Was marriage only to favor men's problems ?

[TsukinoRei]

ephesians 5:22-33

 

²² Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

²³ For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

²⁴ Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

²⁶ That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

²⁷ That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

²⁸ So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

²⁹ For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

³⁰ For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

³¹ For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

³² This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

³³ Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

 

so to answer your question, no. The above passage explains the men and womans roles perfectly-the woman is to submit to her husband, and the husband is to cherish his wife. Best way to explain it Ive heard, a friend taught me this in college. A woman, is submit to her husband-a common sign of submission, is to kneel. So a wife, is to kneel before her husband. Now, before I get accused of being sexist (which Im not) a man, is to love (or cherish) his wife (verse 25) What do men do to things they love, and/or cherish? they put them on pedestals, for all to see. So a man, is to put his wife, on a pedestal. If a woman is kneeling before her husband she is doing everything to meet his needs and trusting his leadership. If a man is putting his wife on a pedestal, it means he loves her and is doing his very best to meet all of her needs, so it creates an equal partnership, where while the man may lead, both are equal and both are getting their needs met.

 

Now, if that example is not heeded, you will have problems. If the woman is kneeling in submission, but the man DOES NOT put her on a pedestal, the woman gets trampled on and her needs are not met, this is not healthy for any relationship.

 

If the man puts the woman on a pedestal, but she does NOT kneel, you have the exact opposite, you have the man getting trampled, and his needs are not met.

 

If neither are doing their role-if the woman is standing and the man will not put her on a pedestal, you have two people fighting over whos boss, trampling each other, and neither one are getting their needs met.

 

None of those 3 examples are Biblical, for a marriage to work properly the first example needs to be met-the wife kneeling with the husband putting her on a pedastal. In that example, both partners are equal, both get their needs met. they make their decisions together, and they trust each other.

 

The first part always gets cut off! (lovely analysis though)

 

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

[firestormx]

According to 1 Cor 7:9 it seemed it was only men who were addressing their problems . Does it really mean that marriage was only provision to satisfy men's needs ? Was such application suitable in todays' life ? Suppose women had their grievances and ask Poul " suppose I'm married and I'm not sexuality satisfied " Do you think Poul would give them another alternative ?

1 Corinthians 7:2-5     ( NKJV )

Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. ³ Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵ Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control

 

I might jumped on for this post, but here we go.

 

I have always understood these verses to say that the woman's needs are just as important as the mans. Sexual and otherwise. Do you see in the above passage in verse 5 what it says? We are not to deprive our spouse of affection. Do you see the first part of verse 3 ? It is a biblical responsibility of the husband to give his wife affection. Here is the part I think I will get clubbed over the head for. I've always understood verse 3 to include all affection. That would include not just sexual affection, but cuddling and holding as well.

 

I will go into more detail if you ask me to, but the short answer is this.

 

The bible says women deserve having there needs and affections meet in every way in a marriage that a man does.

 

Firestormx

Joseph

[Sevenseas]

I'm not reaching for a club Fire.  I think respect for the person is what makes anyone feel accepted and not used.  OK...I was serious there.

[TsukinoRei]

 

According to 1 Cor 7:9 it seemed it was only men who were addressing their problems . Does it really mean that marriage was only provision to satisfy men's needs ? Was such application suitable in todays' life ? Suppose women had their grievances and ask Poul " suppose I'm married and I'm not sexuality satisfied " Do you think Poul would give them another alternative ?

1 Corinthians 7:2-5     ( NKJV )

Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. ³ Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵ Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control

 

I might jumped on for this post, but here we go.

 

I have always understood these verses to say that the woman's needs are just as important as the mans. Sexual and otherwise. Do you see in the above passage in verse 5 what it says? We are not to deprive our spouse of affection. Do you see the first part of verse 3 ? It is a biblical responsibility of the husband to give his wife affection. Here is the part I think I will get clubbed over the head for. I've always understood verse 3 to include all affection. That would include not just sexual affection, but cuddling and holding as well.

 

I will go into more detail if you ask me to, but the short answer is this.

 

The bible says women deserve having there needs and affections meet in every way in a marriage that a man does.

 

Firestormx

Joseph

 

 

Why would anyone club you over the head for pointing out such a wonderful message of mutual love for marriage!  Excuse me, I need to go give my husband a cuddle now.  

[firestormx]

 

 

According to 1 Cor 7:9 it seemed it was only men who were addressing their problems . Does it really mean that marriage was only provision to satisfy men's needs ? Was such application suitable in todays' life ? Suppose women had their grievances and ask Poul " suppose I'm married and I'm not sexuality satisfied " Do you think Poul would give them another alternative ?

1 Corinthians 7:2-5     ( NKJV )

Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. ³ Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵ Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control

 

I might jumped on for this post, but here we go.

 

I have always understood these verses to say that the woman's needs are just as important as the mans. Sexual and otherwise. Do you see in the above passage in verse 5 what it says? We are not to deprive our spouse of affection. Do you see the first part of verse 3 ? It is a biblical responsibility of the husband to give his wife affection. Here is the part I think I will get clubbed over the head for. I've always understood verse 3 to include all affection. That would include not just sexual affection, but cuddling and holding as well.

 

I will go into more detail if you ask me to, but the short answer is this.

 

The bible says women deserve having there needs and affections meet in every way in a marriage that a man does.

 

Firestormx

Joseph

 

 

Why would anyone club you over the head for pointing out such a wonderful message of mutual love for marriage!  Excuse me, I need to go give my husband a cuddle now.  

 

I've had men get rather upset with me at thought that they were suppose to cuddle and hold their wives just as much, if not more than they wanted sex from them. Or to quote the verse, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church. Christ always goes above and beyond anything we can ask or think.

[firestormx]

I'm not reaching for a club Fire.  I think respect for the person is what makes anyone feel accepted and not used.  OK...I was serious there.

I've heard these passages used to point out women's role in marriage. I don't think I've ever heard the same verses used to point out a man's. It's suppose to be equal. Just like a marriage.

[The_Patriot21]

 

ephesians 5:22-33

 

²² Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

²³ For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

²⁴ Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

²⁶ That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

²⁷ That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

²⁸ So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

²⁹ For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

³⁰ For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

³¹ For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

³² This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

³³ Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

 

so to answer your question, no. The above passage explains the men and womans roles perfectly-the woman is to submit to her husband, and the husband is to cherish his wife. Best way to explain it Ive heard, a friend taught me this in college. A woman, is submit to her husband-a common sign of submission, is to kneel. So a wife, is to kneel before her husband. Now, before I get accused of being sexist (which Im not) a man, is to love (or cherish) his wife (verse 25) What do men do to things they love, and/or cherish? they put them on pedestals, for all to see. So a man, is to put his wife, on a pedestal. If a woman is kneeling before her husband she is doing everything to meet his needs and trusting his leadership. If a man is putting his wife on a pedestal, it means he loves her and is doing his very best to meet all of her needs, so it creates an equal partnership, where while the man may lead, both are equal and both are getting their needs met.

 

Now, if that example is not heeded, you will have problems. If the woman is kneeling in submission, but the man DOES NOT put her on a pedestal, the woman gets trampled on and her needs are not met, this is not healthy for any relationship.

 

If the man puts the woman on a pedestal, but she does NOT kneel, you have the exact opposite, you have the man getting trampled, and his needs are not met.

 

If neither are doing their role-if the woman is standing and the man will not put her on a pedestal, you have two people fighting over whos boss, trampling each other, and neither one are getting their needs met.

 

None of those 3 examples are Biblical, for a marriage to work properly the first example needs to be met-the wife kneeling with the husband putting her on a pedastal. In that example, both partners are equal, both get their needs met. they make their decisions together, and they trust each other.

 

The first part always gets cut off! (lovely analysis though)

 

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

 

 

I didnt cut it off intentionally-I just thought the meaning, was repeated later on when we get to the part where husbands were to love their wives. I just saw no reason to be repetitive.

[TsukinoRei]

 

 

 

According to 1 Cor 7:9 it seemed it was only men who were addressing their problems . Does it really mean that marriage was only provision to satisfy men's needs ? Was such application suitable in todays' life ? Suppose women had their grievances and ask Poul " suppose I'm married and I'm not sexuality satisfied " Do you think Poul would give them another alternative ?

1 Corinthians 7:2-5     ( NKJV )

Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. ³ Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵ Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control

 

I might jumped on for this post, but here we go.

 

I have always understood these verses to say that the woman's needs are just as important as the mans. Sexual and otherwise. Do you see in the above passage in verse 5 what it says? We are not to deprive our spouse of affection. Do you see the first part of verse 3 ? It is a biblical responsibility of the husband to give his wife affection. Here is the part I think I will get clubbed over the head for. I've always understood verse 3 to include all affection. That would include not just sexual affection, but cuddling and holding as well.

 

I will go into more detail if you ask me to, but the short answer is this.

 

The bible says women deserve having there needs and affections meet in every way in a marriage that a man does.

 

Firestormx

Joseph

 

 

Why would anyone club you over the head for pointing out such a wonderful message of mutual love for marriage!  Excuse me, I need to go give my husband a cuddle now.  

 

I've had men get rather upset with me at thought that they were suppose to cuddle and hold their wives just as much, if not more than they wanted sex from them. Or to quote the verse, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church. Christ always goes above and beyond anything we can ask or think.

 

 

He died on a cross!  Come to think of it he washed feet to.  You guys have some pretty harsh orders their when it says to love your wives as Christ loved the Church, AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT!    But really, either commandment to husbands or wives is really harsh and creates a terrible relationship when taken on their own.  If wives are to submit to their husbands alone then they become slaves rather than partners.  If men alone are to serve their wives then they too become slaves rather than partners. A blessed marriage is one in which both people lower themselves, submitting to one another in love, making themselves vulnerable to each other because they trust that in turn their partner will lift them up and that each will care for the others needs above their own.   That is true intimacy!

 

It's a reflection of the manner in which we are to love God, trusting that when we submit to Him and give our everything over to Him, He will lift us up and care for us.  For He submitted Himself unto death on a cross.  

 

That is what I believe a biblical marriage is.

[firestormx]

 

 

 

 

According to 1 Cor 7:9 it seemed it was only men who were addressing their problems . Does it really mean that marriage was only provision to satisfy men's needs ? Was such application suitable in todays' life ? Suppose women had their grievances and ask Poul " suppose I'm married and I'm not sexuality satisfied " Do you think Poul would give them another alternative ?

1 Corinthians 7:2-5     ( NKJV )

Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. ³ Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵ Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control

 

I might jumped on for this post, but here we go.

 

I have always understood these verses to say that the woman's needs are just as important as the mans. Sexual and otherwise. Do you see in the above passage in verse 5 what it says? We are not to deprive our spouse of affection. Do you see the first part of verse 3 ? It is a biblical responsibility of the husband to give his wife affection. Here is the part I think I will get clubbed over the head for. I've always understood verse 3 to include all affection. That would include not just sexual affection, but cuddling and holding as well.

 

I will go into more detail if you ask me to, but the short answer is this.

 

The bible says women deserve having there needs and affections meet in every way in a marriage that a man does.

 

Firestormx

Joseph

 

 

Why would anyone club you over the head for pointing out such a wonderful message of mutual love for marriage!  Excuse me, I need to go give my husband a cuddle now.  

 

I've had men get rather upset with me at thought that they were suppose to cuddle and hold their wives just as much, if not more than they wanted sex from them. Or to quote the verse, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church. Christ always goes above and beyond anything we can ask or think.

 

 

He died on a cross!  Come to think of it he washed feet to.  You guys have some pretty harsh orders their when it says to love your wives as Christ loved the Church, AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT!    But really, either commandment to husbands or wives is really harsh and creates a terrible relationship when taken on their own.  If wives are to submit to their husbands alone then they become slaves rather than partners.  If men alone are to serve their wives then they too become slaves rather than partners. A blessed marriage is one in which both people lower themselves, submitting to one another in love, making themselves vulnerable to each other because they trust that in turn their partner will lift them up and that each will care for the others needs above their own.   That is true intimacy!

 

It's a reflection of the manner in which we are to love God, trusting that when we submit to Him and give our everything over to Him, He will lift us up and care for us.  For He submitted Himself unto death on a cross.  

 

That is what I believe a biblical marriage is.

 

Amen! I just thought I'd get more push back. Glad I was wrong.

 

God Bless you

Firestormx

Joseph

[TsukinoRei]

 

 

 

 

 

According to 1 Cor 7:9 it seemed it was only men who were addressing their problems . Does it really mean that marriage was only provision to satisfy men's needs ? Was such application suitable in todays' life ? Suppose women had their grievances and ask Poul " suppose I'm married and I'm not sexuality satisfied " Do you think Poul would give them another alternative ?

1 Corinthians 7:2-5     ( NKJV )

Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. ³ Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵ Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control

 

I might jumped on for this post, but here we go.

 

I have always understood these verses to say that the woman's needs are just as important as the mans. Sexual and otherwise. Do you see in the above passage in verse 5 what it says? We are not to deprive our spouse of affection. Do you see the first part of verse 3 ? It is a biblical responsibility of the husband to give his wife affection. Here is the part I think I will get clubbed over the head for. I've always understood verse 3 to include all affection. That would include not just sexual affection, but cuddling and holding as well.

 

I will go into more detail if you ask me to, but the short answer is this.

 

The bible says women deserve having there needs and affections meet in every way in a marriage that a man does.

 

Firestormx

Joseph

 

 

Why would anyone club you over the head for pointing out such a wonderful message of mutual love for marriage!  Excuse me, I need to go give my husband a cuddle now.  

 

I've had men get rather upset with me at thought that they were suppose to cuddle and hold their wives just as much, if not more than they wanted sex from them. Or to quote the verse, Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church. Christ always goes above and beyond anything we can ask or think.

 

 

He died on a cross!  Come to think of it he washed feet to.  You guys have some pretty harsh orders their when it says to love your wives as Christ loved the Church, AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT!    But really, either commandment to husbands or wives is really harsh and creates a terrible relationship when taken on their own.  If wives are to submit to their husbands alone then they become slaves rather than partners.  If men alone are to serve their wives then they too become slaves rather than partners. A blessed marriage is one in which both people lower themselves, submitting to one another in love, making themselves vulnerable to each other because they trust that in turn their partner will lift them up and that each will care for the others needs above their own.   That is true intimacy!

 

It's a reflection of the manner in which we are to love God, trusting that when we submit to Him and give our everything over to Him, He will lift us up and care for us.  For He submitted Himself unto death on a cross.  

 

That is what I believe a biblical marriage is.

 

Amen! I just thought I'd get more push back. Glad I was wrong.

 

God Bless you

Firestormx

Joseph

 

 

Thank you for bringing it up.  I'm glad you didn't get more push back too.  I met a lot of people at Bible College who really just focussed on the part of the passage that commanded women to submit.  I don't know if Conservative Christianity has moved on from that over the past few years, or if this forum attracts more moderate people.  Either way it seems like a nice place!  I really expected to get driven out with pitchforks long before now.  Instead I'm making friends!