Why Prisoners are Worth Our Time

[Big Steve]

While I agree there are many prisoners who are worth our time, there are many more who I don't have the time of day for.

My view my be skewed by the fact I am a Corrections Officer in a county facility. I interact with inmates every day who are the for everything from simple traffic charges to murder.

We offer church services and Bible study twice weekly for all of our inmates. Unfortunatlely, the majority of them attend just to socialize. There is a percentage, I would estimate an honest 10%, who are truely there to worship.

I try to be understanding of their situations when I can, but every day I watch these guys try to work the system, manipulate other inmates and staff, and all out brawl with each other over something as simple as what tv channel to watch. Our goal is to get through the shift and go home with no staff getting hurt, as well as not letting any unnecessary harm come to any inmate either. It's a very unpleasant environment to be in, and our safety and security is the number one priority.

I really am a totally different person at work. I "flip the switch" so to speak when I get there, and don't trust or believe anything I am told by an inmate until I verify it for myself. I don't look or talk down to them, as respect goes both ways in this type of environment, and I'm well respected by the inmates because of how I interact with them. But I always question their motives, even though I don't let them know it. I've seen many say thay have found God, only to do something to totally contradict that. That's why it takes me awhile to really believe someone has changed for the better. Actions speak louder than words.

I don't mean any offense to anyone who has family members inarcerated. I've had family in there as well. Not everyone in there is a bad person, absolutely not. I am just very hardened towards alot of these guys when it comes to these things. It's hard to forgive someone when they are repeatedly incarcerated for crimes such as rape or child abuse or sexual assault, which I see alot of.

[Can Do (Phil 4:13)]

Constant, NP and Big Steve,

Thankyou for your love and support. NP, It is INCREDIBLY DIFFULT having Chris in jail. I am 3000 kilomtres away from him and every single time I have received a letter, I wind up in another deep and dark depression. If I wasn't a full time mother of two pre school aged kids, it wouldn't bother me so much that I fall so hard when he writes, but the fact is I do and for the time being I will have to pray for him instead of writing.

My brother is a convicted peadophile, *gulp* has committed other drug related crimes over the years and is now serving well deserved time locked away. My mother and another elder brother keep in regular contact with Chris, so I know pretty much, how he's keeping. I have thought of writing him a small note to let him know that I am finding it too emotionally difficult to maintain contact. I want to let him know that I don't love him any less, even though the full shock and horror of what he did has sunk in. It hurts writing about it, so I'll finish here.

Faithie

[keslc]

I am awed by the bravery and honesty in this thread. To be sure, this is a difficult topic. I understand a lot of what everyone is saying. I just want to mention, though, that forgiveness or compassion does not make what these people did "ok". Forgiveness means giving up your justified right to retaliate. It doesn't mean you allow the wrong doing to continue or happen again. It doesn't mean consequences aren't faced. Isn't this what happened between each of us and Jesus? He would be totally justified in retaliating against us for the sins we've committed. However, not only did he lay that right down, but He took that punishment for us. Does that mean it was ok to do the things we did against Him? No. Does it mean we should be allowed in continuing to do them? No. Do we still face consequences for our sins even though we've been forgiven and spared from Hell? Yes...disease, broken relationships, financial emotional and physical hurt can all be results of sin that we must face.

When somebody does an awful thing, we want justice to be done, especially when the person shows no remorse for their actions. Yes, it can infuriate a person when this is the case. I know, I've been there. THere are 2 situations in my life where I have had to wrestle forgiveness to the ground, but eventually it won. When I was a child, there was a man in our extended family who molested me. When I became an older teen and young adult, the situation began to haunt me once more. This person, in the mean-time, had married a christian woman and was led to Lord. He was truly sorry and asked my forgiveness. I at first said I forgave him out of a want to forgive, but I didn't know if it was in my heart. I struggled with anger a long time, but I prayed that I would one day mean the words "I forgive". Eventually, I was able to mean it, and the thing is, it did not restore HIM at all, but it was the beginning of MY HEALING. I see him at family functions and such, but we are not tight-knit. He is not to be alone with my children and he knows and respects that. Yes, I love him but it is hard.

The other situation has to do with a friend of a family member who hurt my son. Now, mamas.....you know how it cuts when someone hurts your child. Well, I was furious!!!!! When I confronted this person....he totally denied the entire thing and and to this day acts as if he is wrongly accused and the victim here. Yes, I'd love to wallop him good and I think that I would be "justified" at least in the world's view. However, what I am dealing with in the aftermath of this event, is that same struggle with forgiveness. Legally, justice is done, but personally it's hard to feel like that's enough. I'm working on laying down my right to "wallop" him. I'm working on keeping that bitterness at bay so it will not ruin me. I pray for help with that. I also pray that he would feel conviction for his actions and seek forgiveness. Some days I don't care if he is forgiven, but I know that is not the attitude the Lord would want me to nurture. I deep deep down, do hope he turns and follows the Lord. If he doesn't the Lord will "wallop" him a whole lot stronger than I ever could.

Anyway...all that to say that forgiveness is hard, but it is something we need to search for like a treasure. I pray for each of my brothers and sisters here and I love you!! God bless!

[Shelby]

All of your positions are valid. I want to say that absolutely. A few things I want to add. I work in corrections as well. I am not in a facility, but everyday I receive mail from hundreds of inmates. It really takes a heart of forgiveness and discernment when responding to these men and Women. I love my job. I am fascinated by the testimonies of some of the inmates. Trust me, I know that there are many who are manipulative and deceiving, I am not naive, but that doesn't negate those who are really changed. We really need to offer God's Grace and forgiveness. Most of the people who are in prison have never felt unconditional love. It is a whole new concept to them.

Trust me I know how hard it is sometimes to see them as human, and consider the possibility of them receiving forgiveness of some unfathomable crimes, but they are human, and they are one mistake different from me.

I am a victim of malicious crimes. I was molested by many people when I was a child, then as a young adult, I was raped. (Felt like I had a target on my head). I have a hard time still with some of the sexual offenders that I work with, but I do know it is not for me to judge. So I pray God leads me to the right words to say, and resources to give.

Also, I have friends in prison too. I have a friend, Katie's friend too, who is prison for Murder. He did it, and doesn't deny it. He was a teenager, and was high, but made a conscious decision to take someone's life. He is paying that debt right now. But I know him, he has deep remorse, and he has grown to be a man in the pen. He has accepted his responsibility, and claims all fault, and is rehabilitated. I would hate for someone to discount him, by a stupid mistake (an awful one at that) that he did as a teen. He has learned his lesson. He will get out in like 5 or so years hopefully. I pray that he can finally see what it is like to be free. And I pray he will use his experiences to help other kids not follow the same path as he did.

I have other friends and family who have gone to jail or prison for other reasons to, I love them, and I am disappointed, so when I am corresponding to the inmates who write me for prayer, a Bible Study, a place to go after prison, a spiritual pen pal, etc, I try to see those who I actually know in their letters. I do visit some facilities sometimes, and it really brings truth to my life. They are just like me, but with one or more mistakes that I was able not to make.

MHO.

(BTW - Kate, I want to wallop him too, I could also think of a few more things, and I think our husbands feel the same. He better never be alone anywhere near either of them, I fear for what they might do in the heat of the moment. And God bless Nathan, God will use your quick response to him later in life, and maybe someday he will be able to tell you all of what happened. That was one of the scariest days of my life. I am sure you are with me, when I say it was like it was happening to me all over again) I love you sis!

Big Steve, you are an honorable man, not just anyone could do that job. My father works at Juvi Hall in N. St. Louis, MO. Rough area, and the same day as my grandma's funeral, one of the kids there, hung himself. The kids are hard, because they really do have a chance to turn it around. You are a beacon is a very dark cave. GBU

[keslc]

(BTW - Kate, I want to wallop him too, I could also think of a few more things, and I think our husbands feel the same.  He better never be alone anywhere near either of them, I fear for what they might do in the heat of the moment. And God bless Nathan, God will use your quick response to him later in life, and maybe someday he will be able to tell you all of what happened.  That was one of the scariest days of my life. I am sure you are with me, when I say it was like it was happening to me all over again)  I love you sis!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I love you too! I know God sent you to be with me that day!

[Constant]

I work at the military prison where I am stationed and it really is a hard emotional job. I honestly hate going in to work. We have this one inmate who violated a 6year old. I try not to learn why they are here but when I found this out, I wanted to beat him very badly with my fists. What a sick and twisted person. I can only hope that the family that he damaged emotionally can one day forgive him and that one day this guy will find the Lord and ask for forgiveness and mean it! It is so hard to look at some of these people and forgive them because that is what we should do. I still feel anger and probally alot of hatred for these people but, I do forgive them. God bless all of you and thank you so very much for sharing your stories with us.

Al

[Shelby]

I can appreciate your frustration and resentment of these predators. But as a victim since I was atleast 4 years old, I would say, God will judge them. Often these predators were victims themselves at one time in their life, and that is what they know. It does not excuse it, but it does help to see another aspect of that person. I am sure, since he is in prison, that the little girl feels more safe, and she will have problems with trusting men, but her family is aware and can get her help. I had no help, I felt lost and confused, and really disconnected from everyone I knew. But God brought me out, it didn't ruin my childhood or my life, and it continued on for years after the first time.

Just pray that the man feels remorse, and that God will convict his heart, and have him recognize his sin, and crime, and that he will apologize, not just in words but by changing himself. It is really hard to do that. But there is nothing that you can do that can compare to the justice of God.

GBU and I hope God will help you to see the blessing in working where you do. You have the ability to change lives daily by your witness. GBU

[Constant]

I can appreciate your frustration and resentment of these predators.  But as a victim since I was atleast 4 years old, I would say, God will judge them.  Often these predators were victims themselves at one time in their life, and that is what they know.  It does not excuse it, but it does help to see another aspect of that person.  I am sure, since he is in prison, that the little girl feels more safe, and she will have problems with trusting men, but her family is aware and can get her help.  I had no help, I felt lost and confused, and really disconnected from everyone I knew.  But God brought me out, it didn't ruin my childhood or my life, and it continued on for years after the first time. 

Just pray that the man feels remorse, and that God will convict his heart, and have him recognize his sin, and crime, and that he will apologize, not just in words but by changing himself.  It is really hard to do that.  But there is nothing that you can do that can compare to the justice of God. 

GBU and I hope God will help you to see the blessing in working where you do.  You have the ability to change lives daily by your witness.  GBU

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Hey Shelby,

It was actually a little boy but that is beside the point. Now when I am at work, I tell people who ask me if I want to know why so and so is in prison, no, I don't need to know. God will take care of them. Do you ever wonder what goes through these people's minds when they do what they do? I too was molested by an immediate family member when I was like 10 years old. At the time I never told anyone. Until 2 years ago, I went up to him and talked to him about it. We talked for ever and we cried and held each other. He is such a wonderful person. He was young when it happened also. He is saved, Thank God for that! We have a great relationship now and that it is in the way past. I will never forget what happened to me but I will forgive. I guess it is different when something happens to you. You know you have to forgive, it's the right thing to do. When it is other people, I myself, find it a little harder to forgive. I suppose it is because I don't know the people at hand or the situation.

[thereaperman]

ive just started writing to someone on death row in texas, i felt god was calling me to write to someone, and hes a christian and he sounds like a really great guy, truley someone on my "to meet" list in heaven

[Constant]

ive just started writing to someone on death row in texas, i felt god was calling me to write to someone, and hes a christian and he sounds like a really great guy, truley someone on my "to meet" list in heaven

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It is really great of you to do that!