Self Esteem

[purplepunk724]

I am a 19 year old female in college, and I feel like everyone around me is falling in love or meeting a significant other. I feel so alone all the time and the stress of college doesn't really help with it all. Every time that I like a guy and I find out that he has a girlfriend or he's simply not interested in me, I cry and feel extremely low about myself. Any tips of how to be the one that others want to be in a relationship with? Or just self love tips in general?

[wingnut-]

Your value isn't found in your relationship status, and at your age, what you will mostly find is not a guy who is thinking long term commitment.  My advice is that you just focus on your studies and enjoy the social experience of college without putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.  What you really want is the right guy, and the odds of finding him at this stage of your life is extremely unlikely.  Consider it a blessing you are single, which allows you to concentrate on your education and your relationship with God.  Put Him first, and all these other things will come much easier.

 

I Peter 2:4 As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, 5 you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

 

God bless

[purplepunk724]

Thank you so much for this insight! At this age it is super easy to feel vulnerable and lost. After taking in this response I went out and took your advice and applied for a student government position at my university! I am also working with my roommates to put God first and let the rest follow according to his plan. I appreciate a male realistic perspective on this issue and a clear lense to see my situation through. And yes! THANK GOD I AM SINGLE!!

[George]

Shalom Purplepunk,

When you find your identity in Him -- then you'll find all the other stuff, marriage, finances, personal esteem is based on WHO HE declares you are.  As wing was saying ...

Mat 6:33  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

So who are you in the Lord?

You are a child of God
John 1:12  But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God,

You are a friend of God
John 15:15  No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

You are justified
Romans 5:1  Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

You are united with the Lord and one with Him in spirit
1 Corinthians 6:17  But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.

You have been bought with a price and You now belong to God
1 Corinthians 6:20  for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

You are member of Christ's Body
1 Corinthians 12:27  Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

You have direct access to God
Ephesians 2:18  For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father.

You are redeemed and forgiven of all your sins
Colossians 1:14  in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

You are complete in Christ and secure in Him
Colossians 2:10  And you are complete in Him, who is the Head of all principality and power,

You are Free from Condemnation
Rom 8:1  There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 
Rom 8:2  But the Law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. 

You are assured that all things work together for good
Rom 8:28  And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

You are free from condemning charges against you
Rom 8:31  What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 
Rom 8:32  Truly He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 
Rom 8:33  Who shall lay anything to the charge of God's elect? It is God who justifies. 

You cannot be separated from the love of God
Rom 8:35  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 
Rom 8:36  As it is written, "For Your sake we are killed all the day long. We are counted as sheep of slaughter." 
Rom 8:37  But in all these things we more than conquer through Him who loved us. 
Rom 8:38  For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 
Rom 8:39  nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

You are established, anointed and sealed by God
2Co 1:21  But He confirming us and anointing us with you in Christ is God. 
2Co 1:22  And He has sealed us and having given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts. 

You are hidden with Christ in God
Col 3:3  For you died, and your life has been hidden with Christ in God.

The good work begun in You will be perfected
Php 1:6  being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ,

You are a citizen of heaven
Php 3:20  For our citizenship is in Heaven, from which also we are looking for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ,

You have not been given a spirit of fear
2Ti 1:7  For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

You can find grace and mercy in your times of need
Heb 4:16  Therefore let us come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

You are significant
Mat 5:13  You are the salt of the earth, but if the salt loses its savor, with what shall it be salted? It is no longer good for anything, but to be thrown out and to be trodden underfoot by men. 
Mat 5:14  You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 

You are chosen to be a channel of His life and to produce much fruit
Joh 15:1  I am the True Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser.
Joh 15:5  I am the Vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

You are God's Temple
1Co 3:16  Do you not know that you are a temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?

You are a minister of reconciliation
2Co 5:17  So that if any one is in Christ, that one is a new creature; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 
2Co 5:18  And all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given to us the ministry of reconciliation; 
2Co 5:19  whereas God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and putting the word of reconciliation in us. 
2Co 5:20  Then we are ambassadors on behalf of Christ, as God exhorting through us, we beseech you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 

You are God's Co-Worker
2Co 6:1  But working together, we also call on you not to receive the grace of God in vain.

You are seated with Christ in the heavenly realm
Eph 2:6  and has raised us up together and made us sit together in the heavenlies in Christ Jesus,

You are God's workmanship
Eph 2:10  For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to good works, which God has before ordained that we should walk in them.

You can approach God with freedom and confidence
Eph 3:12  in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through His faith.

You can do all things through Christ
Php 4:13  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Stay in Him -- receive God's promises for your life!

God bless,

George

[purplepunk724]

On 2/4/2019 at 1:52 PM, George said:

Shalom Purplepunk,

When you find your identity in Him -- then you'll find all the other stuff, marriage, finances, personal esteem is based on WHO HE declares you are.  As wing was saying ...

Mat 6:33  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

So who are you in the Lord?

You are a child of God
John 1:12  But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God,

You are a friend of God
John 15:15  No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

You are justified
Romans 5:1  Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

You are united with the Lord and one with Him in spirit
1 Corinthians 6:17  But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.

You have been bought with a price and You now belong to God
1 Corinthians 6:20  for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

You are member of Christ's Body
1 Corinthians 12:27  Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

You have direct access to God
Ephesians 2:18  For through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father.

You are redeemed and forgiven of all your sins
Colossians 1:14  in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

You are complete in Christ and secure in Him
Colossians 2:10  And you are complete in Him, who is the Head of all principality and power,

You are Free from Condemnation
Rom 8:1  There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 
Rom 8:2  But the Law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. 

You are assured that all things work together for good
Rom 8:28  And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

You are free from condemning charges against you
Rom 8:31  What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 
Rom 8:32  Truly He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 
Rom 8:33  Who shall lay anything to the charge of God's elect? It is God who justifies. 

You cannot be separated from the love of God
Rom 8:35  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 
Rom 8:36  As it is written, "For Your sake we are killed all the day long. We are counted as sheep of slaughter." 
Rom 8:37  But in all these things we more than conquer through Him who loved us. 
Rom 8:38  For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 
Rom 8:39  nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

You are established, anointed and sealed by God
2Co 1:21  But He confirming us and anointing us with you in Christ is God. 
2Co 1:22  And He has sealed us and having given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts. 

You are hidden with Christ in God
Col 3:3  For you died, and your life has been hidden with Christ in God.

The good work begun in You will be perfected
Php 1:6  being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ,

You are a citizen of heaven
Php 3:20  For our citizenship is in Heaven, from which also we are looking for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ,

You have not been given a spirit of fear
2Ti 1:7  For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

You can find grace and mercy in your times of need
Heb 4:16  Therefore let us come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

You are significant
Mat 5:13  You are the salt of the earth, but if the salt loses its savor, with what shall it be salted? It is no longer good for anything, but to be thrown out and to be trodden underfoot by men. 
Mat 5:14  You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 

You are chosen to be a channel of His life and to produce much fruit
Joh 15:1  I am the True Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser.
Joh 15:5  I am the Vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

You are God's Temple
1Co 3:16  Do you not know that you are a temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?

You are a minister of reconciliation
2Co 5:17  So that if any one is in Christ, that one is a new creature; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 
2Co 5:18  And all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given to us the ministry of reconciliation; 
2Co 5:19  whereas God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and putting the word of reconciliation in us. 
2Co 5:20  Then we are ambassadors on behalf of Christ, as God exhorting through us, we beseech you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 

You are God's Co-Worker
2Co 6:1  But working together, we also call on you not to receive the grace of God in vain.

You are seated with Christ in the heavenly realm
Eph 2:6  and has raised us up together and made us sit together in the heavenlies in Christ Jesus,

You are God's workmanship
Eph 2:10  For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to good works, which God has before ordained that we should walk in them.

You can approach God with freedom and confidence
Eph 3:12  in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through His faith.

You can do all things through Christ
Php 4:13  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Stay in Him -- receive God's promises for your life!

God bless,

George

George, Thank you for your message! And thank you for all of these wonderful passages that you've left for me to understand who I am in God. I greatly appreciate it<3

[George]

1 hour ago, purplepunk724 said:

George, Thank you for your message! And thank you for all of these wonderful passages that you've left for me to understand who I am in God. I greatly appreciate it<3

If you have any other questions, I'm here for you!  God bless,

George