Concerned

[paperflower]

Hello All, I have a major probllem that has developed in my life and need advice on what to do next.

I need to talk over this concern with my boyfriend of four years and don't know if it is something I should share with him. Here is the reason. Lately when he is tired from working double shifts he will turn off the phone and I cannot reach him when I have explained to him that he should just let me know so that I will not be worried. That is a whole lot better than just turning off the ringer. I lost my mother 8 years ago in her sleep and since that time I have had issues with losing someone I love. Time is supposed to heal all wounds but that one still bleeds. Now back to what I need advice on. He explains to me that if he is tired he doesn't want to be bothered and that I should understand. Yes, he has said it is a selfish move on his part but he still wants me to understand. I feel if you can't do something as simple as let me know you aren't taking a look at how I feel. I think he should understand even more since it was just a year ago he lost his father.

I don't mind stating I am not a teenager and that I am well into my 40's. I state that because I read quite a bit of teenage love stories on the boards. Thankfully I grew up in a great family and didn't have to deal with much. So some issues in life I have yet to deal with and this is one.

I guess I look at it this way, when you don't feel you are getting the respect that you want, can you go to someone very important in your life with something that is a great concern to you?

[nebula]

I'm sorry you are going through this.

You do need to talk about his with him. Tell him how it makes you feel,

"I feel hurt that..." or "I feel like you don't respect me..." or "It makes me feel frightened...."

Do you have texting ability? I can understand someone not wanting to make a phone call just to say, "I'm turning my phone off," because that's hard to do without risking a conversation. But with texting, one doesn't risk that. Just text: "Turning phone off," with the understanding that a response of acknowledgement isn't necessary, and then you don't have to feel frightened and he gets his peace and quiet.

[enoob57]

I don't know how much this will be absorbed into your life but here goes... I have been examining the self of sin- (anything where we place ourselves in first consideration) after all it is only right! Isn't that the basis we consider by? However isn't right determined by God? It does not take long in the absorbing of His Word to know it cannot be intellectually determined... there are just to many variables in all areas for us to be that prideful within ourselves to stand there.

People need their space sometimes and don't want to account for everything others seem to think they should. Probably both are wrong- the one, for sake of self, wanting the accounting and the one not wanting to give it for the same sake!

My Spiritual understanding thus far: I cannot see the next moment ahead nor am I able to change the one that just entered the past!

The focus then must be on Lord Who dwells in both with all capabilities, what do You want in this moment Lord. Few people live in this because it is quite contrary to influence of present system we are in! Abandonment of self and reliance upon God in Spiritual walk requires only one thing we must die to ourselves and live unto Him... the first step may be unseen and then the second also and what would it be like to stand in the I don't know with only His Presence to guide you in that third step..

Surely we fall upon the mercies of Our Father in Heaven Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done, (Here?) on earth as it 'IS' in Heaven... Surely He has not called us to walk by sight

Heb 11:1-3

11 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 2 For by it the elders obtained a good testimony.

3 By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.

NKJV

Once that third step is taken you have committed your way to His... all things with prayer and supplication and those who walk in the Spirit do so fulfilling His Word pray without ceasing...

Love, Steven

[Guest]

Praying~!

[hmbld]

prayers

[darkest_red]

I'm sorry you are going through this.

You do need to talk about his with him. Tell him how it makes you feel,

"I feel hurt that..." or "I feel like you don't respect me..." or "It makes me feel frightened...."

Do you have texting ability? I can understand someone not wanting to make a phone call just to say, "I'm turning my phone off," because that's hard to do without risking a conversation. But with texting, one doesn't risk that. Just text: "Turning phone off," with the understanding that a response of acknowledgement isn't necessary, and then you don't have to feel frightened and he gets his peace and quiet.

Good idea Nebs, texting is a simple solution. Most phones allow you to set up a template so he could even just put it as a template and then he doesn't even have to write it out each time. Or even if he just arranges to let your phone ring once before he hangs up so you know that he's switching his off and you don't need to worry.

[2Joyful]

I don't know how much this will be absorbed into your life but here goes... I have been examining the self of sin- (anything where we place ourselves in first consideration) after all it is only right! Isn't that the basis we consider by? However isn't right determined by God? It does not take long in the absorbing of His Word to know it cannot be intellectually determined... there are just to many variables in all areas for us to be that prideful within ourselves to stand there.

People need their space sometimes and don't want to account for everything others seem to think they should. Probably both are wrong- the one, for sake of self, wanting the accounting and the one not wanting to give it for the same sake!

My Spiritual understanding thus far: I cannot see the next moment ahead nor am I able to change the one that just entered the past!

The focus then must be on Lord Who dwells in both with all capabilities, what do You want in this moment Lord. Few people live in this because it is quite contrary to influence of present system we are in! Abandonment of self and reliance upon God in Spiritual walk requires only one thing we must die to ourselves and live unto Him... the first step may be unseen and then the second also and what would it be like to stand in the I don't know with only His Presence to guide you in that third step..

Surely we fall upon the mercies of Our Father in Heaven Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done, (Here?) on earth as it 'IS' in Heaven... Surely He has not called us to walk by sight

Heb 11:1-3

11 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 2 For by it the elders obtained a good testimony.

3 By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.

NKJV

Once that third step is taken you have committed your way to His... all things with prayer and supplication and those who walk in the Spirit do so fulfilling His Word pray without ceasing...

Love, Steven

Amen

[ears]

Sounds to me Paperflower like you would not turn off your phone without letting him know. Maybe you guys are not quite on the same page here. Hope your in the same book...You sound hurt and that's no good, he needs to rectify that soon. Let him know how you feel or your feeling hurt while he is being inconsiderate, will become part of your relationship. Prayers