how do you stop being a christian

[seraph]

Hi Spark,

As I have said, I am so sorry for all you have been through. You have been through tragedy and you have been hurt by others who proclaim to be Christian. Christians, like anyone, are not perfect, so they will, at times, make mistakes and unfortunately hurt others. However, that should not be their character or consistent behaviour. Just like a good fruit tree will produce good fruit, occasionally there is that one bad piece of fruit. Conversely, don't be deceived by a bad tree occasionally producing a good piece of good fruit... even those not following God can choose to do a good thing. You need to look for consistency... if someone claims to be a Christian, are they showing love to others? Does their behaviour match what they proclaim to believe? Christians still sin, but it should not be a lifestyle... when there is a sin, it should be followed with repentance. For example, a priest/pastor molesting children who proclaims to be a Christian yet lives a lifestyle of essentially murdering the spirit of a child would really cause me to seriously doubt their salvation.

You Will Know Them by Their Fruits - Matthew 7:15-20
15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them.

John 13:35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

I know you have an idea of what Christians are like based on your past experience... stereotypes do not appear out of thin air, they are based on something observable. So do not blindly trust, but also do not assume all fit your stereotype. Look objectively at their words and behaviour. 

There are Christians on this board that suffer from nightmares from the things they have been through. I suffered for many years... waking myself up screaming and in a panic. These were caused by someone who called himself a Christian... when I got saved, God did not stop him from hurting me. I would be reasonably sure that God did intervene so that it wasn't worse than it was. The problem with people is that they do not always use their free will to choose to do good. I prayed a lot for this person yet he didn't change; I did not blame God or get angry with God over the choices someone made. I had tried to forgive and let go for awhile... when I truly did (it was an out-of-the-blue moment and I wasn't even thinking about it at the moment), the burden lifted and the frequent nightmares stopped. Occasionally I will have a nightmare or a trigger response to something, but I am not tormented by it any more. Conversely, holding onto things from the past that you need to move on from can be just as damaging... you can feel blessed for the time you had, but staying stuck in the past just leaves you stuck in the past which can be tormenting as well. Forgiving the bad doesn't make the bad ok and moving on from the good doesn't devalue the good.

Now, that real peace you saw in your friend... God's peace is a real peace... despite circumstances, and I believe you have experienced some of that peace and joy. I'm not sure why you would not want that, unless you are feeling you do not deserve it or expected problems to disappear when becoming a Christian or are not feeling that initial 'rush' and think something has changed. I do not know if you past is making you feel like you are too broken to fix or do not deserve it; do not let others define you... see how God sees you: immeasurably loved regardless of anything you have done or has been done to you. The fact is, we are all broken and in need of a Saviour.

Romans 8

1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The fact is, we are all broken and in need of a Saviour. Jesus came to heal the sick (imperfect sinners) and not the healthy (none of us are 'good enough') and not the dead (none of us are too far gone).

Luke 5:30-32

30 And their scribes and the Pharisees complained against His disciples, saying, “Why do You eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?”

31 Jesus answered and said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. 32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”

 

As Christians, we can expect struggles. Some are a result of living in a fallen, sinful world. Even Jesus suffered, so we cannot expect to be without some pain. But even if God does not deliver us out of a particular situation, He is there with us to help us get through it. Some of the worst things I have had to endure in my life have been as a Christian... I have been through some torturous things that have felt unbearable. The difference between going through those things as a Christian is I know God is with me to get me through it and He will not give me something that I cannot handle... it may feel unbearable but that is when I rely on His promises that do not ever fail.

Joshua 21:45 Not a word failed of any good thing which the Lord had spoken to the house of Israel. All came to pass.

1 Corinthians 10:13  No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

He doesn't just observe our struggles or merely reaches out a hand, but gets down into the pit with us and lifts help us out... of course it takes effort on our part.

Psalm 40:2

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.

And He will not waste that struggle... He will bring good out of it... our faith can be strengthened because of it and we can help others who experience the same struggles.

Romans 5:3-5

3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Comfort in Suffering - 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ.

It seems to me, that if God - who is all-knowing and wants what is good for you - won't let you go (as you have said), it is because He knows what is best for you can be obtained by clinging to Him... He knows you would not be better off without Him. Don't give up, Spark. I will continue to pray for you.

[Dok]

On 9/1/2016 at 9:35 PM, spark said:

Answer me 

When did you pray to receive Jesus Christ as Savior? How old were you? Do you remember the prayer? Will you share it here? What did you experience following the prayer? I'll be blessed to "speak" to you privately. Just let me know. 

 

[marvalusxoxo]

spark, first of all if you are doubting so then you may not have been HIs to begin with. Furthermore, nobody is too broken for our Savior to fix, and God does not need you and there is nothing you can do or need to do to be worthy of Him... He has done it all! that is why when He died that terrible death He said: It is finished. In addition, you need not the approval of other Christians ... just look up to heaven and seek His face... go to Him just as you are with all you have... sins and sins and more sins and He will take you with open arms and cleanse you and pardon you and make you into a new creature. I did I brought all my sins and sins and I did nothings ... spark... for He already did it all all!!

you will be in my prayers.

[john14:6]

spark, in your sept. 2 post you talked about real Christians and fake Christians. I am a Christian who was a fake before I became a real Christian.

spark, could you explain what makes a person a real Christian?

 

John

[gerbilwoman]

On 9/1/2016 at 10:32 PM, spark said:

Is death the only way out?

No.  Please don't kill yourself, if that is what you are referring to, it's not the answer to anything.  I hope you find peace with God, regardless of what that looks like for you.  Sending hugs.

[RustyAngeL]

On 9/10/2016 at 10:33 AM, Abdicate said:

Well Spark, God demands perfection. That's a fact. There's NOTHING you can do to fit that requirement. See, we're sinners not because we sin, but because we're born that way. God knows this. This is why He sent His Son Jesus to live as a man, 100%, and Jesus did. His whole life was as a Man. He didn't use His authority as God at any time. Everything He did here on earth was as a Man. Tempted like us, was hungry like us, got angry like us, got tired like us and got sad like us. But. Jesus listened and obeyed the Holy Spirit and said only what He was told to do by the Father. Jesus had to learn too. He didn't know it all as a Man. He too had to learn obedience, Hebrews 5:8. Jesus was born of a virgin and had no sin in Him. That is the ONLY difference between Him and us. Yet, He still lived His entire life without sin. So when the devil made it so man would crucify Jesus on the cross, the devil forfeited his right to man just like Adam did when Adam sinned and forfeited his right to the universe. Because the devil killed an innocent Man.

When Jesus rose from the dead, He paved the way for us to follow. We died with Him on the cross, and we rose with Him from the dead. Jesus freed those that believe from sin. But when we become "born again" we are ALL babies. God wants us to be adults, but the vast majority of Christians, if indeed Christians, are perpetual babies or worst, still-born (false)! The "1, 2, 3, pray after me" has no repentance to it, no confession of sins, no belief in their heart or sorrows for their sins. It's become a formula, a way to earn favor with God when it's all about Jesus, not some formulated words. These formulated words are being accepted like having fire insurance instead of true change. God doesn't want behavioural modifications, He was heart transformation!

So, call on Jesus and not man or buildings filled with men. Jesus died for YOU, why would you want to go to man for advice? Get yourself a bible, pray, calling out to God for understanding and read His word. Provoke Him to show Himself to you. That's salvation. He loves you. He died for you. He'll give you everything you need to overcome, even Christians.

Romans 8:32-33 (KJV)
He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? [It is] God that justifieth. 

 

Spark, just read what this person wrote.  They are spot on. Jesus is the only way.  You just have to grab a hold of Him and let Him carry you.  

[HAZARD]

On ‎2‎/‎09‎/‎2016 at 10:47 PM, spark said:

No I'm not on meds. I'm tired of wanting answers and seeking only to come up empty. I know that this is my fault for hateing Christians for so long But now I feel even more justified. 

It seems to me you have been given advice from the wrong people who claim to be Christian but are not.

2 Corinthians 11:14, "And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light."

Try and find some true Christians who try and live by the Word of God and get advise from them, there are many on here for starters:

here are comforting words from Jesus Christ Himself;

Revelation 2:9, "I know thy works, and tribulation, and poverty, (but thou art rich) and I know the blasphemy of them which say they are Jews, and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan."
Revelation 3:9, "Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan, which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before thy feet, and to know that I have loved thee."

This is the true promise, don't throw it away because of false hopes brought on by false teachings.

[preciouspearl]

hello spark. i have been through similar things you have. i have gotten frustrated loads of time. it is okay to search it is okay not to be strong as other christians are its okay to be flawed and take your pace and time

okay?

[TheMatrixHasU71]

On ‎9‎/‎1‎/‎2016 at 10:54 PM, spark said:

I think I messed up by becoming a Christian how do i undo this. I've realised I'm to broken to be fixed. I'm not what god needs. I don't fit in with Christians in life or electronically. I want out no matter the cost. I would be better off dead than to live constantly wanting something that is unobtainable. I already live in that hell. For the most part his people are all the same. I can remember now why not to trust them and why I hated them. I feel like a fool. How do I get away from god?

You say you are not what God needs.....

God doesn't "need" you, you need God. Remember we all come to Him broken imperfect sinners who cant save ourselves by good works. And we all sometimes "mess up" in being a Christian but that doesn't mean God doesn't love us or want us.

If you are saying you want out, then let me ask you what were your reasons for coming to Him? Is it possible you never really believed in Him? Don't want to sound mean here, its just a thought.

[TheMatrixHasU71]

On ‎9‎/‎2‎/‎2016 at 0:22 AM, spark said:

I hate this emptiness in my chest i want out. I can fix myself 

NO ONE can fix ourselves, Spark. If you think you can in the end you are just plunging yourself deeper into the abyss you are slowly making for yourself.