A problem I have returning to fellowship

[BlackZeppelin]

I have been out of fellowship for 16 years.  Long story, but inbetween a nutshell, I had horrible experiences with my last 2 churches.  I pray for forgiveness but am still angry and bitter all these years later. 

I have be regularly going back to fellowship but have a major problem:  I can't help it, but I have nothing but contempt for pastors and church leaders.  I know that sounds terrible but this is what it is. I'm just being honest. 

What is wrong with me?  I go to a church and come out afterwards just despising pastors.  I see them as leeches and users and abusers.  I have prayed so much for the past to be healed but am so bitter 16 years later.  I say to myself over and over again that no pastor will ever have a say in my life again.  

I feel I'm a lost cause and damaged goods.  

[wingnut-]

To answer your question would require more information.  What exactly do you have against pastors?

[Eha]

On Monday, April 24, 2017 at 5:13 PM, BlackZeppelin said:

I have been out of fellowship for 16 years.  Long story, but inbetween a nutshell, I had horrible experiences with my last 2 churches.  I pray for forgiveness but am still angry and bitter all these years later. 

I have be regularly going back to fellowship but have a major problem:  I can't help it, but I have nothing but contempt for pastors and church leaders.  I know that sounds terrible but this is what it is. I'm just being honest. 

What is wrong with me?  I go to a church and come out afterwards just despising pastors.  I see them as leeches and users and abusers.  I have prayed so much for the past to be healed but am so bitter 16 years later.  I say to myself over and over again that no pastor will ever have a say in my life again.  

I feel I'm a lost cause and damaged goods.  

you are not alone here. I just did give it into God's hands. my search did not give any results.

about bitter in the heart - i did ask God to help me out and forgot what made me bitter. He did. after i did forgive them, i did forgot those moments and even people. i did ask it, because God also say in the Bible - "I wont remember yours sin anymore" - so, if Jesus did take Father the God as example to  learn, why shouldn't we ?

Edited April 26, 2017 by Eha
adding note

[Willa]

1Jn 4:19  NKJV We love Him because He first loved us.

1Jn 4:20  If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?  1Jn 4:21  And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.

I had always pointed this passage at other people, but one day God point it at me.  I knew I was lost because no way could I love such people.  Someone told me to thank God for them and ask God to love them through me.  I don't have that kind of love in myself, but when I surrendered my life to God, Christ came to live in me by His Spirit.  Christ said on the cross, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do."  Christ in me loves the unlovable and forgives the unforgivable.  So I did what the lady said and prayed thanking God for the people and asked God to love them through me.  There was no immediate overwhelming experience.  It was a struggle.  I continually fought hateful thoughts and prayed that prayer.  

Eventually God showed me my self righteousness that was the sin behind my unforgiving attitude.  He humbled me, allowing me to fall time after time and showing me the ugliness of my self righteousness.  It is only by God's grace that any of us are accepted into His family and will go to heaven.  It was then that I finally had compassion on the people I had hated because I saw their need. 

Pastors are no different than others who come to God for forgiveness.  Some went to seminary to find God!  I have had pastors who weren't saved, who graduated top of their classes.  So since then I have looked for pastors who were excellent Bible teachers, and where the Holy Spirit worked in my life to conform me to the nature of Christ.

 God chastens those He loves.  If the pastors you are bitter toward are His kids, God will scourge them.  They need our compassion and prayers either way.  None is righteous; no not one.  Our faith In Christ makes us righteous in God's eyes.

Welcome back!

[JohnD]

Well...

You probably need to go into ministry.

You see, Christianity has been hijacked by the Roman Empire (which morphed into Roman Catholicism).

This is not your typical Roman Catholic bashing session... so hear me out.

Better put... the Church Organism has been subjugated to the Church Organization.

I cannot find the exact quote, but I once heard the late Dr. J. Vernon McGee say that the devil realized he could not lick the Church, so through Emperor Constantine the devil joined the Church.

Compromise, disarray, false doctrines, and even the structure of clergy / laity confounds the mission of the Body Christian as much as possible.

Now your local Pastor is not the devil incarnate or to blame. Nearly all of them are doing it for the right reasons... but what they are unwittingly doing is perpetuating the hijacking of the Church.

God bless them! They have stepped up to give their lives to what they thought... what they believed with a whole heart... is the LORD's will... when 99.99% of the rest of us could not be bothered even when we learn what the truth on the subject actually is.

In the New Testament / New Covenant we are ALL priests of God.

No division between clergy and laity. That's Old Testament / Old Covenant.

Actually, God intended all in the covenant to be priests even then...

Exodus 19:6 (AV)
6 And ye shall be unto me a kingdom of priests, and an holy nation. These are the words which thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel.

But Exodus 32 took place (when the Israelites not only made the calf idol and worshiped it, not only engaged in orgies, but were about to return to Egypt and to blend in with the pagans there undoing everything God had done since the calling out of Abram. That is why his response was so bloody. And the tribe that came to Moses' aid (his own the Levites) became the priestly tribe henceforth and the rest of Israel were (if you will) laity.

But in the New Covenant:

1 Peter 2:3–9 (AV)
3 If so be ye have tasted that the Lord is gracious.
4 To whom coming, as unto a living stone, disallowed indeed of men, but chosen of God, and precious,
5 Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ.
6 Wherefore also it is contained in the scripture, Behold, I lay in Sion a chief corner stone, elect, precious: and he that believeth on him shall not be confounded.
7 Unto you therefore which believe he is precious: but unto them which be disobedient, the stone which the builders disallowed, the same is made the head of the corner,
8 And a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence, even to them which stumble at the word, being disobedient: whereunto also they were appointed.
9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:

Hearkening back to Exodus 19:6 (a kingdom of priests):

Revelation 1:6 (AV)
6 And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

Revelation 5:10 (AV)
10 And hast made us unto our God kings and priests: and we shall reign on the earth.

So, don't hate / resent / despise your local preacher... pity them... try to convince them of the truth about what the Bible says.

Most people will not listen to someone who has not been thoroughly indoctrinated / programmed at a denominational seminary.

They just won't.

"Yeah... that's what the Bible says... but because it's coming from you... and not Southwestern Seminary educated... it's not true... or, it will not be received as truth... or regarded..."

Been there too many times.

What it boils down to is placing the authority in the institutions of man rather than the word of God.

I presume you have little to no biblical training. At least not enough to be comfortably in ministry starting tomorrow...

Get trained / educated by the Holy Spirit.

I am not saying you cannot get any good teaching from anyone else... but be sure to filter all things through the word of God.

2Peter 1:20-21

1Thessalonians 5:21

1John 4:1

Acts 17:11

2Timothy 3:16-17

Deuteronomy 29:29

Proverbs 25:2

Deuteronomy 4:2

Deuteronomy 12:32

Proverbs 30:5-6

Revelation 22:18-19

John 3:16-18 / Ephesians 2:8-10 / Galatians 3:24-28 / Romans 7:14-8:39 / 1John 1:5-2:17

[Limey_Bob]

On 4/24/2017 at 3:13 PM, BlackZeppelin said:

I have been out of fellowship for 16 years.  Long story, but inbetween a nutshell, I had horrible experiences with my last 2 churches.  I pray for forgiveness but am still angry and bitter all these years later. 

I have be regularly going back to fellowship but have a major problem:  I can't help it, but I have nothing but contempt for pastors and church leaders.  I know that sounds terrible but this is what it is. I'm just being honest. 

What is wrong with me?  I go to a church and come out afterwards just despising pastors.  I see them as leeches and users and abusers.  I have prayed so much for the past to be healed but am so bitter 16 years later.  I say to myself over and over again that no pastor will ever have a say in my life again.  

I feel I'm a lost cause and damaged goods.  

I don't attend church myself, it was the doctrine of the Trinity which finally caused me to leave.  In 2012 I was told on an Alpha course that Jesus was God the Father and that he made his atonement in hell and not on the cross! Despite many attempts and then letters seeking to discuss this, I was ostracized as evil! The only people who understand the Trinity where I live in the UK, bar a few exceptions are the Roman Catholics and the liberal Anglicans and Methodists, very few evangelicals are genuine, knowledgeable and committed Trinitarians. The same goes for many other doctrines such as the new covenant, if you think that Jesus is God the Father, or that God is three separate beings or separate persons with three thrones in heaven or that Jesus only has one single spirit (not two) then basically your Christianity is termed: "just make it all up as you go along." I was molested as a kid in a Roman Catholic boarding school, attached to an Abbey where I was an altar boy. So it really does say something when I consider Roman Catholics to be more doctrinally correct on the Trinity than the Evangelicals  (on soteriology the Evangelicals are generally marginally less heretical than Catholics). I truly believe that the vast majority of religious leaders, from whichever denomination (but not everybody) will be told by Christ:  "I never knew you, depart from me you who work iniquity." I love the Lord and believe a solidly Trinitarian message, but many pastors where I live don't and few even care ... so go figure, your not going is a blessing, as you won't be abuse by them any more.

 

 

 

Edited April 29, 2017 by Limey_Bob