its got me

[ayin jade]

The best way is through the Lord, not Buddha.

[rejoicevermore]

The best way is through the Lord, not Buddha

AMEN.... AMEN....AMEN

Buddha is a creation. JESUS CHRIST IS THE CREATOR.

Edited August 27, 2004 by rejoicevermore

[wordsower]

Phillip,

Your problem is not pornography.

Surprised?

Pornography is just what you are using to deal with your problem, the symptom. Like when you have a zit. The problem isn't the zit, it's the infection under the skin causing the zit.

You mentioned your mom, step-dad, sister, her kids, all having problems and negging you out. You expected to get out of prison and have all of them help you and support you and they let you down. You feel like you are all alone to figure out what to do with your life and your problems so you just hide out in a destructive world of pornography.

(shut me up if I'm wrong)

Now, the good news is. Your family and friends are not your source. God is. He is the one who is going to help you get out of your situation, deal with your rejections, heal your heart from past hurts and mistakes, He is going to be your everything, if you will let Him.

You feel condemned and unworthy because of your position in life at this present time.

If you are sure you have trusted Jesus to be your Lord and Savior and you have repented that you are a sinner and asked Him into your life then you, my friend, are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. Through the blood God sees you as righteous! Is that cool or what?? You have an identity crisis, you don't know who you are. You are an heir to the Most High God. If He's for you, who is gonna be against you?

Brother, get into a good church that is growing in the Lord and preaching the cross. Get into some study group with people your age and start to disconnect yourself from this past life. I don't know what you went to prison for and it doesn't matter, you are a new creture in Christ. He died to make you whole. Study your bible and ask God to speak to you and show you His plan for your life. Stay in communion with Him and praise His Holy Name, He loves you!

Say "Abba, I belong to you." all throughout the day, it helps me to remember who I am in Christ. I have issues too my friend, we all do, I've never had a problem with pornography but I've got my own issues. When you get that identity crisis settled, think about all of the unfortunate lost people that participate in pornography. Runaways and kidnapped kids and drug abusers and lost people with so many more problems than you have. They are lost, they are sad, they are pitiful, they don't know Christ and your support of that industry is feeding the monsters that use them.

Pornography hardens your soul and changes your heart. Intimacy with a good, loving wife will be forever changed with that garbage in your head. Perversion is of the devil and pornography is an open door to demonic activity.

Praying for you.

[rockswillcryout]

May I recommend a book to you?

"Not Even A Hint" by Joshua Harris. It changed my life and how I understand what lust is and what it does to people.

You can find a great support system here at Worthy! Keep posting - the people here will embrace you and do what they can to support you. They will also pray hard! Post some request in the Prayer forum and let us pray for you.

I'm glad you are seeking help and what you are going through is one of the most difficult additions out there. Keep perserving and God will help you through this.

[Aquilla]

Take steps to protect yourself.

I find that my e-mail accounts are often the trigger that leads to temptation.

Use your spam filter and block all emails with smut subject matter.

Dont open them!

Curiousity killed the cat.

I remember one email that came, and it said my name and how so and so missed me and loved me, and I opened it to see the most horrible unimaginable images.

God is not pleased with Spammers who send you these things.

Know that satan is behind it.

One might consider giving up the internet for a time.

One might also consider getting married, for it is better to marry than to burn.

First of all , seek the Kingdom of God, if happily you be strengthened with the Lords presence.

He will heal your conscience and make you innocent as a child, when you put on his righteousness.

Not forgetting to wear the Armor provided.

Namely , the helmet of Salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of Faith, the Feet shod with the Preparation of the Gospel of Peace, and of course your Sword.

Jesus is the Author and Finisher of your faith. In getting closer to him and in fellowship with him, you will have light to put on the dark place of your heart and expose the things hidden there.

Gods presence in your heart will restore you to his ways. But you have to seek him in prayer.

Do your devotions.

Praying, reading scripture, meditating his words, praising him { God inhabits the praises of his people}, listening after prayer if perchance the Father might speak to you...

Also work to confirm your salvation, be baptised in water and in spirit as per

Joh 3:5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.

Also John the Baptists words...

Joh 1:32 And John bare record, saying, I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and it abode upon him.

Joh 1:33 And I knew him not: but he that sent me to baptize with water, the same said unto me, Upon whom thou shalt see the Spirit descending, and remaining on him, the same is he which baptizeth with the Holy Ghost.

So our Lord to fulfill all righteousness, was himself Baptised in Water, and the witness of the descending dove, revealed who it was that would Baptise in the Holy Spirit.

We get saved and think thats all there is, but wait, there is more, there is always more, go deeper, realise your potential in the Kingdom of God.

Be a God pleaser, work to bring Joy to Gods heart, as all of heaven witnesses our deeds, there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, surrender your heart to Jesus, yield to him , and as he said :

Mat 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Mat 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

Mat 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Get Jesus in your heart, and the light that exposes darkness will set up a guard over your heart. Be filled with the Love of God.

The Lord chose one man to feed his sheep, Peter and in his second letter he gives us a word about living this life and walking this walk...

2Pe 1:2 Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord,

2Pe 1:3 According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:

2Pe 1:4 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

2Pe 1:5 And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;

2Pe 1:6 And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;

2Pe 1:7 And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.

2Pe 1:8 For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

2Pe 1:9 But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.

2Pe 1:10 Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:

2Pe 1:11 For so an entrance shall be ministered unto you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

2Pe 1:12 Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of these things, though ye know them, and be established in the present truth.

Be seriously honest with the Father in prayer.

and work to fortify your position in the Kingdom by seeking all the Father has provided to walk this walk.

I pray that all chains of Bondage will be broken, In Jesus Name , Father, I bind the work of satan, I pray you will bring our brother to the place of fellowship with you.

In Jesus Love....

[Guest SavedOn22June03]

Please contact or join our group for help. We are there for you!

Spiritual Warfare Training Center Luke 10:19 Pastor Philip A. Caristo ll, TH.M. Philadelphia, PA. 19115 Phone: 215-676-3971 Email: Mistysamshadow@msn.com or join our group at: DeliveranceCounselors@msngroups.com. Also you can email me at SavedOn22June03@cs.com.

God bless! Love you in Christ Jesus. Janet DeHart.

[his]

Phillip, Your story broke my heart. I think maybe you can see your sin for what it is if you are on the outside looking in. I have a true personal story that I am hesitant to tell but it is worth it if it helps even a tiny bit. I am a twenty year old female. I married the weekend after my eighteenth birthday...I couldn't wait to be my husbands wife. He was nine years older than me. I didn't know at the time but he had a serious sexual addiction. He became interested in pornography at a young age (nine I think). He is going to be thirty this year. When he was your age he was always on the computer and reading mags and renting movies. He had "casual" relations with people he hardly knew-if at all. After a point he didn't even care what they looked like. He did very awful things. He hid things so well that I didn't suspect a thing. But the longer you are addicted to pornogoraphy the worse it gets...Just like drugs. During the beginning of the marriage he started bringing home videos. I objected but he assured me that EVERY man does it and I need to be normal. That made me feel so guilty for telling him I didn't want it around. I started to find videos and mags hidden everywhere. Eventually I caught him having inappropriate relationships on the phone. I voiced my opinion but he would deny something that I saw with my own eyes. You can't talk through something when the person says it never happened. I cannot name everything he did. Eventually, not really caring about me. He loved me at first, but with an addiction like that a man cannot be pleased with the same person...soon you are old news. He quit his job and told me I had to work in an "adult" bar. I protested, but I am abnormally obediant because I came from an abusive home and know the potiential consequences of saying no. I ended up dancing. I hated having people saying sick things to me and grabbing at me. I was no longer a person but an object. That "job" makes a lot of money but he took it all but a few dollars for a cab and maybe food. I would have to call and beg to come home. He would ask how much money I had then say that isn't enough call me in three hours. It was awful. It wasn't enough money for him. I said what else can I do? He told me to prostitute. I was on my knees crying and begging not to have to do it. I said 'I don't want to do it' then he would say,' I know baby, I don't want you to do it either BUT you HAVE to.' I was tortured beyond words. He took all of the money there to. He actually drove me around. Eventually I shut down. I couldn't even get up. He agreed that I could stop and go back to the bar.(I have post traumatic stress disorder now) I did. Months later I got pregnant with our first child. He worked a few days a week and made about six hundred a month. He spent my prenatal vitiman money on magazines. I was staying in the F.R.O.G. at my parents house until my husband could afford to do anything. Eventually I found out that he was having a sexual relationship with my mother. My father kicked him out and I went with him because I couldn't get to my doctors appt.s without him and I couldn't afford the electric. We went to counseling and he sounded ready to change. When I had my baby I found out that he was having a relationship with a girl that worked near him. He would bring me a glass of water when I nursed upstairs ...which I though was the sweetest thing until I found out that he knew that I would be tied up for a while and took advantage of the time for himself downstairs. Things got worse and worse. (The Good news is this is how I came to know GOD) The church helped us a lot..even got us a place to stay..we wern't even members. When my son was two months old I decided that it was absolutely unliveable. I left. Now, my son doesn't know his daddy from a rattle. He has seen him a few times. My husband just gave up. He no longer attends church. He doesn't send money. He doesn't call or write. I will always love him, I cannot live with him while he has welcomed so much sin into his life. He always said 'when I go to the adult book store I see these forty and sixty year old men walking around and I know that they probably have nobody..all they have is those mags. It is kind of sad to see them so alone calling a magazine their friend and their family. I don't want to be like that.' Sadly, that is exactly what he has become and he isn't even forty yet.

I have not told you this for any reason but to see it from a different perspective. If you think that that is bad and feel yourself thinking about how sad my husbands life must be or maybe a little angry thinking that he is a jerk then realize that if you don't grab this bull by the horns and overcome this that this could be you. At this very moment I have a beautiful son(no money, but I feel rich) and he has a stack of dvd's. He isn't an awful person. We had good times before the addiction was obvious. He is known as a good person. But when it comes to his object of addiction he is out of control. I actually read this verse in Church today and thought of him...maybe it will help you. Ephesians 5 'Follow God's example in everything you do , because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love for others, following the example of Christ, who loved you and gave himself as a sacrifice to take away your sins. And God was pleased, because that sacrifice was like sweet perfume to him. Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God's people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes-these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, of greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is really an idolater who worships the things of the world. Don't be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the terrible anger of God comes upon all those who disobey him. don't participate in the things these people do. For though your hearts were once full of darkness, now you are full of light from the Lord, and your behavior should show it! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, rebuke and expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But when the light shines on them, it becomes clear how evil these things are. And where your light shines, it will expose their evil deeds. This is why it is said, "Awake, O sleeper, Rise up form the dead, and Christ will give you light." If you like to read, I heard that the book EVERY MAN'S BATTLE was very good. Also, I don't know enough to recommend it, but I heard of Pure life ministries. You can live there and they set you up with a factory job...it is a christian facility. You would have to pay-of course. And there is a deposit but I do not know how much. I have read a lot of this topic and I say this not only out of personal experience, but the experts agree DO NOT MARRY before you get this undercontrol...Many men think that when they marry that the problem will disappear but it wont it usually tapers off then comes back worse than ever. I will pray for you. Please keep me posted on how you are doing. I will rejoice the day you overcome this battle. I actually had to file for divorce this past two weeks. He said that he doesn't feel like trying. Please, don't be like this. Make a life. Learn to love others instead of yourself. Put God above yourself. Please him not your desires. I always told my husband. You can have your heaven for a short time here and it will never satisfy you, or you can have your heaven in paradise for eternity finally being fulfilled. Your Choice. GOD BLESS you and I will pray for you. I hope I didn't write too much or say anything "not postable" I really hope this helps.

[John3;16]

I did not read all the responces, but there is a book that deals with how to overcome sexual addiction and thats what it is an addiction, the name of the book is: "Every Mans Battle" I don't know the authors name but on his radio program I hear men calling in and giving testimonies how it helped them over come this addiction, they say that we develope habits in fifteen days, that will be the hardest part, having accountability is a absolute necessity, I know that this is covered in the book, and ways to limit your time alone on the computer, and ways to get yourself involved in some activities, including church functions, seek help from your pastor, he should be able to help you, most likely being a counslor is part his training, and if not he should be able to find someone who is trained, but don't try and go it alone, the devil knows when and how to attack us, and when we fall, he uses that to try and seperate us from the one who can heal us, saying how can you call yourself a christian, he knows how to kick us when we are down!