Site about Divorce

[artsylady]

1Ti 3:1 This [is] a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.

1Ti 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;

1Ti 3:3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;

1Ti 3:4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;

1Ti 3:5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

Does the husband of one wife mean non-polygamous, as polygamy was practised then?

The man who is divorced and remarried has just one wife.

[artsylady]

You are trying to look far and wide for loopholes in scripture to justify divorce.

I'm just trying to look at scripture itself. Does putting away mean separating without giving a divorce, and THAT is what God hates? Would God hate a woman divorcing a man who is abusive to her, or offering to share her with other men, or playing mind games?

I said before I am wondering if the points from this site are right, wrong, partly right or partly wrong and wanted to discuss it. I think the site gives some interesting points, like God separating the women from the men and giving them as wives to other men.,. Is this not worth at least discussing?

If you search the scriptures, you will see that there are none but what Christ and Paul gave. It was said that out of the hardness of the heart that Moses granted them the decree of divorce, but Christ nullified this decree.

Is lusting after another woman considered adultry (yes).... and grounds for divorce?

It seems the church has is black and white on this, but is scripture less black and white?

Is it wrong for a woman or man to leave a physically abusive marriage? The Bible doesn't say so but the church usually does say it's okay.

Do not take what someone say as scripture because you like what they are saying. Take what they say and place it beside scripture to see if it lines up with the word of God. If it does, then accept it with happiness. If it does not, either reject it as false teaching or take the persons word over His word.

I agree, that's why I said this....

I'm not necessarily disagreeing. I'd like to know if this site is just all wrong, or partly wrong or even if it is right.... and what others think.

Have you ever really examined all of the scriptures surrounding divorce/separation? Have you ever been in a hopeless marriage?

[OneLight]

Have you ever really examined all of the scriptures surrounding divorce/separation? Have you ever been in a hopeless marriage?

Yes, I have been through scripture with a fine tooth comb, begging Him for understand in every way because of a situation I have been in for the past four years. I will not get into specifics in public, but will let my answer remain as Yes.

To me, nothing is hopeless unless I give up waiting for Him to move in the situation, having decided to do it my way.

[artsylady]

I don't know. There are questions I am asking that you haven't answered.

I am just not sure the answers are always so black and white.

[OneLight]

Where does scripture say believers can divorce because of sexual impurity outside of marriage?

I realize that impurity is the wrong word. It should of been immorality.

Matthew 5:31-32 (New King James Version)

Marriage Is Sacred and Binding

31 “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

I would see this for both the wife and the husband.

[artsylady]

Matthew 19:9

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

[OneLight]

I don't know. There are questions I am asking that you haven't answered.

I am just not sure the answers are always so black and white.

People do have a tendency to put color to words when they are black or white. Just as some seek a sign when they have the word.

I am not sure if I can answer your questions without divulging my situation in public, so I will refrain from answering them at this point.

[artsylady]

"It's okay to divorce."

The overwhelming majority of Protestant churches do believe it is okay to divorce for marital unfaithfulness.

Onelight: I think you said separation is okay, but not divorce, however scripture says NOT to separate from physical intimacy lest there be temptation. So if you were to separate, it seems the thing to do would be to keep having physical intimacy.

I understand that you don't want to divulge personal info and i respect that, but I'm not sure why you feel you have to discuss anything personally to a question like is it wrong to divorce or separate if you are physically abused? Most churches would tell a wife who's being beaten to go to a shelter where the husband can't find her or beat her. Do you think this is good or bad advice?

[artsylady]

Jesus said "I will never leave you or forsake you." But He does not say it's okay to get a divorce. When I've been through the worse in my marriage, I always ask myself "Have I tried everything?" The answer is always no because I am to wait on Him. Of course our Savior doesn't hate you.

It says it is okay to get a divorce in the case of marital unfaithfulness.

QUOTE (artsylady @ Feb 3 2010, 12:17 PM)

Is it wrong for a woman or man to leave a physically abusive marriage? The Bible doesn't say so but the church usually does say it's okay.

It's not wrong as long as the marriage bed is kept pure and both parties are working on reconciliation.

So what if isn't working on reconciliation? Can she divorce him? What if the marriage bed is not pure?

Yes, I have examined them in depth.

I thought I had too, but am wondering if there is more...... or not... ?

At this point, I could not tell another Christian that they cannot get a divorce if a) spouse is cheating b) spouse is physically abusive and not changing

I know also a couple where the husband seems to have departed from the marriage a long time ago. He leaves her, neglects her in every way possible, won't go anywhere with her unless there's a group, won't even go to weddings with her... But he stays with her because he doesn't want to give her half the money they've saved. So has he left her in every way emotionally and physically except he still resides with her. Could this be abandonment of the unbelieving spouse?

[Smalcald]

Christians don't need more excuses to divorce we are already divorcing at rates at least as high and sometimes HIGHER than non-believers.

But is divorce some kind of horrible sin according to God, or is there just a stigma to those who are divorced based on religiousity?

No, in fact in some circumstances divorce is not a sin at all.

However being divorced because we are unhappy or married to someone we no longer feel like we love or is cold and unfeeling and not loving etc. is not a Christian or biblical reason for divorce. That is called the cross of Christ which we are all called to carry at some point. We should be able to handle that for Christ, we may be called to do something much more difficult.

I don't think there is that much stigma surrounding divorce there is some, I know some people on this board for example are really really hard on divorce, but in general I don't think there is a stigma, how could there be; at least half of all evangelicals are divorced?

Maybe we over react to divorce because it is such a problem in the evangelical Churches?

But anyway I do think we need support for people who have divorced AND we need to encourage Christians considering divorce to not divorce. Of course there are the extreme examples, horrible abuse, and serial cheating and so forth I am not talking about those cases, those are not the majority of reasons people get divorced. People get divorced because they are unhappy, not in love and want something else, and this often leads to an affair or sometimes not, that is the most common reason.

We cannot raise another generation of Christian children who have never seen a lifelong marriage.

But yes we should not stigmatize divorced people and it is certainly forgivable if it was a sinful divorce.