Why do people form cliques?

[Guest JohnSC]

Due to a tremendous need to feel wanted, people in general tend to drift into any group or organization that makes them feel welcome and accepted. Almost no one will remain around any crowd when they feel unwanted. The need to feel wanted is sometimes so great that people will join groups such as Heaven's Gate and actually allow themselves to die, just to fit in.

Untold numbers of people flee Christianity every week because they feel unwanted or out of place in their church, and when they are met with the open and welcome arms of another religion or ideology (composed of equally shunned individuals who 'feel their pain'), the people will gladly accept the new group and then defend it to the very end. We humans are not as 'brain smart' as we try to convince ourselves to be, we are still ruled by emotions and instincts (both genetic and learned).

Cliques however appear to be a little different in their manner of not finding a group to belong to, but rather creating their own, basing their unspoken social order on what appears to be like a family bonding but frequently more intense. Since I am not a member of a clique (aside from the possible definition that a family is a clique), I cannot say with conviction what might drive people to form one, but it appears to me that they are formed perhaps due to a duality of impulses, that of needing to feel wanted as well as finding a common shared interest amongst the group. As with all else in Creation, the more ingredients added to a mixture, the more strongly 'flavored' and unique is the creation.

Teenagers who are into computers or any form of technology are often called "geeks", and they have their little cliques, but at the same time they are open to new members who share the same interests, and their cliques remain small mainly due to so few people caring to fit in with the 'geek look'. Of the unfavorable cliques I perceive are mainly be discussed here, their shared interests are usually based not upon technology or ideology, but rather only on bad manners. The sole life of the clique is to remain small and attempt to 'prove' their superiority by claiming everyone else of inferiority.

In the physical laws of Creation, like things oppose, but in the spiritual laws, like things attract. Displeasing cliques appear to be formed upon the attraction of displeasing spiritual values. Whatsoever the creation be, it is the foundation that marks the final aroma.

[Guest kitkat]

-In that light I can see how those people thought

[Guest Called]

do you have a family clique. Is there someone in your family that is excluded?

Okay, so talk about conviction! Thanks alot! LOL!

My sisters and I kind of exclude my brother. He is 10 years older than I am and I am the oldest girl. He is 40 and he has three kids, so we don't have alot on common with him, so we never see him except on holiday's. I see now that we need to include him more.

[Guest dollface]

KAT,

I am self employed also being new to these sites it is nice to read post and get answers at everyones convenience. Reading these posts it seems like certain people just talk to certain people they are familiar with. It is nice when you are included in the topics.

I picked this topic for this reason.

I watched and listened to someone that was the topic of a clique. The lead cliquer had me convinced and everyone else that this person was a controlling person someone to be leary of, watch out for her. The one being talked about never did or said anything that would make me feel that way. The person everyone talked to for info. the most popular person was trusted and everyone just believed her.

A few years later and guess what, new enemy..... ME Knowing what I new from before with her previous target, I brought it to her attention. :x: same exact things were being said about me. Controlling someone to be leary of don't say anything to her she will bite your head off.With an new twist.

Now you would think everyone would remember what was said about last target.Instead now the one that was picked on before was a member of the group of cliquers.

It has given me a new sympathy for people that are not included in anything. Sometimes the person causing the problems the one everyone calls for info. eliminates people just calling to say hi.They just go to the main info. supplier. In the process satan wins in his web of (gossip)sin,and some are excluded and lonely..

Pro 18:8 The words1697 of a talebearer5372 are as wounds,3859 and they1992 go down3381 into the innermost parts2315 of the belly.990

So what is gossip can anyone define it. So it stays out of groups of well meaning people. :x:

And cliques how can you make sure no one takes over and no one feels threatened or left out. :hug:

[Guest LCPGUY]

Yup, there

[Guest Called]

Well, if I have excluded anyone here on Worthy I will be the first to stand up and apologize! It wasn't intentional. Of course, I could be the one being excluded! HA!

[Kay]

How true John

And Kat thanks for posting this thread. Interesting enough I really had to pray on this one. I think sometimes people want to feel like they are part of the elite of any group they join.

My daughter competed in gymnastics nationally. She received a scholarship for college. She was always treated differently. As her mom I was accused of not socializing with all the parents. It cracks me up all I did was drive her to practice; leave to take care of her brothers and pick her up. At the meets the tension is so thick; and most of the time during her jr elite days I couldn't afford to follow her; she traveled nationally.

Angie also suffered being stalked by a photographer. She wanted to be just part of her student body after all was done. He college coaches were great in protecting her, as well as, the campus police.

This brought back memories of hard days

Love

Kay

[Guest dollface]

Has any one noticed an increased amount of people talking on cell phones. Everywere I go all I see down the grocery isle, in the cars, talking while they are shopping, checking out at the regester. In restaurants while they are eating :suspect: with someone else :oww: ? What the heck do they have to say that can't wair till they get home? Am I missing something I wouldnt know what to say for that length of time. Did they come from another planet?

What doooooooooo they talk about. I really want to know, I am beginning to think I have a problem because I don't talk on the phone.HELP I need to know if it is a new disease. I would like to tell those poor people there is a cure and help them.

my best friend JESUS we talk all the time. I do not know if I have time for the new cell disease. My friend JESUS :hug: would be sad if I didn't have time for him.

[Guest kitkat]

KAT,

I am self employed also being new to these sites it is nice to read post and get answers at everyones convenience. Reading these posts it seems like certain people just talk to certain people they are familiar with. It is nice when you are included in the topics.

I picked this topic for this reason.

I watched and listened to someone that was the topic of a clique. The lead cliquer had me convinced and everyone else that this person was a controlling person someone to be leary of, watch out for her. The one being talked about never did or said anything that would make me feel that way. The person everyone talked to for info. the most popular person was trusted and everyone just believed her.

A few years later and guess what, new enemy..... ME Knowing what I new from before with her previous target, I brought it to her attention. :x: same exact things were being said about me. Controlling someone to be leary of don't say anything to her she will bite your head off.With an new twist.

Now you would think everyone would remember what was said about last target.Instead now the one that was picked on before was a member of the group of cliquers.

It has given me a new sympathy for people that are not included in anything. Sometimes the person causing the problems the one everyone calls for info. eliminates people just calling to say hi.They just go to the main info. supplier. In the process satan wins in his web of (gossip)sin,and some are excluded and lonely..

Pro 18:8 The words1697 of a talebearer5372 are as wounds,3859 and they1992 go down3381 into the innermost parts2315 of the belly.990

So what is gossip can anyone define it. So it stays out of groups of well meaning people. :x:

And cliques how can you make sure no one takes over and no one feels threatened or left out. :hug:

I thought what you said had a lot of merit. Interesting how the person who was the target of the clique became a member of the clique. I believe that the person holding the 'power'' in the clique is requred to say something bad about a person in order to hold that power over the others. The others go along, because if they don't, they run the risk of becoming the target. This is what I think gossip is partly. An attempt to maniplulate or hold power over others for personal reasons. I'm sure there are other reasons equally as good or should I say bad?

I think that in human behavior, there are natural leaders and natural followers. To be able to tell if a person has Christ in their heart and thus treats their fellow brothers and sisters with compassion should be fairly easy to determine. Like I mentioned in my original post, cliques are where people congregate usually for personal reasons and friendships are where people congregate unselfishly. I'll take the latter any day.

Oh and BTW, welcome to Worthy Bboards, I hope you find fellowship here as I have!

God bless,

Kat

:hug:

[Guest kitkat]

Yup, there