Struggling with my faith

[JessicaD]

So God is all knowing right?

In March of 2015 i was saved as well as my husband just days before our divorce was suppose to be final. When i got saved I saw such beauty in our marriage, working as a team, happy, trusting, and so in love with God and each other.  

Started marriage counceling with Pastor to get our lives where they needed to be. I know for a fact that it was God who reconsiled our marriage. I prayed to him asking him to show me what I needed to do and it was perfectly clear that he wanted our marriage back together. 

Here is my struggle. I dont doubt what i heard or where God wanted me at that time.  But why would he reconsile a marriage for it to go back to all the destructiveness that you had left in the first place?

I dont know how to bring my marriage back to where it once was. When i try and talk to him (husband) about what is going on he blames it on me. I have prayed out to God to help me and the direction that he wants me to go in and dont have a clear view of what he wants. I am listening to books, researching, reading and still nothing. And reading scripture

Why would he show you something so clear and now i feel as though he is silent?  I know that God doesnt want us to hurt, i know God doesnt want me to be verbally abused, i know God doesnt want my husband looking at gross images on the computer.  

So why is he silent? I am starting to lose my faith because this is the worst that our marriage has ever been

[kwikphilly]

Blessings Jessica

    Welcome to Worthy,I am really glad you are here so that you have support & encouragement......because that is exactly what God wants you to have and it is Him that is speaking to you through His Body,He is NOT silent and He is Faithful to His Word,you can count on it & depend on Him! He lead you here Sister,He knows your heart

Quote

 

Deuteronomy 31:8 - And the LORD, he [it is] that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.

Isaiah 41:10-13 - Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. 

Psalms 55:22 - Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.

2 Timothy 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Hebrews 4:16 - Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

The problem is rather obvious and you must know what it is better than we do,you said your husband is verbally abusive and looking at smut,he has transgressed & is waking further & further away from God,God must be FIRST,the First Love in each of your lives,the Center of your relationship as One Flesh....

Jessica,you have to provoke your husband to jealousy by going about your life in Christ,by staying focused on Jesus you will not sink in spite of the wind & the waves on the stormy seas.....Trust God,you say you Believe that God reconciled the marriage & so you must ask Him His Will & to lead & guide you ,giving you direction according to the Purpose of your Calling.....you must remain firmly established in Gods Word,His Will & His Ways by staying in close ,intimate Relationship with Him.....you may be focusing too much on what is "wrong' with your husband instead of what is "right" with your Relationship with our Lord

When a Believer falls into temptation & is listening to the enemy he is being distracted by what has become more attractive to his flesh(carnality)...if he is a truly Born Again Christian(as you said he was) then his flesh is his hindrance but his spirit is still Indwelled,He must return to His First Love,Jesus    Nothing will be right between the 2 of you until that happens....will it?I cannot tell you that but I can tell you that when you have Joy,Peace,Comfort and all the fruits of the Spirit flowing from you in your words & actions it will be very appealing to your husband,he must be absolutely miserable struggling with his flesh & spirit & you know what they say about "misery"-it wants company....this spirit has made itself comfortable in your home........it has no legal right to trespass on Gods Property(you & hubby) ..

   Jessica,stand on your Position of Victory & pick up your Authority in Christ!!! Put on the Full Armor of God because no weapon formed against you can prosper ....you can do ALL things in Christ Who Strengthens you and remember not to fight with your husband because your struggle is not with him,it is with the enemy   I would anoint m,y house with oil(the oil is not magic) but the Blood of Christ is the Power,the Holy Spirit is the Councilor,the Helper,the Power.....pich up the Sword of the Spirit & speak Gods Word to those principalities & cleanse your house

Quote

King James Bible
And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.                                                                                          Joshua 24:15

God inhabits our praise,walk around praising the Lord & usher in His Glorious Presence,no devil in hell will want to stay in your house!!!! Get busy Sister & stop struggling & being sad,,,,,rejoice,simply draw near the King of kings,daughter of God Most High & if your husband(son of God Most High) is gonna get right with God he will certainly be outnumbered until then(Remember,you & God ARE the MAJORITY!! & all His Heavenly Hosts) What made your marriage so fantastic before,God was the Center,it was all about God)....don't let hubbys problem be yours,Jesus is the solution and the marriage is sanctified under your Grace,the Believer.....TRust God,focus on Him.....change your prayers of "help me" to "Praise Jesus,thank you God-Bless my husband and draw him back because I know you are"

    I do hope this encourages you to renew your mind,pray the Heart & Mind of Jesus and just seek Gods Will to be done.........you can ALWAYS have JOY & PEACE in any circumstance....that's what usually makes the transgressors envy us..........I'm praying for you                With love-in Christ,Kwik

[Guest]

I don't really know your circumstance, but what I do know is, as Kwik has said, that GOD is first. GOD tests us, not because HE doesn't know how we will behave, but to show us how we need to trust HIS Son no matter what. GOD has decreed that a marriage is forever during our time on this Earth. Except for adultery, divorce is forbidden. BUT, that doesn't mean that you have to take abuse either. And indulging in porn is adultery. So, you have a choice. Do you continue to seek after the Lord and His Will, or do you take matters into your own hands? Maybe GOD's Will is that you separate yourself from the situation while continuing to love your husband as Christ loves you. Remember, when you are (I'm speaking of a generic you) living in sin, you are out of the Grace of GOD and receive no blessings from HIM. But, once you repent of your sin, HE is faithful and just to forgive you of your sin and cleanse you from all unrighteousness. Once again you receive HIS blessings (remember, I'm not talking about you). Perhaps a separation, and your example of Christian love, will tun your husband from his sinful ways and you can get back together. That's just my opinion and you can take it for what it is worth. I will pray that GOD grants you the wisdom to do what HE wants you to do (whatever that may be.) GOD bless you!

[kwikphilly]

Good advice Rick

     Yes,it is true.....we can only know however much you tell us Jessica but as you can see,we are both in one accord.......we must keep GOD FIRST and simply follow Him wherever He leads......I never said "stay or go" & neither did/would Rick .....we both say,God does Sanctify a marriage  when He is the Center of it and because"sin" is present there is the "wedge"......please,read what we have both said & pray about getting the desires of your heart right & for hubby to return to Him and resist the devil,Walk your walk Sister,it is time to put your Faith into action.....if God is for you who could be against you?      With love-in Christ,Kwik

[Ezra]

10 hours ago, JessicaD said:

When i try and talk to him (husband) about what is going on he blames it on me.

Jessica,

It seems like your counseling sessions should continue with the pastor.  There are unresolved issues to deal with. But both parties have to honestly present their issues and if they are sincere, the pastor can help resolve them with Scripture.

There is usually blame on both sides, but blaming does not help.  People also have their blind spots which only a third party can detect and expose.

A commitment to repent -- change one's attitude, behavior, motives, etc. -- is necessary.  Let's hope your pastor can administer a rebuke to whoever needs one.

[enoob57]

The work that lies in the sanctification of believers is no easy task... reckoning oneself dead to that of the old
pathways is impossible without the power of God's Spirit in first considerations of all else that presents itself
in this life... what most of the time occurs is we try to saddle God with the responsibility of changing us
without effort on our part! We are privileged to take part in the walk with God and He will expect us to use our
own feet He has given us  ... Prayers... Love, Steven

[disciplehelovestoo]

22 hours ago, JessicaD said:

So God is all knowing right?

In March of 2015 i was saved as well as my husband just days before our divorce was suppose to be final. When i got saved I saw such beauty in our marriage, working as a team, happy, trusting, and so in love with God and each other.  

Started marriage counceling with Pastor to get our lives where they needed to be. I know for a fact that it was God who reconsiled our marriage. I prayed to him asking him to show me what I needed to do and it was perfectly clear that he wanted our marriage back together. 

Here is my struggle. I dont doubt what i heard or where God wanted me at that time.  But why would he reconsile a marriage for it to go back to all the destructiveness that you had left in the first place?

I dont know how to bring my marriage back to where it once was. When i try and talk to him (husband) about what is going on he blames it on me. I have prayed out to God to help me and the direction that he wants me to go in and dont have a clear view of what he wants. I am listening to books, researching, reading and still nothing. And reading scripture

Why would he show you something so clear and now i feel as though he is silent?  I know that God doesnt want us to hurt, i know God doesnt want me to be verbally abused, i know God doesnt want my husband looking at gross images on the computer.  

So why is he silent? I am starting to lose my faith because this is the worst that our marriage has ever been

have you ever been distracted when someone was speaking to you?  maybe you were having a serious conversation in the kitchen, and right in the middle of someone trying to tell you something, you hear a pot of pasta boil over and dash to correct it, only to realize afterward that you didn't hear what they said, even though they were speaking?

God is never silent; but often i find that when He is trying to tell me something, i am so distracted that i don't hear Him even though He's speaking; and this is usually because He's telling me something that my flesh does not want to hear.

maybe God wants you to learn how to hear Him tell you how to fix your marriage, and you're listening to the pastor and other people instead - like listening for the pot to boil over as a priority over listening to someone who's trying to tell you how to keep the pot from boiling over...

God didn't reconcile your marriage; you did - and the way you did this was to strive to hear Him and follow His leading; now you must not get distracted from Him so that you will hear Him tell you how to restore the joy in your marriage as He speaks

what does your husband blame you for when you try to talk to him about your marriage?  that is likely what is distracting him from hearing you

[JessicaD]

He has blamed me for his rage i wouldnt do that if you didnt nag me  (I compassionately brought to his attention that i found out he was looking at porn) 

I wouldnt have rage if you would be a better mother and discipline the children how i want you to

I wouldnt look at porn if you wouldnt make me mad

I wouldnt want to look at porn if i knew you werent snooping on me

The list goes on and on