Sir Gareth Posted August 3, 2009 Group: Senior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 73 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 540 Content Per Day: 0.10 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/11/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/26/1980 Share Posted August 3, 2009 I have been praying about this for some time and need help with it. There is a woman at my church, very nice and religious, she is a sunday school teacher and head of VBS every year. She is also very attractive and wears tight/revealing clothing to church (not like really bad but bad enough.) I'm not sure if I sshould say anything to her or what but i find myself being attracted to her and since we are both married that is very wrong. I want to serve Christ and do his will and this is an embrassing problem to talk about but i feel i need to ask someone for advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smalcald Posted August 3, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 32 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 5,258 Content Per Day: 0.76 Reputation: 42 Days Won: 3 Joined: 06/16/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/22/1960 Share Posted August 3, 2009 My advice would be to talk to another women in your congregation who you trust with your concerns. See what she thinks and if it is a big issue than have a women in the congregation talk to her. The only thing to keep in mind is that people are very very sensitive about their clothing you are basically telling her she is dressed kind of like a tramp, so how is she going to take that? Maybe she is just a good looking women physically and any regular clothing she wears is going to look revealing in your eyes? Frankly if it is not that bad, personally I would let it go, the damage you do may be greater than the benefits you seek. Also what the heck is her husband going to think if you talk to her about it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningGlory Posted August 3, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1,022 Topics Per Day: 0.16 Content Count: 39,193 Content Per Day: 6.09 Reputation: 9,977 Days Won: 78 Joined: 10/01/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted August 3, 2009 Oh don't be embarrassed, Sir Gareth. The good Lord made you to be attracted to women and that's not a bad thing. Since you're married however....ask for God's help in avoiding temptation. I'm very familiar with women wearing tight, low cut clothing to church (saw several examples today; i.e., shorts, halter top dresses, low cut summer blouses and short skirts.) and I really feel that women should not dress as temptresses in the Lord's house. They are not necessarily loose women or bad people....just lacking common sense. I wouldn't talk to the woman herself about this. Talk to your pastor (without naming the woman) and ask his guidance then make sure you're not alone with her. Taking temptation out of your path will often derail the situation. I will pray for you to be strong and to avoid anything that could hurt your marriage and your faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest man Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 I have been praying about this for some time and need help with it. There is a woman at my church, very nice and religious, she is a sunday school teacher and head of VBS every year. She is also very attractive and wears tight/revealing clothing to church (not like really bad but bad enough.) I'm not sure if I sshould say anything to her or what but i find myself being attracted to her and since we are both married that is very wrong. I want to serve Christ and do his will and this is an embrassing problem to talk about but i feel i need to ask someone for advice. I think since you are already attracted to her, there's very little that can be done about her appearance. Modest clothing isn't going to take away the feelings you're having. You need to approach the Lord in all honesty and ask Him to harden your heart to the emotions you're feeling toward this woman. You can also ask Him to harden your heart to the woman herself. That doesn't mean you'll end up hating her. It just means the feelings you're having will go away. Do this as often as you can, and if you're truly honest with yourself and the Lord, He will take away that lust you're feeling. It'll work if you want it too. It worked for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunterpoet Posted August 3, 2009 Group: Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service Followers: 0 Topic Count: 128 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,704 Content Per Day: 0.44 Reputation: 25 Days Won: 1 Joined: 05/29/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/08/1950 Share Posted August 3, 2009 I'm sure you are doing so, but I stress taking this to the Lord. In as much as her behavior may be unworthy, the problem is yours, in that you are attracted to her and married. There is also a woman at my church who wears tight and revealing clothing. At the very least, the Lord has taught me the value of averting my eyes. Squelching any thoughts that try to gain ground in my thinking with a simple NO, and if need be a prayer. I would advise that you do not approach her. Take this to the pastor and discuss it with him and only him. At the pastors direction, maybe some of the senior women can have an influence on her manner of dress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningGlory Posted August 3, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1,022 Topics Per Day: 0.16 Content Count: 39,193 Content Per Day: 6.09 Reputation: 9,977 Days Won: 78 Joined: 10/01/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted August 3, 2009 I have been praying about this for some time and need help with it. There is a woman at my church, very nice and religious, she is a sunday school teacher and head of VBS every year. She is also very attractive and wears tight/revealing clothing to church (not like really bad but bad enough.) I'm not sure if I sshould say anything to her or what but i find myself being attracted to her and since we are both married that is very wrong. I want to serve Christ and do his will and this is an embrassing problem to talk about but i feel i need to ask someone for advice. Attraction has nothing to do with clothing, revealing or not. You being attracted to her is not even a problem. There are plenty of attractive women out there, but...are you like a moth to a flame, or a passer-by at an auto accident (couldn't think of anything else). I'm not saying that you are suppose to be gawking at her, but attraction is not a sin. You may want to discuss the issue with an elder, that way they can speak to the women. If you are being drawn into lust, then it should be addressed, for we dont want the saints to cause any to stumble. Absolutely, ruck. Women have this problem too; if I am drawn to a married man I will immediately distance myself from him. I've seen too many go down that path and God is clear in his commandments about coveting that which is your neighbor's (be it a BMW or a spouse, it's wrong.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Openly Curious Posted August 3, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 4,568 Content Per Day: 0.68 Reputation: 770 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/18/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted August 3, 2009 ='Sir Gareth' date='Aug 2 2009, I have been praying about this for some time and need help with it. There is a woman at my church, very nice and religious, she is a sunday school teacher and head of VBS every year. She is also very attractive and wears tight/revealing clothing to church (not like really bad but bad enough.) I'm not sure if I should say anything to her or what but i find myself being attracted to her and since we are both married that is very wrong. I want to serve Christ and do his will and this is an embrassing problem to talk about but i feel i need to ask someone for advice. 'Sir Gareth' If you are are having trouble concealing the lust of the flesh Galatians 6 then you should find a good person in the Lord to confess too and they will help you be restored to the faith. I think this person should be your pastor. Your pastor can also instruct his wife to speak unto this woman only if she truly is dressing in a wrong manner. But this matter should be dealt with in private not in front of others. I don't think it's your place to tell this lady about her clothes that to me would be very wrong on you part seeing you already have bad thoughts and feelings towards her. This woman and her faithfulness to the Christian faith is solid and you should not do anything to destroy her ministry, or her testimony in the Lord or her faithfulness too God. OC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Elly Posted August 3, 2009 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 415 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 15 Days Won: 2 Joined: 07/31/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/02/1945 Share Posted August 3, 2009 The bible is clear on modesty in dress for women. Perhaps this woman you are speaking of has never read, or paid attention to that part of the bible. A godly woman should not dress in a tempting or revealing outfit because it can / will lead to sexual thoughts by the opposite sex. I went to this church with my husband who is not a christian. Many of the young girls / women dressed in extremely short, tight mini skirts. My husband was very disapproving of this. He said, these women are a distraction and they want to advertise, or they wouldn't do it. I spoke with the assistant pastor about it (it was his daughter) and he just laughed it off. He said that his wife picked out the girl's outfits. Personally I think it is a sin to dress in a manner to tempt a man (or woman) to committ adultery in his / her heart. I believe this backed up by scripture. Of course some people would think lustful thoughts if the person wore a burlap bag, but that is beside the point. When I was a teenager we did not have that problem, or if it did happen the person in question was approached by one of the women churchmembers about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgedrw81 Posted August 3, 2009 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,823 Content Per Day: 0.33 Reputation: 36 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/10/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted August 3, 2009 I am drawn to a married man I will immediately distance myself from him. I've seen too many go down that path and God is clear in his commandments about coveting that which is your neighbor's (be it a BMW or a spouse, it's wrong.) Right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Magdalena~ Posted August 3, 2009 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 15 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 1 Joined: 08/03/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted August 3, 2009 I have been praying about this for some time and need help with it. There is a woman at my church, very nice and religious, she is a sunday school teacher and head of VBS every year. She is also very attractive and wears tight/revealing clothing to church (not like really bad but bad enough.) I'm not sure if I sshould say anything to her or what but i find myself being attracted to her and since we are both married that is very wrong. I want to serve Christ and do his will and this is an embrassing problem to talk about but i feel i need to ask someone for advice. Please don't take offense at this but your lust happens to be your responsibility to micromanage -- not hers, not other women's and not the church's. You need to stop regarding this as her issue; it clearly hasn't been her issue at all, but yours, and only yours, from the start. If you make it an issue with her, you will wound her heart, and brother, no matter how much you struggle, it's not worth it to do that. Please seriously consider taking responsibility for yourself instead of making this her problem. PLEASE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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