Celibacy - Gift/No Gift

[Guest HisG]

Hey guys, and good evening. I have a good question.

Do you think celibacy is a gift implanted from God into a christian, or is it something that takes time, practice, service and continual prayer..

thus being a choice we make.. - Blessings All, DRS81

I believe permanent celibacy is a choice. This has always been my personal view of it. It doesn't make sense to me that abstaining from sex would be a 'gift', even if it was for the most heavenly of reasons. I abstain from drinking, which is something that I choose to do...so does my abstinence in drinking make that abstinence a 'gift'? I don't think so. There's a lot of 'gifts' floating around if this is the case.

Hi Wapoh,

I'm answering here on a point - I don't equate sex and drinking alcohol as being anywhere on the same plane. It's poles apart.

Yes sure one can abstain from anything but a sexual union in t he way God intended is such a spiritual as well as a physical thing (IMO) where drinking alcohol could never be.

[Guest shiloh357]

 

DRS81,

 

You're a lonely person, aren't you?

 

I think we're all lonely in some degree shiloh.

I'm not lonely at all.   The point is that it seems you really fixate on being single.  If you wanna be single then be single.   I've just noticed over the years that people who are lonely try to deal with the pain of loneliness by trying to make it a virtue.  I have noticed that you seem to be making singleness a counter cultural virtue and it appears to be a coping mechanism.

 

I have a suspicion though, if a relationship wiht the opposite sex were to present itself to you, all of this stuff about being single and celebate  would go out the window for you.   If had the gift of celebacy, none of this matter. 

 

 It all depends on how you balance it out though, but going against the grain of society will do that to you. You gotta wanna go against the grain, and people fear and hate what they don't understand. And I'm not even talking about the fact that a man should want to be a father and choose fatherhood to be a part of his journey

I don't see what it is about being single and celebate that goes agaisnt the grain of society or how society hates or fears such a thing.   If you don't want to be a father then don't.    Society, as far as I know, only condemns men who are fathers that don't want to be.  I have never seen anyone condemned for not wanting children so long as they don't bring unwanted children into the world.

[Шарон]

 

Hi Wapoh,

I'm answering here on a point - I don't equate sex and drinking alcohol as being anywhere on the same plane. It's poles apart.

Yes sure one can abstain from anything but a sexual union in t he way God intended is such a spiritual as well as a physical thing (IMO) where drinking alcohol could never be.

 

 

I understand. Perhaps you're right. But I don't really understand whether or not you're agreeing with me or not in that I don't believe celibacy is a 'gift. Lol...

 

Anyway. Whether my way of looking at it is wrong or not, I still can't see how celibacy would be a gift. It's a choice. Let my clarify, I don't view choosing to be permanently celibate as a bad choice though.

[Guest HisG]

Hi Wapoh,

I'm answering here on a point - I don't equate sex and drinking alcohol as being anywhere on the same plane. It's poles apart.

Yes sure one can abstain from anything but a sexual union in t he way God intended is such a spiritual as well as a physical thing (IMO) where drinking alcohol could never be.

I understand. Perhaps you're right. But I don't really understand whether or not you're agreeing with me or not in that I don't believe celibacy is a 'gift. Lol...

Anyway. Whether my way of looking at it is wrong or not, I still can't see how celibacy would be a gift. It's a choice. Let my clarify, I don't view choosing to be permanently celibate as a bad choice though.

Sorry Wapoh,

I wasn't very clear

I view it as a gift because in my thinking anyway, it would be ultra hard to choose to do off your own bat.

I think those that have chosen to live that way at some points in their lives and failed badly may have not have been "gifted" in it.

In my head, the natural human need to seek and want a sexual partner is too strong to compete with on "your own".

[Guest DRS81]

If you wanna be single then be single.

 

Fair enough. Am I annoying you shiloh by talking about this.

[Guest shiloh357]

 

If you wanna be single then be single.

 

Fair enough. Am I annoying you shiloh by talking about this.

 

No.   I just know from experience that lonely single people seem to fixate on the pain of being single.  That is perfectly normal.   This is not the first time you have brought up this kind of issue.   Sometimes the way lonely singles work through the pain of being alone is to talk about it  and their frustration with how society sees marriage as the normal way of things. 

 

Tell me this:   If an opportunity for a relationship with a woman that you found desirable presented itself to you, would you reject her?

[Guest DRS81]

Tell me this:   If an opportunity for a relationship with a woman that you found desirable presented itself to you, would you reject her?

 

I already have, more than once. Heck, I could of been married with kids at age 20 if I wanted too, but everything changed after salvation. At the end of the day, I'm not blaming society or anyone else.  I'm just getting my feelings out. At the end of the day I know why I'm staying single (i have my reasons), but you're right. There is pain involved, but it would be more painful and stressful on my body to be a father. And no I don't regret or feel bad about talking about it. I find it's healthy to get it off my chest. Rejecting women is not easy, but if I don't wanna be in a relationship then that would just make my partner miserable. I get a lot of beef from my family as to why I'm still single, it's probably why I talk about it much. Sexuality is just a part of life, so talking about it is ok I think. George Clooney ended a lot of relationships because he didn't want kids, so why even start the relationship to begin with.

[Hall7]

Hey guys, and good evening. I have a good question.

 

Do you think celibacy is a gift implanted from God into a christian, or is it something that takes time, practice, service and continual prayer..

 

thus being a choice we make.. - Blessings All, DRS81

It's definitely a choice, if Monks can do it so can we. Plus according to the Word, all Christians should be Celibate until marriage.

[Hall7]

Tell me this:   If an opportunity for a relationship with a woman that you found desirable presented itself to you, would you reject her?

 

I already have, more than once. Heck, I could of been married with kids at age 20 if I wanted too, but everything changed after salvation. At the end of the day, I'm not blaming society or anyone else.  I'm just getting my feelings out. At the end of the day I know why I'm staying single (i have my reasons), but you're right. There is pain involved, but it would be more painful and stressful on my body to be a father. And no I don't regret or feel bad about talking about it. I find it's healthy to get it off my chest. Rejecting women is not easy, but if I don't wanna be in a relationship then that would just make my partner miserable. I get a lot of beef from my family as to why I'm still single, it's probably why I talk about it much. Sexuality is just a part of life, so talking about it is ok I think. George Clooney ended a lot of relationships because he didn't want kids, so why even start the relationship to begin with.

You can always try to find a woman who can't have any kids, not all women want kids.

[Hall7]

Being Celibate for the rest of your life isn't the answer for happiness unless you like being alone. There are ways around not having any kids, you just have to find the right woman who wants the same thing you do. You might change your mind later in life though, kids are very healing in many ways.