Never Thought I'd Have an Affair

[Gerioke]

But if it burdens him what good does it do to conceal it.

Jesus was an advocater of truth. That makes truth the winner.

If they truly love one another, she will get over it. Any thing other than that would be superficial

[wordsower]

Now see, something like that I could forgive. He didn't cheat on her, he just lied about something that was under the blood and forgiven and frankly, none of her dad's business.

I do think that he should have been honest with her before the wedding and I do think he should have told her. Do you know the outcome?

Anyways, where we were going with this thread, it looked like I was saying a person should just divorce for infidelity, period. I didn't mean it like that.

I know a person can make a terrible mistake, admit it and ask for forgiveness and then if they want to work it out, fine.

But this post-topic-starter has been living a lie for 8 months!!!!!!!! Hello!! THat isn't a ooops, that is a determined, conscious effort to screw around on your husband and live with it for almost a year. That's just disgusting and the poor husband deserves better than that.

She should spill the beans and have the car waiting in the driveway as she runs out the door.

That's my 2 cents, more like my hundred dollar bill worth

[Orr v'emet]

But this post-topic-starter has been living a lie for 8 months!!!!!!!! Hello!! THat isn't a ooops, that is a determined, conscious effort to screw around on your husband and live with it for almost a year. That's just disgusting and the poor husband deserves better than that.

She should spill the beans and have the car waiting in the driveway as she runs out the door.

What? I mean honestly. Aren't 99.9% of affairs a determined, conscious effort to betray a marriage? Divorce isn't something you should advocate at any point with the exception of an abusive relationship. No she shouldn't "spill the beans" and have a car waiting as she runs out. As someone who is in a leadership position on the boards, I would think you would dole out advice that is in agreement with God's standards as presented in the bible.

[Gerioke]

But this post-topic-starter has been living a lie for 8 months!!!!!!!! Hello!! THat isn't a ooops, that is a determined, conscious effort to screw around on your husband and live with it for almost a year. That's just disgusting and the poor husband deserves better than that.

She should spill the beans and have the car waiting in the driveway as she runs out the door.

What? I mean honestly. Aren't 99.9% of affairs a determined, conscious effort to betray a marriage? Divorce isn't something you should advocate at any point with the exception of an abusive relationship. No she shouldn't "spill the beans" and have a car waiting as she runs out. As someone who is in a leadership position on the boards, I would think you would dole out advice that is in agreement with God's standards as presented in the bible.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Amen to that. Let's show a little compassion here

[wordsower]

exception of abusive relationship Orr?

Where do you find THAT in the bible?

Mine says anyone who divorces his wife except for adultery and marries another commits adultery. Matthew 19:9

So, in my leadership position, I stand on the Word.

[Gerioke]

Jesus also said that if someone since and asks for forgiveness we should forgive them 77 times

[Gerioke]

exception of abusive relationship Orr?

Where do you find THAT in the bible?

Mine says anyone who divorces his wife except for adultery and marries another commits adultery.  Matthew 19:9

So, in my leadership position, I stand on the Word.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Judge not lest ye be judged

let him without sin cast the first stone

[Guest D Smith]

the point of my story is this...

Im trying to SAVE the marriage...

So many other people want the wife to be honest,,and then tell her to keep the car warmed up in the driveway ...

Thats what I want to avoid!....I want the husband and wife to go on as if nothing had ever happened...If the wife has repented of her sin onto the Lord,,,then there is no point in dragging a past event into the future of their marriage forever,,,,

[wordsower]

Well, if the husband can live with his wife sleeping around on him for 8 months, let's see, that is 32 weeks, 224 days, I think.........anyways, it's 70 x 7 and forgiveness is not the issue. As christians we have to forgive, but we don't have to continue to live with someone who is selfish and has more concern for a good time than their commitment to their spouse and God.

As I was saying, if he can live with it, more power to him.

Wondering how many of you have actually been in this position?

9 years after the fact, I can tell you I don't think my husband has cheated on me anymore, but I do not love him the way I did, and I don't trust him, I probably never will. Yeah, I forgive him, because I have to, and we exist, for the most part, like anyone else, it's just never going to be the same, ever. God intended for 2 people to exclusively share such personal, private actions and when a 3rd party wrecks that it can never be completely whole again.

I think it was selfish of my husband to beg me to stay. I'd have been better off on my way. I have put myself in the other place and I know if I had an affair I couldn't just have the audacity to ask my spouse to stay with me, that takes a lack of self respect and respect for your partner, in my opinion.

Sorry if it's too close to home for me to be more objectionable than that.

[Guest Bro David™]

the point of my story is this...

Im trying to SAVE the marriage...

So many other people want the wife to be honest,,and then tell her to keep the car warmed up in the driveway ...

Thats what I want to avoid!....I want the husband and wife to go on as if nothing had ever happened...If the wife has repented of her sin onto the Lord,,,then there is no point in dragging a past event into the future of their marriage forever,,,,

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

D Smith,

Trust me lies no matter buried how deep have a way of coming up.

If she hides the event, becomes a good wife and Christian do you think that the Spirit would not convict our sister to reveal the truth ?.

Or do you think satan will not try his best work to un-cover her secret to the Husband.

Jesus has a plan in our sisters life, I may not know it she may not know it but whatever it is it will never be to conceal the truth.

Let the sister work it out on her own and with Jesus, The Lord will lift the marriage up has we lift our sister up in Prayer. In prayer she will be brought to the center of God's will, has the Spirit leads her through.

With Love

David King