How do I remove the desire for a significant other?

[Sailingsoul]

2 minutes ago, Churchmouse said:

Therein lies your problem. number one is totally opposite of number two.

Your thoughts are negative because you always return to your past  quote/unquote failures and you don't realize that those where not failures. They were learning experience on what won't work for you.

You are waiting for this magic word called success to suddenly appear out of nowhere before you will fell quote/unquote better about yourself.  That isn't the way things happen. You have opportunities all around you that pop in and out of your life. They don't wait for you to feel better about yourself, especially when you are already a success. You just took the wrong lesson when winning evaded you.

 

you don't try to change your attitude. You get pissed off enough at where you are in your head and just move out of it or you stay where you are and lick your imaginary wounds.

 

I'm telling you this, because I have been where you are and have contemplated ending my life on several occasions. I've worked out the details and have gathered everything I needed to do the job, but I always failed to do the ultimate failure and kill myself, because life is a success.  How many people do you know that were younger than you and were taken from the world before they should have? You are still here and that makes you a success. You just haven't recognized it because you are concentrating on what you haven't done instead of what you have.

I'm not waiting for success to fall out of nowhere.. I've tried and failed again and again...it's hard to keep moral up when you just keep losing...yet I try again.

[Churchmouse]

15 minutes ago, Sailingsoul said:

I answered your question. ...but how is it giving up if I ask for the desire be removed? I cant know for certain ill be married, so its best I'm not distracted by these feelings... So it wont drive me crazy...if I'm not gonna be married, theres no purpose for these feelings and desires.

You can't remove a question without an answer and that answer is not ours to know because it is of the future and we are not privy to that.

[Sailingsoul]

1 minute ago, Churchmouse said:

You can't remove a question without an answer and that answer is not ours to know because it is of the future and we are not privy to that.

 

6 minutes ago, Churchmouse said:

Therein lies your problem. number one is totally opposite of number two.

Your thoughts are negative because you always return to your past  quote/unquote failures and you don't realize that those where not failures. They were learning experience on what won't work for you.

You are waiting for this magic word called success to suddenly appear out of nowhere before you will fell quote/unquote better about yourself.  That isn't the way things happen. You have opportunities all around you that pop in and out of your life. They don't wait for you to feel better about yourself, especially when you are already a success. You just took the wrong lesson when winning evaded you.

 

you don't try to change your attitude. You get pissed off enough at where you are in your head and just move out of it or you stay where you are and lick your imaginary wounds.

 

I'm telling you this, because I have been where you are and have contemplated ending my life on several occasions. I've worked out the details and have gathered everything I needed to do the job, but I always failed to do the ultimate failure and kill myself, because life is a success.  How many people do you know that were younger than you and were taken from the world before they should have? You are still here and that makes you a success. You just haven't recognized it because you are concentrating on what you haven't done instead of what you have.

also I don't think I'm a success just because I'm still alive while some child in Syria perished...it just means my living circumstances and conditions were better. Being a success is doing something positive with your life..which is what I'm trying to do.

[Churchmouse]

1 minute ago, Sailingsoul said:

I'm not waiting for success to fall out of nowhere.. I've tried and failed again and again...it's hard to keep moral up when you just keep losing...yet I try again.

What I am telling you that your failure was not because you didn't gain what you wanted. It is a failure because all that you have taken from it is the assumption that you didn't gain anything at all from it.  What you gained is the experience of what isn't working and the knowledge that something or some new direction is need to be tried.

[Churchmouse]

3 minutes ago, Sailingsoul said:

 

also I don't think I'm a success just because I'm still alive while some child in Syria perished...it just means my living circumstances and conditions were better. Being a success is doing something positive with your life..which is what I'm trying to do.

Now you are really dodging my point. Do you want help or has your misery become so familiar that you prefer that? honest question. I love you, but I do have to feed my family and I am spending time with you because you are important to me.

[Sailingsoul]

4 minutes ago, Churchmouse said:

What I am telling you that your failure was not because you didn't gain what you wanted. It is a failure because all that you have taken from it is the assumption that you didn't gain anything at all from it.  What you gained is the experience of what isn't working and the knowledge that something or some new direction is need to be tried.

its hard when you can't change what isnt working. I'm 25.. Got kicked out of school ( my grades were ok) .... School was working and is my only way to a better life ..on this plane anyway.. But I couldn't attend because I had to pay out 900$ to continue my fall session.. I didnt have the money. The only jobs I get are fast food jobs ( I've applies to different kinds.. In the hospital, as a dishwasher ..ect..but id never get them.. My mom even works in the hospital..and she couldn't get me on. Even a job at dollar tree a manager said she'd get me on and disnt call me back)

 

so these things aren't a quick fix. I have to keep going to school and keep working. No way around that.

[Sailingsoul]

4 minutes ago, Churchmouse said:

Now you are really dodging my point. Do you want help or has your misery become so familiar that you prefer that? honest question. I love you, but I do have to feed my family and I am spending time with you because you are important to me.

no you dont love me, im honestly pouring out my heart and youre giving " snap out of it" answers. If your were going to do that a simple.. Idk or tl;dr would have sufficed. You are not obligated or force to reply do what you want.

Edited November 1, 2016 by Sailingsoul

[Churchmouse]

I will have to leave you now, so I can get some sleep. I'm a truck driver and I need to be 450 some odd miles to go before I can deliver. This is the load that will take me home after being out for 21 days. I will get back to you . You have a blessed day and God bless you. Kevin.

[Sailingsoul]

5 minutes ago, Churchmouse said:

Now you are really dodging my point. Do you want help or has your misery become so familiar that you prefer that? honest question. I love you, but I do have to feed my family and I am spending time with you because you are important to me.

Ans I didnt dodge your question I gave you an honest answer. If being alive means success what do we tell dying children in third world countries? I'm being honest.

[Churchmouse]

1 hour ago, Sailingsoul said:

no you dont love me, im honestly pouring out my heart and youre giving " snap out of it" answers. If your were going to do that a simple.. Idk or tl;dr would have sufficed. You are not obligated or force to reply do what you want.

Your entire post here was about the desire to rid yourself of the desire for love. Please don't lecture me on this. If a person loves someone they give them quality time and I've given you about 20 posts of quality time that you have retained your attitude throughout all of that. My word is my bond. If you don't believe in what I say then I'm not doing you any good because to you I am living to you. . i do have to go and this will be my last post for tonight. If you wish me to continue here you will have to reach out to me as respectfully as I have done you. If not, then this has come to an end. As I said God bless you and you can take that in any manner you wish. You certainly have a knack for listening only to yourself. If you continue to do tht then you need to, as I've already said, be a better friend to yourself.