Coming back to God and taking Him more seriously?

[dazeddaisy]

I hate going through these waves.

I'll be really on fire for God for a couple weeks, cutting out worldly music, fellowshipping with other believers, working on Christian projects, and so on.

Then, I slowly start falling back. It's like, in a moment, I forget everything I was focused on in the weeks before, and I don't remember until I'm really feeling convicted. I feel as though in these moments, I'm not taking God and his gift of salvation as seriously as I should. Really--why is something that amazing slipping from my memory?

And I really hate that. I really hate feeling far away from God. I used to never notice when I was living the way that I used to live, but now it pains me.

So here's my question: how do I come back to God after I've fallen away and then stay there?

[AnOrangeCat]

Have you ever taken a close look at what's going through your head and happening in your life when you start to slip? If you can identify common elements that turn up when you start slipping away it might help you figure out how to address it. If you don't already have a grasp on what pulls you away then keeping a journal for a while might help you. Aside from that immersion (surrounding yourself with as much of a Christian environment as possible) and accountability to another person are generally good ways to keep yourself on track. Reporting the ups and downs of a struggle with addiction to another person is something a lot of support groups tend to encourage for that reason.

[Michael37]

1 hour ago, dazeddaisy said:

I hate going through these waves.

I'll be really on fire for God for a couple weeks, cutting out worldly music, fellowshipping with other believers, working on Christian projects, and so on.

Then, I slowly start falling back. It's like, in a moment, I forget everything I was focused on in the weeks before, and I don't remember until I'm really feeling convicted. I feel as though in these moments, I'm not taking God and his gift of salvation as seriously as I should. Really--why is something that amazing slipping from my memory?

And I really hate that. I really hate feeling far away from God. I used to never notice when I was living the way that I used to live, but now it pains me.

So here's my question: how do I come back to God after I've fallen away and then stay there?

Hi Daisy, The pattern you describe is common among Christians when outward shows of spirituality, zeal, and commitment are given priority over inward communion with Christ on a personal level in conjunction with His Word. Think of a bank account into which insufficient deposits are made to cover withdrawals. In spiritual terms the resulting deficit is analagous to the parched places in the passage below. The leaf that stays green is faith that never wavers regardless of circumstances.

Jer 17:5-8
(5)  Thus says the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, and whose heart departs from the LORD.
(6)  For he shall be like the heath in the desert, and shall not see when good comes; but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land and not inhabited.
(7)  Blessed is the man that trusts in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.
(8)  For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreads out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat comes, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.

I was in a large fellowship that had an intense drama program, dramatised sermons and weekend shows with professional inputs and special effects were being given priority. One young man involved in this "ministry" came my way asking for prayer to help with burn-out symptoms, describing the hardness that had taken over his prayer-life and devotional Bible study, making his previously enjoyable communion with God extremely difficult with the burden of rehearsals and performances.

Regular time out of busyness and time in to restedness leads to much fruitfulness in Christ.  

[BeauJangles]

2 hours ago, dazeddaisy said:

I hate going through these waves.

I'll be really on fire for God for a couple weeks, cutting out worldly music, fellowshipping with other believers, working on Christian projects, and so on.

Then, I slowly start falling back. It's like, in a moment, I forget everything I was focused on in the weeks before, and I don't remember until I'm really feeling convicted. 

And I really hate that. I really hate feeling far away from God. I used to never notice when I was living the way that I used to live, but now it pains me.

So here's my question: how do I come back to God after I've fallen away and then stay there?

Hi Daisy, 

I think many can relate, myself included, to what you're going through at this stage of your walk with our Lord. And I'm absolutely in prayer for you, sister. The compassionate words of counsel and advice from AnOrangeCat, and Michael37 say much. More couldn't be better stated. All the best to you, in Christ Jesus. God bless!

Shalom, 

David/BeauJangles

[Tzephanyahu]

Shalom dazeddaisy,

I've been there, several times!  It can seem quite confusing, right?

What you wrote below reminds me of Paul writing in the letter to the Romans, Chapter 7, from verse 13 onwards.

2 hours ago, dazeddaisy said:

And I really hate that. I really hate feeling far away from God. I used to never notice when I was living the way that I used to live, but now it pains me.

So, what can be done?

First of all, I think you'll find it harder if you have Christian music and art on one side and then worldly music an art on the other. Such a black & white approach will only come back to bite you as you'll judge yourself when not enjoying the "Christian" side.  Because the more rules and divisions we set up in our minds only serves to trap us in guilt and condemnation when we inevitably fail - which is what sin would have us do.

We are in the world but not of the world.  To cut out worldly things entirely is nigh on impossible as it's our current home.  That said, not all worldly music and art is evil.  The artists and musicians are people as well and, although they do not have God, that doesn't mean it's all evil and glorifying the devil. in fact, some worldly music and art can be edifying in terms of provoking you to think, praise God and helping you relate with those still of the world - in hopes for their salvation. Paul used such methods when relating to gentiles, such as in Athens.

Now, with constant filling of the Word in your mind, and teachings on the Word DAILY, will help keep you clear minded and focused - whether working on a Christian project or one of the world. It will help you appreciate Yahweh in all things, both what you see in the Christian movement and in the world.  Again, I recommend the Word or teaching on the Word - I'd stay away from Christian self-help books, "prosperous living",  "feel-this-in-10-days" teachings.  The Word, the Word and the Word!  You will never exhaust it and never reach the bottom! It's alive!

So in conclusion, don't try to remove yourself from the world fully - for that would mean you would be of little use to the lost or would require your physical death.  But instead, fill yourself with the Word daily, as much as possible.  Listen to it.  Watch those word-for-word films on the Gospels.  Meditate on difficult verses and meditate of wonderful ones.  Search out mysteries you don't understand and re-read verses you think you know well with no preconceived ideas - ensuring you digest it correctly. 

I've done this and I can vouch that, even though I am in the world, I can hear worldly music, see worldly movies and appreciate them (although probably in not the same way as those without God). I also work in a very-worldly environment - full of silly worldly desires, goals and language. Yet, in all these things, my mind is filled with thoughts of Him and praises to Him - because I fill it with the Word.  The world doesn't "stick" as much, it now washes off easier.

With this in mind, meditate on this in John 13:10. Jesus says "Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean."

I hope that makes sense. 

May Yahweh bless you for your heart that yearns Him more and more. 

Love & Shalom