Is it Ok for a Christian to avoid people, and how?

[FunnyBunny]

Ok, so there is this girl who stays at our house sometimes as she doesn't have a house. She eats our food and sleeps in one of our rooms. She came with a story that causes everyone to feel the need to take care of her because I think she lives in the past and thrives off of pity. I felt like every time I was alone with her there were not only two in the room. I felt like my spirit twisted inside of me and like I should run. I got close to her anyways because I don't trust feelings that could be biased before I get to know a person. She turned out to be extremely manipulative and somewhat violent. She harshly scolded me a couple times and I was finished w her. She blames her past on everyone and expects them to care. She makes the people who were not even a part of her past suffer and guilt trips them if she does not get what she wants or if they back away when she does something bad. She makes connections that make no sense and gets angry about hardly anything. My mom isn't comfortable either and has asked my dad to not let her stay anymore as she DOES have a lot of other connections, but I think she has manipulated my father w sweet-talk. It's so hard to leave my room when she comes which can be weeks at a time. The problem is I am a Christian and I don't feel right avoiding people--who God sees as my equal. The problem is I'm leaving to become an independent in a week and I have a family to spend time with before I go overseas but I cannot if I'm too busy hiding.

[ILiveForGod]

I read your first paragraph and immediately thought of Jezebel. This person sounds like she has the Jezebel Spirit. This Spirit manipulates through self pitty. This Spirit pretends to have things in common with you, in order to get closer to you. Would you let a stranger drive your car? No, of course not. But would you let a friend? You might. They move from stranger to BESTFRIEND by having things in common with you. They feed your emotions.

They never leave. They are leeches. You would have to kick them out. I have experienced this many times in my life with women I dated before I was saved and I dealt with one guy I let move in because I felt sorry he was homeless. We worked on a film together.

They want people to do for them, but when it comes to you needing something from them, they come up with an excuse. They manipulate people to cater to them. That's my read. Know them by their fruits. God bless

[BK1110]

You can be kind and cordial but you needn't befriend her if she's clearly taking advantage of people and using them and has no interest in spiritual matters. Have you ever tried engaging her about Christ before?

[Guest]

9 hours ago, ILiveForGod said:

I read your first paragraph and immediately thought of Jezebel. This person sounds like she has the Jezebel Spirit. This Spirit manipulates through self pitty. This Spirit pretends to have things in common with you, in order to get closer to you. Would you let a stranger drive your car? No, of course not. But would you let a friend? You might. They move from stranger to BESTFRIEND by having things in common with you. They feed your emotions.

They never leave. They are leeches. You would have to kick them out. I have experienced this many times in my life with women I dated before I was saved and I dealt with one guy I let move in because I felt sorry he was homeless. We worked on a film together.

They want people to do for them, but when it comes to you needing something from them, they come up with an excuse. They manipulate people to cater to them. That's my read. Know them by their fruits. God bless

Yes, she needs to be set free. Because of her past hurts, there are probably several spirits at work in her that would require deliverance. Pray. If you are not the one to administer deliverance to her, then pray that she finds someone who can assist her in her need.

[FunnyBunny]

   Thank you guys! This is all very helpful.

As a response to sojourner414:  Yes, I have approached my mother and I also know my father knows how she is. It seems as of yesterday she has decided to stay somewhere else as I think she embarrassed herself and realized that nobody was fooled anymore. It's strange that it happened so suddenly, huh.  I can honestly say that I prayed for her frequently and forgave her over and over again to the point where I even allowed myself to be a victim (I wouldn't suggest that to others). It was very hard--is still hard though she left. I talked to her about Christ and she told me that she had had several spiritual encounters with God and that she still didn't want to call herself a Christian yet. What she described as spiritual encounters seemed to me like the Lord was giving her guilt which I should hope will draw her to repentance and genuinely lead her to Christ. Also, my Father saw what was going on for some of the time, but he has a lot of compassion--which becomes obvious to everyone. All it takes is for her to say ,"Dad (she calls him Dad though she's 20), I miss home. Can I come home?" and he will say ,"sure!" and he puts our feelings aside just like that. I hope that I don't sound vengeful or hateful, but I made a mistake by spending so much time alone during that time she was here and less time with God. I felt so hurt and lonely. I know Holy Spirit was there though I blocked my own sight. I'm saying this for anyone to read. Don't make that mistake. As Christians we are supposed to be like lambs, gentle as can be. We are supposed to be like Lions because God is like a Lion and we were made in his likeness and he lives in us. We are powerful because of God who is with us. Emotions get in the way, and that's ok, but abide in God's presence and he will abide in you. This situation belongs to God. Everything dark is light to God. Trust him in your darkness.   

As a response to ILiveForGod: I think you are mostly right, but I think she was also not 100% right in the head. Several years ago she was in a car accident and I suspect that effected some of the area in her brain that controls emotion and logic. It's not noticeable until you spend a lot of time with her. She did, however have something spiritually off about her. I know for a fact that there was something else floating around her. I'm a spiritually sensitive person but I couldn't pinpoint it since, I don't think she was actually possessed-- just tormented maybe. I would never call a person a leech because God called me beloved in my filth. I'm not supposed to be afraid of this Jezebel spirit so why should I run. I hid only because I felt so angry every time I saw her and I know that was wrong which is why I needed advice. We can either be victims or "give it to God". God does not make his children victims, we allow ourselves to be. Don't give if your not comfortable or if it requires others to sacrifice as well.  But the bible tells us that if we have the gift of giving, we should use it unconditionally as we are blessed to have it. I admire that about my father--he loves people so much, though he wasn't considering me. When you feel uncomfortable with giving, you can stop but that doesn't mean that we should completely cut that person off from our lives. People are not equal to charity organisations that we should give and then sever them from our "holy lives". If you feel uncomfortable with them possibly taking advantage of you then leave nothing material for them to take advantage of. IDK though, maybe God called you to leave those people behind and that's ok. I've never felt called by God to leave people alone and that is my personal experience. 

As a response to BK1110: Yeah. ^^

[ILiveForGod]

3 hours ago, FunnyBunny said:

   Thank you guys! This is all very helpful.

As a response to sojourner414:  Yes, I have approached my mother and I also know my father knows how she is. It seems as of yesterday she has decided to stay somewhere else as I think she embarrassed herself and realized that nobody was fooled anymore. It's strange that it happened so suddenly, huh.  I can honestly say that I prayed for her frequently and forgave her over and over again to the point where I even allowed myself to be a victim (I wouldn't suggest that to others). It was very hard--is still hard though she left. I talked to her about Christ and she told me that she had had several spiritual encounters with God and that she still didn't want to call herself a Christian yet. What she described as spiritual encounters seemed to me like the Lord was giving her guilt which I should hope will draw her to repentance and genuinely lead her to Christ. Also, my Father saw what was going on for some of the time, but he has a lot of compassion--which becomes obvious to everyone. All it takes is for her to say ,"Dad (she calls him Dad though she's 20), I miss home. Can I come home?" and he will say ,"sure!" and he puts our feelings aside just like that. I hope that I don't sound vengeful or hateful, but I made a mistake by spending so much time alone during that time she was here and less time with God. I felt so hurt and lonely. I know Holy Spirit was there though I blocked my own sight. I'm saying this for anyone to read. Don't make that mistake. As Christians we are supposed to be like lambs, gentle as can be. We are supposed to be like Lions because God is like a Lion and we were made in his likeness and he lives in us. We are powerful because of God who is with us. Emotions get in the way, and that's ok, but abide in God's presence and he will abide in you. This situation belongs to God. Everything dark is light to God. Trust him in your darkness.   

As a response to ILiveForGod: I think you are mostly right, but I think she was also not 100% right in the head. Several years ago she was in a car accident and I suspect that effected some of the area in her brain that controls emotion and logic. It's not noticeable until you spend a lot of time with her. She did, however have something spiritually off about her. I know for a fact that there was something else floating around her. I'm a spiritually sensitive person but I couldn't pinpoint it since, I don't think she was actually possessed-- just tormented maybe. I would never call a person a leech because God called me beloved in my filth. I'm not supposed to be afraid of this Jezebel spirit so why should I run. I hid only because I felt so angry every time I saw her and I know that was wrong which is why I needed advice. We can either be victims or "give it to God". God does not make his children victims, we allow ourselves to be. Don't give if your not comfortable or if it requires others to sacrifice as well.  But the bible tells us that if we have the gift of giving, we should use it unconditionally as we are blessed to have it. I admire that about my father--he loves people so much, though he wasn't considering me. When you feel uncomfortable with giving, you can stop but that doesn't mean that we should completely cut that person off from our lives. People are not equal to charity organisations that we should give and then sever them from our "holy lives". If you feel uncomfortable with them possibly taking advantage of you then leave nothing material for them to take advantage of. IDK though, maybe God called you to leave those people behind and that's ok. I've never felt called by God to leave people alone and that is my personal experience. 

As a response to BK1110: Yeah. ^^

I said leech to explain that they cling to your life and don't let go. And we are told in scripture that light has no relationship with darkness. So you avoid those of darkness and pray for them. Or invite them to church. You don't invite them into your home. That's what I was saying. You don't remove material things, you remove the darkness in your life. Her Spirit is in Spiritifual Warfare with yours daily because she lives with you. When scripture mentions giving, that means like clothes, food, money, a helping hand. Not letting them live with you. That's unequally yoked. Now her Spirit is in your house and will attack you through her. God bless

[FunnyBunny]

thank you. That makes sense.

[Willa]

We are to be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves. Enjoy your remaining time with your parents.  This might have been a teaching time for you so that when you encounter others like this when you are on your own, you won't allow them to take advantage of you.  We can volunteer help with food and water if they are in need, without getting as personally involved when we are vulnerable and away from home. 

[missmuffet]

On 8/25/2017 at 6:11 AM, FunnyBunny said:

Ok, so there is this girl who stays at our house sometimes as she doesn't have a house. She eats our food and sleeps in one of our rooms. She came with a story that causes everyone to feel the need to take care of her because I think she lives in the past and thrives off of pity. I felt like every time I was alone with her there were not only two in the room. I felt like my spirit twisted inside of me and like I should run. I got close to her anyways because I don't trust feelings that could be biased before I get to know a person. She turned out to be extremely manipulative and somewhat violent. She harshly scolded me a couple times and I was finished w her. She blames her past on everyone and expects them to care. She makes the people who were not even a part of her past suffer and guilt trips them if she does not get what she wants or if they back away when she does something bad. She makes connections that make no sense and gets angry about hardly anything. My mom isn't comfortable either and has asked my dad to not let her stay anymore as she DOES have a lot of other connections, but I think she has manipulated my father w sweet-talk. It's so hard to leave my room when she comes which can be weeks at a time. The problem is I am a Christian and I don't feel right avoiding people--who God sees as my equal. The problem is I'm leaving to become an independent in a week and I have a family to spend time with before I go overseas but I cannot if I'm too busy hiding.

It sounds like you have assessed this person well. Her character and her integrity is not something that you are comfortable with or tells you this is a person that God wants you to have as a friend. That is good. I hope that your dad is not attracted to her.You need to pray to God and give Him your feelings on this. Ask Him to guide you and direct your path in this situation. Can you talk to your dad about your feelings? It is wise to keep this person at a distance. The Bible says we are to hate evil. Being kind yet not giving her any importance or communicating with her unless it is very casual. A week is not very long to endure her negative attitude and you can do it with God and prayer.

I do not think you stated that your parents are Christians.

[FunnyBunny]

1 hour ago, missmuffet said:

It sounds like you have assessed this person well. Her character and her integrity is not something that you are comfortable with or tells you this is a person that God wants you to have as a friend. That is good. I hope that your dad is not attracted to her.You need to pray to God and give Him your feelings on this. Ask Him to guide you and direct your path in this situation. Can you talk to your dad about your feelings? It is wise to keep this person at a distance. The Bible says we are to hate evil. Being kind yet not giving her any importance or communicating with her unless it is very casual. A week is not very long to endure her negative attitude and you can do it with God and prayer.

I do not think you stated that your parents are Christians.

 My parents are both strong believers. I look up to them both and my father would not be attracted to her as a woman if that is what you mean. That said, My father is easily manipulated by young people as that is where his heart is. He was saved as a teen and feels led to be most compassionate to people he can relate to most which are people who are young and in need of help or people who are old and strong in faith.  He is a good man and would not do something he feels is wrong. You want me to talk to him, and I have not yet. I have a reason for this which I will not share. One more thing--If every God loving Holy Spirit vessel keeps her at a distance, how is God supposed to reach her? She will fill herself with company from people who only want her present to push her further from where she needs to be, wouldn't that happen? We are to hate evil. I do hate evil very much, but is evil=flesh and blood?