Do I understand what you're saying? Yes yet how can we possibly know what someone else is dealing with, how much "progress" they've made? Besides the Holy Spirit prompts people to change - He knows what He's suppose to do - you know, He's got it covered - changing them, changing me.
Instead of thinking about their short comings, it helps when you look at other believers and say - they are a saint! and ask the Lord to bless them. We're renewing our minds then.
Look at Barnabas, he convinced the other apostles that Saul/Paul had changed and got them to accept him (Acts 9). But when Barnabas was compassionate & encouraging about taking John Mark with them (the same role he had done on Paul's behalf), he and Paul had such a disagreement that they went in different directions (Acts 15). Yet in II Tim4, Paul is talking how valuable John Mark is to his ministry. So our Creator is going to use people to refine me and vice versa.
Plus it doesn't relieve me from the commandment to love them.