What is up with Catsmeow?

[Catsmeow]

I was checking my email today and rec'd a note from Suzanne, which linked me to this thread.

I feel pretty lame right now because I was having a pity party and confided to Suzanne that I felt like people hated me and despised me and I didn't have a friend in the world and all that stuff.

You you how it goes. You begin to get the firey darts hitting you right where it hurts:

*Nobody loves me

*Nobody likes me

*You'd be better off dead

*You'll never get well again

*You serve no purpose or function in life

*Why doesn't God just kill me?

*God hates me; He could kill me and take my misery away but he doesn't.

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah................................................

You get the idea.

I call it a pity party but it hurts real bad anyway and it doesn't matter what you call it it...pain is still pain.

Then there's the other kind of pain:

*Am I right with God?

*Is there unconfessed sin in my life?

*Am I walking in righteousness?

*Am I pleasing to God?

*Am I strong enough for God?

*I'm too tired to read my bible; I must be a horrible Christian.

*I'm so weak, I can't make it to church.

I could go on forever but if it isn't day to day issues, it's the typical nonsense of trying to figure out if God really loves me, forgives me and/or and I in His will.

We all go through it. We may not tell anyone. These are those thoughts we have privately and alone.

We don't WANT anyone to answer us. The only person who could truly answer us is God Himself. People don't cut it. They have opinions and interpretations, same as us.

We wrestle with ourselves. We wrestle with the times we're in.

I don't want "advice" or "wisdom". I am waiting upon the Lord Himself to speak to my heart and give me His light. That's all the prayer I want. I just want His light.

I am only wanting to know His will and His light. That's it.

Just on the side...

For anyone who doesn't really know me: I'm like you, probably. I may express myself differently but I'm like you. I have people I love. I adore babies. I have a heart for the poor and needy. I ache for the sick and weak. I will always let a little ol' lady go ahead of me at the register. I care tons about people.

I'm not good. Jesus is. He's cultivated some good things in me and we're getting better all the time.

As far as Bob Triez and I go...we're brother and sister. Have you EVER known a brother and sister who didn't have a disagreement? I haven't. That's normal.

For us, we're bruh and sis so we're cool. We're family. He annoyed me. I bug him at times, I'm sure. We never stopped loving each other. He's a brother. What are brother's for anyway? To fuss with, right?

We're purr and hiss in heaven, too. It's a "family thing". That's life: purrs and hisses.

There's times when I "see" Bob and purr; other times he might delete a post and I'll hiss. Then I'll walk away with my fuzzy tail up in the air and be a typical feline. Sorry. That's me.

In our house we have two cats and they purr and hiss all the time. They groom, cuddle and curl up together all the time. Then, they growl and chase each other all over the house. Life goes on.

I hope you get the analogy.

We are family. We get agitated with each other. Probably the most balanced person I know is George. It'd take an earthquake to ruffle his feathers. He's like that.

Then, there's Gary or John Bouy and they are a bit more like me....mega-charged and EXtreme.

Suzanne (tsth) is a lot like me at the heart level but she articulates and expresses herself real well. I don't do so well at times.

Sometimes, I get carnal. Honestly, I agree with Suzanne but I feel more like Gary at times. Somebody upsets me and I think, "Oooh, I'd like to break their leg."

Okay, okay...please, please don't write in and say, " :x: " I know, I know...shamey, shamey on me.

I'm just being honest, that's all.

Truth is....I see so much of myself in each other you. A little of Gary in me; a little of John and a little of YOD; a little of Suzanne and Yukon; a little of Neb and a little of Arstylady (I'm an artsy person, too); then the cat lady, Marilyn777, who's very much a cat person like me...I could go on...but point being, I relate to just about everyone here in some way or another.

The only ones I don't relate to are the trolls who pop in now and then and drop a few bombs, then split.

Other than that, I feel a great deal of affection with people here. Sadly, I can't sit down and just drink a cup of Java with you or stay up half the night at an all night restaurant somewhere and just talk.

I imagine we'll get time in for all that in heaven someday.

Until then, let's be patient and gentle with each other. We're all walking around with our feelings frazzled and oftentimes confused.

Have you ever had someone you met and didn't care for but later got to know them and thought, "Whoa, they're pretty cool afterall!"

I have.

I guess we need to take time to know each other and learn...LEARN to love each other. Takes time. Look how long it takes to learn to love your own blood siblings! :x:

[whatsitmean]

I don't want "advice" or "wisdom". I am waiting upon the Lord Himself to speak to my heart and give me His light. That's all the prayer I want. I just want His light.

Waiting with you> :hug:

[Guest LCPGUY]

Awwww. Cats,

so glad you are back with us all. Let

[Guest shadow2b]

-Sometimes, I get carnal. Honestly, I agree with Suzanne but I feel more like Gary at times. Somebody upsets me and I think, "Oooh, I'd like to break their leg."

-NOW CATS my lill-ole-Lady-Faire-Sister-maam you know very well that ain't true---I'D BREAK BOTH OF THEIR LEGS---

I am Sooooo Glad to SEE you up & tearing into us no-good louts---THANKY-KINDLY

-Sis NOW I knbow everything is gonna be aright---yupp the sun will come up{Already has when my lill-ole-sis-got up & started talkin ta me---now--- }

ALL is right with tha werld-Agin- :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

-=YOU stop this here aslackin UP & goofin off----WE DO MISS YOU & LOVE YOU SO MUCH SUSAN---MY-BELOVED LILL-SISTER--- :hug: :hug: Worthy is NOT the same without you here SIS---WE NEED your Insight--your Wisdom--& MOSTLY WE NEED YOUR LOVE------

-{& cats--ya gotta watch that BOB--O---he will "Find"something to delete even if it's your address--so WE can't Write you or send flowers--but keep this just between us--he's so delete happy-he'll try ta find somethin to delete on thys post-

ya jes caint trust tha lill-ole delete-happy-twerpy lill-ole-mod}-

[Guest shadow2b]

-Have you ever had someone you met and didn't care for but later got to know them and thought, "Whoa, they're pretty cool afterall!"

-SUSAN my dear---dear-lill-ole-Lady-Faire-Sister-maam YOU KNOW VERY WELL

-I have FOUGHT with just about everyone on these boards{that have been here a while-or jes became tha newest-twerpy-delete-happy-lill-ole-moddy}& then I have come to LOVE each one of you that I originally fought so hard with--Then had to Apologize to each one of you--& have come to LOVE YOU SO MUCH-

-But you are soooooo Right Cats--EACH ONE OF YOU ARE--soooooo-COOL-

Soooooo very special to me & you just really don't know HOW much I love each & every one of you-- :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

-NOW ya see there cats--you oughtta be ashamed of yoseff you get up off a deeth bed & come on here & ya got me all loving--blubberdy-mouthed--snifflin--water afallin down mah face---tsk.tsk.tsk.{you do know I are kiddin ya right sis??} :x: :hug: :hug: -Thank you cats my Sis--soooo glad ta see you up & posting again---yo-silly- -crazZy- strange-odd-weird-Totally insane-buyt---- love-able-----Brother------Gary-- :il: :il:

[tilly]

no one ever misses me Cat.

so count yourself blessed..a

[Guest LCPGUY]

no one ever misses me Cat.

so count yourself blessed..a

Think again Tilly. You are precious, in God

[Guest shadow2b]

-There is nobody here that hates you or even dislikes you. If you can find even one, Gary and I will sure give them their due. Right Bro???

-RIGHT ON BRO...jest whuTt ya Reckon they IZ due??hmmmm?? mebby A right nice brokded laig err tuu??might be fun--them laigs abreaking specially just below the knee--thet long bone between the knee & the ankle--sho-nuff makes a real nice buyt odd sound jest as it begins to separate & finally breaks--A very special sound--IF yas ever heers one ova thet one particular bone abreaking yuu nevuh fergits it---- :oww: :oww: --I-IZ reddy Bro--lits go duz it-- :hug:

[Catsmeow]

I just looked back on my response earlier to this topic and geez, I can't believe I wrote all that....just venting I guess.

Thanks again for caring so much.

Tilly, I care a lot once we meet. I've been in hiding in Georgia for a week since a second hurricane hit so I've been offline.

I love all youz guyz so much! It's good to be home! :hug:

[ted]

Good to see from you again, Sister.

'Been Praying hard for you and a few others here as well.

t.