I ask Jesus right now to open your eyes, give you the understanding that will break this attack of the enemy. I pray that you will comprehend the magnitude of Jesus' love for you, that He freely suffered and gave His life for you, and would gladly have done it if you were the only one it would benefit.
I pray that Jesus will give you the courage to fully put your trust in Him, and the humility to reach out to Him, asking Him to confirm in you the salvation that He bought for you 2000 years ago.
I recommend you find a way to get more involved in God's word. One way would be the Youversion app. It has a choice of good bible translations, many with audio as well as text. It has a verse-of-the-day feature which it can remind you of each day. There are reading plans, including at least one Bible-in-a-year program from Our Daily Bread.
I pray that you will find a way to remind yourself to be in the word regularly. May God bless you as you seek to know Him better.
PS. No, I don't think you are hell-bound. Jesus has a different plan for your life.