just_abc Posted July 18, 2013 Group: Senior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 901 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 543 Days Won: 1 Joined: 12/06/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted July 18, 2013 (edited) deleted by poster Edited July 26, 2013 by just_abc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coheir Posted July 18, 2013 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 104 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,458 Content Per Day: 0.55 Reputation: 729 Days Won: 5 Joined: 02/09/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/31/1950 Author Share Posted July 18, 2013  In many cultures, they keep the maiden name regardless. There is nothing wrong with keeping ones maiden name. My maiden name is quite unusual and I was single for 30 years. I took my husbands name but have been missing my maiden name now for quite awhile. It is who I am.  Your assertion that she didnt leave her family to take his name is a bit off. The bible says the man leaves his family and cleaves to his wife.  Genesis 2 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife and they shall be one flesh.  Husbands and wives dont need wedding bands to know they are married. A wife does not need to take his last name to know she is married. It is nothing more than a hold out from times when a woman was barely a step above property according to the laws of the land.  The only time I could see this being a problem is if the husband or wife is at odds with the other over this issue.  i was not trying to quote any verses I did not mean to twist it around from a biblical stand point. i was pointing toward the fact that when a woman marries she leaves her place of residence and that part of her life and in a since leaves the family to move in with the husband. Sometimes far off away from parents and siblings. The only people i have ever met that uses a hyphen have all been in the last 20 years before that I had not met any one using a hyphen.i had thought is was past of the womens Liberation movement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fez Posted July 18, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 683 Topics Per Day: 0.12 Content Count: 11,128 Content Per Day: 1.99 Reputation: 1,352 Days Won: 54 Joined: 02/03/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/07/1952 Share Posted July 18, 2013 My wife is in the process of applying for temporary citizenship, which here takes five years. Â For that reason she uses my surname for some things (like insurance, medical aid, etc), and for others, like her drivers licence, etc, she uses her surname because her ID is her passport. Â No big deal. Â I just call her sweetie, and leave it at that......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coheir Posted July 20, 2013 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 104 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,458 Content Per Day: 0.55 Reputation: 729 Days Won: 5 Joined: 02/09/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/31/1950 Author Share Posted July 20, 2013 Its so good to hear others beliefs and experiences, its helps me grow even if it s not showing yet, thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Page95 Posted July 23, 2013 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 0 Topics Per Day: 0 Content Count: 8 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/22/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted July 23, 2013 I personally think that you should go over to your spouses surname and lose your own maiden name. Perhaps I am just old fashioned but I think that once you leave your parents and cleave to your husband then you should use your husbands name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyKay Posted July 23, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 12 Topic Count: 385 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 7,692 Content Per Day: 1.91 Reputation: 4,809 Days Won: 3 Joined: 05/28/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted July 23, 2013 i have met some ladies who use their married name; a hyphen and their maiden name as one name. Is this wrong did they not leave their parents to marry a man. i know they say to honor the name of mom or dad but seems they can honor the husband without the hyphen and also can honor parents without the hyphen. what does people here think about this. Â Â No it is not wrong. It is a personal choice. I have found no were in the Bible where it says I must take my husband's name in order to honor him. Nor my parent's name to honor them (if someone has please let me know) As far has honor goes, there are many ways to honor someone. And I would not consider a women to be dishonoring her husband by not taking his name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coheir Posted July 23, 2013 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 104 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,458 Content Per Day: 0.55 Reputation: 729 Days Won: 5 Joined: 02/09/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/31/1950 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 Â i have met some ladies who use their married name; a hyphen and their maiden name as one name. Is this wrong did they not leave their parents to marry a man. i know they say to honor the name of mom or dad but seems they can honor the husband without the hyphen and also can honor parents without the hyphen. what does people here think about this. Â Â No it is not wrong. It is a personal choice. I have found no were in the Bible where it says I must take my husband's name in order to honor him. Nor my parent's name to honor them (if someone has please let me know) As far has honor goes, there are many ways to honor someone. And I would not consider a women to be dishonoring her husband by not taking his name. Â I never looked at it like you do so I will need to think on it a little. Granted I am with you on the part about many ways to honor parents or husband. And wife even though wife is not the subject here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shorryshaggy Posted July 24, 2013 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 97 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 18 Days Won: 1 Joined: 12/18/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/18/1966 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Another thing to consider perhaps.. is that in some cultures a woman removing her own family name and replacing it with her husband's family name [surname].. might have a deeper meaning.  In some cultures.. for example some patriachal asian cultures.. when a woman gets married she is considered as leaving her own family and joining her husband's family instead. If a woman removes her family name and replaces it with her husband's family's name.. this might reinforce that she has now left her own family and become a part of his family instead.  The concept of females leaving their own families to become a part of the husband's family is possibly partly one reason why in some asian cultures having a boy child is preferred to having a girl child. If a family has a girl child.. they will lose the child when she marries. But if a family has a boy child.. the child will remain as part of the family {and the family gains yet another member when he marries}. So the family with girl childs will lose a member.. and the family with boy childs will gain a member {and gain even more members if/when the daughter-in-law gives birth to children}  Sorry - don't wish to go off topic  But just wanted to mention this to explain that in some cultures a woman removing her family's name and replacing it with her husband's family name - reinforces the cultural view of the woman having joined the husband's family. i.e. It has a deeper meaning.  Thanks.  I would agree with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shorryshaggy Posted July 24, 2013 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 97 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 18 Days Won: 1 Joined: 12/18/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/18/1966 Share Posted July 24, 2013 I have known a couple that did the hyphen name but they both took it. They did it as a woman's lib thing and stated that they expected any child that they had would do the same, I pictured great great grandchildren with long long names. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just_abc Posted July 25, 2013 Group: Senior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 901 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 543 Days Won: 1 Joined: 12/06/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted July 25, 2013 (edited) deleted by poster Edited July 26, 2013 by just_abc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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