A community who don't even kiss until they are married.

[nebula]

 

 

 

I find it sad that people want to speak downward on those who want to keep purity in their love-relationship.

 

First I will point out that everyone is different, and what is needed for one is not needed for another.

 

But the core is that we should celebrate those that take whatever extreme is necessary to keep pure.

 

My now-husband and had previously committed to God to remain sexually pure in His eyes with our relationship. He seeks the Lord on things, and his sense from the Lord was to not kiss during the time we were dating/courting/developing our relationship. However, we were allowed the freedom to kiss cheeks, noses, foreheads, arms, etc., and we found a kind of joy in such that we most likely would not have known had we engaged in mouth-mouth kissing. We also discovered that by not kissing on the mouth, it kept us guarded by default not to go any further. And I believe here is the key to this reasoning. If a couple wants to remain sexually pure, they need to do what it takes to guard against falling into temptation - and not kissing mouth-mouth is an awesome guard! No, it's not easy, but neither is resisting any other temptation.

 

Do I think it should be a rule not to kiss on the lips before marriage? No. We were actually given the freedom to kiss such after we became engaged. But we discovered that by then we had developed resistance enough that we were OK to not go further. (Besides, it was actually good for me to loosen up - being a 41 year-old virgin, that's a lot of years to suppress one's sexual urges, especially against a culture that's immersed in sexuality and sexual expression.) But that is what was useful and beneficial to us. My brother on the other hand was told (what he sensed from the Lord) to not kiss until marriage.

 

Thus, we should encourage whatever guards are needed for each couple to remain pure, being aware that what is needed for one couple is different from another. Setting guards on kissing is a very good guard, and we should not mock or look down on those who take this route.

I don't think it ought to be celebrated if they are forcing this on other people.They aren't more 'pure' for not kissing. Why would that even be argued? If a specifc couple decides that they will better obey the gospel (i.e. kissing is too much of a temptation for actually sinning) then great, good for them. But, that is not the case for many people. They aren't any better, or worse, than a couple who doesn't participate in this. They certainly are not more pure.

This is not a biblical position.

 

 

Where do you see that this is forced?

 

As for the Biblical position - our way of "dating" isn't Biblical to begin with!

 

But how are people worse for being obedient to an authority (father) who is trying to protect them?

 

The 'forcing' is the community part- when that is promoted as a 'superior' way others will feel pressured into it inappropriately. Where is that in there either? As far as I see, what is prohibited is sexual relations before marriage. If a couple has to abstain from kissing to avoid that, I get it, but that is about them and their own weaknesses.

 

 

What I mean is - where in the article was there a mention of a community forcing this?

 

And is it being "promoted" as superior? Or encouraged as a means to counter the ungodly culture?

[CAP73]

I like kisses.

[missmuffet]

I like kisses.

LOL  No no that is not what this thread is all about.

[CAP73]

But now I fear them.

[CAP73]

The Judge just asked for a kiss before he went to bed...I was scared to.

[missmuffet]

I think to sum this up that I commend them for their moral choices.That kiss is going to be REAL NICE once they say "I DO".  

[nebula]

I don't think we ought to counter 'ungodly culture' by extreme extra biblical measures. I find that to be counterproductive.

 

You still haven't explained where it says this was forced.

 

And whoever said this was "biblical"?

 

Bary, you aren't analyzing this issue scientifically, it seems. Rather, the impression that comes across is a knee-jerk reaction. How come?

[nebula]

 

 I would commend a couple who makes that sacrifice knowing for them it's something they need to do to avoid the actual immoral behavior.

 

 

Do you perceive that these couples were not making this sacrifice to avoid immoral behavior?

[GoldenEagle]

I don't know that imposing unnecessary restrictions is a good thing. If people choose to do that, fine, but this could easily turn into a situation in which couples are under pressure to do this, even though it's not actually sinful to kiss, and in the process create unnecessary guilt, divisions and so on.

 

I agree. Kind of like everyone should dress a certain way?

 

The problem is when we take personal convictions and decide they're Biblical truths (for everyone).

 

Is waiting to kiss until marriage a good thing? Sure. My wife and I did that. We lived in the same city, were in our mid-twenties, we had a long engagement, and saw each other weekly (and almost every other day). It was helpful in order to not be tempted to go further physically.

 

But is it mandatory for everyone? Nope. My parents kissed before marriage. So did my grandparents (on both sides). No problem.

 

God bless,

GE

[missmuffet]

I think too many people are on the defense in the topic.It is a small community.I think some people here think people are shaking their finger at them if they kiss.That is not what the post is all about.It is a choice. :huh:A choice I happen to respect.