Advice on envy and pride

[love mercy]

Today I watched a video from Chip Ingram and for the first time I realized that as I compare myself to others I fall either into pride - thinking that I am better off than someone else or envy - because I seem to have less. I tend to be more envious than prideful, but I certainly do both. I am in prayer over this but I just wanted to hear what others have to say on this topic . I hope to read personal experiences and tips on what you may have learned along the way as you surrendered your pride or envy to God. I tend to feel more comfortable with people that are financially struggling and I never feel comfortable around affluent people. I know God is working in my heart to let love be at the forefront of my heart and I know that this Bible study is answered prayer. I use to attend a church that had affluent people that I never truly felt that I could relate to and now I am at a church with young hipsters and as I am learning to put my identity in who Christ says I am - I am still struggling with pride and envy. I just want to admit this problem and get support to really learn to trust in the Lord to get me through this stronghold. 

(not that it is terribly relevant, I didn't switch churches because of the way I felt, but because I believe God was calling me to my current church as I needed a place to worship that was within walking distance to my home)

Thanks in advance for any encouragement or suggestions.

[missmuffet]

28 minutes ago, love mercy said:

Today I watched a video from Chip Ingram and for the first time I realized that as I compare myself to others I fall either into pride - thinking that I am better off than someone else or envy - because I seem to have less. I tend to be more envious than prideful, but I certainly do both. I am in prayer over this but I just wanted to hear what others have to say on this topic . I hope to read personal experiences and tips on what you may have learned along the way as you surrendered your pride or envy to God. I tend to feel more comfortable with people that are financially struggling and I never feel comfortable around affluent people. I know God is working in my heart to let love be at the forefront of my heart and I know that this Bible study is answered prayer. I use to attend a church that had affluent people that I never truly felt that I could relate to and now I am at a church with young hipsters and as I am learning to put my identity in who Christ says I am - I am still struggling with pride and envy. I just want to admit this problem and get support to really learn to trust in the Lord to get me through this stronghold. 

(not that it is terribly relevant, I didn't switch churches because of the way I felt, but because I believe God was calling me to my current church as I needed a place to worship that was within walking distance to my home)

Thanks in advance for any encouragement or suggestions.

You need to pray about those negative emotions. At least you are aware that you are dealing with them. Many do not know they are and pride is a big one. I see a lot of that in many people and that includes Christians.

[Guest bonnieschamberger]

That kind of honesty is beautiful....I would say I remember that while I was married and comfortable I had this thing with trying to view "things" as important because my husband was very into material things and at that time we had this one set of married friends who were very careless with those things...stuff was broken or scratched or whatever...I was trying so hard to be what he wanted and  I remember being harsh..trying to show him I cared about those things too because he did...but he always ended up being even more harsh than I was .Anyway this was towards the end and he began having an affair with a rich lady anyway ...so later when I left him those times would come back to my mind and just made me sick to my stomach because thats never who I was but yet look what I did just to try to keep him.I took the long way around lol but thats what I had on pride... nowadays I barely own anything and I love it...I have less than a carfull...it might equal 3 maybe 3 and a half duffel bags.

[No124get1952]

Thank you for your very transparent and touching post. I think it is a part of our American society to look at others and compare ourselves up or down on how they are doing. I think this tends to be a "normal" human hobby. However, God called us out to be peculiar people, which basically means we are not supposed to be like other people.

It boils down to this: how is my own personal relationship with Jesus Christ? If I am seeking first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matt.6:32), THEN God will add to me all "these other things"....such as health, prosperity, happiness, etc. The point is that Jesus and my relationship with Him needs to be my primary priority. If I compare myself to others now and then, I must return to what Jesus is doing in me and with me. Our purpose in serving Jesus is to become as much like Him as we can. Because if we truly become like Him, then we will do and say the same things that He did and said (John 14:12). And THAT is huge!!!!

My own personal experience is that, as I have grown closer to Jesus, my needs have changed. I have found a satisfaction in how much He loves me and I have learned to be satisfied with the physical provisions that He provides (money, marriage, possessions, etc.) I have become very grateful for what God has provided me, because it is enough to meet my needs and a little more to give away. Now I no longer strive to climb the corporate ladder because that is NOT God's plan for my life (it may be yours). I now live as close to a stress-free life as possible because I have developed my relationship with God to trust Him to provide.

As James says, our personal trials are used by God to develop higher functions of faith in us. The trial that you are currently going through, pride vs. envy, is God working in your spirit. As you come to realize how much God loves you, you will be able to say with Paul, "that I have learned how to abound and how to be abased". Knowing how to prosper and how to eke things out are two skills that every Christian needs, because it is not the prosperity or lack that is important: we count ALL things joy.

As a Hurricane Katrina survivor, who literally lost everything (including a car) in that storm, I had the opportunity to operate in pride, envy, bitterness and skepticism. But instead, I chose to be thankful for God for preserving me and thankful to God for every believer who prayed for me and sacrificed to provide me with food, clothing and lodging when I had nothing. Because I took refuge in God and relied upon Him to give me joy in the face of overwhelming devastation, I can now rejoice and be radical when God provides me more than enough.

My problem now is that I have to watch out for pride because I am proud of how much and how often my God provides me with. I am not better than anyone, but I am seriously convinced that God loves me so much that I am His favorite. Know what? You are His favorite too and probably don't know it yet. But He IS a BIIIIIIIIIG God and He has enough love to love us all as His favorites....and I am kinda cool with that. :)))

[1to3]

Hi Love Mercy, this is a huge topic that you bring up, but a necessary one, as we all need to examine our envy & pride.

These attributes or shortcomings, are well alive in every person alive, including everyone here on Worthy , and needs to be examined and modified toward a Christ like attitude toward them.

You can be rich or poor, the envy and pride thing will always be there until we modify ourselves through the Holy Spirit of God working in our hearts.

We are not to be of this world but transformed by the renewing of our mind through  the Grace of God.

Romans ch12:2
1Therefore I urge you, brothers, on account of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. 3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but think of yourself with sober judgment, according to the measure of faith God has given you.…

 

 

Everyday is a new day and every day, we are to come to God and seek His will over our will. Everyday, everyday, everyday until we go back to Him in heaven.

As we need to eat every day for sustenance, God also is our daily living bread to be able to live in HIM and with Him and through Him for our spiritual sustenance.

 

Matthew 6:5-15King James Version (KJV)

⁵ And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

⁶ But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

⁷ But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

⁸ Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

⁹ After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

¹⁰ Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

¹¹ Give us this day our daily bread.

¹² And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

¹³ And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

¹⁴ For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

¹⁵ But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

 

 

 

Comparing ourselves to others is not what God wants for us. Its actually a very negative and energy taking activity.

I try to stay away from people (be they rich or poor), places or things that encourage that kind of activity.

The bible does tell us as Christians we are to mind our business and live peaceful and quiet lives.

1 Thessalonians 4:11

10And indeed, you are showing this love to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to excel more and more 11and to aspire to live quietly, to attend to your own matters, and to work with your own hands, as we instructed you. 12Then you will behave properly toward outsiders, without being dependent on anyone.

 

 

Edited March 7, 2017 by 1to3

[Marilyn C]

On ‎7‎/‎03‎/‎2017 at 9:45 AM, love mercy said:

Today I watched a video from Chip Ingram and for the first time I realized that as I compare myself to others I fall either into pride - thinking that I am better off than someone else or envy - because I seem to have less. I tend to be more envious than prideful, but I certainly do both.

Hi lovemercy,

Yes someone is always better off or not according to the world`s view. So glad you are listening to the Holy Spirit to address this. Feelings are something we need to address. When that comes we need to `cast down that thought` & replace it with thankfulness. (2 Cor. 10: 5) Out thought life is something we need to work on by the power of the Holy Spirit. It is a daily activity.

it seems to me that you need a stronger focus on the Lord what He is doing in people`s lives. Yes it is important to know who we are in Christ but more important is to grow to know Him more, to know more of His ways & how to work with the Holy Spirit in people`s lives. That will so fill your vision that all else pales into insignificance.

I can tell you from experience once I started to work with the Holy Spirit, encouraging, discipling others it was & is the greatest joy, for nothing else can we have for eternity.

`For what is our hope, or joy, or crown of rejoicing? Is it not even you (Thessalonians) in the presence of our Lord  at His coming? For you are our glory & joy.` (1 Thess. 2: 19 & 20)

May you find that true joy in serving/discipling others.

Marilyn.

[love mercy]

Thanks to everyone that responded. I'm not a new Christian but God in his grace showed me the condition of my heart. God is love and as I learn to forgive and ask people to forgive me for my arrogance and self righteous attitude, the lighter I am feeling. I know it is a matter of daily surrender to the maker of Heaven and Earth for in his wisdom he made me for such a time as this. I don't need to look to the left nor the right, but trust the path that I am on because God will finish the good work he began in me. I guess I was hoping to hear how others have dealt with this issue of sin specifically regarding envy, but I know that only God can help me....so thanks for your feedback.

I am content with what I have but I want to do more in my life...I live in a house, have food, clothing and a nice part-time job - but every so often I will meet someone who is a doctor, a lawyer, a pastor, a mom, a missionary - all that I am impressed with and then I get a little envious. I don't brood about it in fact the feeling is so subtle that it has taken me some time to even recognize the condition of my heart. If I am with someone who is struggling I don't necessarily become prideful, but I just feel more comfortable with them - maybe because I can relate to them. 

I just wanted to add that sharing the gospel and making disciples doesn't change the condition of my heart - I love encouraging others to seek God and to walk humbling with the Lord, but that type of doing is not loving people. I have had the blessing to mentor some young people and have been in relationship with them for four years (immediately being called to disciple others upon following the Lord) but I still need to let the love of Jesus take primary real estate in my heart....and I say this because I was hoping others would share practical tips on how to replace prideful actions with loving actions once I asked God for forgiveness. I know the Holy Spirit is in me and I don't want to grieve him so I want to be be attuned to positioning my heart to love the way Jesus loves.

For example, Pastor Ingram shared that he had noticed that envy was creeping up on him when another writer was getting a lot of positive attention. It was out of the ordinary for him to feel that way, but he repented and took action to rectify the situation by praying for the individual and then sending the author some encouragement.

(what I've learned and I am still learning) I know that I am not alone in feeling these types of emotions because it comes from a desire to get love and I don't want to look for love in the wrong places - adulation and praise are not for me, but for the great I am who provides my every need. I crave adulation and praise maybe because I don't spend enough time Thanking God for everything...so, I thank you for you advice which was wise and caring. I praise God for the words and thoughts that you sent my way.

May you each be blessed as I send my sincere gratitude to each of you.