My parents won’t talk to me anymore because I’m not married.

[1to3]

Thank you for your honest reply Christiangal.

Its clear, the dysfunctional in your family has led you astray to make wrong choices in life.

Again its better you remain single than getting involved with yet another person- who will abuse you as you have been taught to think people should abuse you. No, no one should abuse anybody, No parent, no child, no friend, no boyfriend. Yet it does happen, because of unresolved dysfunction resulting from traumatic experiences in a persons life history, And the lack of seeking God for help and healing.

Until the insanity stops with Gods help, you could easily just go from one abusive relationship to another,not learning anything from the initial experience only accumulating more hurt and trauma, passing it on to others yes even your very own children and the dysfunction just continues..on and on...

These family, childhood wounds can go deep into the subconscious and play out like a broken record, sometimes just randomly being set off by the unconscious and playing when we least expect it, until we seek resolution and healing from God

Again the good news is that God can heal past wounds.

But it takes a beginning and willingness on your part to want to heal and get better.

Your parents may also need to get better but for now, you need to take care of yourself.

There is much I could say, but I think the most important has been uncovered for now and that is, that in order for you to find any true peace from within,  you need first of all Gods healing from past family wounds and need to put closure on patterns of reacting that are not serving you any longer.

Finding your composure with God can help you learn to overcome and heal and also deal positively with past trauma set-ups that also can re surge in the present.

Its a journey but God will give you the strength and the courage you need as long as you keep Him as your main focus of healing, guidance for every concern in your life.

One of the first things is to learn is to drop all judgement over people, places and things and look at whatever concern that comes your way objectively=outside your self (like clouds passing by and you being the observer of what you see in the clouds that are outside yourself and not internalize everything .  Let go and let God. Judgment is mine says the Lord, so bring all concerns to Him and ask Him to take care of the situation.

Hand each of your concerns over to God, start a daily relationship with Him, ask Him to help you learn to place your trust in Him more and more. He will show you how.

From all your unresolved hurt, You don't need a husband right now or maybe ever. but you do need right now recovery, healing recovery from God and that can begin right now.

I will be praying for you.

In Christ Jesus Always;

1to3

 

Edited June 5, 2018 by 1to3

[Christiangal]

Thank you so much. My parents now just look at me with disdain like they don’t know what’s wrong with me and with this attitude of “why can’t you be like a normal woman!”   It’s depressing. I feel the same way, I don’t know why I can’t just be normal like other people, then again my upbringing is a clue like I talked about. 

 

Anyway, thank you 1to3 and everyone for taking the time to respond. It means a lot to me. Hugs. 

[HikerMom]

On 6/5/2018 at 4:24 PM, Christiangal said:

   It’s depressing. I feel the same way, I don’t know why I can’t just be normal like other people, 

Just another thought, Christiangal.  You ARE normal.  We have all been broken to a different extent by the sins of others as well as our own sins.  You are definitely "normal" in that sense.  The good news is that God is always working to redeem what has been broken in our lives.  Be good to yourself.  You are dearly loved.  I hope you are doing ok! 

jen