joshhmusic Posted October 16, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 11 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 22 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/17/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted October 16, 2018 Hi. This might sound really immature from your perspective but I'm sick of it. Please hear me out. I'm 16, a junior in high school. I go to a Christian private school. I have not had a legitimate girlfriend yet. A few flames that quickly flickered out, but nothing "normal". I've not even kissed a girl yet. Every one of my peers has had at least one relationship already. Every day I see their sappy social media posts and pictures with each other and it's a constant numb pain in my torso. Don't get me wrong, I'm not seeking attention. Humbly I know I am somewhat attractive. I know I've got game (did I just say that, wow). For real though. I'm just another normal kid and thankfully there's nothing wrong with me, socially or any other way. But every single time I've tried to spark a relationship with someone that I know is in my league, some ridiculous thing just so happens to come up out of nowhere and the spark fizzles out. When I look back, every attempt I've made got messed up in some stupid way that you would think would be extremely rare but happens every time with me. At least 7+ times. It doesn't matter whether they like me or not. It doesn't matter who it is. Nothing ever comes of it no matter what I try. Why can't I just have fun and enjoy puppy love while I'm still a teenager? Is that just forbidden for me? Why am I being prevented from doing normal teenage stuff? At first I didn't care, but it's built up so much over time. I'm literally sick for that feeling of humanly intimate love (not sex). I want what every other teenager has, but I can't have it. I see absolutely no reason why. I've taken this to God many, many times through prayer, but either nothing happens, or the feeling subsides for a small while. I'm sick of just those two results. I'm doing good in school and other things, there's literally no reason I see why I can't enjoy teenager puppy love. I can't have fun like that once I'm an adult. Laugh it up all you want but I'm so sick of it. It is taking a mental toll on me. I've asked my parents for advice on this, but they're like "Oh honey, that's not real love, wait until you're older." Well it seems like every other teenager's doing fine and enjoying their sappy relationships. I've felt sickly strong love a few times before, but it was never reciprocated. For literally the dumbest reasons. I just want to feel humanly love and have it reciprocated for once. I am pining for something that every other teenager has had at least once, but I've never got it and probably not soon at all. I know that God loves me and that is supposed to fill every void in my heart. I have a great relationship with the Lord but apparently that's not enough? Okay??? I'm pretty sure God's love should be more than enough love in my life! I'm stupidly confused. Thank you for your time. Any insight is appreciated. God bless. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debp Posted October 16, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 52 Topic Count: 1,021 Topics Per Day: 0.15 Content Count: 12,329 Content Per Day: 1.80 Reputation: 16,377 Days Won: 92 Joined: 07/19/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted October 16, 2018 5 hours ago, joshhmusic said: Hi. This might sound really immature from your perspective but I'm sick of it. Please hear me out. I'm 16, a junior in high school. I go to a Christian private school. I have not had a legitimate girlfriend yet. A few flames that quickly flickered out, but nothing "normal". I've not even kissed a girl yet. Every one of my peers has had at least one relationship already. Every day I see their sappy social media posts and pictures with each other and it's a constant numb pain in my torso. Don't get me wrong, I'm not seeking attention. Humbly I know I am somewhat attractive. I know I've got game (did I just say that, wow). For real though. I'm just another normal kid and thankfully there's nothing wrong with me, socially or any other way. But every single time I've tried to spark a relationship with someone that I know is in my league, some ridiculous thing just so happens to come up out of nowhere and the spark fizzles out. When I look back, every attempt I've made got messed up in some stupid way that you would think would be extremely rare but happens every time with me. At least 7+ times. It doesn't matter whether they like me or not. It doesn't matter who it is. Nothing ever comes of it no matter what I try. Why can't I just have fun and enjoy puppy love while I'm still a teenager? Is that just forbidden for me? Why am I being prevented from doing normal teenage stuff? At first I didn't care, but it's built up so much over time. I'm literally sick for that feeling of humanly intimate love (not sex). I want what every other teenager has, but I can't have it. I see absolutely no reason why. I've taken this to God many, many times through prayer, but either nothing happens, or the feeling subsides for a small while. I'm sick of just those two results. I'm doing good in school and other things, there's literally no reason I see why I can't enjoy teenager puppy love. I can't have fun like that once I'm an adult. Laugh it up all you want but I'm so sick of it. It is taking a mental toll on me. I've asked my parents for advice on this, but they're like "Oh honey, that's not real love, wait until you're older." Well it seems like every other teenager's doing fine and enjoying their sappy relationships. I've felt sickly strong love a few times before, but it was never reciprocated. For literally the dumbest reasons. I just want to feel humanly love and have it reciprocated for once. I am pining for something that every other teenager has had at least once, but I've never got it and probably not soon at all. I know that God loves me and that is supposed to fill every void in my heart. I have a great relationship with the Lord but apparently that's not enough? Okay??? I'm pretty sure God's love should be more than enough love in my life! I'm stupidly confused. Thank you for your time. Any insight is appreciated. God bless. Perhaps God is protecting you from something that could lead to eventually sinning? I hear of so many very young people having relationships which end up badly for them, and it sometimes destroys their young lives or at least breaks their hearts. You are still so young.... relationships are really more for when you are dating in order to find a mate. I know a wonderful young lady who will be 20 and she has never had a relationship....she plans to become a doctor and is concentrating on school. Anyhow, if I were you I wouldn't compare myself to what the others are doing. Just be yourself and eventually some nice Christian young lady will take notice of you. Believe me, a Christian gal walking with Jesus will appreciate someone like you. She is probably waiting till later for a relationship. Just some thoughts.... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SisterActs2 Posted October 16, 2018 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 23 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,000 Content Per Day: 0.37 Reputation: 1,655 Days Won: 1 Joined: 11/27/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/08/1950 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Hi Joshhmusic Dear brother. You are 16. I agree with Debp. She is absolutely right. Between the ages of, say, 12 or 13 and about 18-21 young people are going through huge changes in their lives. They do not need the added complication of trying to have a relationship. You may feel you are missing out, but believe me, God is simply caring for you. The reason that young people should not indulge in close relationships with the opposite sex is that it brings about a lot of things that you are simply not able to deal with. Young people are not mature enough to be able to handle relationships like that rationally. Have a look around and see the results of emotional attachment too soon, and with the wrong people, simply because of momentary attraction. God's ways are wiser than ours, His thoughts higher. He is looking out for you. We all make mistakes. A lot of mine were when I was quite young. Put your trust and faith in the Lord Who is able to bring you to maturity in His time. Do you have a youth group at your church, Josh? Does the youth group do things together, like enjoy outings and other things in a group setting? Sometimes we learn quite a bit by being "part of the crowd".... like social interaction, and becoming socially mature. I suggest you put your trust in the Lord; that He will bring things to pass in your life in HIS timing, when He knows you are ready. I hope you understand our counsel is given with absolute love from sisters in the Lord; some of us having brought up children of our own and faced these things before. God bless you Joshhmusic. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_Leung Posted October 16, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 194 Content Per Day: 0.09 Reputation: 183 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/25/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted October 16, 2018 @joshhmusic Brother, if it makes you feel any better, I'm 36 and I've only been in one serious relationship with a Christian lady. I have had crushes before and after that, but most of my crushes would have boyfriends soon after I liked them. I had an average of one major crush (yes, I classified my crushes) in each of the 5 years of high school (grade 8-12), although I was an unbeliever until early 20s. You're 16, and I understand the urge to have a girlfriend at that age and afterwards. Even now I'm still waiting for "the one" from God and doing my best to resist my urge to date anyone I like. You're still young (you may be tired of hearing this, but it's true) and you have a long and bright future. Be patient and trust in His guidance. Meanwhile, enjoy your eternal Beloved in Christ Jesus, who used His life and blood to betroth you to be forever His bride. Seek for the heavenly things but not the things on Earth, such as Earthly relationships that only last a lifetime. He will give to you if it's in His will and for your good. Faith on, bro! This is for us both! 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joshhmusic Posted October 16, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 11 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 22 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/17/2018 Status: Offline Author Share Posted October 16, 2018 @John_LeungThank you so much for the encouragement. I guess I need to keep my mind on the bigger picture. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTC Posted October 23, 2018 Group: Royal Member Followers: 18 Topic Count: 200 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 2,795 Content Per Day: 0.65 Reputation: 1,502 Days Won: 1 Joined: 06/25/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/26/1952 Share Posted October 23, 2018 Josh, I wanted a wife since I was 10 yrs old. I never got one and now I'm in my 60's. Looking back I can see that perhaps I was meant to be in ministry in some way. God was always super important to me but no one I knew ever mentioned going to a Bible collage or seminary school. This just wasn't part of what I was taught and there was still no Internet for the next 40 yrs. Nevertheless, I know how hard it is when all your friends have gfs. It hurts inside. But it's clear in the Bible that God chooses certain people for Himself. It's quite possible that if you focus on God rather than a social life that in 10 yrs you may meet the girl you will marry. I saw that happen too in my long life. If you're where I think you are then you might as well focus on God because if He wants you He will have you. Just don't be like me and wait until you're too old. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForHisGlory37 Posted October 24, 2018 Group: Senior Member Followers: 9 Topic Count: 38 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 641 Content Per Day: 0.27 Reputation: 722 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/02/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted October 24, 2018 Hi Josh, I agree wholeheartedly what everyone has said and I just want to lift you up in prayer. Abba Father, you know Josh's heart. May he continue to give his life to You and surrender his desires to You and align his will with Yours. I pray that he would keep his heart and thoughts on You and that You would protect his future wife to remain pure for Josh. I pray that You would help his future wife to grow up in the love of Jesus and that she would love You Father first. I pray that You would give her godly parents to help direct her path. You are a good good Father. You withhold nothing good from us and always protect us and have our best interest at heart. Thank You Father for Your plans for Josh. May he seek Your Face and Your will for his life with his whole heart. blessings, FHG :D 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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