People Don't really care

[~candice~]

Just one comment on Job. At least he HAD everything at one time. He wasn't born into darkness and then remain there his entire life. Anyway, I understand exactly what you are getting at and I thank you for your advice. God Bless you too.

Taylor, you know you are in a deep park place when you think you have it worse than Job. The Lord allowed Satan into his life to mess things up. Have you done that? I don't mean to be callous, but I really think you might have lost perspective if you think that you have it worse than Job. You might like to consider praising God for what you DO have, and thanking Him for those bitter things you NEVER had to taste. Like going to the funeral of your child. It does help put things back into the right light.

[Mark2005]

Each person's pain is their own. I can look at someone else and think they have a worse set of circumstances than I might, but that does not diminish my own pain.

Maybe for one person it is a physical disability, for someone else the loss of a relationship, loneliness, for someone else a professional or financial failure. I can't walk in another person's shoes, but at the least I should be considerate enough not to step on their toes.

I, too, have read Job, at a time when I was grieving great loss. I don't compare my struggles with his to see who had it worse. But I do read it to see how someone else responded to their own tragedy.

[Mark2005]

Rare bird, thanks for sharing your story.

[taylor30]

Just one comment on Job. At least he HAD everything at one time. He wasn't born into darkness and then remain there his entire life. Anyway, I understand exactly what you are getting at and I thank you for your advice. God Bless you too.

Taylor, you know you are in a deep park place when you think you have it worse than Job. The Lord allowed Satan into his life to mess things up. Have you done that? I don't mean to be callous, but I really think you might have lost perspective if you think that you have it worse than Job. You might like to consider praising God for what you DO have, and thanking Him for those bitter things you NEVER had to taste. Like going to the funeral of your child. It does help put things back into the right light.

Maybe for some people the bad is worth it if the good is there too. I would gladly suffer as Job did if I could for a time experience the IMMENSE joys that he got to have. At least then in my times of suffering I would have lots of happy memories to carry me through.

[taylor30]

I don't mean this to sound luke a poor me type of thing, but I do have some things I need to say.

Why are people so unloving? I have been alone for 10 years now. I am only 30. I am supposed to be happy with a good job, loving family, and Christian Brothers around. I have NONE of it. I have tried more dates than I can count. I used to go to church, but people were more interested in mingling with friends than welcoming a stranger into fellowship. I can sit in a pew alone or stand in the back of the church the entire time without a single word being spoken to me. I obviously have stopped going to church. I am better off without that " type " of Christianity. I also have dated Christian women who ONLY cared about looks or money. The heart didn't matter. Even pastors didn't give me the time of day when I sought their help. They were always too busy to help a brother, or my problems were not important enough for their schedule.

I don't expect unbelievers to show love and compassion, but such things should never be among those who call themselves Christians. We are called to step out of our comfort zones to others. REMEMBER, Jesus didn't just sit down and wait for people to show up. He went out and sought the people wherever they might be. We need to change church. We are to be a light to the world, but I am looking and I see no lights.

The apostle Paul in his second epistle to Timothy (chapter 3) says that becoming "unloving", is one indicator of the last days--this goes for the church too, as they are the recipient of this epistle. This is why we as Christians need to examine ourselves first, to see if we are in the faith. I use 1 John chapter 1 and 2 as my "Am I the Faith" Test. (below) This way, I can see where I fall short, repent and seek God to change my heart so that I can continue steadfast "running the race." I say this because we can only be accountable for OUR OWN behavior, not the behavior of others . . . and if we find that others around you aren't passing the "sniff test" then God could be telling you it's time to move on. It's when we expect others to change based on our desires is when we get into trouble; it appears that you are frustrated at the behavior of others, which can be a stumbling block. So humor me and follow along . . .

The "Am I in the Faith" Test:

1 John 1:7: Do I have fellowship with other believers?

vv.9-10: Do I admit/confess my sins?

1 John 2: 3-4: Do I keep His commandments?

vv. 5-6: Does my lifestyle reflect Jesus' lifestyle (i.e., walk)?

vv. 8-9: Do I reflect the LIGHT of Christ and His teachings?

vv. 10-11: Do I love my brother and do I seek/wish the best for him/her?

v. 15: Do I love (i.e. spend time with and desire) the things of this world more than I love Jesus? (Oooo. That's a zinger!)

Once we focus on our walk and seek God, it is then that we are comforted and can more readily deal with circumstances that can cause us to stumble.

Taylor, I asked the same questions you are asking now when I was 30 years old. I too expected God to bless me with the desires of my heart. I was REALLY lonely and could not figure out why for the life of me God withheld what I so desperately desired. After all, I was His child and he promised to fulfill those things, and it pierced my heart to see other people my age in love, with families and what appeared to be the perfect life. Unfortunately, I allowed a bitter root to grow up in me which turned my heart away from His love for more than 10 years. (And in retrospect, I was not holding up my end of the covenant like I should have been doing!) But God, through His love and divine providence led me back to Him--BUT I first had to go through a world of hurt before I began to seek Him DILIGENTLY and lay ALL my desires at the foot of the cross--something I had never really done up til that point. It's is then that God can mold us and bless us, and not sooner.

I once had a pastor ask me, "Are you holding the desires of your heart with a clenched fist or an open hand?" It is when we are willing to surrender our desires and goals to Him, that he can then begin to let the blessings rain down.

But whatever you do, DON'T stop going to church. This is a tactic of the enemy to draw you away from God and in the end will only lead to more hurt. Just make up your mind to seek God--only God--and ask for wisdom and that He reveals what you need to do. Find a Bible-based church that can love and help you in your walk. Additionally, a Bible Study will also provide fellowship with other believers, and help you grow in grace with the truths of His word.

Also, in all love and honesty, God doesn't OWE us anything, and when we begin to think that He does, we fall into a snare that can lead us away from His love--just like I experienced. So when you mentioned that "...you are supposed to be happy with a good job, loving family, etc. etc..." it took me back to eleven years to where I was, and I am praying that I can intercede right now so you don't take the path I took. However, God is good and He will bless us according to HIS plan for us. It's never the other way around. We serve Him, he doesn't serve us. The sooner you can accept that truth, the easier it will be--it is then that God can really work in and through us to fulfill His perfect will for our lives. And who knows...maybe He's simply protecting you from some hideously plastic Barbie doll of a "believer" who would make Joan Rivers blush, and who would only drag you down? Chew on that one. ;-)

I don't know the exact root or history behind your wilderness experience, but it appears that you are seeking God. PLEASE...don't become bitter because of what you expect from other people and/or from God. We must first do our part to seek after Him with our whole heart and obey His Word. And you do this by staying in communication with Him and in His Word. And that might just mean for you to find another Bible-based church that can love and help you in your walk. And pray hard. Even when all you can do is cry or don't know what to pray for. He know our heart. And even when we do these things, sometimes he blesses us with what we are praying for, and other times he remains silent, keeping us in trials to refine us, but giving us the peace that surpasses all understanding. But He loves us no matter how He chooses to deal with us in our very personal faith journey.

I know you are hurting and I wish I could reach out to you personally, have a cup of coffee and have a no-holds-barred Q&A in person. There are many truths you need to remember to help you in your faith walk and I can't go into too much detail because I've already written a novel, but #1--God is sovereign. He makes the rules. We don't. #2--God loves us and wants what is best for us. #3--WE must seek, obey and praise Him first. Only then will he fulfill our lives. He will remain true to His word. If you ever want to chat, drop me a message, eh? Otherwise, know that I am praying for you.

I appreciate your comments. Though I have NEVER met anyone who.fits all the criteria if the test you listed above. And as far as my NOT going to church, God never commands such a thing. I fellowship right here, so I don't need to go to a building to do it.

[mizzdy]

I don't mean this to sound luke a poor me type of thing, but I do have some things I need to say.

Why are people so unloving? I have been alone for 10 years now. I am only 30. I am supposed to be happy with a good job, loving family, and Christian Brothers around. I have NONE of it. I have tried more dates than I can count. I used to go to church, but people were more interested in mingling with friends than welcoming a stranger into fellowship. I can sit in a pew alone or stand in the back of the church the entire time without a single word being spoken to me. I obviously have stopped going to church. I am better off without that " type " of Christianity. I also have dated Christian women who ONLY cared about looks or money. The heart didn't matter. Even pastors didn't give me the time of day when I sought their help. They were always too busy to help a brother, or my problems were not important enough for their schedule.

I don't expect unbelievers to show love and compassion, but such things should never be among those who call themselves Christians. We are called to step out of our comfort zones to others. REMEMBER, Jesus didn't just sit down and wait for people to show up. He went out and sought the people wherever they might be. We need to change church. We are to be a light to the world, but I am looking and I see no lights.

The apostle Paul in his second epistle to Timothy (chapter 3) says that becoming "unloving", is one indicator of the last days--this goes for the church too, as they are the recipient of this epistle. This is why we as Christians need to examine ourselves first, to see if we are in the faith. I use 1 John chapter 1 and 2 as my "Am I the Faith" Test. (below) This way, I can see where I fall short, repent and seek God to change my heart so that I can continue steadfast "running the race." I say this because we can only be accountable for OUR OWN behavior, not the behavior of others . . . and if we find that others around you aren't passing the "sniff test" then God could be telling you it's time to move on. It's when we expect others to change based on our desires is when we get into trouble; it appears that you are frustrated at the behavior of others, which can be a stumbling block. So humor me and follow along . . .

The "Am I in the Faith" Test:

1 John 1:7: Do I have fellowship with other believers?

vv.9-10: Do I admit/confess my sins?

1 John 2: 3-4: Do I keep His commandments?

vv. 5-6: Does my lifestyle reflect Jesus' lifestyle (i.e., walk)?

vv. 8-9: Do I reflect the LIGHT of Christ and His teachings?

vv. 10-11: Do I love my brother and do I seek/wish the best for him/her?

v. 15: Do I love (i.e. spend time with and desire) the things of this world more than I love Jesus? (Oooo. That's a zinger!)

Once we focus on our walk and seek God, it is then that we are comforted and can more readily deal with circumstances that can cause us to stumble.

Taylor, I asked the same questions you are asking now when I was 30 years old. I too expected God to bless me with the desires of my heart. I was REALLY lonely and could not figure out why for the life of me God withheld what I so desperately desired. After all, I was His child and he promised to fulfill those things, and it pierced my heart to see other people my age in love, with families and what appeared to be the perfect life. Unfortunately, I allowed a bitter root to grow up in me which turned my heart away from His love for more than 10 years. (And in retrospect, I was not holding up my end of the covenant like I should have been doing!) But God, through His love and divine providence led me back to Him--BUT I first had to go through a world of hurt before I began to seek Him DILIGENTLY and lay ALL my desires at the foot of the cross--something I had never really done up til that point. It's is then that God can mold us and bless us, and not sooner.

I once had a pastor ask me, "Are you holding the desires of your heart with a clenched fist or an open hand?" It is when we are willing to surrender our desires and goals to Him, that he can then begin to let the blessings rain down.

But whatever you do, DON'T stop going to church. This is a tactic of the enemy to draw you away from God and in the end will only lead to more hurt. Just make up your mind to seek God--only God--and ask for wisdom and that He reveals what you need to do. Find a Bible-based church that can love and help you in your walk. Additionally, a Bible Study will also provide fellowship with other believers, and help you grow in grace with the truths of His word.

Also, in all love and honesty, God doesn't OWE us anything, and when we begin to think that He does, we fall into a snare that can lead us away from His love--just like I experienced. So when you mentioned that "...you are supposed to be happy with a good job, loving family, etc. etc..." it took me back to eleven years to where I was, and I am praying that I can intercede right now so you don't take the path I took. However, God is good and He will bless us according to HIS plan for us. It's never the other way around. We serve Him, he doesn't serve us. The sooner you can accept that truth, the easier it will be--it is then that God can really work in and through us to fulfill His perfect will for our lives. And who knows...maybe He's simply protecting you from some hideously plastic Barbie doll of a "believer" who would make Joan Rivers blush, and who would only drag you down? Chew on that one. ;-)

I don't know the exact root or history behind your wilderness experience, but it appears that you are seeking God. PLEASE...don't become bitter because of what you expect from other people and/or from God. We must first do our part to seek after Him with our whole heart and obey His Word. And you do this by staying in communication with Him and in His Word. And that might just mean for you to find another Bible-based church that can love and help you in your walk. And pray hard. Even when all you can do is cry or don't know what to pray for. He know our heart. And even when we do these things, sometimes he blesses us with what we are praying for, and other times he remains silent, keeping us in trials to refine us, but giving us the peace that surpasses all understanding. But He loves us no matter how He chooses to deal with us in our very personal faith journey.

I know you are hurting and I wish I could reach out to you personally, have a cup of coffee and have a no-holds-barred Q&A in person. There are many truths you need to remember to help you in your faith walk and I can't go into too much detail because I've already written a novel, but #1--God is sovereign. He makes the rules. We don't. #2--God loves us and wants what is best for us. #3--WE must seek, obey and praise Him first. Only then will he fulfill our lives. He will remain true to His word. If you ever want to chat, drop me a message, eh? Otherwise, know that I am praying for you.

I appreciate your comments. Though I have NEVER met anyone who.fits all the criteria if the test you listed above. And as far as my NOT going to church, God never commands such a thing. I fellowship right here, so I don't need to go to a building to do it.

We are not to forsake real life fellowships Taylor, a body only works if the parts are present, if you are truly part of His body I would think you need the other parts to help you. God calls us to holy convocations, to assemblies, and frankly to think that He didnt is pretty confusing, after all we are to learn my His perfect example are we not? Yeshua went to the synagogues, He met in homes, He taught on mountains, but as you will notice He was always there in a gathering not just a person here or there, we are meant to be one group working together.

I used to think that church wasnt in the cards either, after all I have seen many a churches not care about their members, churches where the pastor doesnt even know his own flock, churches that dont care about their sick, etc. But I am here to tell you that its an absolute necessity for you and everyone else that confesses His name as their Savior and King to be part of something besides an internet forum. A home bible study, a group that meet just to pray, we need to be with like minded others. Yes I absolutely consider Worthy a fellowship, it was mine for a number of years, yet I know that this is not exactly what God wants of us, He wants us to be able to hug someone who needs a hug, maybe to pray for a person as you hold their hand, but most importantly to stand in fellowship, in worship and praise. There are no lonerangers, no separate sections of the kingdom for those who think God doesnt want them in a fellowship. I know way too many who live in places or who cannot get out who want nothing more than to sit with others in some fashion and worship Him together, thats how the body works together.

shalom,

Mizz

[taylor30]

Hello Mizzdy. I am doing a new post because I am unable to reply for some reason on another post.

Thankfully there is NO ACTUAL COMMAND to go to church. It might be suggested or recommended yes, but NOT commanded. The church is supposed to be a body. Scripture says if one member of the body suffers, the whole body is supposed to suffer. That is NOT the case in today's church. One member is able to suffer and the body ignores it. You can say that people are only human or make mistakes. It doesn't matter. Christians are supposed to live life ABOVE REPROACH. Christians are supposed to be the ABSOLUTE best people in society. I look around and I don't see anything. MANY Christians know I am suffering, but to help would interfere either their comfortable happy lives.

Even IF church were a command, church is simply an assembly of believers. Worthy is an assembly of believers. So I AM going to church when I AM on here. Command obeyed.

[~candice~]

Hello Mizzdy. I am doing a new post because I am unable to reply for some reason on another post.

Thankfully there is NO ACTUAL COMMAND to go to church. It might be suggested or recommended yes, but NOT commanded. The church is supposed to be a body. Scripture says if one member of the body suffers, the whole body is supposed to suffer. That is NOT the case in today's church. One member is able to suffer and the body ignores it. You can say that people are only human or make mistakes. It doesn't matter. Christians are supposed to live life ABOVE REPROACH. Christians are supposed to be the ABSOLUTE best people in society. I look around and I don't see anything. MANY Christians know I am suffering, but to help would interfere either their comfortable happy lives.

Even IF church were a command, church is simply an assembly of believers. Worthy is an assembly of believers. So I AM going to church when I AM on here. Command obeyed.

Taylor, are you going out and visiting sick people? Perhaps you should . Or visit widows. Or orphans.

Can you go out and practice your religion?

[taylor30]

Hello Mizzdy. I am doing a new post because I am unable to reply for some reason on another post.

Thankfully there is NO ACTUAL COMMAND to go to church. It might be suggested or recommended yes, but NOT commanded. The church is supposed to be a body. Scripture says if one member of the body suffers, the whole body is supposed to suffer. That is NOT the case in today's church. One member is able to suffer and the body ignores it. You can say that people are only human or make mistakes. It doesn't matter. Christians are supposed to live life ABOVE REPROACH. Christians are supposed to be the ABSOLUTE best people in society. I look around and I don't see anything. MANY Christians know I am suffering, but to help would interfere either their comfortable happy lives.

Even IF church were a command, church is simply an assembly of believers. Worthy is an assembly of believers. So I AM going to church when I AM on here. Command obeyed.

Taylor, are you going out and visiting sick people? Perhaps you should . Or visit widows. Or orphans.

Can you go out and practice your religion?

Honestly I would love to. Unfortunately I am dealing with my own crisis right now and can't show compassion that I haven't experienced myself.

[~candice~]

Hello Mizzdy. I am doing a new post because I am unable to reply for some reason on another post.

Thankfully there is NO ACTUAL COMMAND to go to church. It might be suggested or recommended yes, but NOT commanded. The church is supposed to be a body. Scripture says if one member of the body suffers, the whole body is supposed to suffer. That is NOT the case in today's church. One member is able to suffer and the body ignores it. You can say that people are only human or make mistakes. It doesn't matter. Christians are supposed to live life ABOVE REPROACH. Christians are supposed to be the ABSOLUTE best people in society. I look around and I don't see anything. MANY Christians know I am suffering, but to help would interfere either their comfortable happy lives.

Even IF church were a command, church is simply an assembly of believers. Worthy is an assembly of believers. So I AM going to church when I AM on here. Command obeyed.

Taylor, are you going out and visiting sick people? Perhaps you should . Or visit widows. Or orphans.

Can you go out and practice your religion?

Honestly I would love to. Unfortunately I am dealing with my own crisis right now and can't show compassion that I haven't experienced myself.

You might find you comfort each other .

But let me tell you something I learned painfully when I felt lonely and incredibly sad. 2 Cor 1. We comfort others with the comfort we have received from God. There is a spiritual lesson in this. We must learn how to sit and receive comfort from God. That is not something anyone else can teach you or impart into you. It is about sitting quietly, listening to Him, reading His Word, believing His promises. Only when you have learned to receive that comfort from God can you comfort others. That comfort is available in the here and now for you. So I urge you not to go through this bitter lonliness for no reason. Learn the lesson, learn how to receive His comfort. And then, cry out to the Lord, Lord if I am to be lonely, at least use that lonliness for your kingdom. Focus on the Lord and others above yourself. Because later on, once you've learned to receive His comfort, He can use you to comfort others. But right now, your focus is "me" and ideally we have died to self and live to serve the Lord, esteeming another higher than ourselves.