Having faith in difficult times

[Aimes]

@worriedwife69 My prayers are with you, sweet sister. Believing our Father to touch both you and your husband. As Mich said, you’re doing the best you can. Please know we’re praying for you continuously and please come back and message with us whenever you feel the need. We’re here for you. 

[mlbrokish]

9 minutes ago, Isaiah53NIV said:

Worriedwife69, I also would encourage you to post this in the prayer request area.   It might get more views there.

@worriedwife69, as she mentioned, if you copy your initial post on this thread, and copy it to Prayer Requests, you will get MANY more prayer warriors coming together to encourage and support you. 

Thanks @Isaiah53NIV (sorry I missed you in my previous post).

[listener24]

@worriedwife69

dear sister,

thank you for sharing your struggles with us so that we can be with you in prayer.

I'm very sorry for this, and I look forward to the day all our tears will be wiped out. Our Lord is even more eager for the coming of that Day.

The Lord is the High Priest who can sympathize with us. He is with you and your husband in this struggle, He knows what it means to suffer, to be tempted, to carry on the weight and consequences of sin.

Even if it can be so hard when the circumstances are so terrible, let us remember together that God's infinite love is always with us. He will not abandon us. He is carrying us by hand through these tribulations, ready to celebrate with us in His Kingdom and ready to send us His Spirit while we are still here. 

Sometimes, even when we are not doing anything wrong, it's not always easy to feel God's love because we are so used to attribute it to the circumstances, or to the love of those around us. But even when the circumstances gets dark and those around us are going through hard time, let us remember Jesus's Words:

"A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me."
 

I pray that you may know deep in your heart that God is with you in this dark hour. Also know that the Lord is looking with the same compassion to your husband, He is suffering with him and He is not looking at the behavior he may be having because of the hardships, but at his redeemed soul, with as much love as He Has always had for him.

Love in Christ,

listener

Edited September 29, 2019 by listener24

[Henry_iain]

1 hour ago, worriedwife69 said:

Helllo, I needed to come back for some encouragement so I was rereading the replies. These past couple of weeks have been very up and down. He has good days then a couple really bad days, mostly from chemo and just adjusting to other things from his surgery. I keep praying and praying and giving this to God and I want to I know He is the only one who can deliver me from my fears and anxieties but I still seem to always be so afraid and full of anxiety. I sit with the Lord and cry out to him, I just feel like I'm doing something wrong. I know in my heart God has control of this and I can't fix anything but here every day I struggle with actually doing this.

It is so hard on those difficult days he has how he feels like he's a hostage to his own home and can't even go anywhere and how he gets angry, i'm not used to that it scares me, I don't know how to react. I know he's hurting and hates what he is going through and I'm sure others have felt like giving up but I just don't know how to react it hurts, I pray. thanks for listening

Worriedwife, I am really sorry you are going through such a tough time. I will pray for you and your husband. You are getting some great  advice here. From what I have read, you really are doing everything you can. You are already showing tremendous courage and strength. Your feelings are entirely normal. Keep trusting God. Don't give up. Let it all out. Whatever you need to do to get through this (and you will) we are here for.

[Jubilea]

@worriedwife69, you are going through such a difficult time, but I want to offer you something to consider. The very best thing you could ever, ever do for your husband is to concentrate on your relationship with Christ and to simply "be" the Hands of Jesus to him. Anxiety does not come from the LORD. It is a product of fear, and fear comes from the devil. Do you best to stamp out the devil's stirring you up.

Jesus is Peace and stability, oh, and your husband needs to see peace and stabililty. That is what he is looking for, and he knows he needs it. Anxiety will not draw your husband to the LORD; it will repel him. I wonder what your husband would think if he saw Jesus walking into his room and ministering to him? He can!- through you.

Are you trying too hard, Sister? Jesus says, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11: 28-30)

Do the best you can to let the heavy burden you are carrying fall from your shoulders and bend over (bow yourself) and move under the yoke of Christ. Just rest and let Him gently lead you in ministering to your husband. His yoke is peace. His yoke is rest. Try to stay conscious of being in the yoke of Jesus with Him right beside you. It will take practice because your default mode is anxiety right now, but you can do it. Just one step at a time in His yoke. He is there offering it to you . . .

?

Edited September 30, 2019 by Jubilea
sp

[worriedwife69]

Thank you I really appreciate everyone responding and with encouragement. Jubilea you are absolutely right, I know that when he sees my fear and anxiety he's not seeing Christ. If I cry with him or just have a crying episode does that make me look weak to him? Does that make it seem I'm not trusting God to my husband? I am trying so hard every day to give it to Him. Thanks everyone

[Coliseum]

On 8/29/2019 at 6:58 PM, worriedwife69 said:

Thank you everyone. It is so hard to go through this when your spouse is not a believer, or maybe he is but is really struggling with believing why God would do this. He told me that he wants to believe in God but when he has prayed it has always ended up bad, a few of those times have been when his mother was ill then died, when his father was ill and died, his medical issues but they keep getting worse. He has simply lost faith. In my times of weakness because this is so hard, hearing him be so negative and saying he doesn't even want to be here anymore are difficult things to hear and I feel like he sees my weakness more than my trust in God.

Things I have done to remain positive,Lots of prayer, I have been in the word a lot, reading versus that mean a lot to me during this time. Outside of that talking with friends although a couple of them are not Christians but I do have a couple that are. I have family that are Christians but my husband does not like them knowing a lot about his issues because my mother tells the world the moment she finds out anything and my husband is a very private person. We have asked her not to only to find that she "slipped" and right now having them constantly bringing up God has been a touchy subject recently so it makes it difficult for me to talk with them. I keep praying and giving it to God but I can't seem to get rid of all of the anxiety feelings I have.

I recall sister a young boy was living with his father and uncle. The boy's father was a pastor. Yet the boy could not come to Christ. His father fed his son rule after rule, and it made the boy grow despondent. Later, as the boy finally became 20, he turned to his uncle and said to him, "Uncle, I have watched you hardly ever say anything like my father, but I saw you living out your Christian faith, and it is because of that, today I decided to give my heart to Jesus."

So it is with us. People hardly ever remember what is said to them, but they will always remember what you do. Keep persevering in your faith, praying as you are, reading the Word, and staying faithful to the Lord. You need say very little; your husband is watching you, even in your time of difficulty. Stand firm in your faith, and do not give up. Let your husband see just how much you love him by your actions. Praying for you even now. God bless you.

Edited September 30, 2019 by Coliseum

[worriedwife69]

Thank you, great story!

I do have a question for anyone. So I always tell my husband I am praying for him and he doesn't usually say anything, which is actually a good thing. However, when things get bad, for instance when he got the cancer diagnosis and then the diagnosis got worse going from stage 2 to stage 3 he told me that prayer doesn't work, and said he didn't want anyone to pray for him anymore (I do not think he really meant it but he was scared at that moment) and that he prayed for his mom and dad yet they both still died. I have a hard time knowing what to say in these times. I mean I see to him how he thinks prayer isn't working but I explained to him  when his mom passed away, she was not a believer but when you brought the pastor in to sit with her those weeks she was sick she came to know the Lord, I said maybe at another time she wouldn't have. He never really said anything other than he wants to believe in God but is having a hard time. I just don't ever know what to say in those times. I always pray for the Lord to give me the words to speak and wisdom but I am still learning so much.

[Coliseum]

1 minute ago, worriedwife69 said:

Thank you, great story!

I do have a question for anyone. So I always tell my husband I am praying for him and he doesn't usually say anything, which is actually a good thing. However, when things get bad, for instance when he got the cancer diagnosis and then the diagnosis got worse going from stage 2 to stage 3 he told me that prayer doesn't work, and said he didn't want anyone to pray for him anymore (I do not think he really meant it but he was scared at that moment) and that he prayed for his mom and dad yet they both still died. I have a hard time knowing what to say in these times. I mean I see to him how he thinks prayer isn't working but I explained to him  when his mom passed away, she was not a believer but when you brought the pastor in to sit with her those weeks she was sick she came to know the Lord, I said maybe at another time she wouldn't have. He never really said anything other than he wants to believe in God but is having a hard time. I just don't ever know what to say in those times. I always pray for the Lord to give me the words to speak and wisdom but I am still learning so much.

Sometimes, it is better to sit and listen. We do not always need to, or have the right words to say. Simply giving him a hug can say plenty. When I had cancer, sometimes I received no words but their tender silence. 

[Jubilea]

18 minutes ago, worriedwife69 said:

If I cry with him or just have a crying episode does that make me look weak to him? Does that make it seem I'm not trusting God to my husband?

Actually it shows that you're human. In Romans 12:15, Paul tells us to “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” Just stay with Jesus under His yoke. If you continue under His yoke, over time you'll notice His strength building in you.

Remember that Jesus loves your husband far more than you