A serious struggle

[StJoek]

Thanks for sharing Abby,  my wife agrees too.  Most people, even Christians, when faced with a reality too horrible to understand reject it and the messenger as well.  We all build a world in our minds that is suppose to protect us from the evils we see all around, even by taking them out of sight completely.  However the more we trust in God the more we can look at reality and understand that evil doesn't have the upper hand.  I can only imagine the horrors you've faced but I know they are small in comparison to the protective power of God's Love.  Unfortunately most church's are still very young in their faith, maybe from living such sheltered lives here in the US and other western countries.  But the reality is evil is rampant all around us and will only get worse and worse until our Savior returns.  I think if we stay open and make loving a priority we can mature together and create the church's needed in these fallen end times.  That is my hope anyway, based on the assumption that there is a whole lot more of us deeply hurt people out there that just hasn't opened up yet.  God bless you Abby, I'll keep praying for you too.  Thank you also for your prayers Marilyn, and everyone else that continues to pray for us, your truly a blessing.

[StJoek]

It's not an easy day, well it never is but today is especially hard, as are most weekends, not sure why it's always harder on the weekend, probably because it's our chance to spend more time together and perhaps enjoy life and the enemy doesn't want that so it gets more intense.  I don't know and right now I don't really care, I know I'm not suppose to complain and just want out of the trial but endure it with grace and thanksgiving but it just goes on and on and on.  I don't know what I'm suppose to do when somebody so close is in so much turmoil and it effects almost every decision we make together, which is pretty much everything I do.  I keep praying and trying to wait patiently for God to get through and do whatever needs to be done but it's just the same every weekend, every day, sometimes it's not as tough as others but it always come back with a vengeance and things can turn ugly at any time.  I'm just tired, I'd like somebody to just talk to about all this but I've never found a brother in Christ that will listen and try to just have compassion.  Why wouldn't God at least send one person I can talk to.  I know I know I have Holy Spirit here but when I'm discouraged and doubting like this I don't feel His presence anyway so it doesn't help much.  I'll stop, this isn't a good rant, I'm sorry.

Edited September 16, 2017 by StJoek

[Wayne222]

11 hours ago, StJoek said:

It's not an easy day, well it never is but today is especially hard, as are most weekends, not sure why it's always harder on the weekend, probably because it's our chance to spend more time together and perhaps enjoy life and the enemy doesn't want that so it gets more intense.  I don't know and right now I don't really care, I know I'm not suppose to complain and just want out of the trial but endure it with grace and thanksgiving but it just goes on and on and on.  I don't know what I'm suppose to do when somebody so close is in so much turmoil and it effects almost every decision we make together, which is pretty much everything I do.  I keep praying and trying to wait patiently for God to get through and do whatever needs to be done but it's just the same every weekend, every day, sometimes it's not as tough as others but it always come back with a vengeance and things can turn ugly at any time.  I'm just tired, I'd like somebody to just talk to about all this but I've never found a brother in Christ that will listen and try to just have compassion.  Why wouldn't God at least send one person I can talk to.  I know I know I have Holy Spirit here but when I'm discouraged and doubting like this I don't feel His presence anyway so it doesn't help much.  I'll stop, this isn't a good rant, I'm sorry.

Hi StjoeK you sound tired and kind of loss. I know Satan loves to get us discouraged. Prayer and fasting will help draw you nearer to God. And that will give you strength. But does not mean the problems go away. The Lord will always help us to bear our burdens. Sometimes just pray help us through this. And he does. Sad to say this is a fallen world . Since Adam disobeyed God we have been on this state. Even Jesus during his flesh was tired and thirsty. The only hope We have is God's promises of the new heaven and earth. It's coming for sure but till then we suffer. Let us commit our suffering to God.  He is faithful to help us to bear them and even give us joy.  Praying for you and your wife.  God's blessings on you. 

 

 

 

[AnOrangeCat]

You have my sympathies and my prayers. My grandmother had dementia, and I was more or less consistently her only caregiver for a long time. She had a lot of issues with paranoia, hostility, and both physical and mental issues keeping her socially isolated. It led to a lot of really trying times and situations. During both the duration of my caregiving and in the events that followed I felt pretty alienated and let down by the church. But looking back on it I can say that God was with me during that time. It wasn't always immediately obvious (sometimes it was), but I truly believe it. A lot of things that others might call coincidence happened, I got enough in the way of random kindnesses from strangers and one good neighbor, often unasked for, and I did eventually find a pastor who I considered to be a genuinely caring person. Our paths only crossed for a short time, but it was what I needed and it was enough. The cash I'd been saving throughout my caregiving stage ended up being just enough to see me through after my grandmother's death until I was unexpectedly blessed with a steady income. Had it not been for God keeping a hand on me I probably would have ended up utterly breaking down and/or being homeless.

Here's a couple of things you might want to keep in mind.

Caregiving for someone with the sort of symptoms your wife has is innately a very draining, socially isolating experience. It doesn't allow much time for making friends. It doesn't let you be at your best when you try to make friends. It's very likely to suck some of the enjoyment out of anything you might otherwise enjoy. So you really do have to make it a point to put yourself out, which you've done here in asking for help. But also, don't be afraid to try and speak with pastors of various churches in your area, or counselors if any of the churches offer that sort of thing. Offering guidance is part of what they're there for.

When you're in an extreme situation and don't get a lot of room to breathe, it's very easy to interpret things, especially when it comes to other people, as more negative than they really are.

Any long term, trying situation is a good time for self-examination.

I don't want to sound discouraging or be a faith killer here, but your wife's condition may never improve in the course of her earthly lifespan. But you can still make a difference in her life and your own, and it sounds like you already have. Stick with it. It's difficult, but earthly life is just a blink compared to eternity in the company of God.

That's all. Hoping and praying you both get what you need.

[Guest Teditis]

On ‎9‎/‎16‎/‎2017 at 3:22 PM, StJoek said:

It's not an easy day, well it never is but today is especially hard, as are most weekends, not sure why it's always harder on the weekend, probably because it's our chance to spend more time together and perhaps enjoy life and the enemy doesn't want that so it gets more intense.  I don't know and right now I don't really care, I know I'm not suppose to complain and just want out of the trial but endure it with grace and thanksgiving but it just goes on and on and on.  I don't know what I'm suppose to do when somebody so close is in so much turmoil and it effects almost every decision we make together, which is pretty much everything I do.  I keep praying and trying to wait patiently for God to get through and do whatever needs to be done but it's just the same every weekend, every day, sometimes it's not as tough as others but it always come back with a vengeance and things can turn ugly at any time.  I'm just tired, I'd like somebody to just talk to about all this but I've never found a brother in Christ that will listen and try to just have compassion.  Why wouldn't God at least send one person I can talk to.  I know I know I have Holy Spirit here but when I'm discouraged and doubting like this I don't feel His presence anyway so it doesn't help much.  I'll stop, this isn't a good rant, I'm sorry.

Hi Joe, I've read your story and have great sympathy for what all you're dealing with.

Like your wife, I have some MH issues too, though not near as severe... still I've had to deal with them

as lead by God and I seem to be getting by relatively alright. I also have problems making relationships

and friendships work out well for me... though I try.

Anyway, I wanted to offer you the ability to email me here on this site as an offer of friendship and maybe

a little bit of chatting would alleviate some the isolation that you're dealing with. I do have different thoughts

than you do about the care for mental health issues but also understand that you're not really looking for answers

regarding that... still I think that I can offer some small insights. So feel free to Email me anytime you want and

we can chat about whatever is weighing you down... In Christ, Ted.

[Justin Adams]

Yes my friend. There are more people on your side that the other. You and Jesus (Yeshua) are a MAJORITY in every situation.

I can really understand some of the turmoil and constant unrelenting strife that you and your wife are experiencing. Sometimes things seem so overwhelming that in my past, I have been so very, very close to the edge. So close, just a feather would have been enough to topple me over. But the Lord in His great mercy did not allow me to go.

It has been so heartbreaking I cannot even talk of it. But suffice to say, YOU ARE NOT ALONE BROTHER.

[StJoek]

On 9/20/2017 at 11:57 AM, Teditis said:

Hi Joe, I've read your story and have great sympathy for what all you're dealing with.

Like your wife, I have some MH issues too, though not near as severe... still I've had to deal with them

as lead by God and I seem to be getting by relatively alright. I also have problems making relationships

and friendships work out well for me... though I try.

Anyway, I wanted to offer you the ability to email me here on this site as an offer of friendship and maybe

a little bit of chatting would alleviate some the isolation that you're dealing with. I do have different thoughts

than you do about the care for mental health issues but also understand that you're not really looking for answers

regarding that... still I think that I can offer some small insights. So feel free to Email me anytime you want and

we can chat about whatever is weighing you down... In Christ, Ted.

Thanks Ted, I'll take you up on the offer, if for nothing else just to hear your thoughts on the situation.  My own thoughts have gone back and forth, been double minded, but the further I get in my walk with Christ the more single minded I become, I wish I could say it's a cut and dry one time and I was changed forever event but that's not been my experience, though I've met people that did get that, or claim to.  Actually I didn't say that right, it was a one time changed forever event, old things are passed away and all things have become new, but it has taken painstaking stages through my life to put away the old thinking and embrace my mind of Christ.  I am tired and I am lonely and that often comes out when I speak my mind, because I don't want to be fake, but if you catch me in the right mood  you might get a glimpse of what God is up to in there.  I've learned to trust in what God's Word says and conform my mind to what it says, despite what everybody else, including some well intended people, try to tell me.  So let's be open and honest with each other but let's make God's Word our reality and throw out anything that doesn't agree with it.