If I live, I sin.

[Not me]

For about 30 years of my life I was a Christian that had relationship with Christ, that was turbulent at best. Knew that I knew Him, and also knew that He knew me. Could never overcome my desire(s) for sin. I could do “ok” for a month sometimes even more. But I’d find myself always choosing to sin once again. It got to the point where I screamed and screamed, but it never did any good. I would once more choose to sin. It finally got the the point where I told God,  in not to friendly words “that He was unfair, for He put put me in a no win situation, I had come to see that if I was to continue to live, I would continue to choose to  sin. No, if, ands or buts. I was evil at heart I would willing choose sin if given a choice. I screamed at Him that as long as I lived I would sin! I told Him I knew I was wrong/evil but  “I” was the problem, “me” would choose sin. I told Him that since I could not stop myself from choosing sin, the only way for me to stop, was for me to kill myself. I told Him that I’d rather be punished for 40 years of sinning than 50, so my death had to happened. I told Him, I knew it was wrong, but it’s the only thing I could do to stop myself from sinning. So I took a gun and started practicing putting it up to my head. Crying the whole time. Telling Him how mean and unfair He was, because He put me in this position. Called Him all sorts of names. Was so angry at Him. I couldn’t even talk nicely to Him. Being so firmly convinced that only my death would end my sinning. So I cried some more and screamed some more. In the space of about three days God made me to understand that which I had wished for, my “death” was exactly what my salvation in Christ consisted of. He made me to “see” that when He died,  He took “me” all of me, with Him to death. Which meant,  that I had what I wanted “my death”. I “saw” that it was a accomplish fact. This put such a smile on my face and a joy so deep in my heart I couldn’t believe the joy and peace, and knew it to be true. That when “Christ died I died” and I was free from “me”.  For I was my worst enemy, I was the one who would choose to sin. But “I” had died,  so it was just a matter of reckoning it so.  

Have I been sinless since than? Sad to say no. I found myself deliberately choosing to “not” reckon myself dead on a few occasions. Lost all my peace and joy, but I knew how to  get it back. It most definitely was a dark and long road back,  but I “knew” that if I just continued to reckon myself dead the darkness would lift and the joy of God would return. It made me so miserable that to “not” reckon myself dead, became a scary and deadfull thing. Still need to fight the fight of faith, to continue to reckon myself dead, but as long as I do. Victory over the “old man” is a certainty.

Just thought I share how the Lord has worked in my life. Hopefully it will encourage someone to know there is hope for victory over sin. 

In my life it was when I was willing to die rather than sin, when God opened up this  truth to me. When I was willing to give up the life of this world rather than sin. 

Oh the blessing and fellowship with Christ has been a ongoing pleasure. Bring conformed to His image is the only thing of any importantance now. Or as it’s says in scripture; 

“nothing profits but the new creation”

much love in Christ, Not me 

Edited April 18, 2018 by Not me

[Not me]

8 hours ago, Yowm said:

Why is sin so often laid out in terms of the evil we do and not also the good we fail to do?

Oh well, back to the mono-drum lol.

There is more Yowm. 

This is how the Lord brought me so I might walk in newness of life before Him. No more falling and repenting, falling and repenting. Little foxes (sins) still get in the house but no more the ones that lead to death. 

Much love in Christ, Not me

[Heleadethme]

10 hours ago, Yowm said:

Why is sin so often laid out in terms of the evil we do and not also the good we fail to do?

Oh well, back to the mono-drum lol.

You are so right.....so it makes me wonder why we fight and chase away those who are trying to encourage us to do just that.   love ya bro.

[Heleadethme]

11 hours ago, Not me said:

For about 30 years of my life I was a Christian that had relationship with Christ, that was turbulent at best. Knew that I knew Him, and also knew that He knew me. Could never overcome my desire(s) for sin. I could do “ok” for a month sometimes even more. But I’d find myself always choosing to sin once again. It got to the point where I screamed and screamed, but it never did any good. I would once more choose to sin. It finally got the the point where I told God,  in not to friendly words “that He was unfair, for He put put me in a no win situation, I had come to see that if I was to continue to live, I would continue to choose to  sin. No, if, ands or buts. I was evil at heart I would willing choose sin if given a choice. I screamed at Him that as long as I lived I would sin! I told Him I knew I was wrong/evil but  “I” was the problem, “me” would choose sin. I told Him that since I could not stop myself from choosing sin, the only way for me to stop, was for me to kill myself. I told Him that I’d rather be punished for 40 years of sinning than 50, so my death had to happened. I told Him, I knew it was wrong, but it’s the only thing I could do to stop myself from sinning. So I took a gun and started practicing putting it up to my head. Crying the whole time. Telling Him how mean and unfair He was, because He put me in this position. Called Him all sorts of names. Was so angry at Him. I couldn’t even talk nicely to Him. Being so firmly convinced that only my death would end my sinning. So I cried some more and screamed some more. In the space of about three days God made me to understand that which I had wished for, my “death” was exactly what my salvation in Christ consisted of. He made me to “see” that when He died,  He took “me” all of me, with Him to death. Which meant,  that I had what I wanted “my death”. I “saw” that it was a accomplish fact. This put such a smile on my face and a joy so deep in my heart I couldn’t believe the joy and peace, and knew it to be true. That when “Christ died I died” and I was free from “me”.  For I was my worst enemy, I was the one who would choose to sin. But “I” had died,  so it was just a matter of reckoning it so.  

Have I been sinless since than? Sad to say no. I found myself deliberately choosing to “not” reckon myself dead on a few occasions. Lost all my peace and joy, but I knew how to  get it back. It most definitely was a dark and long road back,  but I “knew” that if I just continued to reckon myself dead the darkness would lift and the joy of God would return. It made me so miserable that to “not” reckon myself dead, became a scary and deadfull thing. Still need to fight the fight of faith, to continue to reckon myself dead, but as long as I do. Victory over the “old man” is a certainty.

Just thought I share how the Lord has worked in my life. Hopefully it will encourage someone to know there is hope for victory over sin. 

In my life it was when I was willing to die rather than sin, when God opened up this  truth to me. When I was willing to give up the life of this world rather than sin. 

Oh the blessing and fellowship with Christ has been a ongoing pleasure. Bring conformed to His image is the only thing of any importantance now. Or as it’s says in scripture; 

“nothing profits but the new creation”

much love in Christ, Not me 

Praise the Lord for that revelation, Notme.  The Lord honoured your desire to be holy.  Well, my desire to be holy led Him to threaten to kill me.  For my own good of course.  It worked.    We need His Help, because the other lesson we need to learn is that it is impossible without Him......but WITH Him all things are possible.  If we think we can do this on our own, it only breeds pride and self-righteousnes, so humility becomes another fruit in our lives when we realize we can't do this without Him.  

[Not me]

1 minute ago, Heleadethme said:

Praise the Lord for that revelation, Notme.  The Lord honoured your desire to be holy.  Well, my desire to be holy led Him to threaten to kill me.  For my own good of course.  It worked.    We need His Help, because the other lesson we need to learn is that it is impossible without Him......but WITH Him all things are possible.  If we think we can do this on our own, it only breeds pride and self-righteousnes, so humility becomes another fruit in our lives when we realize we can't do this without Him.  

Bless you my brother in Christ. It is so true,  whatever it takes, that He might get our attention. He only wants life and goodness for us.  But we fight against Him, until He brings something in our life that breaks us. Than we see, like you said “without Him it’s impossible”. Than blessing and peace and a walk but Him that is pleasing to Him. Blessing to you.

“That we would grow in Him in all things and be conformed to His image.”

much love in Christ, Not me

[Heart2Soul]

11 hours ago, Not me said:

For about 30 years of my life I was a Christian that had relationship with Christ, that was turbulent at best. Knew that I knew Him, and also knew that He knew me. Could never overcome my desire(s) for sin. I could do “ok” for a month sometimes even more. But I’d find myself always choosing to sin once again. It got to the point where I screamed and screamed, but it never did any good. I would once more choose to sin. It finally got the the point where I told God,  in not to friendly words “that He was unfair, for He put put me in a no win situation, I had come to see that if I was to continue to live, I would continue to choose to  sin. No, if, ands or buts. I was evil at heart I would willing choose sin if given a choice. I screamed at Him that as long as I lived I would sin! I told Him I knew I was wrong/evil but  “I” was the problem, “me” would choose sin. I told Him that since I could not stop myself from choosing sin, the only way for me to stop, was for me to kill myself. I told Him that I’d rather be punished for 40 years of sinning than 50, so my death had to happened. I told Him, I knew it was wrong, but it’s the only thing I could do to stop myself from sinning. So I took a gun and started practicing putting it up to my head. Crying the whole time. Telling Him how mean and unfair He was, because He put me in this position. Called Him all sorts of names. Was so angry at Him. I couldn’t even talk nicely to Him. Being so firmly convinced that only my death would end my sinning. So I cried some more and screamed some more. In the space of about three days God made me to understand that which I had wished for, my “death” was exactly what my salvation in Christ consisted of. He made me to “see” that when He died,  He took “me” all of me, with Him to death. Which meant,  that I had what I wanted “my death”. I “saw” that it was a accomplish fact. This put such a smile on my face and a joy so deep in my heart I couldn’t believe the joy and peace, and knew it to be true. That when “Christ died I died” and I was free from “me”.  For I was my worst enemy, I was the one who would choose to sin. But “I” had died,  so it was just a matter of reckoning it so.  

Have I been sinless since than? Sad to say no. I found myself deliberately choosing to “not” reckon myself dead on a few occasions. Lost all my peace and joy, but I knew how to  get it back. It most definitely was a dark and long road back,  but I “knew” that if I just continued to reckon myself dead the darkness would lift and the joy of God would return. It made me so miserable that to “not” reckon myself dead, became a scary and deadfull thing. Still need to fight the fight of faith, to continue to reckon myself dead, but as long as I do. Victory over the “old man” is a certainty.

Just thought I share how the Lord has worked in my life. Hopefully it will encourage someone to know there is hope for victory over sin. 

In my life it was when I was willing to die rather than sin, when God opened up this  truth to me. When I was willing to give up the life of this world rather than sin. 

Oh the blessing and fellowship with Christ has been a ongoing pleasure. Bring conformed to His image is the only thing of any importantance now. Or as it’s says in scripture; 

“nothing profits but the new creation”

much love in Christ, Not me 

Thanks for your testimony and I had the same experience years ago about Christianity....I had just got home from church and the sermon convicted me of ANOTHER sin I had committed....(my church taught if you sin after salvation then you are a backslider)...so I went to the front, got prayed for, rededicated my life for the umpteenth time....so when I walked in my house I threw myself on the floor and cried out to God and said I give up...this Christianity thing is just too hard and no matter how hard I try not to sin I mess up.

Well that day God spoke to me for the first time....(LONG story)......and let me know that He was my Father and no matter how many times I mess up He would never stop loving me and that as a loving Father He would correct me and chastise me as needed but that I was His child and it was His job to raise me up into a mature adult in Christ. 

I love my Father!!! I never suffered condemnation again after that....conviction, yes, but not condemnation.

[Heart2Soul]

11 hours ago, Yowm said:

Why is sin so often laid out in terms of the evil we do and not also the good we fail to do?

Oh well, back to the mono-drum lol.

Sin by definition is "wrongdoing" or "immoral act that transgresses against a divine law".....so how else would sin be laid out?

Failing to do good is the same as wrongdoing which is sin.

[Heart2Soul]

2 minutes ago, Yowm said:

That was my point.

Aha! I gotcha now!....more coffee please, I need to wake up! LOL.

[Heleadethme]

20 minutes ago, Yowm said:

You mean to challenge those?..that they be made stronger in what they believe and to learn to defend biblically what they hold as true...not to chase away.

I didn't mean that quite so literally, sorry.   Keep on keeping on in the Lord, brother, bless you.

[Heleadethme]

41 minutes ago, Heart2Soul said:

Thanks for your testimony and I had the same experience years ago about Christianity....I had just got home from church and the sermon convicted me of ANOTHER sin I had committed....(my church taught if you sin after salvation then you are a backslider)...so I went to the front, got prayed for, rededicated my life for the umpteenth time....so when I walked in my house I threw myself on the floor and cried out to God and said I give up...this Christianity thing is just too hard and no matter how hard I try not to sin I mess up.

Well that day God spoke to me for the first time....(LONG story)......and let me know that He was my Father and no matter how many times I mess up He would never stop loving me and that as a loving Father He would correct me and chastise me as needed but that I was His child and it was His job to raise me up into a mature adult in Christ. 

I love my Father!!! I never suffered condemnation again after that....conviction, yes, but not condemnation.

It's a challenge arriving at and maintaining the right balance of spirit and truth.......and whether we are falling into one ditch or the opposite ditch,  the Lord is able to bring us back to the middle of the road, which is really a picture of being in His Spirit.  People are right to preach not to sin, and we need to fear the Lord, but at the same time it really needs to be preached in a right spirit, and not out of the flesh.  And even if some preach condemnation, it still is really our own accountability if we receive their condemnation, it is something we need to overcome, with God's help.  And something else I glean from scripture is that even though we need to remain in His kindness, under His grace, the bible also says if we judge ourselves we will not be condemned with the world....so we really do right to condemn our own sin, and need to.  We are in a battle.....but one that Jesus has already won for us.....and that is why in all these things the Lord is working it all together for our good, ultimately, for those who love Him.  That is why in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him.....and why His promises are yes and amen.  So we keep carrying our cross and following Jesus who died for us, and do not give up.