Fed up with wife!

[carlos123]

So how did the swinging around the sitting room go?

If we don't hear from you we'll assume you've been hospitalized!  LOL

Well I didn't quite swing her around today. I decided to take the less enthusiastic, and safer , approach of coming up to her, giving her a kiss on her cheek, and telling her that I loved her and that everything would be okay while hugging her. Letting her know that I did not think I would have any problem securing a job in that which I am good at (telemarketing / sales / appointment setting).

She didn't break down in tears and cry and tell me how she was so sorry or anything like that (I didn't expect it anyway) but it felt nice for me to do that and to show kindness like that of the Lord to her. It was something I think He was pleased with.

Surely God is a compassionate God and wants my wife to know that. I just pray and hope that the Lord might bring her around to seeing Him afresh and that though the mountains may shake and fall into the sea that there is no reason to walk around in fear and agony of heart. For He is with us.

She is sleeping soundly for an afternoon nap before the nights activities and I am thankful that she has slowed down enough to do at least that.

Carlos

Edited December 7, 2004 by carlos123

[Guest edgar serrano]

If I may, I just would like to pray for you and your wife.

Heavenly Father Yours is the power and the glory forever, Amen. Lord God and Creator of all that surrounds us, from the unseen universe to the very breath of life that You give us. Lord I pray for the healing of this marriage that You have allowed to bring together. I pray that Your healing Spirit convicts and replenishes the love that this couple needs, wants and seeks. Lord God may Your blessings fall upon their house. May You let this two hearts rejoice and find the love to continue loving one another. Lord God I pray that the faith, the hope and the love that You have so freely bestowed upon Your church shines and perseveres in the hearts of Carlos and his wife. Lord God and loving Vine, I pray that You let all couples be reminded that apart from You we are nothing. I pray that You convict us and let us know that apart from You we would wither and be thrown away. Lord God and loving Father, please may Your Arms be the shelter and happy abode of these two hearts. Lord God may Your will be done, in Jesus name. Amen

[carlos123]

If I may, I just would like to pray for you and your wife. ...

Thanks Edgar. Your prayer brought genuine joy to my heart as I read it through the mositure welling up in my eyes. A moisture caused by a renewed awareness of the Lord's lovingkindness in having considered this broken and lowly piece of clay valuable enough to have inspired a brother like you to offer up the prayer that you did for me and my wife.

I know that it has been said so often as to seemingly loose all meaning but "God bless you!"

Carlos

[Guest edgar serrano]

Praise be to God Almighty my dear brother. Praise be to Him whom by His grace has saved us and continues to redeem and transform us to His likeness. Praise to be to the One that loves us even though our hearts fail to remember how much He loves us. Praise be to Him that fills you with joy, even in the darkest of times. Praise be to Him whom all the glory and power belong to. May His blessings continue to fill your kind heart with His pure and Fatherly love.

In Christ,

Edgar Serrano

[Guest Getting_Real]

Hi Carlos

I'm a little late here, but I wanted to let you know about something that has really impacted me recently.

We all know that as men we are commanded to love our wives as Christ loved the church, and lay down our lives for them.

What hasn't been as well emphasised is that women are commanded to RESPECT their husbands. Loving comes naturally to women - they are made in a 'relational' fasion. But the command in the Bible is to respect - and not just if they think their husbands are worthy of it. Paul even goes as far as to say that a Christian woman can win her non-Christian husband to Christ through the power of respect.

Think of it like this - what man ever says about his staff "I want them to love me"? No, he normally says "I want my staff to respect me". And men know the dangers in treating another man with disrespect.

Here is a link that can explain it much better than I ever could.

www.loveandrespect.com

And there are two amazing spoken messages on this page (Respect: A Marriage Essential I & II):

http://www.oneplace.com/Ministries/Focus_o...ly/Archives.asp

I don't know enough about your marriage to presume that this is relevant, but I wanted to make it available in case - forgive any presumption.

[carlos123]

Hi Getting_Real,

I'm a little late here, but I wanted to let you know about something that has really impacted me recently.

I wish you would have told us a bit more about what specifically impacted your life and what the Lord taught you Getting_Real (I'll refer to you as GR if you don't mind ).

We all know that as men we are commanded to love our wives as Christ loved the church, and lay down our lives for them.

What hasn't been as well emphasised is that women are commanded to RESPECT their husbands. Loving comes naturally to women - they are made in a 'relational' fasion. But the command in the Bible is to respect - and not just if they think their husbands are worthy of it. Paul even goes as far as to say that a Christian woman can win her non-Christian husband to Christ through the power of respect.

Think of it like this - what man ever says about his staff "I want them to love me"? No, he normally says "I want my staff to respect me". And men know the dangers in treating another man with disrespect.

I agree completely GR. I said as much in a previous post on this thread but your summary here says it in a nutshell better than I did.

Here is a link that can explain it much better than I ever could. 

www.loveandrespect.com

I appreciate the link GR but after reading through some of their "free" articles I was pretty turned off by the site. Their "free" articles are almost entirely oriented around trying to sell their marriage seminars. I am sure their seminars are probably full of great stuff but I have always thought it decidedly unscriptural to sell God's truths in the form of a seminar that is not available to all. Freely we have been given and freely we should give.

Don't take this to mean I am not appreciative of what may be your genuine attempt to give me your input GR. I am but I am also painfully aware that many, many couples in this world do not have the money to pay for marriage seminars and that there are many couples in the church at large that could teach younger or less mature couples how to have a good marriage that do not speak up.

I see a real problem in not freely sharing with others what may be great stuff from God about marriage and packaging it in a seminar that one must pay to hear. I don't see that in line with the spirit of Jesus who, although He was rich, became poor for us that through His poverty we might become rich in His righteousness. Or in the spirit of Paul who never demanded a cent from those he preached to and who endured terrible hardships to bring others the gospel message of God's love freely. He undercut the very notion of "selling" the gospel by not accepting money from the Corinthians so that he could prove his love for them. That he wanted them not their money.

I could not access the second set of articles you pointed to in terms of hearing them since I do not presently have a speaker phone on my computer.

I don't know enough about your marriage to presume that this is relevant, but I wanted to make it available in case - forgive any presumption.

Just so you know GR I have been very open about our marriage on this thread. Although it might not be fair to expect anyone to read through all the 100 posts or so on this thread to find out about my marriage so as to be, as you put it less potentially presumptious, it might have come accross better if you had read at least a few more of the posts than you seem to have read.

Perhaps I have had one too many bad experiences with spamming of forums and newsgroups but given your lack of explanation of how exactly these articles impacted your own life, given your apparent lack of reading enough posts about my marriage to more particularly and relevantly give me your personal input, and given that you just joined the forum yesterday, you came accross as someone who was more interested in directing forum members to the sites than in giving valuable input to me in a personally relevant way.

No offense intended GR. Just describing how your post came accross to me in case you are not aware that it comes across more like a spammer than a Christian trying to help.

Carlos

Edited December 10, 2004 by carlos123

[Guest Getting_Real]

Hi Getting_Real,

I'm a little late here, but I wanted to let you know about something that has really impacted me recently.

I wish you would have told us a bit more about what specifically impacted your life and what the Lord taught you Getting_Real (I'll refer to you as GR if you don't mind ).

We all know that as men we are commanded to love our wives as Christ loved the church, and lay down our lives for them.

What hasn't been as well emphasised is that women are commanded to RESPECT their husbands. Loving comes naturally to women - they are made in a 'relational' fasion. But the command in the Bible is to respect - and not just if they think their husbands are worthy of it. Paul even goes as far as to say that a Christian woman can win her non-Christian husband to Christ through the power of respect.

Think of it like this - what man ever says about his staff "I want them to love me"? No, he normally says "I want my staff to respect me". And men know the dangers in treating another man with disrespect.

I agree completely GR. I said as much in a previous post on this thread but your summary here says it in a nutshell better than I did.

Here is a link that can explain it much better than I ever could.

Edited December 13, 2004 by Getting_Real

[carlos123]

Hi GR,

I decided to not quote what you said in order to make my post a bit shorter than my usual . I hope that was alright.

Thanks for clarifying where you were coming from GR in a spirit of humility and a willingness to forbear with any misunderstanding I may have had about your post. I feel I must apologize for what may have been a too easily formed opinion about you from your post. Sorry about that GR.

I would also like toi welcome you to this forum and invite you to continue posting your thoughts either on this thread or others.

I don't frequent this forum too often, or any other for that matter, but I have found this one to be about as good as they come and have found great help and encouragement here when I have needed it.

The moderators appear to do about as good of a job as can be expected to keep troublemakers out and there seem to be quite a number of sincere and committed Christians here, which is great.

Again sorry for not having inquired more as to where you were coming from before jumping the gun and virtually assuming that you were a "Christian" spammer. Great to hear how you were personally impacted by material of the sort you linked to.

By the way, why did you use the Latin/Greek "Deo volente" in place of saying "God willing"? Do you have an interest in Latin/Greek? Just curious. It's not every day that I see someone use Latin/Greek phrases in their posts

Carlos

Edited December 13, 2004 by carlos123

[Guest Getting_Real]

Hey Carlos

Thanks for the welcome. I think this forum looks pretty cool so far so I'll likely stick around. Seems that people post more often than some of the other Christian forums I've checked out so far.

No worries on the misunderstanding - spam wouldn't be such a problem if it wasn't so common everywhere you go. Understandable.

The Deo Volente phrase - actually it's an interesting question you ask. I'm not sure exactly why it popped out - I'm not learned in latin or greek at all. Funny thing is, when I was about 16 years old I played in a Christian band called Deo Volente. As it turned out, God wasn't so keen on that band - it didn't go anywhere But I think since then the phrase has just been an unconcious part of my vocabulary, albeit normally in the more abbreviated form - D.V. Perhaps it also seems more serious to me than saying 'God willing' - which seems to have become almost a pat saying in some circles.

Well, I hope things continue to improve for you and your wife.

Cheers

GR

[dwinkjr]

Carlos,

it is great to see, that you are working throught things with your wife. A few suggestions on the boots.

First instead of just walking away and leaving the conversation, a simple I am sorry honey I thought they were dry I will be more considerate next time.

Now as far as fixing the boot situation, if you are just running in the house for a minute maybe asking her to get what you need for you is one alternative. At least then if she says get it yourself you are justified in going in with your boots on. lol

In all seriousness, she should be just as willing to compromise as you are. Remember though she may be in the middle of something and can't do it right that second so be patient, or just take the boots off

God Bless,

Dave