Am I being selfish?

[MooseGirl]

We started going to church a little over a year ago. Now my 5 year old probably knows more about the Bible then I do. I am very new to the things of the Bible.

There is this family in our church who has 5 kids under the age of 7. The parents teach our teen class. 3 of the kids are old enough to go to kids club. Now we have 4 kids under the age of 11, so 3 are old enough to go to kids club. We have been watching their 2 plus our one on Wednesday's during adult Bible study. I have told my husband I dont want to go on Wednesday's any more because I get nothing out of the study since I am watching 2 kids, he watches ours. I feel cheated since I am very new and want to learn, and this couple and others in the church have been going to church for many, many years but we have to watch the kids.

I know 4 of the adults miss Sunday morning service due to sunday school and the baby room, I have offered to help out at times so they could go to service, but they say no. One of them did make the comment, Well I do miss am service, thats why I offered to help.

My husband has said that I need to talk to them about not doing it but I cant. They are great people, and I am afraid if I say no I cant watch them then the teens will be out a teacher. I feel the teens need teachers.

I guess I feel like I should be allowed to learn and not babysit. Am I being selfish? Please be honest. I try and think what Jesus might tell me but I cant really come up with anything that would help me decided one way or another. I just hate going to church anymore on wednesdays, which causes huge fights between my husband and I. He says its better I am at church to watch the kids then not go at all. Which to me makes no sense really.

Am I being selfish?

[ayin jade]

No you are not being selfish at all. You are still a young believer (spiritually) with the hunger to learn. Your priority should be the Lord, then your family, then service. You need to learn. I think you should speak to them, tell them your need, your desire, to learn, and how hard it is to do that while babysitting. They might not even recognize your need. Talk to them. Clearly this is all wrong for you as it stands now.

[irishcowboy]

I can empathize with you about being out of the service.....

the nursary and the kids church are wonderful ministries, and should be treated as such.....

our church has a schedual, we take one service a month in the nursary, we have no children under 13 ( youngest just turned 13 ).....

we have four times on sunday where some one is in the nursaries ( infants, and toddlers ) and one on Wednesday evening.....

the persons that have the first service do not sit nursary for the second service or the evening service.... makes it so that every one can attend church.....

each and every person that sits nursary, or works with the youth have been investigated ( back ground checks )......

yes there are times that a schedualed worker is ill, or can not make it for some reason, and some one else has to fill in for a service.... most of the time this is a short notice thing.....

we also have the service piped into the nursary ( speakers with volume adjustments ).....

as I said at the first, i know the feeling about feeling trapped into doing nursary...

one peticular congregation, we were asked to "fill in" from time to time, i had no children at all, and was glad to do my part.......

as soon as we joined the church, we managed to attend two services in about 4 months.... cause we were sitting the nursary every service with no speaker to listen to the service.....

every one needs to be ministered to, and every one needs to be ministering to others.... that is what it is all about.... sharing the Love of Jesus with others.....

I love the nursary.... we are taking activities in for the toddlers, we sing to them let them sing.... we read to them, we have colouring, and we are teaching them not to be selfish.... some are only child(s)....

we have some childrens video's, and song cd and tapes..... it is a ministry... not a baby sitting service..... I love this ministry, but feel that if I was in there each and every service, i would burn out fast ( kids are fast pace ) and i would not be receiving the annointings that i need......

we all need to be fed the Word of God..... we need the time to Fellowship with others and worship with others to grow stronger....... we need other people on our level and above our level so we can help those on other levels of understanding and growth as needed.....

mike

[AfterHisHeart]

I agree with Ayin Jade. I don't think that you are being selfish at all. You have a heart to seek God, and being in the position of being the one to watch the children, you are not receiving spiritual food. Since you are a new believer, it is important for you to be sitting in the service, hearing the Word of God. I think that you should talk to someone, and come up with a plan that will permit you to hear the message sometimes, instead of only watching the children.

I will be praying that you find the courage to speak to those who can make a change that will meet your needs as a new believer.

Be Blessed,

Shar

[Kabowd]

My husband has said that I need to talk to them about not doing it but I cant. They are great people, and I am afraid if I say no I cant watch them then the teens will be out a teacher. I feel the teens need teachers.

You're husband is right, you need to be open and discuss the issues in order to find a solution that works for everyone. Don't assume that just because you aren't able to do it each time, that it means the students won't have a teacher. Remember, God provides. He isn't going to leave His children without help. I think it's great that you have been willing to help out, but it shouldn't be one person's responsibility week in and week out. Other members of the body should be serving in this capacity as well. I don't think you're being selfish..you're being hungry...hungry to be spiritually fed. It's very likely that the couple serving the students don't even realize the burden it has put on you. So you would be helping everyone if you spoke up (in love) and let them know that the whole nursery/child-care thing needs re-worked. Let them know that you want to help out but that you need fed spiritually too and that it's unwise for you to consistently miss out on the teaching time. Maybe you could offer to help organize some sort of a rotation? It sounds like some of the other ppl need to step up and serve.

One thing too....the longer you keep doing something that makes you unhappy, you are inviting the enemy to make you angry and bitter over it. That's why it's best to talk things out and not let the enemy have a doorway into causing division. Also, if you're doing all the work it's keeping someone else from the blessing of serving others. Giving is always better than receiving. Those in your church who are only receiving are missing out on a blessing.

Hope that helps!

~Tess

[Orr v'emet]

I don't believe you are being selfish at all. You obviously feel you have some growing to do and it's hard to do that watching children despite the fact that it is a great ministry. There is nothing selfish about being in a place where you need to be fed spiritually. Perhaps the other church members will be able to relieve some of the duty to allow you time to be fed as well as minister. Let us know how it turns out!

[Nicks Girl]

I don't think you are being selfish at all! As a young believer you need to be taught, and under teaching so YOU can grow! And take care of your own families spiritual needs. If you are feeling like you are missing out on something, you need to talk to them. I'm sure they will understand.

Blessings,

Deirdre

[MooseGirl]

On Wednesdays we really dont have a special place to go. There are 3 kids under the age of 2. One is ours and the other 2 are not....LOL So for now I have been keeping the other 2 in service with us but soon that will have to stop. Our church is fairly small yet about 200 on the weekends per service, and a lot less on Wednesday night. There are more kids then adults usually one Wednesday

Four of the adults I hate to ask because they do Sunday school so they miss 1 service a weekend. My husband is lucky he can multi-task and still learn, I on the other hand.....can not.

We do record all of the sermons, and my husband and I keep them and make the copies people need. So I have always thought I can just listen to them at home...Ha that is way easier said then done. I was told that the enemy would make it hard to be with God and read the Bible etc, I kinda thought yea whatever.. but I am learning it is soooooo true. Please its not the same as getting it in person.

Thanks for all of your imput. I will have to do something soon before I just get angry and say something I shouldnt. Lets just say in their house the kids run the show....and it shows alot at church also.