benjamin-benjamin Posted November 30, 2010 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 19 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/29/2010 Status: Offline Share Posted November 30, 2010 (edited) I am going to give a slightly "different" reply... I think one of the things that really started me maturing in Christ was when i realized that being a "strong" christian was so much about being able to "resist" sin, but rather know your limitations and be sure you don't end up a situation that is prime for sin. Meaning someone that struggles with drinking shouldn't hang out at a bar, rather with positive friends that prevent him from drinking. So you cannot think that if you are living with some guy and just praying "God please help me to be strong" that you won't fall into temptation. I used to have a big problem with my temper and when i could feel my temper getting bad and instead of thinking "oh i can handle this", i started just taking myself out of the situation and then nothing bad happened! So the key is to put yourself in key situations that don't allow things to happen. I did an in depth study on porn (and orgasms in general) and when you see a brain scan of someone doing herion and someone having an orgasm, you can start to understand why it is so difficult... Edited November 30, 2010 by benjamin-benjamin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RGR Posted November 30, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 512 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 8,601 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 125 Days Won: 2 Joined: 07/16/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/04/1973 Share Posted November 30, 2010 (edited) Edited Edited December 1, 2010 by RGR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other one Posted November 30, 2010 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 29 Topic Count: 599 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 56,260 Content Per Day: 7.56 Reputation: 27,988 Days Won: 271 Joined: 12/29/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted November 30, 2010 Benjamin, you might want to rephrase that last statement...... there are several ways one might see that last sentence considering the subject. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benjamin-benjamin Posted November 30, 2010 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 19 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/29/2010 Status: Offline Share Posted November 30, 2010 Benjamin, you might want to rephrase that last statement...... there are several ways one might see that last sentence considering the subject. thanks didn't notice that until you pointed that out...... made the change.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other one Posted November 30, 2010 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 29 Topic Count: 599 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 56,260 Content Per Day: 7.56 Reputation: 27,988 Days Won: 271 Joined: 12/29/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted November 30, 2010 I am going to give a slightly "different" reply... I think one of the things that really started me maturing in Christ was when i realized that being a "strong" christian was so much about being able to "resist" sin, but rather know your limitations and be sure you don't end up a situation that is prime for sin. Meaning someone that struggles with drinking shouldn't hang out at a bar, rather with positive friends that prevent him from drinking. So you cannot think that if you are living with some guy and just praying "God please help me to be strong" that you won't fall into temptation. I used to have a big problem with my temper and when i could feel my temper getting bad and instead of thinking "oh i can handle this", i started just taking myself out of the situation and then nothing bad happened! So the key is to put yourself in key situations that don't allow things to happen. I did an in depth study on porn (and orgasms in general) and when you see a brain scan of someone doing herion and someone having an orgasm, you can start to understand Benjamin, I'm gonna suggest that last part is a little too much info. You might want to change your quote..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Butero Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 So an update, Things get worse and better. There has been no sex(in any form) since last post. We pray together more and I feel have gotten a much better handle on the situation. I spoke to a friend and he put things in perspective for me on the importance of refraining. We also looked at dates for marriage (and because he still wants to wait until after his program is done) its looking like Summer 2012. Which is closer than what I was thinking (winter 2012-2013). He said that once he graduated it would be up to me how much longer I wanted to wait (depending on size of wedding ect.) So, for me, its looking like summer 2012. I don't need a huge expensive wedding. I just want to be married to my guy The downside is that I have unofficially moved in with him due to an emergency situation at my moms house. My older brother lost income and was going to be evicted from his apt. My mom decided she'd push me out and take him in. She did this knowing I had somewhere to go and he didn't. My mom is not saved and has no issue with premarital sex so has no understanding of the burden that she put on me and to attempt to explain it is tiring. So far things are pretty ok. I joke that he is creating a monster and by the time we get married i would have suppressed my sexual urges for so long that I will no longer have them. I guess at that point I'd be ready to be a wife....haha I have to agree with Other One and Lady C. All the reasons to put off marriage are gone now that you are living together. My feeling is that if you stay in that situation, there is a good chance you will wind up in fornication, and on top of that, I can't understand why your boyfriend wants to put off your wedding date? If it is to have a nice formal wedding , you could have a simple ceremony now and a big wedding later. I am not saying this to try to make things harder on you than they already are, nor do I condemn you for your living conditions. You seem completely sincere about remaining pure till marriage, but I am afraid your boyfriend may still have some commitment issues, and this may not turn out well? You are more than free to take my advise or leave it, as it is your life, but I think you would be better to get married or flee your current situation. I just don't see how the two of you will remain celebate? I don't know your boyfriend, but here is what I suspect will wind up happening if you don't marry. Situations will arise where the temptation will be too strong and you will fall into fornication. I wouldn't be surprised if in some cases, it wasn't a set up? You will feel bad and try to avoid doing it again, and will fall again. It will get harder and harder, and you may never end up getting married. None of this is a forgone conclusion, but if you two make it till the summer of 2012 while living together the whole time, you are stronger than most. God bless, and I wish you the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fez Posted November 30, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 683 Topics Per Day: 0.12 Content Count: 11,128 Content Per Day: 1.99 Reputation: 1,352 Days Won: 54 Joined: 02/03/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/07/1952 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Sister, listen carefully. We are punished by our sins, not for them. Now think...... How many things am I doing right now that Jesus died for? Be honest. Cast aside your wants and needs, and be totally honest with yourself. Then go and pray. You are in a situation ripe for the enemy to sow into. And when he reaps, it will be from a field that you watered. We are punished by our sins, not for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Butero Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 We are punished by our sins, not for them. Mankind is still being punished for the original sin that took place in the garden, and people are in hell today because they sinned. Of course we are punished for our sins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fez Posted November 30, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 683 Topics Per Day: 0.12 Content Count: 11,128 Content Per Day: 1.99 Reputation: 1,352 Days Won: 54 Joined: 02/03/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/07/1952 Share Posted November 30, 2010 We are punished by our sins, not for them. Mankind is still being punished for the original sin that took place in the garden, and people are in hell today because they sinned. Of course we are punished for our sins. Think about the quote a little deeper. I know the scriptural definition as well as you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Butero Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 We are punished by our sins, not for them. Mankind is still being punished for the original sin that took place in the garden, and people are in hell today because they sinned. Of course we are punished for our sins. Think about the quote a little deeper. I know the scriptural definition as well as you do. Thats ok Fez. This is more of a theological argument, and NewlySavedGirl is seeking advise for a problem. I will just drop it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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