leftie and i print my writing skills r readable

ill stick to the tim taylor man's kitchen ty

i sometimes like to try to figure these things out

i mean the space of 1/2 an hr could be 83.32 yrs

rev 8:1 And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour. 2 peter 3: 8 But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. if you were to put them together you get the time of 83.32 years.

happy canada day! oh...Canada by classified Sample of "O Canada"](O Canada! We stand on guard, for thee)(O Canada!)(O Canada!)(O Canada!)(O Canada!)[talking behind Intro: Classified]I told this guy where I was fromHe said "oh, Canada"Kind of laughed it off, real funny, huh?Yeah, uh, come onOne two, one twoMic. check, one two, one twoYeah[Verse 1: Classified]Uh, yeah, from the land of the lost, Trans-Canada crossPatriotic and I honor with my hand on my heartFrom the greatest of lakes to the greenest of greensTo the rockiest mountains and everything in between(Oh, oh), oh Canada, oh you no fan of us'Cause our movies and TV shows are so amateur? (ha)Yes we laugh it off, that don't really bother meLook we ain't serious unless we really got to beHumorous attitude like Kidz In The HallOr Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, heck we claimin 'em allIt's the great white north, home of the funniest actors (O Canada!)The butt of the joke with an abundance of laughterThe red and white flag, keep it high, keep it visualPeople say Canada and get stereotypicalThink we finish every sentence with "buddy" or "bye"And if it ain't that, it's either "dude, " "eh, " or "guy"Canadaka eh, yeah we considerate peopleAnd smokin marijuana, we consider it legalStill doin rap like the 1990'sBut that's how we like it, off time20and grimy[Chorus: Classified ("O Canada! " - repeated in the background)]I know where I'm from and I told ya beforeNorth of America, hard to ignoreEvery time I go away I tell them for sureI'm from Canada, oh-oh-oh CanadaOh Canada, oh-oh-oh CanadaI'm from Canada, oh-oh-oh Canada[Break: x4]When Class makes a sick beat, we call it a classic[Verse 2: Classified]I've been around the globe and heard the confusionHonestly a lot of y'all are ignorant and stupidYes, we have microwaves, TVs and cell phonesUnintelligent folk, we invented the telephoneWe made Yahtzee, the lightbulb, hockeyAnd bred the greatest players - Gretzky to CrosbyWe all got at least one drinking buddyAnd after one drink, all of us think we're funny (O Canada!)Our national mascot's a dang beaverOh Canada, we love our beaver (O Canada!)Home of Hells Angels and RCMPHome of Gordon Lightfoot and SCTVNo doubt, the underground railroadGeorges St-Pierre, right here is where he call homeOur health care system, y'all know it's freeKeep our girls bangin with a full mouth of teethI won't even get into the music industryThey say hip hop is dead, nah it's up north with meI could do this all day, it's a part of my routineBut supper's almost done and tonight - poutine![Chorus: Classified ("O Canada! " - repeated in the background)]I know where I'm from and I told ya beforeNorth of America, hard to ignoreEvery time I go away I tell them for sureI'm from Canada, oh-oh-oh Canada(I'm from the east coast of Canada)O-oh-oh Canada(I'm from the east, east, east coast)Yo-yo, no doubtYeah I'm from Canada, so sometimes words come out of my mouth like thisGet used to it!(O Canada! We stand on guard, for thee!)

yesterday i saw a video of 2 people who redid the pokemon theme song with christian lyrics and it was really bad

i dont waste mmy time forwarding those things

i wondered this because i did some damage to my hearing on mon and i started thinking bout how or if it could be healed. on the plus side the ringing stopped yesterday morning.

ya thats what i meant